occasionally subtle
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PR's Tumblrdome
ojovivo
$LAYYYTER
Interview Vampire Daily
cherry valley forever

Andulka

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Misplaced Lens Cap

Origami Around
Sade Olutola
TMBGareOK. The Official They Might Be Giants tumblr
EXPECTATIONS
Cosmic Funnies

titsay
h
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Cosimo Galluzzi
hello vonnie

seen from Guatemala
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@ohmylordapineapple
The camera is close up on Shane as a reporter asks him how he feels about joining the Centaurs. He talks about how excited he is for their first game and how happy he is to be home and among good people.
The reporter then asks how Rozanov feels about it.
âOh he hates it. He complains all the time. Keeps telling me to go back to Montreal where I belong. That Iâm bringing the team down with my bad energy-â
As heâs speaking, the camera is slowly panning out to show Ilya, arms wrapped around Shaneâs waist, nodding along with a massive dopey grin on his face.
one day a rookie is gonna flirt with yuna hollander not knowing who she is. her response will be "oh i'm flattered but you are young enough to be my son who, by the way, will KICK YOUR ASS in this next game." and during the game he will get slammed into the boards at approximately the speed of sound.
đśFor his own protection! Milford Watkins!đľ
masochism everywhere for those with the eyes to see
ilya version
we named it the computer mouse because it fit so comfortably in our hands and it reminded us of ancient times where our ancestors put their palms over the backs of cave mice and shuffled them across the ground to move the cursor on their cave wall mounted gaming monitors
Oh, okay. I see. You think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select out, oh I donât know, that gaslight gatekeep girlboss meme, for instance, because youâre trying to tell the world that you think modern feminism has been co-opted by corporations. But what you donât know is that that meme is not from Instagram, it's not from Twitter, it's not from Tiktok, itâs actually from Tumblr. Youâre also blithely unaware of the fact that in January 2021, Tumblr user missnumber1111 posted, "today's agenda: gaslight gatekeep and most importantly girlboss." And then I think it was a-m-e-t-h-y-s-t-r-o-s-e, wasnât it, who reblogged it with an image of the phrase edited over a piece of "Live, Laugh, Love" wall art? And then gaslight gatekeep girlboss showed up in the feeds of eight different Twitter repost accounts. Then it filtered down through Instagram and then trickled on down into some tragic âalt side of Tiktokâ where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that meme represents millions of notes and countless Tumblr users and so itâs sort of comical how you think that youâve made a choice that exempts you from Tumblr when, in fact, youâre wearing the meme that was selected for you by the people in this room. From a pile of âstuff.â
I swear this is how I feel every time I see a Tumblr screenshot out in the wild
a very happy hr season 2 filming day to all who celebrate
A cat is a machine that turns proteins into violence.
#Helios was declawed by his former owners so he doesn't just slap things he dislikes like most cats#he really only feels confident in hissing at them#Especially because a lot of the thing he doesn't like are bugs and those are sharp sometimes :(#Selene has figured this out and now when she hears him hiss she sprints over the kill the fuck out of the bug#Helios has learned she will do this so he'll hiss at stuff louder and louder until she hears him#A nervous old man and his emotional support homicidal maniac tags by @gallusrostromegalus
I couldn't reblog without the tags because the context is hilarious
A Nervous Old Man (right) and his Emotional Support Violence Machine (Left)
Yes, he is more than twice her size. Yes, he is five times her age. Yes, he cries like a big baby until she kills Unacceptable Scary Things (earwigs) for him.
I couldn't get these two and their dynamic out of my head, @gallusrostromegalus I doodled them (guessed on their collars)
OH MY GOD MY CATS HAVE FANART
The Raiders are sitting in the airport lounge, waiting for their flight to board after their game against Montreal. And right accross from them is one of those big posters from Shane's Reebok campagne. Ilya is playing a game on his phone (no, it's not to distract him from the giant Shane Hollander picture right in front of him, obviously not). Meanwhile Cliff looks at the Reeboks - they do look kinda nice, he has to admit - and then down to his own sneakers, which are a bit ratty and he could defnitely do with buying a new pair. And he's thinking about how convenient it must be to be sponsored by a shoe brand because it saves you the hassle of having to reaplace your old shoes. Hollander probably gets sent a new pair every couple of months whether he needs them or not. And wouldn't that be amazing.
"Maybe I should pull a Hollander", Cliff mutters to himself, thinking about how to best get an Adidas or Nike sponsorship or something.
