All The Bad Puns

A collection of my terrible puns, jokes, and pickup lines.

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Why did the heifer go to college? Because they want to be an accowtant.

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What’s the most magical type of boat? A ferry.

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Why didn’t the pilot want an everything bagel? Cause they prefer them plain.

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Why couldn’t the orca eat the seal? It had seal-iac disease.

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Why can’t you use Pacific sand dollars in the Atlantic? Cause they’re not the right current-sea.

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What did one conifer say to the other when they had a crush? I’m pining after you.

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Why was the rebel single? Because they were revolting.

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Why did the botanist get a tree tattoo on their hand? Because they wanted a palm tree.

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How do farmers ask someone out? They start by planting seeds.

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What did the botanist do to keep from being cold? They got a fern-ace.

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What size bra does Ariel wear?

A C-shell

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How to get a date this Halloween: tell a girl she’s bewitching.

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Why’s it so hard to find a parking spot at a space station? Cause they’re outer space.

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What did the botanist buy for their new home? Ferniture.

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Are you a fruit? Cause I think you’re pretty grape.

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Ducks are funny, they really quack me up.

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You gotta be careful with high heels. They always keep you on your toes.