I MADE THIS TO RECORD MY DND SHIT

Hi I play DnD so I made this blog to document all the crazy shit that happens. 

[onlyindnd]

SO I’ve been kicked from my IRL group.

The reason being is because the DM I was ranting about in This Post had decided that he made a mistake allowing my dragonborn to have the dragonwings feat. At level 4. And wanted to “compromise”. Basically I had to give up my wings (so retcon my characters wholeass life) to get a psuedodragon familiar because he didn’t like that I had the wings and recounted the PHB at him when he tried to insert a house rule that defeated the point of getting pact of the chain in the first place (Patron chooses the familiar). In my defense, I thought he had made a mistake and was just recounting the rule wrong, I didn’t mean to offend him in any way. Apparently he doesn’t like my attitude towards him (I’ve had no respect for him for a while, also contemplated leaving but didn’t because I liked the campaign and the players) and apparently I’ve had this attitude towards the others? Didn’t tell me when that was but whatever, go off I guess. Basically he’s a bit of a shit DM who can’t compromise for the life of him.

[onlyindnd]

So I have a couple pet peeves about the game that I just wanna type out... - When you plan to do something, but can’t turn up to the session on time/at all, so the other players just go off and mess up what you wanted to do so you don’t get to do it at all.

- When they other players are planning to do something stupid and reckless and they won’t listen to you when you try to suggest an alternate solution

-WHen the players keep talking and don’t listen to the DM

-When the DM makes things too hard and give you no rewards

-When the DM seems intent on killing your character just because you said something they didn’t like or something else that’s just as petty.

-Rules Lawyering when they only point out a rule when it benefits them.

- The DM constantly putting the players on edge, even when it’s a seemingly innocent period. (when the partys in a town, at a ball etc)       - An example of this is how one of my DMs has a track record of making every ball in this one specific town the party goes to ends in death or near-death and violence.

- The DM making every DC something near-impossible just because “Your saves are really good” even though you have a +3 or +4 for only two of them.

-Impossible DCs in general. (Oh this poison is a 25 DC!!!!!! What’s that? None of you have a +5 or above to Con saves? Pfft, you’ll be fine! Now take 45 points of poison damage and also the poisoned status.)

[onlyindnd]

HEY!! GUYS!!! WANNA KNOW SOMETHING???

IT’S OK FOR PLAYERS TO HAVE RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN THEIR CHARACTERS IF THEY’RE BOTH OKAY WITH IT!! I have a couple friends who think it’s weird for the players to make romantic (sometimes sexual) relationships between their characters, so I just wanted to write my two cents about it down!! - They’re fictional characters, it doesn’t mean you have to get with them out-of-campaign. One of the concerns I heard a couple times was ‘what if the others think we’re dating?’ and like...that’s silly. Most players can distinguish the difference between the player and the character, and if a joke about you as the player dating the other goes too far, say something! Tell your DM! Chances are the other player won’t appreciate it much either (especially if they’re already taken out of campaign).

- Forming a relationship with an npc actually isn’t any different. You’re still roleplaying with a person and saying lovey dovey cheesy mushy lines to them. The DM controls them and you’re controlling your character. As long as your DM’s okay with it (and usually they are), then there shouldn’t be an issue :>

- If there’s chemistry, who gives a fuck? If two characters have chemistry, you might as well ship them together until they get together if the players are on board with it. Relationships in-game don’t usually make much of a difference unless a Cleric or a Paladin does the ceremony ritual to give you some buffs for marriage.

- Other relationships are fine too! Larimar (Tief Paladin) recently got attached to a small Tiefling orphan we found after a difficult boss. This lil kid idolizes adventurers and wants to be as strong as Larimar some day, and Larimar sees himself in him.  He’s kind of taken on the role of big protective brother to the child, and in a session we’re planning on dropping him off with Larimar’s mom so we don’t drag a child into a dragons lair.

