The Grimm Lovely

1993, lesbian, she/her

[empress-butterfly]

[writeranon69]

Don't Fall for this scam.

Transgender community, please please please do NOT use this product! It will kill you if used, please do not use it whatsoever.

Please reblog and spread the word

[antipsychoticfemme]

this is absolutely disgusting. protect the dolls.

[shop5]

let’s be real the pressure to use AI as an adult is exactly what they said the pressure the do drugs as a teenager would be like but the people that told us that caved immediately for the AI and definitely did not just say no

[punishedsaints]

[star-anise]

Yeah sure Tumblr is a hellsite but I know someone who wrote a fanfic in the 1990s that someone else didn’t like, so when she was selling printed copies of the zine with the story in it out of her hotel room at a convention, this other woman STOOD IN FRONT OF HER DOOR TO REFUSE PEOPLE ACCESS. Because the story featured a ship she disliked. And I feel like somehow, 10,000 Tumblrs still can’t compare to that level of Extra.

[ineptshieldmaid]

Your periodic reminder that the technology and the scale of distribution changes, the basic impulse to fandom wank does not

[themarchrabbit]

I’ve actually heard about this event [or a similar event, which I can believe] from someone who was trying to get into the room to either buy the zine, or visit with the writer, or just see what was going on [idr]. Apparently it was quite the talk of the bar that night, and resulted in several heated [re: drunken] debates over whether Door Stander was violating Writer’s free speech, or if removing Door Stander would have violated Door Stander’s free speech.

Me, at the time, a 19yo with very little understanding of the law: “I mean…was it?”

Fandom Friend, who was a 40-something lawyer: “I’ll tell you the same thing I told everyone in that bar. No one was violating anyone’s free speech. Bitch was just being rude, and worse, obnoxious about it. You ever act like that in public, be aware you’re not changing anyone’s opinion. You’re just giving them a brand new opinion about you.”

It was a very formative conversation in my young adulthood.

Same person also told me to never mix coke and acid. Which was also pretty solid advice.

[audible-smiles]

the worst part of summer is that people get sooo comfortable expressing their disgust at having to see other people’s bodies. they’re always complaining about wrinkly old men at the nude hot springs or fat women in bikinis at the beach. I hate that shit. if you’re not capable of being normal about bodies you personally don’t find attractive, just turn your head to look at something else! and if you’re not smart enough to do that, then at least do the rest of us the courtesy of suffering in silence, because we don’t wanna hear your weird comments. thanks.

[eulers-babe]

for no reason whatsoever here’s a reminder that if you consider yourself a leftist/punk/abolitionist/anarchist/radical in any sort of way and get called into jury duty, you are to become the most square person on earth during the jury questionnaire!!!

don’t be that guy who says fuck the police in the jury questionnaire! that just gets you sent home! if you want to generate change, interact with the case and use your jury vote for good! ESPECIALLY if it’s a high profile case!

[libraryogre]

Remember, when you're on the jury, a good "that cop's story didn't add up" will sway a lot more Chads and Karens than "fuck the police."

[damnfool-of-a-took]

Had jury duty, can confirm!

An innocent man is home with his family instead of spending his kids' whole childhoods in jail for "resisting arrest" when none of the cops could agree on why he was being arrested in the first place. (But it definitely had nothing to do with him being a Black man in a nice car, honest! 🙄)

And it still took like two hours of delibration after we'd heard all the evidence because one lady was so gung ho about believing everything the cops said, even when not a single goddamn one could agree with their own testimony, let alone their colleagues'.

Pointing out all the inconsistencies and admitted misconduct and letting people slowly come to their own conclusions as the trial played out was fucking hard, I won't lie. I can be patient, but it doesn't come naturally to me.

But. Yelling about how this was obviously a bs case would have shut everyone down and made them stop listening. Asking questions and letting people discuss how the cops tried to make xyz sound suspicious but it was totally normal, or about how if things played out the way the cops said then logically events should have proceeded in a totally different direction, and positing different theories that actually lined up with the evidence presented?

That got people thinking, and everyone realized that for a variety of reasons we all had reasonable doubts that the defendent had committed any of the crimes of which he was accused.

Being able to raise reasonable doubt among a jury of one's peers saves lives. If you get the chance, take it.

[genderkoolaid]

"Jury Room / The Holdout" (1959) by Norman Rockwell. One of my favorites of his. Particularly the gendered dynamic he depicts here.