Next to him Ilya almost gives himself whiplash with how fast his head snaps up and he barely manages to not drop his phone because Cliff what do you mean pull a Hollander there are no Hollanders to pull, Yuna and David are happily married and Shane is his boyfriend Cliff which Hollander are you trying to pull here-
me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: đ¤¤
the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup
Going back on my Cliff Marleau/Jane bullshit from a couple of posts ago:
Marleau having a one night stand with a puck bunny and he doesnât ask her name until the next morning and she just kind of smirks and says âJane. Tell Rozanov I said hi.â Cliff just turns white as a ghost and has a total meltdown thinking he just slept with his best friendâs girlfriend.
He acts weird for weeks before Ilya snaps at him to tell him whatâs going on and he just shouts âI SLEPT WITH JANE!â and then immediately cowers. Like fully fetal position covering his face in case Roz started immediately wailing on him.
Ilyaâs like ââŚwhatâ and asks a couple of clarifying questions and once he realizes his friend did not in fact sleep with Shane he laughs so loudly the room shakes and Cliff is just kind of staring at him with tears in his eyes and a relieved watery smile.
Need to investigate the flooding situation on my dash lately
relationships and jobs are temporary. your shitty unpopular tumblr blog is forever
Intelligent alien species based on bugs but specifically those moths that donât have mouths and only live for a week after they pupate. This speciesâ whole conscious life is actually in the larval phase; larvae are the ones considered people, larvae are the ones with conscious and complex brains who build society, and each instar of the larva is treated as a different phase of life. Larvae become emotionally and socially and cognitively mature without ever becoming sexually mature. When they pupate, they metamorphose into something different and strange and close to mindless, with no mouth and no digestive system, whose only instincts are to mate and then quickly die. Metamorphosis is treated, functionally, like a personâs death, and the imago phase is a kind of proto-afterlife of majestic flight and the continuation of the species. Birth and death inextricably intertwined. Sex is not something people do during their lives, itâs a thing that is done as an imago after youâve passed on from your life but before you return to the soil in death. Resultant eggs are collected by family members to raise. I think this would be fun.
Ilya is used to carrying babies and small children in his arms. Because he used to hold his niece in his arms (though that became less frequent with each summer he went back to Russia) and he's babysat the Pikelings a handful of times now, so yes he knows to support a babie's head and can carry around a toddler no problem.
Cue Ilya making a rare appearance at Bood's Barbeque because it's the team's chance to meet little Milo for the first time. Everyone congratulates the parents and oohs and aaws at Milo. Cue Bood asking "anyone want to hold him?"
And Ilya is the first to volunteer, already reaching out his hands. And Bood, like any new parent, starts the "Alright here we go, now be careful to support the head-" only to trail off because Ilya does not need any help. For some strange reason, Ilya fucking Rozanov is a pro at holding a baby, murmuring to him in Russian swaying him softly in his arms.
The Groupchat ("CenBros NO CAP") goes wild because how the fuck is Rozy so good with babies. And then one of the rookies is like "maybe he has a baby??" and at first everyone scoffs because, hello. This is Ilya Rozanov we're talking about.
On second thought, though.
Ilya did move to Ottawa seemingly out of nowhere.
He did buy a house in the suburbs.
He is strangely secretive about who he's texting all the time.
He is skipping almost every team event.
Suddenly it all makes sense. Ilya has a girlfriend (wife??) and he moved to Ottawa for her so that they could raise their child together. And of course he's almost never attending a team outing or leaving early, he has a child at home! Of course he's secretive about it, Ottawa or not he's still Ilya fucking Rozanov, papped every second day. It only makes sense that he'd want to protect the identiy of his girlfriend (wife??) and child.
The final piece of evidence is overheard by Holmberg and Young on a random Thurday after practice. Ilya clearly hasn't noticed them as he walks to his car, a fond smile on his face and obviously focused on his phone call. "Goodnight, I miss you very much. I will be home soon", he says. It's followed by laughter and Ilya adding that "Yes, of course is necessary! I have been away all day, my daughter must hear me say goodnight to her."
Holmberg and Young (standing next to Young's car and therefore hidden from Ilya's view) stare at each other with open mouths and wide eyes. Because holy fucking shit Rozy just confirmed he has a daughter?? And based on the conversation also a girlfriend/wife??
Meanwhile Shane, who patiently sat next to where Anya was curled up on the couch with his phone on speaker so that Ilya could tell her goodnight, is happily talking with Ilya about what to cook for dinner.