- Literally doing it because it’s a big joke is encouraged

[onlyindnd]

A lil DnD haul :>  I painted the smaller box, made the Tome and I have about 9 sets of dice at the moment. I don’t know what to paint on the big box tho :/ I use the Tome to write my character’s down in, but I still make sheets for them. The Tome just has stats, some bio stuff (Age, race, colours etc), a portrait of the character, their subclass details and their overall class details, and also their race/subrace details, feats and any spells they get from their feats or race :> I can’t afford the PHB so I have to make do with the Tome, and the odd commission helps pay for the spellcards if theres enough left after my college expenses had been covered :))

[onlyindnd]

Ready for DnD Tomorrow :D Made myself some custom sheets and laminated them, gonna use whiteboard markers to write stuff down :DD

[onlyindnd]

So you wanna roleplay your character in DnD?? Here’s some tips!! Don’t be afraid to do a different voice! If you’re using Roll20 and talking over discord, you could get a soundboard or voice changer if you can’t change your voice naturally or if you don’t want to. I do accents for my characters, Larimar is German, Chroma is my McCree impression...Who gives a shit if the accents any good?  Be as outrageous as you want, everyone’s a nerd at the table. Playing a bard? Fuck it, sing you heart out, bring an instrument, who cares if you can actually play it/ sing, you’re having fun! Warlock? Bring a sword from a costume store and pretend you’re Davey Jones! Rogue? Actually steal peoples Dice progressively throughout the game (Funnier if everyone only has one set or if you take the paladins D8′s, tho when people actually get annoyed you should stop) Don’t be afraid to do things that’re more flavour-based. My party went into a goddamn volcano and we all came out bloodied, bruised and sweaty, our clothes were torn and most of us were half dead. What did we do? We pampered ourselves, that’s what we did. We got new clothes, we had gone to the towns baths and cleaned ourselves up, the front liners got massages and the druids went to some gardens and enjoyed themselves. We spent about 300 gold on that pamper day, and guess what? We had fun because even though we weren’t in combat, we were still playing! The DM will most likely get you to roll for things still (Finding the baths, perception to see if the barbarians gonna cannonball onto the wizard, etc), so you don’t need to worry about you or the DM getting super bored.

Are you a DM? Consider some Fumble/Drunk/Critical/etc tables. The drunk table is great, You roll a d100 and depending on what you roll, you go out and do some weird activity. This can be as good as sleeping with the person of your dreams, or as bad as trying to steal from the most important figure in the city/town you’re in and getting arrested. Fumble tables are fun too. You roll a d100 on a natural 1, and you can end up giving the enemy opportunity attacks or advantage you could end up dropping your weapon, getting embarrassed, or even knocking yourself out. Always fun. Especially when the druids wildshape rolls a natural 1 and the “drop your weapon” roll and you have to decide if they drop their teeth or whatever. Critical Tables? Again, d100, but on a natural 20. Write some amazing things down for your party, make them feel like the most badass whateverthefucktheyreplaying in the world! Even if it doesn’t make sense!

Get nosey with other peoples backstories. Sometimes DMs or even players never do anything about the backstory (like mentioning it like, ever), and so its always nice to be nosey if its in character. Or if you all nearly died. Oooooor if someone reacted to something specific. For instance, in one party I’m in, my character Larimar used to get his horns sawn off by his father. When the party saw some tieflings being ‘purified’ by having their horns cut off, he went into a panic attack and grasped his horns as if protecting them. The party asked why when they had quickly moved away, and he explained. If that moment hadn’t happened, (And it was entirely player controlled by the way, I rolled a wisdom save for myself to see if he’d react and he did.) no-one would have ever known that his father was a piece of shit and is the main reason behind some of his behaviors. This reveal actually gave the hardened ranger a reason to save him in a fight later on. That stuff can pay off!! Don’t be afraid to be as cheesy as you want, the point is to have fun while playing, and the DM will probably produce an NPC that’s just as ridiculous at some point anyway, so challenge the DM, do things they don’t expect you to do to trigger more interesting outcomes, find ridiculous solutions to problems.  As our wizard always says, there’s nothing you can’t fix with magic.

[onlyindnd]

!!Commissions!!

Character Commissions (In Pounds)

Character Commissions (In Dollars (USD))

I also do Dice Boxes! They’re very simple, but my IRL group liked them a lot so I figured I’d put them out here to sell. I don’t have an Etsy yet, so if you’re interested just DM me!!

Base Price is £15 + Shipping

[onlyindnd]

So far, playing with one of my DMs has been stressful as fuck. He set a group of 5 PCs and 1 NPC (All level 10) against a CR 15 monster that had three attacks per turn and did around 33-40 damage PER HIT. (The average amount of HP was around 80-barely 100)

The session before that? 5 Mutated elves against 5 level 10s. No idea what CR they were but considering they downed half the party and seriously wounded the rest, they were probably CR 9-10. 

