...

tries to be aesthetic and relatable but is really just annoying

[jonnovstheinternet]

[antiteen]

remember when zayn was like “Z016🙌🏽👏🏽” and then did literally nothing groundbreaking the entire year

[blackmodel]

NDNKDKEJDJKDKDD

[jumex]

Me

[inactiveblogger-deactivated2018]

me learning a language: wow! this is so easy!

verb conjugation:

[onlytwitterpics]

[grimeclown]

 “hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?”

“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”

“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’

“uuuuuh hold on”

*fishes something out of my pocket*

“mikey what do i do?”

“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”

*stuffs it back in my pocket*

“uhh yes please  the meal would be great”

[texcritterspizzajamboree]

serious question: can anyone else see this post? am I hallucinating?

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

scientist: hey dad, I discovered a new spider today! and I named it after you

dad: thanks son! I really needed this today, the boys at work were making fun of my long legs again. what did you call it? :)

scientist: uh…

[weaksorry]

every time i fall for someone new i’m just like ok. what lesson will come out of this this time

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[ohheyitme]

*alien starts abducting me with their spaceship*

Me: woah woah woah. Hold on. Let me ask my mom about this first.

Alien: that's okay, take your time.

Me: thanks. *shouts* MOM, CAN I GET ABDUCTED BY THIS ALIEN?!?!

Mom: *shouts back* YEA SURE, JUST BE BACK BEFORE DINNER!!

Me: aight man. She said it's cool.

Alien: cool

[onlytwitterpics]

[penisennui]

[livinmokotory]

adhdalistair:

penisennui:

(via Justin Jorgensen) “In 2007 I worked with photographers Williams + Hirakawa to create a concept piece of me sleeping on a sheet cake. I though these cakes looked like pillows, and there’s the obvious play on ‘sweet dreams.’

I wondered if I could fall asleep on a cake and have sweet dreams. I didn’t. It was pretty gross really and wasn’t easy to wash off.

A few years later, outtakes from the shoot were sold to Getty Images as stock photos. I didn’t know this until 2011 when one of those photos made #13 on the wildly popular Buzzffed.com list of “60 Completely Unusable Stock Photos.”

Into 2014, the Getty Image photo continues to make the rounds on Facebook and Tumblr.”

[skylorde]

i can’t believe i leveled up enough to unlock cake pillow guy’s backstory

[coelasquid]

I can’t believe the “sweet dreams” joke didn’t occur to me

[bai-xue]

Someone buy this man a beer

[thenatsdorf]

[vegyta-deactivated20181007]

Sometimes I’m like “I wish I was pretty like that” but I’m pretty like me so who cares

[ruinedchildhood]

[khanos-deactivated20220729]

stfuuuu lmfaoo

[volcainist]

im on the floor

[hanukkahlewinsky]

parents: “let’s talk about your future"