miss sunshine

OF COURSE I’m scared Would I be thinking straight if I wasn’t? of course I’m scared s o m e t i m e s  Even if I say it don’t phase me Or if I say I’m not HAZY But drowning ain’t so bad ‘Cause at least you know where you’re  g o i n g And we’re all future bound So I guess that’s really the SAME THING.

[pillsandpompoms-blog]

“What do you think…” she started, turning in the mirror, studying the outfit she had pieced together on her slim frame, “… with, or without the white jacket?” Payson asked to her roommate over her shoulder. Not that she expected Bri to be giving the blonde her undivided attention, but she was just curious what the girls opinion was. Payson was just happy she knew her roommate and got along well with them. “Or maybe I should change the skirt back to the pink one….” the girl mused.

@ofencvmbrance

[ofencvmbrance]

abrielle, half asleep, rested her chin in her curved palm as her golden-skinned roomate adorned her perfectly slim figured in article after article. . . god, this was exhausting. she couldn’t remember payson’s reasoning for wanting to get dressed up, abrielle wasn’t even sure what time it was, but she didn’t protest when the other insisted she provide her with aid on choosing an outfit.  ❝ with, ❞ bri informed her, drowsy, blinking the sleep from her eyes;  ❝ no, keep the jeans. . . they’re flattering. the skirt would make you look like brittany spears in the early 2000′s and you really, REALLY don’t want that.❞ bri then sat up a bit straighter, clutching a pillow to her chest; ❝ what are you getting all dressed up for anyway?? is there a party i don’t know about or something??❞

[rikkie-jpg]

she’s just sitting outside smoking and reading a book. she wants peace. when she hears footsteps, and a door opening, she’s quick to put her cigarette out as inconspicuously as she can. her mind races as she prepares to get in trouble, and her she pulls her knees tighter to her chest, her open book still resting upon them. 

[ofencvmbrance]

abrielle needed to get the FUCK out of here; she was so done with brielle, with the patients, with the doctors, with ryder- with EVERYTHING. heels of extended hands pressed against the latch of the door, sending it FLYING open as the small blonde girl stormed outside. she was just about ready to BREAK something ( her own neck, she contemplated ) but was caught off guard when she made eye contact with someone sitting outside. ❝ shit, sorry,❞ bri apologized, wiping subconciously at her eyes which were moistened with her frustrations.   ❝ that was a bit dramatic- i’m just. . . don’t mind me, okay??❞ 

[ofencvmbrance]

xx-violentdelights:

Adrian stared at the blonde for a moment after her outburst. All he’d said was that there was no security staff monitoring her, and she couldn’t sit out there alone. He wasn’t used to sharp tongues in a place of healing. “I mean that you being out here with little to no supervision is enough to get you into trouble… Is that really what you want?” She didn’t seem to be doing anything wrong but he didn’t really know who this one was. 

“The garden is normally patrolled by two security guards, but one called in and the other is on his break you’re not allowed to be out here unsupervised. The art room is quiet today, if you’re looking for a quiet place to work.”

         abrielle, seeing his face, immediately felt bad for snapping. ❝-     look, sir, im sorry. i’m just really stressed out, okay?? i needed to get outside and clear my head.❞ the blonde, frowning at his words, turned to look down at her notes, beginning to scrawl little swirls on the bottom right side of the page. ❝ i mean, technically i’m not out here unsupervised. . . you’re here, now.❞ sapphires looked up at him, almost pleading; ❝ if i go back in that building i’m going to actually go CRAZY. just a little while longer... please?? ❞

[ofencvmbrance]

 ❝-         what do you mean i’m not allowed to BE HERE??❞ abrielle sneered, brows furrowed and a distasteful expression on her face. she was just outside on a bench doing some homework. . . it was NICE out.  ❝ seriously, what the fuck is up with this place?? i’m just sitting on a bench- i’m not breaking any rules. none that i was made AWARE OF, at least. . . ❞

[ofencvmbrance]

pillsandpompoms:  

“Is it really that different?” Payson had never put much thought into it… her name had always just been her name. “I mean, I’ve gotta ask… any correlation between you -your name- and this place?” she asked half jokingly. The odds were slim, of course, but it’s not like Payson had ever even heard of the name Abrielle before. Sitting on floors wasn’t below her, but it was definitely a far cry from the custom crafted formal dining room chairs of her former life. At least living with Elise for the last month was good for something… it made for a somewhat-easier transition to Brielle. Payson walked over, making a mental note to clean her white jeans off when she got up to avoid any permanent stains. “Thanks,” she said as the blonde lowered herself to the floor. “How long have you been waiting for?” She asked. Payson had been high for almost the entirety of the trip, and hadn’t been told much info about the place, at least none that she remembered, and had many questions itching in the back of her head.

