Alright enough hinting. Tell us abt the pines family affair 🤨
ahem. pulls out my google doc. here's the setup!!!
"a family affair" is my pinesot4 au set in 2015. in 2012, the pines twins' parents sent them to gravity falls while they worked out and formalized their separation. in the spring of 2015, they began their divorce proceedings.
stan and ford docked the stan o' war 2 for the time being, wanting to be there for dipper and mabel. They had stayed with them every summer since 2012 (soos and his abuela stayed somewhere else during the summer) and stan and ford had grown to become a permanent fixture in their lives.
however, there were some issues. dipper and mabel's parents couldn't decide custody, and they were frankly unable to behave themselves, so the court awarded temporary custody to stanley and stanford pines.
dipper and mabel were surprised to see both of them here, in suits. they were surprised to hear stan addressed as stanley. and, most of all, they were surprised to hear him introduced as stanford's husband, Stanley Goldman at birth, canadian immigrant.
now, they assumed that this was just some kind of ploy for stan and ford to get custody. the court would be more willing to give custody to a married couple than to a single grunkle. (yea ik it's 2012. lets pretend homophobia doesn't exist for a second mk 🥰)
it's weird to live at the mystery shack in the springtime. dipper and mabel are homeschooled for the time being as they get settled. they don't talk about how stan and ford are married. it's kind of weird, but stan had done weirder cons, after all.
dipper and mabel don't talk about it because they don't think it really matters. stan and ford don't talk about it for a different reason: they think that dipper and mabel are intentionally avoiding the subject because they're uncomfortable with it.
one morning, stan is making stancakes, and ford, on auto-pilot, gives him a chaste good morning kiss. he startles out of his half-asleep state when he sees the matching dropped jaws of the younger pines twins. he would expect surprise, but this level of surprise was kind of uncalled for. it was almost like they..
didn't know stan and ford were romantically together at all. woops. in hindsight, they probably should have discussed this.
ford is mortified by this realization. mabel and dipper are completely shaken. stan doesn't give a shit and just continues making stancakes like nothing happened.
dipper and mabel talk about it in their room, both silently freaking out for different reasons. surprisingly, neither of the reasons are the brotherfucking. they did kind of act like a married couple, after all... no, they're both super jealous. they act like it's because of the incest thing and they tell themselves that it's the incest thing, but they're jealous.
1: because their grunkles are getting to have twincest and they aren't, and 2: because their grunkles are getting to bang each other and they aren't!! dipper has a huge crush on ford and mabel has a huge crush on stan. but they're also in love with each other. they're so freakay.
dw. they're all gonna get freaky with each other at some point. it only takes like. a few months. progression: stancest -> pinecest -> fordbel -> standip -> a few very awkward conversations -> dipford & stanbel -> pinesot4 aka the worst polycule in oregon aka MASSIVE INCEST ORGY!!!!!
thank you thank you. i'll take my nobel prize now. for discovering incest <3