TODAY!
Today's Document
Mike Driver
official daine visual archive
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
will byers stan first human second
hello vonnie

Andulka
ojovivo
Noah Kahan
taylor price

titsay
we're not kids anymore.

if i look back, i am lost

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$LAYYYTER
Three Goblin Art
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

shark vs the universe

seen from Germany
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@onveena
TODAY!
Greek Mythology: Unfortunately, Zeus was horny.
Norse Mythology: Unfortunately, Loki was bored.
Egyptian Mythology: Unfortunately, Set was envious.
Japanese Mythology: Unfortunately, Susanoo was rude.
Diné mythology:
Unfortunately, Coyote had “a good idea”.
Celtic Mythology:
Unfortunately you pissed off the Fae
Hindu mythology:
Unfortunately, another asura managed to obtain a boon from Bramha/Vishnu/Shiva
I love how everyone’s mythology has some variation of “And then there was This Asshole”
“Blink Motherfucker” an essay of Papyrus’ battle.
Papyrus’ battle is fucking weird an unnatural and here’s why.
Ok so, think about the battle sprites.
Nabstablook’s eyes shake so, constatly moving.
Toriel stays VERY still but her expression changes enough to make up for that.
(I couldn’t find a good gif so uh https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmC-pihm8YE If you want proof)
Undyne? bouncing. hair blowing in the wind.
Mad Dummy? bouncing.
Mettaton? Dancing his motherfucking heart out.
Asgore? bounceing.
Asriel? flying around at the speed of sound.
Sans? bouncing, swaying side to side.
Almost all the other monsters bounce and sway as well.
What’s weird about Papyrus’ battle is he doesn’t move at all.
His cape could be flowing in the wind. But no. Completely still. He could be moving at ALL but nope. But you know what’s REALLY WEIRD?? During the battle…Papyrus’ mouth doesn’t even move. watch a playthrough again….i’m right.
During Papyrus’ date he moves, his mouth moves, his expression changes, he’s very active.
But in his battle? Nothing. A statue. It’s like there’s a cardboard cut out of Papyrus. Papyrus, the most active charecter in undertale not moving a mother fucking inch.
Blink Motherfucker.
Hey so, real quick.
A Bunch or the reactions are people say “Oh! He’s concentrating on not killing you!”
Which…..I actually took the exact opposite interpretation.
Because, think about the movement in battles. Who moves the most?
Omega Flowey
Undyne the undying
Asriel Dankerr
Mettaton
Mad Dummy
People who are putting their ALL into killing you. Putting in all their concentration and effort into ending your little motherfukn lifu.
The people who move the least? (besides Papyrus the paper cutout)
Toriel
Nabstablook
most of the minor battles
Asgore
So, Toriel: Who does not want to kill you, and due to her lack of concentration on her attacks and more on her emotions causes the attacks to miss you. (Can still easily accidentally kill you) But still, distracted. Not putting her all into the battle
Nabstablook: Who needs ghost depression therapy. Really not feeling up to it right now. Not putting their all into it.
Minor monster battles: They do MOVE, and a lot of them do extensively, but they’re more still than like, Undyne or MTT. They’re only fighting you out of obligation. Not putting their all into it.
Asgore: He moves more than the other’s I pointed out, but his movements are small. He bounces slightly and slowly, if he moves it’s for his trident attack. Because well, he does NOT want you dead. He does NOT want that seventh soul. He’s not putting his all into it.
(Note: Sans is kinda an inbetween. bc he bounces a bunch and dodges and teleports a HELL of a lot. moves his arm. but he also like, aint moving a lot compaired to Asriel and Undying if you get me.)
D-Do you get where i’m coming from?
The Sprites that move the most? Putting in EVERYTHING into this battle. They want you dead. They are using all their energy and strength to end you.
The Sprites that stay still? Not putting in their all.
Not putting in their all.
Papyrus has the same amount of energy he usually has during his date, and the finale. He zips and zooms around the screen like a ping pong ball.
He is always putting in 110% into every little thing he does.
In his battle, he is still. A statue. A motherfucking plastic barbie. Not even moving his mouth.
(Note: I think some sprites don’t move their mouths in battle screens, but Papyrus moves his jaw later on the date, the dump, and in the finale. There is no excuse for him not moving his mouth during battle. But you know who else never moves their mouth bc he’s to lazy to? Sans the mother fu-. Sans is never putting in his all and doesn’t even bother to move his mouth to words.)
(Also note the only time he makes a diffrent expression is when you hit him, and not for long)
Papyrus isn’t putting in all his energy.
Papyrus isn’t putting in all his power.