❝ i mean, usually you hear PAYTON but… no, i’ve never heard payson before in my life,❞ abrielle informed the other, but rolling her eyes at her following JOKE in regards to the blonde’s relation to brielle. ❝ if i had any relationship to this place i’d actually kill myself. i alreadyhate the people i AM related to, let alone having anything to do with this fuckin’ NIGHTMARE.❞ then, realizing the girl beside her could have been ADMITTED for such a thing, she cleared her throat. ❝ ──  sorry, that was insensitive but… you know what i mean.❞ the blonde then folded her arms and rested them atop her knees, drumming her sneaker-clad toes on the linoleum. ❝ um, at least an hour?? there was a… situation with a patient in the building that required 99% of the staff so… ❞

[ofencvmbrance]

ryderstypewriter:

Ryder had been asleep.

It was what he did most of the time. His hospital room was dark, with one grimy, cracked window that did nothing to counteract the harsh fluorescent lights that beamed down from above him. Since Ryder had been here, he’d gotten few visitors. Adam didn’t show, which he both expected but was still hurt by, but Doc had stopped in once or twice, and one day he’d found a couple paperbacks on his bedside table. He still didn’t know who those were from, but he appreciated them nonetheless.

But reading only got him so far, and he’d already read the Hemingway novel a couple times. So he slept, and slept, and slept. Besides, sleeping was supposed to help heal, right?

Ryder had had the lights off–to keep some sense of normalcy, plus he could barely make it to the switch and back without help now–when his door had opened, slammed, and introduced the sound of a hysteric girl. 

He propped himself up on his elbows, peering into the darkness. It was pretty fucking dark and with some effort he sat all the way up, the blankets falling off his stitched-up side. 

Ryder really wasn’t expecting to hear his own name. Especially not coming from someone who sounded just like his sister.

“Bri? Abrielle, is that you?” Disuse had rendered his voice hesitant, but he spoke anyways. “Shit. Bri?”

suddenly the blonde was a CHILD again- fourteen. fourteen and ABANDONED as her big brother- her family- turned down the opportunity to be her legal guardian and turned her over to the foster system. she felt so small and helpless , seeing his face and not knowing what to say, words slipping past her as her teeth bit cruelly on the tip of her tongue. hearing his voice made her want to cry, made her want to tell him about how HORRIBLE life has been for her- how weak she felt, how tired she was, how thankful she was to no longer alone.  

and yet here she was, in a dull hospital room with her big brother feeling more ALONE than she ever had living on the streets. living in the foster system. living with two deadbeat parents. . . and saying NOTHING. no, she didn’t want to say anything to him. she wanted to SCREAM.

 ryder had ruined her fucking LIFE.

❝ what are. . . what are you doing here?? why are you in a hospital bed?? ❞  

[ofencvmbrance]

closed starter for @ryderstypewriter​

after getting settled in her room and receiving a physical check-up ( mainly to check her scarred arms and EVIDENT malnourishment ), a scrawny, exhausted, and insanely confused abrielle was sent to yet another dark, unwelcoming room with little information and little aid from the nurses. she was told NOTHING, and was left confused and by herself when the nurses shut the door- leaving her ALONE ( or so she thought ). abrielle, panicking, paced towards the door and jiggled the handle- it had been locked. . . temporarily, she had hoped. ❝ what the FUCK is going on??❞  the girl began to smack her palms on the door, kicking it with her foot; ❝ hey- OPEN THIS DOOR!! what is WRONG with you people?? this is some fuckin’ stephen king ass BULLSHIT.❞ when she received no answer, the frantic blonde turned around to press her back to the wood, head hung as she tried to stop herself from crying. it was then she heard a movement, and slowly she raised her head. she saw a shadow, her heart beginning to thud wildly in her chest. . . and after squinting, she could just make out who it was;

❝ ──  r-ryder...?? ❞  

[ofencvmbrance]

donovans-apocalypse:

 “Okay–Okay well um, we don’t need to calm down then!” Donovan scrambled over his words trying to somehow make things better. He had been told before by the other kids back at Sir’s place that he talked too much and too loud, but he still continued to speak to the blonde. “I was just um asking you if other patients had arrived with you or not.” 

