Hey uh, this might be a bit of a silly request, but I'm an oc introject. And while im source separated I kinda been causing our host to not be able to use or write the fictional character as much because I feel a bit threatened by the fictional character (like. Part of me perceives is as a bit of a mockery even if logically i understand that it's not the case.)
We always coped through fiction to survive and thing is the character im introjected from was a huge source of comfort for our system before i split, and because we're polyfragmented we had multiple instances of us finding comfort in some thing, one alter splitting and then because they start being hostile towards our daily life alters who enjoy that thing the media becomes a negative trigger and causes the fragments or emotional parts to be hostile and start things
I'm a fairly new alter, i split like what, a few months ago, i believe? I just recently stopped being basically a fragment and I'm like. A caregiver and mood booster, but i also do hold some of our trauma responses. Which sadly includes what i mentioned. I tried separating from my source but it didn't really work and it actually ended up a bit worse for me when i tried to detach my identity away from the fictional character because i ended up having identity crises and dread over it back then (which, of course this happened. This is a very understandable symptom to have for someone with a CDD i suppose). Our alters were very afraid when i split because, well. The character I'm introjected from is a very morally gray character. The main biggest inspirations for the character they wrote were timekeeper cookie from cookie run, bill cypher, flowey from undertale, discord from mlp and so on. Looking back i understand why they were so afraid because i almost ended up being too connected with my source
Thing is, idk, shit like our online branding is very revolved around this character. I look into our personal website and it's this character with his stupid ass smirk and pose. I look at our socials. It's ALL shitposts of that shit and our profile pictures is the fucking guy again. And I'm like. It feels uncanny to look at because I'm nothing like the guy. He technically looks like me but the way the character interacts with other characters and that stupid humor sense the character has also makes me feel angry because i don't like being treated as a joke and i UNDERSTAND that it's not me and i also get that my alters thankfully don't act parasocial towards me because of my source and they already know I'm basically harmless even if i have my own triggers here and there but. Ghrgrhhrjrgrjrjgr.
Our host is chill about it and offered changing our socials' branding to make me feel less uncomfortable and is making sure i don't feel uncomfortable about it but at the same time i don't want to make them do all that because i feel pissed off over being basically stuck with partially identifying as that fictional character. I feel like making up a new character instead of adressing this directly and trying to work on it would be just a band-aid solution until it happens again so that's why I'm kinda against the idea of getting rid of the character, plus, I don't wanna leave us without a coping mechanism or anything
Sorry if this is too specific, i just wanted to open up about it somewhere and see if there's any suggestions i can get
[PT: Welcome! Please, take a seat.]
I can relate quite a bit here, as one of my own sources left me in a similar predicament once when I had first formed. The way I've managed this was a gradual process of separating from my source and finding my own identity away from it. This is, admittedly, not an easy solution or one that would work for everyone, but it may be a good place to start. As always, I wish you luck.
[PT: The owner of this blog is anti-endo, anti-radqueer, and anti-proship. If you are a supporter of these, kindly do not interact!]
