@officernightwing - Tumblr Blog

i just kinda automatically think of all my mutuals as my age but then one person will mention getting married and having a baby and another will mention going into their junior year of high school and i’m like wait what

writersloth-old-deactivated2021

Mutual 1: my husband bought me roses today!!

Me: your what

Mutual 2: *gets an ask that congratulates them with their 14th birthday*

Me: you’re what

heartshapedglassesandbubblegums

A: I don’t think I’m worth all this

B, already advancing: Bold words for someone in the hugging range

jaubaius

It belongs in a museum,I think

tree-of-blue-squirrel

i don´t know what i expected but the reality was 10 times better

memehumor

Not an easy decision

deitycyla

They often swap 😌✨

ayrennaranaaldmeri

amanitacaplan

stefon-rneyers

leona-florianova

He’s your teacher, but he’s my best friend

sixpenceee

From @dgrieshnak ‘spotted Malabar civet - a critically endangered mammal not seen since the 90’s resurfaces during the lockdown.’

katie-mcgrath

Is it all right to hit a Nazi unprovoked?

cybermax

Saw this and had to add.

excuseme-howdareyou

Batfam as things my parents have said:

•Tim: Bruce, which one us was the feral child growing up?

Bruce: All of you. Every single one of you was a feral child.

•Bruce, breaking the law: Do as I say, not as I do.

•Bruce: I gave up any pretense of any of you having any sense of self preservation a long time ago. Do you remember when Jason built a zip line from the roof to the far tree? And not even a good zip line. He used rope! Weak ass rope that broke the instant he put any weight on it, and we had to rush him to the hospital for a broken leg.

Tim: Yeah, but then he built a better one.

Bruce: And then you crashed into a tree because none of you thought of how you'd stop.

•Bruce, going 15mph over the speed limit: Do as I say, not as I do. Don't speed.

•Dick: How many years do you think having us as kids has taken off your life?

Bruce: The 5th Amendment states I cannot answer that.

•Bruce, to Duke: Duke, you don't give me heart attacks every other week. You are night and day from your siblings. For the love of God, please stay that way.

•Alfred: I swear, if I walk into that kitchen and smell old milk sitting in a bowl in the sink one more time-

Tim: *jumps over couch to get to kitchen before Alfred can get there first*

•Bruce: Kombucha? This is a Coffee Family.

•Dick: Which kid is your favorite?

Bruce: Which day of the week is it?

•Jason: What are you going to do when you have more kids then there are days of the week?

Bruce: Days of the month then

•Bruce: I have too many kids.

Jason: So stop having/adopting so many kids.

Bruce: No.