Hello. We are a polyfragmented system, i believe its relevant information to bring up in this ask because i believe it helps explain why we function the way we do
we struggle with most tools designed for systems because they don't really adjust to our needs, trying to constantly be hyper aware of who's fronting and who's co-conscious always ends up giving us headches and makes our symptoms worse. and since we usually tend to have parts influecing us or being somewhat conscious in the background while still unaware of what's happening or what we're doing it always becomes way too much to keep up with so we end up not even being able to trach anything
with our communication we have days where we only can communicate internally when we focus and when we find something that we feel like might help we always forget that we can actually use those tools so we never end up using them
We also have this thing where we front in either pairs or like small groups right? If the alter in front stays in the front but the alter co-conscious goes away and another alter or two come in to be co-conscious we tend to have gaps in our memory and kinda zone out because of it so it really sucks
and like, idk, It feels so isolating that so many tools that other systems reccomend and use every day straight up don't work for us because of the way we function, because tracking every single thing would be impossible, headaches from trying to be constantly aware of whats happening innour system which i mentioned earlier, and also the amnesia getting in our way. I get that systems are not a one size fits all thing, which is fine, but it is a problem when most tools are designed for people like you but won't work with you specifically because of your symptoms manifesting themselves in a way where these tools are not worth trying out. These tools are designed with a one size fits all approach
so yeah im trying to ask for advice on some ideas on what to do and like alternatives and stuff, would really appreciate it
Sorry if anything doesn't make sense or if there are any typos, I'm mentally exhausted and i cant get myself to read and reread over and over again to see if it makes sense (i already did that a couple times but i feel like its not enough and i also had times where i had things that slipped under my radar). If there's anything we need to clarify or explain further please tell us
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I'd suggest perhaps focusing less on what individual parts are fronting and focusing more on your symptoms and emotional states. You might keep a list of parts to help with unblurring or simply archival purposes, but that doesn't mean you have to track who specifically is fronting.
While we do enjoy tracking certain individual parts' influence, it can be very hard at times. We've mentioned having a "blurry" custom front in another post, but we also have some based just on what we call "personas." These are general ~vibes~ of the current fronter(s) and can be marked in place of or alongside individual parts.
Much of our communication between fronters is done out loud for similar reasons to what you've described... External modes of communication are easy to forget about if they're out of sight. Sticky notes help us with remembering most tasks, but most communication between fronters and co-fronters is out loud or in our head. Only a few of us have semi-permanent communication between front and our innerworld.
And if it's any consolation: my own system functions in a similar way. Your experience is shared with many others as well, even if it seems less common.
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