[iconuk01]

I'm very proud of my countrymen for introducing America to the world of the proper football chant.

None of this cheerleader stuff for soccer, oh no sireee, I mean, no disrespect to cheerleaders who put a LOT of work and effort into their performances, but somehow "Rah-Rah! We're the best" from peppily gymnastic young things can't quite match the sheer power of entire stadiums of grown up fans yelling at the top of their lungs things like....

It's unclear if this one originated with the English of Scottish games (spelling of "old" as "auld" notwithstanding), but either way, well done.

And it's striking home too! :D

Sportsball holds no interest for me, but that doesn't mean I can't respect the participation aspects sometimes.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

The rotting jack-o'-lantern's aides and cabinet have apparently been scrambling to keep him from watching any of the world cup games with English speaking crowds, because so many of the chants have been about Epstein and him.

This includes keeping him from presenting the winners trophy at the final game, because can you IMAGINE sixty thousand international fans with a live target for those chants? He might shit himself to death on the spot.

[breelandwalker]

.....Promise?

[demilypyro]

Hey, asking for some media analysis assistance here: Everyone is hyped about Jax TADC being a trans woman, but it feels kinda "bury your gays" to me. Like, the Vibes(tm) were there before she abstracted, but there was no confirmation at all. The only narrative exploration we get of her being trans is after her death, and it's just the final tragedy of her arc and a bridge for Pomni's arc rather than any lead-in to a more complete understanding of Jax as a character in my view. I guess you could argue that her arc ended where it was always going to, but it feels pretty bad that the trans woman is revealed as trans right as she fucking dies and exits the narrative so her only influence is everyone else grieving her. But everyone else I talk to is happy about this narrative beat, rejoicing, and so on. What am I missing?

(if you don't want to publish this because it's spoilers, understandable, no worries)

I mean, frankly, I think that's just kind of an uncharitable interpretation.

Long story short, Jax's death is kinda the point of the story. Jax didn't just die *because* she was trans, she died because she couldn't trust others enough to overcome her personal trauma, and that's where the tragedy comes from. She was punished for sharing something personal with her mother, and that trauma meant she couldn't make genuine connections with the people around her. She became isolated and self-hating, and then died alone. It's a realistic, common tragedy for someone traumatized in the way she was. She's not being killed off at the last minute for being too queer, in fact I'm willing to bet that's why it's left "ambiguous." Jax died without any of the other people in the circus or anyone in the audience really understanding why, and we only truly come to understand why she acted the way she did because Pomni works so hard to find out. Jax being trans is an important part of the recipe here, but it's not the sole reason she died.

People are happy because this is a very human story. It's a sad one, but it's real, it's true to life. Our stories are often sad. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't be happy to see our stories represented in such a big way. Digital Circus started out as a super tiny production, but it became gigantic almost immediately. How many indie web shows do you know that have theatrical releases? For a deeply human story about a traumatized trans woman to play out on such a big stage... Like it or not, it's a landmark moment. So of course people are happy. It feels like we got away with something huge. This doesn't typically happen.

[user-boxes-idk]

anti AI userboxes

[importantbusinessdinosaur]

[notbecauseofvictories]

"impulse buy" (noun) anything I have been low-key thinking about purchasing for 3 months, an item that subsequently spent 24-48 hours in my cart as I went through each and every state of grief, and which I then bought, in a desperate, the-guilt-can't-get-me-if-I'm-fast-enough rush.

[titleknown]

Blogging this tweet because this explains SO MUCH about the mindset of pretty much all the folks I’ve known who’re against single-payer, it’s not even funny…

[hopesterling]

This….

This never occurred to me. Not once. That Americans are against Health Care because they think it actually costs tens of thousands of dollars for a broken arm, hundreds of thousands for a complicated birth, millions for cancer treatment.

Because they’ve never known anything different. The idea that a broken arm is only a couple hundred bucks; a complicated birth a couple thousand; cancer treatment only tens of thousands; all easily covered by existing tax structures.

[withasmoothroundstone]

This explains a lot.  And it’s a good example of what I was talking about in my post on scarcity being used to prop up ableism – always question the idea that a resource is genuinely scarce.  Even if it seems obvious that it is, quite often that’s the result of careful manipulation and misconceptions that you’re not even aware of.  

