nick: i love you
taylor: is that you or the vodka talking?
nick: it’s me talking to the vodka

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@ogwqlfstar
nick: i love you
taylor: is that you or the vodka talking?
nick: it’s me talking to the vodka
leah, about martin: hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you ?
simon:
leah: because it sounds like he sucks and i will totally kill that guy for you
abby: i would never say that my girlfriend’s a bitch and that i don’t like her.
abby: my girlfriend is a bitch and i like her SO. MUCH.
abby: leah’s a 5’2 slytherin bitch and she’s the best.
leah: i’d date you.
abby: what ?
leah: I SAID I HATE YOU
martin: *gets hurt*
leah: that’s sad alexa play despacito
simon: help me with this crossword puzzle. i need a six letter word for disappointment.
leah: martin.
simon:
simon: it fits.
leah: you packed condoms?
nick: we don’t know how long we’re gonna be stuck here. we might have to repopulate the earth.
leah: and condoms are the way to do that?
abby: leah, you’re in charge of selling the raffle tickets for the fair fundraiser.
leah: i’m your woman
abby: i need you to not yell at the customers-
leah: ...i’m kind of your woman
abby: and you need to smile.
leah:
leah: you need a new woman
simon: did abby say what she had ? because my throats been hurting.
leah: menstural cramps.
simon:
simon: i don’t think that’s what this is.
simon: it’s just a moo point.
abby: a moo point?
simon: yeah. it’s like a cow’s opinion. it doesn’t matter. it’s moo.
abby, to leah: have i been hanging out with him too much or did that all just make sense?
simon: if corals get stressed they die.
leah: so if i were a coral i’d be dead.
abby: what do corals even get stressed about?
nick: current events.
leah: get out.
bram: why is simon on the table?
nick: he likes to be tall
bram: my boyfriend must be top of the line, graceful, organized-
simon: hi, i’m sim- *drops oreo container* shit- *trips over it while trying to pick it up* fuck, i’m so so- *slips on a rogue oreo & face plants onto the floor, causing abby & leah to trip over him*
bram: i want that one
leah: the glass is half-empty.
abby: i think the glass is half-full
leah: i think you’re full of shit
simon: so what’s it like dating leah?
abby: once, i asked her for a water while she was pissed at me, and she brought me a glass of ice and said “wait”
abby: leah was complaining about the price of peanut butter at the snooty grocery store & i said “yeah it’s nuts” and now she won’t answer my texts
nick: i need you to be straight with me
leah, glancing at simon & abby: that’s going to be extremely difficult for everyone here