❝ ──  WHAT??❞  was this kid okay?? he seemed like he was losing his shit, but abrielle had no interest in getting involved with anymore NUTS than she needed to; ❝ um, yeah, like one other girl- my roommate payson. why, do you know her or something?? ❞   

[ofencvmbrance]

pillsandpompoms:

“Next to him, I’m probably as uncrazy as it gets,” Payson replied with a scoff before turning towards the voice. The girl in front of her looked relatively normal, which was a relief. Surely most people in here weren’t trying to mimic those inflatable wind dancing car sales noodle things like that boy was, but Bri’s words indicated that she probably shouldn’t get her hopes up. “Seriously? How much worse can it get….” she muttered. “Bri it is then. I’m Payson, Saunders,” the blonde gave a polite half-smile. “I’m glad I’m not the only one coming in today. Is there a long wait…?” Payson asked, eyeing the duffel bag.

abrielle rolled her eyes with a grin laced on her lips, nodding in agreement; ❝ you’re telling me… ❞ she muttered, folding her arms and resting them atop her knee caps, sighing. at the other’s introduction, she raised her brows and let out a short laugh; ❝payson?? shit, and i thought MY name was different.❞ abrielle always hated her names, but she also hated all of her possible nicknames, so it was really a lose lose situation. ❝ not really, i’m just hanging out here until i get my room assignment. he’s with someone right now but… you’re welcome to- ❞ she patted the linoleum space besides her with a faux enthusiasm, grinning up at the other; ❝ ──  pop a squat.❞  

[ofencvmbrance]

tristanfuckinpowell:

Tristan smacked his head with his palm, gritting his teeth together as he paced the space in front of the vacant nurses’ station impatiently. “Just– Just fuckin’ tell me if you’ve seen a dark haired older girl named Demi, okay? Not that hard,” he growled, cracking his knuckles all at once. “She wouldn’t go MIA without telling me first.”

abrielle’s eyes rolled into the back of her head as he continued to do EXACTLY what she had just told him NOT to.❝ jesus christ,❞ the blonde scowled beneath her breath, combing irritated fingers through tendrils of flaxen hair and releasing an exasperated sigh. ❝ dark hair older girl named DEMI- got it, whatever. who the hell is that, anyways??❞  then, with realization, she looked up and squinted her eyes; ❝  ──and who the hell are YOU?? ❞  

[pillsandpompoms-blog]

As she arrived at Brielle, Payson’s high was finally wearing down. Once her family told her she was to be sent to this insane asylum, she knew better than to make a run for it… at least she could get high on the way there. But now, she was finally forced to take in reality. She looked pretty put together for an addict checking into rehab, and although that was the norm for her, it was already becoming obvious that she stood out and didn’t quite fit in here. Slinging her small bag over her shoulder, Payson entered the rest of the building, and no sooner did a kid whiz by her shouting random words and flailing his arms. She stopped in her tracks, eyes questioning what had just happened, visibly confused. Was this some sort of weird, bad trip? 

“Jesus….” she said under her breath, “we’re not in Kansas anymore…”. What side of a twisted rainbow had she been forced to venture over now?

[ofencvmbrance]

abrielle had be seated against the northern wall, her one, pathetic-looking duffle bag at her side, left elbow resting on it as she tried, with little success, to navigate the small mobile device she had been given since arriving. was it a phone?? was it a trap?? christ. she had been here t-minus two fucking hours and she already felt the CRAZY seeping into her skin like some kind of shitty, lumpy-ass lotion she had stollen from a dollar store one time. and, surprise surprise, a kid came flying down the corridor with noodle arms waving like flags of war above his head; was that ENGLISH he was screaming?? sure as hell didn’t sound like it.  abrielle watched with furrowed brows, eyes rolling shortly afterwards before she noticed another blonde walking into the building. the look on her face made abrielle feel a tad bit better; it seems she wasn’t the only one taken aback by this whack ass shit.  ❝ the CRAZY caught you too?? ❞ she joked, ungracefully shoving her device into the bag.   ❝ ──  don’t worry, i don’t know what’s going on either. i just got here this morning. the kid isn’t even the WORST of what i’ve seen, already. i’m abrielle, call me bri or ellie or ANYTHING but my full name.❞ 

[ofencvmbrance]

❝ ──  look, i’ve been dragged from one SHITHOLE to the next. i’m bouncin’ around like a fuckin’ kangaroo on crack and my head has been consistently pulsing for the past forty eight hours. all i’m asking you to do is CALM DOWN, shut up, and leave me alone for like two goddamn seconds so i can get my thoughts together and process WHATEVER the hell it was you just said to me. ❞  

[rachbtw]

[thegoodvybe]

[thegoodvybe]

[ihavelostmyheadagain]

[ihavelostmyheadagain]

Credit: @thegirlisgrunge