And never think you’re too smart to be fooled by that kind of thing, it doesn’t work like that.  Similarly, don’t think people who are fooled by something are stupid.  Nobody can have all the information about everything, and nobody has the time and energy to investigate and put together conscious conclusions about every piece of information they’re given.  It doesn’t take being stupid, or even just gullible, to believe something like this.

[lizardtitties]

I currently live in a country without free medical care and still, it’s enormously cheap compared to the USA. An American expat wrote a piece for our English language paper about how she paid more for parking at the hospital than giving birth to her baby that’s pretty interesting:

https://grapevine.is/mag/articles/2016/01/06/healthcare-in-iceland-vs-the-us-weve-got-it-so-good/

[thebibliosphere]

Yesterday I had to go to the hospital cause I injured my eye, I’m frankly dreading what the bill is going to be, but what made me balk was being told in the pharmacy that my insurance was denied for the antibiotic eye drops and it’d be over $100 out of pocket. So I didn’t get my eyedrops.

I’ve had these same drops before living in the UK. They cost me seven GBP.

It’s the exact same drug, same steroid, same strain of antibiotic. But somehow the US gets away with charging $100 for a generic non brand version of a drug which is easy to create and widely used. It’s downright robbery, but also a form of eugenics through poverty and class warfare. You keep the poor poor by making sure basic necessities remain unattainable and then you make it seem like the norm so no one fights it.

The rest of the world is not like this.

Eat the rich. Resist.

[dyannehs]

When I was travelling in Germany once, I seriously hurt my ankle. In a few hours, it had swollen to twice its size, and I went to a little ER in a tiny town. I spoke no German and only one nurse spoke English. They ran an X-ray and an MRI to determine what had happened (turned out I had bruised my peroneus brevis muscle and pulled the tendon), gave me a ton of very regulated meds for the pain and swelling, including some supports so I could walk…and my poor little 22-year-old ass was sat there, knowing all of this would cost thousands, if not tens of thousands, back in the US. I was shaking.

I’m in the exam room, post diagnosis and with pill bottles in hand, and in walks the one nurse I’ve been able to speak to the entire time. She pats my hand and tells me (and this is verbatim—I will never forget this conversation as long as I live), “I’m so sorry. We had to run those tests, and they are expensive. You don’t have insurance so you will have to cover the full cost.”

I start crying.

She continues, softly, as if telling me someone has died, “It’s going to be three hundred.”

I start sobbing, certain I’ve misheard, certain that I would be absolutely fucked, broke and going into debt in a foreign country. “Thousand?” I clarify.

Her entire demeanor changed, and she looked at me as if I had sprouted four extra heads. “No,” she says, “euros.”

That moment radicalised me.

[queern-bn]

My family got charged several thousand dollars for a late-night trip to the ER when I was a kid after an oops at home resulted in a large cut that needed almost 40 sutures. We lived in the US at the time.

Now we live in Canada. Last year my leg got rolled over by one of the front tires on a pickup truck. I spent 3 weeks in hospital, had 3 surgeries, one of which included skin grafting to cover the half of my leg that was degloved in my accident. I had IV antibiotics 4 times a day, I had physiotherapy daily, I was on a lot of meds for pain and having complex wound dressings changed every day. After all that, I had a home care nurse visit me every 1-2 days for 6 weeks to help with my wound care. The greatest expense to us as a family for the amazing care I received was my parents and husband using the parkade next to the hospital, which was like $13 a day. If we’d lived in the US, that injury absolutely could have bankrupted us.

[cranquis]

This information needs to be part of the US med school curriculum.

[beaniebaneenie]

I remember the moment that radicalized me.

I went to the UK for graduate school, and being there for that long meant I had to buy insurance for the duration. 18 months was something like £800 (this was in the early 2010’s). I, being American, figured “oh ok, that’s the premium and if I need serious medical care, I’ll get charged deductibles and all other kinds of fees at the time of care), because that’s how it works here.

Some time in the early part of that winter, I got incredibly sick. I’m immunocompromised, so sometimes that happens. But being a broke ass grad student in a foreign country, and dealing with unrelated financial abuse from family members, I figured I couldn’t afford going to the hospital. I figured I’d go to their version of Walgreen’s (Superdrug, and yes that is really that store’s name, load up on cough drops, some OTC meds, and try to ride it out as best I could.

