[classicnaturalblues-blog]

“ Wow, that could have been handled differently, ” he said, responding with the same level sarcasm that was handed to him.

Still, Leo took the board from him with a raised eye brow. He shook his head.

“ I can honestly tell you that this isn’t mine. I didn’t order this… “ Trying to hand the board back, unsigned, he squinted at the face in front of him. “ Is that…glitter? ”

[ohshxit-blog]

‘ Look–– I’m not UPS. I can’t just take this back to UPS headquarters and have them ship it to the right person. Some person might’ve miswrote the address, or whatever. But, trust me, buddy this courier business is pretty direct. Not a lot of room for error. Someone wants you to have this, so you–– ‘ 

He suddenly realizes the tail end of what the stranger’s said. Wipes at the side of his face, mouth catching up with his brain, exasperation practically seeping out with a sigh, 

‘ Partner’s really into Highlighter. Doesn’t matter. ‘  

[embrosius]

ohshxit​

                                              Yeah, ok, he has a good excuse as to why the                                               cute delivery boy’s picture is in his wallet – you                                               know what, scratch that, he doesn’t.

[ohshxit-blog]

So. Okay, this is a thing.  Upon closer inspection this is on inkjet paper.  He holds the wallet closer to his face, ( short of pressing it against his forehead ) as if he can extract SOME KIND of information from this by virtue of osmosis. 

                  ‘ I didn’t know you even had a printer ‘

[mw-archive]

embrosius & ohshxit | this

          He’s  nosy  and he  wants  to            see exactly how this plays out.

[ohshxit-blog]

          ‘ ... ‘           Maybe ‘exactly’ is a bit of wishful thinking           on the twelve-year-old-or-however-old-this-           infant-is’ part. The devil is in the details, as           they say. Or was it the explicit queer af sex           is in the details ?

[ohshxit-blog]

"Lose my job? I didn't lose it. It's not like, 'Whoops! Where'd my job go?' I QUIT."

“Well! On the bright side, this opens up a whole range of opportunities you never had before! Likegiving me the creepy death stare between the hours of nine AM and five PM on weekdays.

Whereas before, that kind of torment was just absolutely impossible.“ 

[les-rallizes-denudes-deactivate]

“Watching Harry Potter is serious business to me ok”

[jestershark]

Things That Interest Me: How memes align really well with germ theory and infectious diseases. Like okay some memes are the more virulent kind, like, for example, the breadsticks meme. 

ok you have the patient zero, or this post; it remains relatively benign until June, where it gets its first contact with a high risk post. From there, the number of outbreaks grow exponentially; ravaging through the fandom communities, with each group getting at least a dozen smaller variations. Then, the meme enters its final, most virulent stages, dubbed the “surreal meme stages;” takes on the meme itself. this is the signal that the meme is being analyzed and is therefore on its way out. the movement from the Fandom to the Surreal stage is usually rapid, within a day. The rapid death of the meme means that it can’t infect other people so quickly, which means it dies out, with only small bursts of activity in isolated incidents.

This is compared to memes like Pepe, which are more benign, and therefore have more staying power, much like the common cold.

[ohshxit-blog]

embrosius replied to your post: "Sometimes I worry that you're just a really great...

wHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FU CK

[lichestr-deactivated20151025]

          he’s got the jitters, she’s just getting over the adrenaline rush that comes with being hit by a bike. she can’t know what’s going on in his head, so she’s hoping he isn’t worried about her suing him or something. she’s relieved, at the least, that the bike wasn’t going to have any lasting damage, even more relieved when he goes and fixes it. whether he’s without a car, or he’s just taking the wheeler out for a spin, she’s been in this situation (usually with inanimate things, like walls), so she can empathize with this, to a degree.

               ‘ good. ’

     she has a hand pressed to the side of her neck, but at his question, it drops, so she can dig around in her pocket. and, luck will have it, she has a sharpie! as soon as she grabs a hold of it, she holds it out to him. ‘ — this work? ’

[ohshxit-blog]

A smirk, like those half flicks pencilled onto cartoon characters’ cheeks. Come to think of it, this is probably the first time he’s smiled at all during this whole mess. Goes to show the power of deadlines. He takes the marker, nods a moment, 

“Perfect,” he presses the paper to his thigh, begins scribbling, “This is for your ipod. I jailbreak phones and I know this guy who does screen and hardware replacement. His number’s at the top,” He scratches a final flourish to the note, “and mine’s at the bottom. You know. For solidarity’s sake.” 