Now listen, If when using his bare minimum, he can still control his attacks to a point where you cannot die, he can summon words spelled out and a GIANT FUCKING BONE, have a whole conversation with himself and not paying attention while fighting you, holy fuck.
I don’t want to know what Papyrus is like putting in his all.
The real reason Flowey befriended Papyrus was because of Papyrus’ unmatched raw power.
Good time to bring back the fact that everyone has two vines around them except Papyrus who has four.
Tbh with how much Flowey experimented with resets he could have seen Papyrus actually trying and I wanna see the look on that bastard’s face when he got yeeted from the ruins to new home and back.
papyrus could be an all powerful being, literally capable of killing literally everyone in the underground but is like “NAH, I’M JUST GONNA CHILL OUT HERE WITH MY SPAGHETTI AND DINOSAUR EGGS OATMEAL” that just radiates big mood to me, and i wish i knew why
shaggy, papyrus, and kirby are the trifecta of “can i destroy you in an instant? yes. would i rather just have lunch? also yes”
FUCK YOURE RIGHT JKHSKJHKJSDHKJSDHDS
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
for context:
“Beep Beep Bitch, You’re Gay!”
Updated the lesbian flag and added nonbinary, pan, ace, and aro for all your tacky LBGTQ+ barcode needs.
Hope yall like my abomination
That last one is fucking moving istg
at last. the gaydar
not enough people know this
The people who talk of “snowflake” culture are people who suffered horribly, survived, and want to redeem some recognition for their pain. “I had it bad so why shouldn’t they?” What’s good for the goose...” and “I turned out ok” are merely the traces of abuse and programming. If you find yourself saying that, take a moment to acknowledge how terrible it was and hope that others never experience it
Holy fucking shit y'all.
ok but
Have some samples from the comments - 10/10 would recommend browsing them.
incredibly important video
OMG this has everything: Mankrik’s wife, headbanging Onyxia, VanCleef doing sick dance moves, even Ragnaros getting in on the action! I love it! LMAO!
tbh I think dragonflies deserve more notoriety for being the Most Predator, like just the Most
As adults, their successful kill rate is 95%, the highest of any animal known. For comparison, that tiny wildcat with the best kill rate of any cat (the African black footed cat) has a rate of 60%; wolves have a rate more around 14%.
Unlike many insects, they are predators both as nymphs and as adults. All predator, all the time.
Their nymphs are among the largest predators in freshwater ponds. Smol but fierce apex predators.
basically dragonflies deserve to be the symbol of the badass, thanks for coming to my ted talk.
They’re also very pretty
So we played a drinking game today, basically you take 4 dice, a d6, d8, d10, and a d12 and a monster manual. And you roll the d6, 1-2 you roll the d8, 3-4 roll the d10, 5-6 roll the d12. You then flip the number of pages you get and whatever monster you land on you then have to decide whether you'd fuck it or not, if you will you take a shot, if not pass on the book. Simple. But somehow in our polycule, i as the ace of the group am the most drunk because apparently im also the biggest monster fucker out of all of us... how? I mean i said yes to a lich so I'm not surprised but still guys, tell me you wouldn't fuck a kraken. It's super fun tho, seriously try it with your partner/ partners and have fun we had a lot of laughs
Imma go now cause holy fuck i just had half a bottle of vodka to myself im warm
“The Barbarian and the Troll” is a new Nickelodeon show which is generally cute but like most human achievements will probably never be as funny as this one scene ever again.
remember that sasuke figurine that could hold up like literally fricking anythign
And my personal favorite
ARE YOU KIDDING ME
This is one of my favorite posts on this goddamn site.
So my friend is an acting major looking to get into broadway stuff, so she’s been doing a lot of voice training. Usually she does covers of broadway songs, but sometimes she gets bored and decides to sing other things.
She did a cover of “Smells Like Teen Spirit” and her voice coach liked it so much he liked mixed it and everything and it sounds great.
wait that was fucked
FUCK YOU omg how is this even possible
fuck off
Fuck you, you fucking suck man.
Oh, wow.
i made another horrible quiz, come get assigned a niche lgbtq aesthetic such as “strapping young transmasc farmhand” or “morose bisexual sailor”
This was a WONDERFUL quiz. Many pages I stopped and gaped with delight at the available options. This was Art.
Ossimoro
FREE PILLOW FIGHTS!
I love that most people once they realized what was happening just went full Berserk mode without a care
also the man dropping his walking cane to have an anime like elder master reveal
This wonderful human is bringing so much joy into the world. He’s reminding people they’re allowed to play. That they can be silly in public. That fun can come in unexpected places and at unexpected times. I wish I knew who he was. I’d donate so he could buy more pillows and bring more fun into the world - once it’s safe enough to.