L is for Lexi

I'm Lexi. I'm really awkward, blunt, and sarcastic. ISFJ/ISTJ. I'm 30. Bi. I'm from a shit town in New York. I have a BS in chemistry and I love it but don’t use it. I have GAD, MDD, &ADHD. I'm basically a giant nerd.I am also the CAT GOD KING. I'm Obsessed With The Perks Of Being A Wallflower, Doctor Who, Harry Potter, Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Invader Zim, Total Drama Island, Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, Bones, Supernatural, Parks and Rec, Community, 30 Rock, The Office, and much more. Liz Lemon is my spirit animal and I blame her for all my actions. I adore all bravo reality shows, vanderpump rules, and RHONYC, RHOOC, RHOBH, are deff my top favs, and I love millionaire matchmaker. My fav housewives that I'd love to meet and base behavior off of are in no particular order, Lisa Vanderpump, Kyle Richards, Lisa Rinna, Tamra Judge, Heather Dubrow, Sonja Morgan, Bethenny Frankel, Ramona Singer, Yolanda Foster, and I think that's all of them. I post what I want and it's sometimes nsfw. If you don't like it don't follow me? I kind of don't give a shit. If you want to get to know me just ask!

[digitalcarcrash]

rocky horror was ahead of its time Not because of the blatant queerness but because frank n furter's castle was wheelchair accessible

[beadyeyes]

It's go away Sunday everyone go away now

[princessnamora]

BETHANY JOY LENZ as HALEY JAMES SCOTT One Tree Hill (2003-2012) ☆ Episode 1.04

[vamplire]

i will always be the girl who likes vampires

[transhuman-priestess]

You guys do know you're supposed to reblog things, right

[transhuman-priestess]

"well i like this post but i'm worried my followers might not" fuck your followers. The entire point of tumblr is to cause irreparable psychic damage to your followers. We are locked in mortal combat on the astral plane. You must win. You Must Win. You Must Destroy Them.

[intosnarkness]

Time for my favorite Christmas tradition

[intosnarkness]

fans as a whole have utterly failed society in not producing more Court Jester AUs

Consider:

A bumbling fool who works for not!Robinhood accidentally ends up impersonating the new court jester for the usurping king

His partner is captured trying to sneak the true heir (a baby) to safety and ends up bringing the baby to the castle

Through a series of mistaken identities, hypnotism, and at least one scene that I'm 90% sure they played backwards, he ends up with a debonair personality that can be turned on and off when people snap

The witch convinces the princess he's her true love (The princess is played by a 19-year-old Angela Lansbury and she was a snack)

The princess refuses to marry the man her father wants, so in order to make a duel possible they knight the fool in 24 hours

A joust that involves poisoned cups, wordplay, the fool's armor getting hit by lightning and making it magnetic

A final battle in which not Robin Hood and a battalion of little people fight the evil duke who is played by Basil Rathbone

The baby, who as far as anyone knows has been in a basket in the stables the entire movie, gets to be king.

Danny Kaye and Glynis Johns are here with Ms. Lansbury for your bisexual needs

Featuring multiple songs, pratfalls, and visual gags. If you haven't seen it you're doing ti wrong.

I feel like I make this post every year, but it remains true.

[beastliness]

one thing I've long believed is that men should wear a shirt that's unbuttoned a slutty amount and a necklace that they can toy with seductively

[elfwreck]

[mina-logan]

[idiot-b-o-x]

Dumping more fluff here. 💕 Draco tries to style Hermione's hair without using any spells.

[socialistfremenist]

[anxeious]

[prettycolors]

[theerakits-archive]

HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS — dir. Donald Petrie

[allaboutthems]

[covington-shenanigans]

when i was allegedly a woman i was briefly married to a cis guy before coming out as a lesbian and getting a divorce. my now ex-husband, a genuine sweetheart of a man, was very kind about it all and we remain good friends.

twenty-five (!) years later I came out as a trans man.

now. the important thing to know about my ex-husband is that he loves nothing more than 1) horrible puns, preferably bilingual ones; 2) terrible dad jokes; and 3) committing to the bit until the end of time. he absolutely lives for Shenanigans and Japery. i do not know how his long-suffering wife puts up with him, but they've been married for more than 20 years so presumably she manages.

so, to break the news to my ex, i texted him. the exchange went something like this:

me: "great news, i'm a trans guy now"

him: "oh, congrats!"

me: "thank you. now for the better news: I insist you refer to me henceforth only as your ex-husband. do you accept this challenge?"

and my cis, straight-as-an-arrow, lives-in-the-midwest, married-to-a-minister ex-husband was like

AND HE DOES! gleefully and completely straight-faced, as I understand it. confuses the hell out of everyone, none more than cishet conservative people who've known us both for decades and know for a fact he's only been married twice. I hope he never explains.

[anais-ninja-bitch]

amazing stuff.

[slipknots]

do you guys want to like and reblog posts from each other tomorrow

[icescrabblerjerky]

[findmyfears]

[clubnate]