Spite And Sheer Luck

Non-binary Gothamite | call me Riley | 19 | Superstitious Theater Kid | I piss off local villains occasionally | profile pic: https://picrew.me/image_maker/332600 | Mod is 18+

[ohfuckitsriley]

This bat is going to get me fired oh gods oh fuck

[ohfuckitsriley]

I've got him on the ropes 🦇 Wish me luck

[ohfuckitsriley]

I think I broke him

[ohfuckitsriley]

The long awaited update

[tlmtwelve]

So, I'm using this pose as a reference for a sketch and ... those are birthday candles on his belt, right? I mean, they look just like birthday cake candles. I don't know what else they could be.

Or have I completely lost my mind?

[ohfuckitsriley]

Those are painted pen caps!

[ohfuckitsriley]

A REAL FUCKING INTERACTION BETWEEN ME AND SOME RANDOM ASS ON TIKTOK?!! OH FUCK NO DONT PLAY WITH A GOTHAMITE ABOUT BRUCE FUCKING WAYNE

TIM WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU I WENT TO YOUR OFFICE AND YOU WEREN'T THERE

[ohfuckitsriley]

Ya know, the one thing I miss about living Metropolis is Superman. He is such a good guy.

I worked at Luthorcorp while I was there (unfortunately), and one day, I had just a horrible day. Just laid flat on my back on the grass in the park just staring up at the sky.

This dude, this guy in trunks, fucking hops over to me, and asks if I'm alright. And then he got me a goddamn hot cocoa because I wasn't, and he sat with me for like, 10 minutes, and we just chatted.

And then he had to go stop an asteroid from crashing into Earth.

Thanks, dude, you're a real one.

Hot cocoa is my go-to comfort drink now.

[ohfuckitsriley]

So I have another cat now

Ive been feeding him when he comes by, and now he's sleeping with Omen.

[ohfuckitsriley]

LMFAO VIGILANTE BEEF HAPPENING RIGHT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW!!

Red Hood just called Nightwing a dick, this is hilarious. I don't know what they're arguing about, but I heard that LOUD AND CLEAR.

[duchess-of-dilemma]

Whats with everyone calling Nightwing a dick?

[ohfuckitsriley]

I have no clue. He's only terrifying to criminals, he's been incredibly sweet the few times I've met him, I'm not seeing how he's a dick

[ohfuckitsriley]

LMFAO VIGILANTE BEEF HAPPENING RIGHT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW!!

Red Hood just called Nightwing a dick, this is hilarious. I don't know what they're arguing about, but I heard that LOUD AND CLEAR.

[see-ceci]

Ohhh my god that's beautiful-

Think you can get a clip?

[ohfuckitsriley]

By the time I started recording, they were moving away 😭

I did hear Nightwing say that he's "reporting this to Batman" but he said it in such a way that it sounded like he was gonna go tattle on Red Hood? And then Red Hood said "DON'T YOU DARE" so I think I'm right on the money there.

Batfam doing fam things instead of just bat things 🤧 it warms my heart it really does

[ohfuckitsriley]

LMFAO VIGILANTE BEEF HAPPENING RIGHT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW!!

Red Hood just called Nightwing a dick, this is hilarious. I don't know what they're arguing about, but I heard that LOUD AND CLEAR.

[gothamiiz]

guy at the store misgendering me like it's his duty

[ohfuckitsriley]

I have a baseball bat. Which store, which guy?

[gothamiiz]

I do not condone violence but this guy is .testing me

[ohfuckitsriley]

Let me at 'im.

[gothamiiz]

Sorry I think they already took ...care of him? But if you see him you have my consent to beat him up ☝️

[ohfuckitsriley]

Hell yeah

[gothamiiz]

guy at the store misgendering me like it's his duty

[ohfuckitsriley]

I have a baseball bat. Which store, which guy?

[gothamiiz]

I do not condone violence but this guy is .testing me

[ohfuckitsriley]

Let me at 'im.

[gothamiiz]

guy at the store misgendering me like it's his duty

[ohfuckitsriley]

I have a baseball bat. Which store, which guy?

[ohfuckitsriley]

Ayo, the Flash is fucking missing?! Central City, Team Flash, are you guys okay???!

[ohfuckitsriley]

Thoughts and prayers for Batman. He's not dead or anything, but he has to deal with not just this city's bullshit, but with the antics of his vigilante children.

Says someone who is presently babysitting Sword Robin because he broke in to pet my cat and my bat, and has since fallen asleep with my cat on his lap and my bat just flopped on top of his head.

Batman, come get your son, please, I have to go to work.

And make sure he gets enough sleep, the little dude is OUT.

[ohfuckitsriley]

Me, calling in to work: Hey Doc, I'm sorry, I'm not gonna be able to make it in today.

Doc Langstrom: Oh? Why not?

Me:

Me: Ah, well, you see, a uhh friend of mine surprised me, and now I'm babysitting his kid last minute.

Doc L: Well, can't you find anyone else to watch them?

Me, pulling words out of my ass: That would be difficult considering that this child has an ungodly amount of anxiety. And anger issues to boot.

Doc L: Well, can you bring them with you to work?

Me:

Me: No, he's afraid of bats.

[ohfuckitsriley]

Batman gave me $2,000 for babysitting Sword Robin 🧍

[ohfuckitsriley]

Thoughts and prayers for Batman. He's not dead or anything, but he has to deal with not just this city's bullshit, but with the antics of his vigilante children.

Says someone who is presently babysitting Sword Robin because he broke in to pet my cat and my bat, and has since fallen asleep with my cat on his lap and my bat just flopped on top of his head.

Batman, come get your son, please, I have to go to work.

And make sure he gets enough sleep, the little dude is OUT.

[ohfuckitsriley]

Me, calling in to work: Hey Doc, I'm sorry, I'm not gonna be able to make it in today.

Doc Langstrom: Oh? Why not?

Me:

Me: Ah, well, you see, a uhh friend of mine surprised me, and now I'm babysitting his kid last minute.

Doc L: Well, can't you find anyone else to watch them?

Me, pulling words out of my ass: That would be difficult considering that this child has an ungodly amount of anxiety. And anger issues to boot.

Doc L: Well, can you bring them with you to work?

Me:

Me: No, he's afraid of bats.

[ohfuckitsriley]

Thoughts and prayers for Batman. He's not dead or anything, but he has to deal with not just this city's bullshit, but with the antics of his vigilante children.

Says someone who is presently babysitting Sword Robin because he broke in to pet my cat and my bat, and has since fallen asleep with my cat on his lap and my bat just flopped on top of his head.

Batman, come get your son, please, I have to go to work.

And make sure he gets enough sleep, the little dude is OUT.

[mackthecheesy]

made a uquiz

[mackthecheesy]

here it is! it’s romeo and juliet themed lol

[mackthecheesy]

“Jesus christ man what the FUCK” - my brother

glad you all enjoy it :3

[ohfuckitsriley]

@submititselftogravity

Brace yourself bestie

[ohfuckitsriley]

Wait a minute. So I used to work at LexCorp. I was a fucking intern, but I used to work there. Lex Luthor, may he have the day he deserves, is a fucking Super-Man rogue.

Am I an ex-goon? Can I join the Goon Union?