He hands the grocery receipt to her, along with her sharpie. 

“I’d stick around, but if I don’t get this human fecal sample to a west end lab in––” cue watch check, “––10 minutes, I don’t get commission plus I’m literally stuck with shit. So.” 

[ohshxit-blog]

"Sometimes I worry that you're just a really great dream."

accepting »» sentence meme

Oh, he’s thought about this before, that Merlin’s too vivid to be real. As if saturation of had some direct correlation to hallucination. 

The better part of Felix hoped, nearly prayed at night to the godless void that he’dmatch up, that he’d somehow be good enough in return. Those nights when there are too many jobs and too many classes. When Felix walks through Merlin’s door and can’t even bother changing before falling to bed. Those same, late nights when Merlin asks to set his head against Felix’s chest and doesn’t kick up a fuss when Felix says no. Maybe this is the void’s answer to those bad nights,when the only good thing is Merlin.

                    “ I’m thoroughly convinced that you’re not real,                       so that makes us both fictitious. ” 

[ohshxit-blog]

"No, no -- Go back to sleep."

"How long before the kids go to college and we have time for ourselves again?"

"My mum/dad died."

"Lose my job? I didn't lose it. It's not like, 'Whoops! Where'd my job go?' I QUIT."

"Drink up. Whiskey’s God’s way of letting us know he loves us and he wants us to be happy."

"Maybe we didn't raise him/her the way we should have. Maybe we went wrong somewhere."

"No, don't just say you're fine. Where's the doctor? Let me go speak to the doctor."

"Shush, it's fine. They won't hear us."

"I like your ass."

"What the hell have you been smoking?

"Do we need anything else, d'you think? Do we still have milk at home?"

"Do people really fall for that line?"

"Stop it. Stop crying. You're going to make me cry -- Goddamn it."

"Wait, did you just call me 'honey'? We just met."

"Sometimes I worry that you're just a really great dream."

"Fuck, I told you not to leave any hickeys."

"What are you smiling about?"

"Shouldn't you get that? What if it's important?"

"You're really killing the mood."

"What happened to 'we should never go to bed angry at each other'? Talk to me."

"Be careful when you let our baby sleep in our bed, okay? Don't crush him/her."

"I don't care what happens to be, don't you get it? I don't care if I live or die."

"Jesus Christ, take it easy next time. Look at these nail marks."

"You're so fucking immature, you know that? I don't know how I can stand you."

"It's not that I don't trust you, I don't trust him/her."

"I don't know whether to interpret that as a good thing, or a bad thing."

"I mean it. Just say the word, and I'll kill him."

"I told you I didn't want kids when we first got married! We're not negotiating my uterus."

"You broke my heart. Now you want to be 'friends'?"

"Come on, jump. I dare you."

"Zip me up."

"Tell me about your dream."

"Wake up. You don't want to sleep all night on the couch, do you? C'mon, come to bed."

"Stop talking."

"What? I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You know I hate the word mistress."

"I forgot my keys."

[ofhairdyes-deactivated20160302]

ohshxit

[ofhairdyes-deactivated20160302]

            ❝Good luck finding something edible in the table –I wouldn’t specifically touch the snacks, someone just came in and spat all over it. Drunk, probably. ❞   

[ohshxit-blog]

        Freeze! Slowly move the spring roll away from your mouth. “Oh. Shit. And here I thought I was gonna enjoy my fake asian food in peace.” 

[embrosius]

Regret floods through Merlin momentarily – Felix, despite his lack of verbal affirmation on the matter, is hardly one for physical contact, and for a few heartbreaking moments, his body is stiff, a board, more stone than flesh –

– and then, he relaxes, slowly, and Merlin breathes out, head tucked neatly in between the curve of Felix’s shoulder and his neck, and he resists the urge to plant a kiss at the juncture. { resists, but, merlin is nothing but affectionate – and gently, teeth scraping against fee’s neck } 

                               “Mmhmm, and I’m sure you’ll be my gallant knight and                                protect me from the dangers of the……ethernet.”

Felix’s touch is warm, kind – and Merlin feels wanted for the first time in eons.

                               “Tell me about love.”

