[lasaraconor]

[your-neighbor-bear]

Clocking in at my shift (watching a French chef commit espionage)

[neuer-fruehling]

agathe being able to tell the difference between the whipped creams....yeah

[cutecipher]

a victorian child would literally explode if you detonated c4 near them. weak.

[kilncreatures]

walky pink shark

[knightclubbing]

worry not my lord, allow me to unscrew that jar for you. i would not want for you to strain your hand or break a nail. alright. hmm. HMMMM. HNNNGRGHHHHHH. HNNGGHHHH HRRRRRGHHH. AAAAAARGHHHHHHH fucking. squire fetch me my grippy gloves

[redstonedust]

when boy bands sing a love song addressed to the listener does that imply all 5-10 of them are in love with you at once. that seems like a lot of pressure i don't know if i want to be the nucleus of the boyband polycule.

[munchy-k]

ive always rly liked the idea of a member of a group of adventurers having what everyone assumes is very well trained hawk and then at the end of their journey its casually revealed that thats actually just his buddy whos a shapeshifter and just rly likes being a hawk

[dragon-in-a-fez]

I love when cats get a claw stuck in your clothes and then act like it's YOUR fault. lil bro I'm literally just clad in garments you're the one with your terror toes deployed

[emmaharwoods]

With 16 nominations, Sinners makes history as the most Oscar-nominated film of all time.

[sayahbayahboo]

One pool floatie to rule them all

[lasaraconor]

[12doomed]

happy holidays to the most evil vampires i know!

[omtai]

why is it sooo hard to conclude essays. I said all that because fuck you thats why

[crisismoth]

sometimes i be saying im gonna go to bed and then i dont go to bed. frequently in fact. this is because i have the heart of an optimist and the soul of a liar

[dogsuffrage]

I like when delivery people ask you to sign their tiny shitty screen with your finger like alright sure we can do some free drawing I guess. Some random strokes that evoke the essence of a signature. Looking me dead in the eyes while I play fruit ninja on this blank screen. Why not.

[lokaror]

Ok assholes who stole my ice scimitars and also why is there a huge fucking puddle of water in the break room