A random encounter during a long rest? 2 Apes vs a level 10 party of 5. Easy, right? NOPE. Nearly downed 2 players and we only won because of the other paladins channel divinity option, rebuke the violent. CR? Apparently 7. Didn’t fucking feel like it. 

This DM has a bad habit of bumping up the CR of the creatures because he thinks he gave us too many magical items. He gives us basically no loot at the moment. For the CR 15 and CR 10ish fight we got a total of 1 platinum each (Worth 100gp I think, can’t remember)

He’s a kinda new DM so I can forgive him a little bit, but when you do it EVERY FUCKING GAME it gets a bit annoying, yanno?

Oh but I didn’t mention the Creme A La CREME of the bullshit. The CR 15 fight? A cracked version of an Elder Wendigo sheet he found. We lost:

30 Platinum (3,000gp)

All of our magical gear became mundane, apart from a couple of items (so about 30,000gp worth of gear)

When attacking this thing with a melee weapon, your weapon would slowly disintegrate (Another 12,000gp gone)

16 hit dice between us

Enough HP to kill a Behir or two (give or take a few)

Divine health was also for some reason negated????? When you pull that shit with a party and then pay them fucking nothing, you can’t expect all of them to be OK with it. I DID talk to the DM about it, and he’s reimbursed some of the items or just given us better ones, but still. New DMs, PLEASE DO NOT ASSUME A PARTY CAN HANDLE HIGH CR MONSTERS JUST BECAUSE YOU GAVE THEM A LOT OF MAGICAL GEAR. THERE ARE OTHER WAYS AROUND IT. Some tips:

Plan the items you know you want to give them before they are given to them. Ask people on forums or message boards or even discords if an item might make things too easy on the party, and keep track of what they have, what they sold, what they got rid of and what they ignored. (Checklists are useful for this)

If a fight feels too easy on your end, it’s too hard for the players.

Try not to negate abilities like divine health without telling the players first, or at least making them do a perception roll. It kinda seems like you’re just conveniently removing it otherwise.

KEEP A TRACK OF DCS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, THEY’RE IMPORTANT. This DM forgot that the DC was 19 for the Wendigo Psychosis, so when I rolled a 19 (The defender always wins with saves that equal the DC), he thought the DC was 20. Only later on did he realize the mistake.

This game is called DUNGEONS & Dragons for a reason. Don’t be afraid to go dungeon crawling with your party once in a while, but don’t make every encounter nearly impossible. Save harder fights in dungeons for the final encounter.

Players do need downtime/breaks from combat. This also gives you extra time to plan things out or set up maps without taking away from game time. Some DMs don’t like it that much, but it’s nice to have players interact to learn more about each others characters so they have reasons to give a shit about each other in battle.

Don’t blow your PC backstory quests all in one load. Scatter the backstory reveal quests out a bit, but not so they’re few and far between.

Try not to hyper-focus on one PC. It might be hard to not do that in some groups, but this is a team-based game, and other players might act out to try and draw the spotlight if you don’t even attempt to give them equal attention.

If you have a physical plot device, don’t give it to only one player. I play a campaign where only one character has access to a plot device that allows us to know the location of the other plot maguffins, so we have to ask him to figure out where the next one is, or we just have to follow him because he’s the only one able to point us in the right direction. This can be especially annoying if that player or character is away from the group/party and you need to figure everything out.

Throw a couple of easy fights at the players once in a while. When a quest or a side mission sounds simple at first (”The cemetery is full of undead, go clear it out and find the source” as an example), there is nothing more frustrating to me when every single little mission has some extra layers of complexity that seem totally unnecessary. (Turns out theres a giant undead maguffin that reanimates the corpses and it needs a specific item to kill it forever)

[onlyindnd]

AAAAAAAAAA

SO ME AND THE WIZARD HAVE FUCKING DISTRACTED THE DAMN INDOREX AND I’M A WAR OSTRICH WITH THE FUCKING WIZARD ON MY BACK I’M JUMPING INTO THE WATER TO WILDSHAPE INTO A GIANT SEAHORSE [UPDATE] WE SURVIVED

[onlyindnd]

NW THERE’S AN INDOMINOUS REX

[uPDATE] ITS CHASING US

THE FUCKING DM

[onlyindnd]

WE’RE FIGHTING A FUCKING TREX AT LEVEL 4

WHAT THE FUCK