OneWhoTurns

1992 - bi/acespec - she/her - fandoms and memes etc - AO3 - jonalex - emsider - aaand runs rp blogs @unwilling-survivor and @stabby-murder-boi - aka turner or verbs (this is my main)

[x-amount-verbs]

Anyway I wrote an urban fantasy action/romance story with a friend and I’m posting it on Wattpad cause it’s tropey as hell and highly self-indulgent and I’m not sure I can justify posting it on ao3 lmao. I probably won’t post about it much on here cause it’s not fandoms related.

M/F vampire/hunter enemies to lovers with a hefty amount of action and angst and a slowwwww burn. There is eventual smut but it takes a hot hot hot minute to get there. 😅 Check it out if you want! It’s a lot of fun!

Wattpad rarely gets comments for me despite having the best built-in way to comment on specific lines or sections, and I crave reactions, so please pepper it with comments if you can 👉👈 I reply to all comments over there, especially if you come from tumblr!

Dark Designs (Monsters of New York, book 1)

Cain's coven thinks he died when he was starved, defanged, and exiled, but little do they know he has a thirst for veng...

Also, admire this cover which I think really embodies the early 00s urban fantasy tv show vibes we’ve been channeling 😂

(extra thanks to my betas for the first few chapters, @silcoitus @juniper-sunny and @cognacandlilac y’all are amazing and I thank you)

[onewhoturns]

Comms and art!

River and Cain both by @artoffara

And a glimpse at coven!Cain, before he had his fangs filed down :333 by @stellarxdeath

[feefal]

Design for shopping bags! I’ll bring them to future conventions >:)

I hope it’s the kind of shopping bag that makes you go “wow! I think I’ll spend all my money on her art, just so I can carry them around in this awesome bag”

[catnoli]

tomato shark 🍅 this is a sticker reward for my silly mail members who sign up before june 1st!

[fleebites]

throwback thursday: maid

[birdwarde]

Woodcock Bags are now available for preorder!

[alexanderwales]

Here's a legal PSA:

If you've committed a crime and a detective gathers everyone involved in the room, especially if he's not actually a detective and is instead a novelist, puzzle-setter, psychic, fake psychic, dog, chess grandmaster, etc. ...

YOU SHOULD NOT CONFESS.

Every year, hundreds of people are put away by non-traditional "detectives" who have either inserted themselves into the case or are working with the police in a dubiously legal capacity as advisor. In 99% of these cases, the murderer gives a full confession even though the evidence against them is circumstantial at best and often requires a long just-so story which can only guess at motive.

If this happens to you, stay quiet, do not attempt to defend yourself or talk your way out of it, only say "I want a lawyer".

Now if you find yourself being investigated by a boy genius, magician's assistant, anthropologist, classics scholar, or philosopher, it's likely that refusing to talk to the police (or investigator with no legal authority) is merely the end of the second act, and by the end of the third act they will have you dead to rights.

YOU SHOULD STILL NOT CONFESS.

Make them take it to court. Force the eccentric detective and his straight-laced police partner to take the stand and explain their methods to a jury of your peers. Have your lawyer look at the chain of custody on the evidence, especially if you believe it to have been handled by someone who has only bumbled into detective work through their natural charm and/or unique set of skills and outsider perspective that come in handy more often than they should.

Know your rights. Don't let eccentric detectives put you away.

[seren-starlight]

Unoriginal sin. Derivative sin

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

they killed him for this

[iapislazuli]

when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voice “i dont think anybody is condemned to hell….” paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added on “…not even gay people” 

[iapislazuli]

Happy pride month to the filthiest most brutal read I’ve ever been given in my life

[alunaloverworld]

[sphinxofgrease]

the word “sabotage” is p much short for “fucking shit up with a wooden shoe”

[futzingbarton]

what

[sphinxofgrease]

fucking shit up with a wooden shoe

[futzingbarton]

oh my god

[genderhasnobearingonability-blog]

well wooden shoe look at that

[nerdismyhobby]

I’M FUCKING CRYING AT THAT PUN BE MY FRIEND PLEASE 

[palmer]

never will forget the gay porn I watched where the director quietly told the bottom to “lose the anime voice” and you could see overwhelming disillusionment form in his eyes

[lemonitenite]

[fixitlikeswomen]

[herpsandbirds]

[chalkbird]

before the fun-looking silly sheep detective movie hits the theaters and you all run to see it, expecting a silly sheep detective movie (and hugh jackman), here's what you're getting into:

[ooppo]

At this point it's more disappointing than shocking that not a single assassin in the states can aim a fucking gun

[ooppo]

Not fucking really

[zsh-official]

[tabris-the-seventeenth-angel]

HEARTBREAKING: friends who i should be going to the movies and playing dnd and watching anime and cosplaying and going to the mall and having sleepovers and exploring the woods with live one hundred trillion miles away