hi!!!! i'm very angry!!!! @ontreason - Tumblr Blog

most girls: hair in an updo, thigh gap, wears lots of makeup and designer clothes, runs a hipster blog

me: bald, wears glasses, a frightening beard, button-up shirts, and a porkpie hat, cooks meth to provide for my family. i am the danger. i am the one who knocks.

prokopetz

I love 1990s action games so much. Your choices for playable characters are a frowning man, a frowning man with a slightly different haircut, and a dog wearing sunglasses. Your mission to Get Drugs Off The Streets™ somehow involves fighting a ninja dominatrix inside the body of a giant alien creature. This is taken 100% seriously.

prokopetz

@galacticscrap replied:

Why would you ever not choose the dog with sunglasses

a. Going with one of the frowning men gives you an excuse to badly quote Arnold Schwarzenegger movies.

b. Sometimes there’s also a robot.

c. You’re doing two player co-op and you got to be the dog last time.

d. You feel unaccountably compelled to always play as the token girl, even if she’s less powerful or doesn’t have particularly interesting gameplay, then years later you look back on that and you go “hey, wait a minute”.

dalaminaubis

Progression of enemies:

Muscle dudes who punch.

Muscle dudes with baseball bats.

Muscle dudes with chains.

Military assault helicopters.

Tigers.

Muscle dudes with personal teleporters who still just punch you.

Tigers with baseball bats.

The Borg.

Fat guy with brass knuckles.

1972 Ford Pinto.

The Ninja Queen.

The Ninja Queen with a baseball bat.

ontreason

isn’t this just crash bandicoot

hey who tf is still here

ryebreadgf

how could i forget to add the caption

yharnambimbo

ryebreadgf

how could i forget to add the caption

yharnambimbo

concealedblade-deactivated20210

let bottoms paint

nevermind!

bitchywerewolfparty

italkallthetime

c0ttonsocks

the King 👑

fuckyeah-nerdery

What pokemon is this?

iguanamouth

yeah

puyopuyo

you know i got that wiimote strap on

puyopuyo

i didn’t mean it like that and y’all know it :(

schzffctv-deactivated20200206

megapope-deactivated20220531

thebootydiaries

513-deactivated20160624

Your skin isn't glowing bitch you just oily

ethiopienne

stylish-homes

yelahpratt

gayhillzone-deactivated20191103

ships with height differences <333

tramampoline

kromioved

CURSED EMOJI MASTERPOST

i noticed these things are REALLY hard to find on the internet, so i decided to make it a little easier. if i’m missing any, feel free to add on! please.