One of my friends in my program came over to check on me and offer help. When she got to my room and saw how sick I was, she asked why I hadn’t gone to hospital. I was near tears and said I couldn’t afford it.

This is when I suspect my friend knew she was dealing with an American who was ignorant of how socialized healthcare actually worked, and realized that I couldn’t really be reasoned with. So she said, “I’ll pay for it- let’s go.”

Off we went to hospital, my friend did the talking bc my voice was so shot. The receptionist said, “as you don’t have an appointment, you may need to wait quite a bit.” I heard that and figured 5+ hours was at least what I was in for.

23 minutes later, my name was called.

My friend went back with me, bc I was pretty out of it. The nurse leading us back apologized for the “huge wait” because having a sick patient wait “nearly half an hour just for medical care” was unacceptable. I was stunned.

The nurse and doc asked some questions, looked at the medical records I had on my phone (bc I was a foreigner with very little medical history in the country), did a few rapid tests. The whole time, I’m seeing an old-timey calculator ringing up charges and freaking out… even though my friend said she’d pay, I was so conditioned to believe this would cost a fortune.

About 30 mins later, the rapid tests confirm I have both bronchitis and pneumonia. Doc writes me a prescription for some serious heavy-duty meds. My American ass is thinking, “ok, so now I go home, wait for 4 days for the pharmacy to fill it, then go get it.” The doc tells me that there’s a pharmacy counter on the way out, and I can stop there to collect the meds before heading home.

I’m skeptical but thank him. My friend gets me to the pharmacy counter. I give my name and hand over the paper, fully expecting to be told that it’ll take days to fill. The pharmacist turns around, pulls a bag off the shelf, hands it to me. Because my meds were already filled and waiting.

Me: you had them already?

Pharmacist: of course- there’d be no point in sending you home without medication, that’s why you came here. To get medical help.

Me: that’s so fast? (I am very confused)

Pharmacist: well, we expect people to have these illnesses at a higher rate this time of year, so we do our best to stock up on our end.

Me: that’s so nice? Also, what do I owe you?

Pharm: sorry, love?

Me: what do I owe you? For the medication? And the visit. All of it, how much do I need to pay?

Chat, her whole fact changed. She realized I didn’t just sound funny because I was in respiratory distress. I had an American accent. She reached over and patted my hand.

“Love, that’s what the health insurance is meant to be for. You’ve already paid for this. We’re not taking extra money off you, we don’t do that here.”

The entire visit was less than 2 hours, absolutely free, and everyone worked to be as efficient as possible in the goal of providing comprehensive healthcare for me, the patient.

Once I got home with the meds, I did actually recover pretty well (and relatively quickly, as far as I’m concerned). I talked to the friend after, and she admitted that she knew it was going to be free, but that I wouldn’t or couldn’t understand that in the brain fog of serious illness, so she said what she had to in order to get my stubborn (and terrified of bankruptcy) ass to the doctor.

That’s what healthcare should be. A goal of providing comprehensive and compassionate care to your patients, being well-staffed enough that no one waits for hours, anticipating medication needs, ensuring that patients leave with the medical care they sought- and that they’re not afraid to seek it, because they know medical care won’t make them homeless.

[elodieunderglass]

I love that friend in the story. Yep. Absolutely. She’ll pay for it.

[jv]

What no one tells the USians is that in the countries where we get free healthcare, you can usually also get private insurance. Usually from the same companies that offer it in the US.

Here is Spain is basically a parallel health system: they have their own hospitals, their own medical centers. Private insurance is often offered by companies as a perk.

In my experience the private system is a bit less trustworthy than the public system, but it’s ok when you want to do some tests and not have to wait to get an appointment, or for example, things that are not that well covered in the public system (getting an official ADHD diagnosis in the public system can take a long long time, etc).

But here is the catch. I’ve just gone to Cigna’s website and entered my family data. This is how much it cost to get full coverage for a family of four with Cigna in Spain:

180€ / month, for the four of us. Not 180€ each, 180€ total.

And here’s the second catch: the concept of deductible doesn’t exist here. When you get private insurance, your deductible is always 0, you never pay a single euro for visits, tests, anything.

This is the same Cigna that works in the US. No one forces them to be in Spain, if they are here is because they make money insuring 4 people, no deductibles, full coverage, for 180 bucks a month.

