Don't slip!

@oil-man

Name's Oil, and I'm the slickest guy in town!

52 posts

patriotbomber039

Open Season

patriotbomber039

The intent was definitely still there, but Napalm knew better than to let the troops open fire at the first sign of trouble, so close to the city, no less.

The Joe managed to catch the DLN by surprise, grabbing him right off of his slider and holding him until a second grabbed the other arm to restrain him. The two silently pulled him aside as the platoon captain approached; ironically, the captain brandished some kind of electric prod in spite of Oil Man’s protests.

And oddly enough, the Joe simply stopped just in front of him, staring with that soulless, cyclopian red eye.

> I repeat, Charlie One, you are not to terminate your captive. Initiate audio feed.

A silent moment later, an audible whir accompanied a bit of static from the Joe captain, followed by a much clearer, identifiable voice… not the Joe, but that of Napalm Man himself, crackling over the short-wave radio.

"—rlie One, confirm, is this thing on…? Oh." The voice was quiet, but became much more commanding when it noticed the echo. That feed was definitely on.

"Ahem. DLN-00B, is that correct?" Napalm directly addressed Oil over the radio. "I should let these boys do what they want with you, just to make sure you keep that promise. Assuming you haven’t already alerted the Lights about our presence.”

Wow this Joe was bigger up close. Who was that on the other end though? Didn't matter. He felt pretty screwed either way. "H-hey now man, c'mon, relax, I didn't do nothin! You uh, you really wanna mess with someone like me? I-I mean I haven't told anyone but rough me up too much and you can bet my family'll be on your tail like.. like flies to a horse's-"

He halted when the Joe adjusted its grip on him. "I mean seriously just let me go I won't tell a soul I swear I'll just go on home and pretend none of this ever happened, honest!" Man did Oil look a mess. It was pretty pathetic, actually. He just wished he knew who was on the other end of things. Didn't sound like any Wilybot he recognized.

#patriotbomber039

patriotbomber039

Open Season

patriotbomber039

As soon as the Joe’s activity monitor popped up, Napalm visibly perked. They were instructed to move at the first sign of trouble, and from the sonar pinging off a target like crazy, something had gone wrong. He quickly pinged the squad leader.

> 037 to Foxtrot One, what’s your situation? I just picked up an unknown in your scan range…

After a few moments, the little radar blip shook off and started heading away from the site rather quickly. No response from Fox One.

> … Foxtrot One. I have an unmarked target in your vicinity. Report your status.

Finally, the Joe squad reported back, in the usual monotone binary language.

> Unknown Robot Master has been marked. Intruder identified as DLN-00B. Sector on full alert, requesting permission to engage.

Shit. Shit. Maker damn it. The idiots got themselves spotted by a Light. He didn’t need this now. If DLN-00B - whoever that was - gave away their location, this op was utterly screwed.

> … That’s a negative, Fox One. Relocate to secondary position immediately and await further orders.

> 037 to Charlie One, target is two kliks out and heading your way. You are cleared to engage if you have visual, but do not open fire. All units, we will not open fire.

Charlie One chirped a confirmation, followed by the same from and Napalm pulled up his HUD once again. Who knows, maybe the dumb bots could take him down. The Charlie squad outnumbered him four to one. They could take him without their busters… right?

Oil took off on his slider, resisting the overwhelming urge to scream like a little kid as he made a mad attempt to outrun the enemy. The Joes on his tail were... not shooting? What? Maybe this guy didn't have harmful intent.

.. Didn't matter. He was outie, sliding along effortlessly until- oop. Shoot. One of them managed to catch up and snag him.

"Oh man oh man OH MAN don't taze me bro!" He laughed, then started sniveling and cursed his overly-comedic programming. "Hey hey c'mon I ain't doin' nothin' let me go! Please? Swear I won't tell a soul about any'f this!"

#if you want to continue this thread we can assume it happened BEFORE the current thing going on #that's up to you #you can ignore it too if youd rather not bother!#patriotbomber039

patriotbomber039

Open Season

This. Is. FUBAR.

Was the only thing running through Napalm’s processor during the time he was watching his radar scans. To a bystander, it would seem as though the tank were just staring off into space, but his HUD was in fact his only focus at the time. As it should be; they’d just spent the last three hours setting up a deployable scanner relay around the city.

And the bay. And the airport. He’d even taken the risk of sending a Joe to deploy a scanner less than half a klik from Light Labs. They had to be sure that their target wasn’t hiding out there, however things seemed on the outside. Where Napalm stood on the outskirts of Monsteropolis, the cover of night allowed him to be out to direct the troops from a decent vantage point on an overlooking hill top. As if he’d ever consider monitoring this from the fortress.

Despite all evidence, Tengu Man wasn’t an idiot; he was still a Wily model. If he didn’t want to be found, 057 would likely do everything in his power to disappear. Napalm had no such advantage; he was a tank, with no civilian disguise at all. Tengu would see him coming a mile away, and hanging out in the city would make a direct approach impossible.

Thus, he was forced to utilize mobile radar (which was terribly inaccurate) and the dumb-as-rocks Joe brigade. It was starting to wear on his patience.