[ohshxit-blog]

Just about done running malwarebytes and–– oh? Oh. This is that kind of cuddling. It’s the kind of embrace that sends his heart going under Merlin’s teeth. The kind of weight that sits black haired and foreign in his neck, somehow as vital as his pulse.   He’s never been able to figure that one out: how vital this feels–– feels. How Merlin makes him feel. 

And yet he can’t help but analyze the scrape of Merlin’s neck, the touch between their skin, the moment, his breath, the laptop still humming on namesake lap ( though, easily set aside to the coffee table. Easy ). 

And it’s only when he contemplates his own fingers still stuck in Merlin’s hair–– really mulls it over; that he finds it fit to close his palm around a tress of it. To pull, just enough to tilt, enough to make eyes meet in an anticipatory moment. 

( He has an inkling that he’s not supposed to reveal the specific chemistry of love, )

“ It’s dopamine, and all that. Yeah? ” 

( but does, anyway. )

[ohshxit-blog]

Sure, I’m an asshole, but I can be super cute and mushy so fuck you

[embrosius]

You know, if seeing your cute neighbor in nothing but his undergarments meant getting violently splashed with water at 4:30 AM, well, let the entire apartment complex burn to the ground, why not?

                                                 “305, what a pleasure.”

{ can you really blame him? his neighbor is unnaturally pretty (merlin always thought so, catching glimpses of him in corridors and doorways, once even, on the streets, him rushing towards long hours of lecture, the other, off on his bicycle, an entirely different direction, and like clouds do they cross and uncross, stars that glimmer and then fade, a supernova, and then they collapse upon one another, light years away ) with long eyelashes which so grace dusky cheeks, full lips, there is a grace about him, in the contours of his shoulders and his slender, elegant neck, his shapely calves – }

{ jesus fuck, ok, someone obviously hasn’t gotten enough sleep, damn medical school, damn his internship, and goddamn those boxers – }

And it’s cold out and despite being dressed in more layers, he is as chilled to the bone, a textbook propped under his arm, in his blind panic had he so reached for it – and he leans closer, breath grazing collarbones –

                                     “Merlin Emrys.”

[ohshxit-blog]

He’s hardly shivering, and that has something to do with the out of body experience he’s experiencing right now. It’s a feeling of watching one’s self shivering on a silver screen. As if the person actually doing the shivering is an actor being paid to catch hypothermia for you. That o obliviousness is mostly fatigue’s fault, mostly the general emotion of doneness towards this whole fire debacle. 

But he’s got enough wit between his ears to snort at his neighbour’s introduction, as if it were a cruel pun. 

“Intriguing,” he’s suddenly aware of his near-nakedness, a wave of self consciousness due to the warm breath against his conversely chilled skin. “Felix Hart.” 

Felix will take the strange name for what it is–– Arthurian. He glances down to Merlin’s glittery palm, gripping an overpriced Physiology hardcover, no doubt purchased from a university bookstore. If that’s the first thing the guy grabs, he’s definitely a med student. 

( Though, to be fair, Felix didn’t grab anything. That’s telling, too. ) 

He speaks in proper sentences now, through near comedically chattering teeth. ( He wonders when the shivering started happening. Whether he just started or if he had just noticed. ) It takes him a few tries in poorly concealed frustration to iron out this awkward impediment. The effort itself is much to his dismay, since no one wants to stutter unintentionally as a first impression. Especially when that first impression is directed to an attractive, apparently intelligent, mildly familiar stranger. 

“You– you can download those,” he nods to Merlin’s book, “for free.” 

[ohshxit-blog]

friend: why are u covered in glitter?

me: why aren't YOU covered in glitter???

[fromanotherdxmension-deactivate]

     “Excuse you. I’m a whole fifteen years old!”

     [The girl’s hands go to rest on her hips, eyes glaring       crossly at the other. Who even is he? Does he get a       kick out of assuming things? Either way, it’s obvious      that STAR is not happy.]

[ohshxit-blog]

Fifteen whole years! Wow! Amazing! He’s really impressed, can you tell by the blatant look of apathy on his features?! 

“Impressive. You’ve made it a decade and a half without su- ccumbing to the harsh societal climate of our modern era.” 

[untitledrps-blog]

PSA:

untitledrps = koaschei

untitledrps​ = phroditie

untitledrps​ = galahaxd

untitledrps​ = ohshxit