[e17omm]

I’ve done surgeries like, 3 or 4 times and I dont think it has cost my family more than 200$. Maybe a little above, but definitely not over 300$. (Not counting medication)

I take out meds like, every 2-3 months and they cost between 20$ to 80$, depending on what time of year it is due to high-cost protection. If I spend more than 300$ on medication in a year, it’ll be free. Of course I cant hoard it, I cant grab as much as I want, but it gets cheaper over the course of the year until the high-cost protection resets.

Seeing Americans be used to 10,000$+ medical bills is pure insanity to me.

[msbarrows]

I hope I'm online when it happens. I want to see a sudden flood of crab rave memes right after refreshing my dash, and in the middle of it all, the Castiel news meme. That's how I want to learn of it; not through anything solemn or serious, but via overwhelming silly celebration.

[demilypyro]

Hey Demily, you have fantastic media analysis. Can you think of any reason why Mateo in TADC didn't trans their gender in the epilogue? I feel like doing everything expect Jax going "I wana be a women" and then to have their real world counterpart just continue along feels cowardly or like a cop out... But you are the expert, so I would love to hear your thoughts on it.

as if this isn't a level 9 boymoder who's about to prestige

[demilypyro]

i'm literally always right

[cannibalcaprine]

really funny datapoint

[cock-holliday]

wish literally any gay papers would talk about lil nas x cause every article is either written with contempt OR makes sweeping assumptions by only quoting the cops and blatantly lies about things they contradict in their own article. like how is there no coverage of support or efforts to keep an eye on his location?

shortest possible story is that he he got arrested and hospitalized after walking around outside at night, MAYBE having 'an episode', MAYBE he was drunk, maybe he was high, maybe he was just being loud, who knows. Dude was outside at night in boxers and cowboy boots and that's all he did to "invite" police interaction.

But cops claimed he assaulted them so he gets arrested. Then goes to the hospital. Then goes back into custody.

And then he's not heard of for a while, then days later says he's out and okay. But facing FELONY charges!

WHERE IS EVERYONE? Pinknews cunts? Them? OutMag? Hello??

[cock-holliday]

View this post on Instagram

Almost a year later, Lil Nas X is out of a mental health rehab program, looking good, saying he feels really good, and seems to be on the way up after all of this. I'm really happy for him. I hope he has good genuine support in his life through family, friends, and folks rooting on him that he can count on.

I am really disappointed but not surprised how quickly a lot of media support for him disappeared, especially queer papers. An interview from before the police incident really highlighted how many people wanted him to fail and wanted to see him fall, including certain pockets within communities that should have has his back.

Happy Happy Pride to Lil Nas X. I hope nothing but good things come his way.

[wheelie-sick]

sometimes people experiencing psychosis and/or mania will come up to you on the street and talk in confusing or upsetting ways. your job is to either have a regular human-to-human conversation with that person or politely leave. your job is not to call 911. do not call 911. you might kill that person if you call 911.

[wheelie-sick]

I don't even have the energy to screenshot and respond to your tags- what the actual fuck is wrong with you? "the cops are scared and rightfully so" "mental health calls are the scariest for cops" OH so this isn't about the safety of psychotic & manic people this is about piggy feelings?

and no, actually, this is not USA specific and no, actually, people from other countries should not ignore this post. police violence and sanism weren't invented in the US and they are certainly not unique to here. if you (or anyone) thinks that this bullshit doesn't happen elsewhere then you are not listening.

[headspace-hotel]

cops r Some Guy with a Gun

do we want Some Guy with a Gun in this situation? answer is usually "NO"

[uncivilliberties]

This is legitimately useful reframing. A while ago I started replacing the word "cop" in my vocabulary with "a man with a gun." It really puts things into perspective.

This homeless person is making me uncomfortable. Should I call [a man with a gun]?

My neighbor is having a loud party. Should I get [a man with a gun] involved?

There are some teenagers skateboarding. Do you think [a man with a gun] would get rid of them for me?

It makes it very clear what you're saying. I can call a man with a gun to threaten or hurt someone mildly inconveniencing me. You're not calling the cops, you're calling A MAN WITH A GUN into a situation that does not warrant a firearm handled by a volatile lunatic who will not be held accountable for his actions.

[headspace-hotel]

^ ^ ^

[theoutcastrogue]

  Countries and territories with routinely unarmed police officers [x]

iffy map alert, arguably china should be blue (it's complicated), but eh, the point stands