The Lab turned up nil, and the Joe outside was hastily moved to a safer location once it figured out how to dismantle the scanner… or just ended up snapping it in half. Northwest thru Northeast sectors weren’t picking up much, Southeast seemed to be picking up every robot except their target, and South Bay district had already been forced to relocate their scanners twice to avoid the increased police patrols. The rest of the units had been moved to the rooftops when they realized that activity was higher than usual.

The tank stared at his radar for what seemed like days, though his internal clock only registered about four hours. It was like watching rust spread. Maybe Tengu had figured out how to mask his DWN signature. He didn’t think the bird would stray too far from the city, regardless of his current allegiances, but if he had…

Well, they’d just have widen the search. Move the receivers. Maybe get the Apache Joes to do a few aerial sweeps. Tengu couldn’t be allowed to just roam around, not now.

… There just has to be an easier way.

Napalm may have in his journeys have been unfortunate enough to have searched out the city's junkyard, and even if he hadn't, the smell of it lingered in the air for any robot with olfactory sensors to show disgust at. A few Joes were likely unable to do so (with their being lesser robots and such) but that didn't keep Oil from flipping his metaphorical lid when he glanced sight of one. He slipped away, and down, hoping that the seemingly-rogue robot hadn't cared to determine whether or not his signature was worth investigating. Who knew a little trip to steal a few parts was gonna end up with him crouched in the dirt, avoiding the enemy?

Carefully he ran a scan of the area only to find out that there was another. And another. And another, and another, and a unique, high-energy mass in the middle of them all. He sent a message off to the Lights:

> Guys. Guys. There's a combat unit, maybe some DWN, on the outskirts of the city, and he's got a hoard of Joes with him. Idk what's up but I'm sending you my coordinates and getting out asap!

Oh shoot. Was it that Tengu dude? With a brave little turn he glanced around the corner just to be grabbed from behind by one of the standard Joe models. A slick little twist later and he was out and high-tailing it on an oil slider, but not without his scarf whipping in the wind like a bullfighter's capote.

#patriotbomber039

i ain’t a greasy idiot, sheesh, heheh

"Ugh I’m done, I ain’t taking anymore of your shit"

whatever you say blubber boy!

i think i won this argument.

"THAT WAS LUCK OKAY?!"-He huffed-"Shut your gosh dang face ya greasy idiot"

i ain't a greasy idiot, sheesh, heheh

how about monsteropolis park?

Alright. When?

tomorrow morning?

Aw man looks like brother Time's back. He bothered anyone yet?

maybe i like ‘em big huh? ever think of that?

"…Nope"-On the list of things Aqua expected to be said, that was not one of them-"Hahaa" -How do you respond to that?-

i think i won this argument.

alright alright let’s uh

meet somewhere real public and we can talk about it okay

Yes, that works. Anywhere nearby is fine, just tell me where you will be comfortable.

how about monsteropolis park?

well i guess you ain’t never gettin’ any then since nobody’s that tall!

"Scuse’ me! Not my fault you’re shrimpy , ya know I’m pretty short compared to some of my bros. A tiny guy like you shouldn’t be hitting on a big ol’ bowl like me anyway!"

maybe i like 'em big huh? ever think of that?

i dunno man i bet it could if it tried

you wanna find out? heheh

"Ah haa you’re hilarious, cause in case ya didn’t know, you must be this tall to right this ride"- Aqua held up a hand that was above Oil Man’s height, giggling to himself-

well i guess you ain't never gettin' any then since nobody's that tall!

oil’s reallllll good at gliding across water’s surface know what i’m saying?

"It can slide across the surface all it wants, but it can’t really get in it either, ya know what I’m saying?"-Aqua made a face, and in it you could see he was trying not to laugh at all of this-

i dunno man i bet it could if it tried

you wanna find out? heheh

yeah and what if you happen to fit those standards huh? sheesh

"Ya kidding, cause I thought we had this mental agreement that you and me don’t go well"

oil's reallllll good at gliding across water's surface know what i'm saying?

well that changes everything :| gimme a chance buddy

"Why should I? Especially to some Light bot, don’t you have standards man?"

yeah and what if you happen to fit those standards huh? sheesh

yeah uh one problem

i don’t trust non-lightbots alright? and you being a fire robot, well

Understandable. All I can give you this way is my word.

And I realize that this is sudden. I got a little excited.

alright alright let's uh

meet somewhere real public and we can talk about it okay

yeah sure i mean we have cars and stuff but they go through it so slow y’know and with all them hybrids it’s kinda pointless nowadays

I go through a lot of oil. We should meet.

yeah uh one problem

i don't trust non-lightbots alright? and you being a fire robot, well

man you talk like you can control fire but i know better it’s a scary thing

but what do i have to do with oil? oil’s the best stuff ever and the answer to everything dude. in fact i watch over an oil field for dr. light and take care of some of the goings-on down there. new type of stuff we’re developing. real sustainable. made from plants or something, i dunno. whatever.

…

It would be useful to have someone to test what you are developing, yes?

yeah sure i mean we have cars and stuff but they go through it so slow y'know and with all them hybrids it's kinda pointless nowadays

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