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He escaped in his own home last Tuesday after school. Only two days into the week had passed, three if you count Sunday, and his kitchen floor already swallowed him whole. Or at least that’s what they told his parents. I think they see his limbs folded neatly in the corner. I think he left them there. I think he didn’t actually want to leave, but he had to. He had sucked this place dry. Or this place sucked him dry. Either way someone got fucked. I religiously asked him when he would leave. He never heard me. Saturday night I asked him how long would he stay. He told me a few more days.I don’t think he remembered. He religiously remembered to forget about God though.He told me he where he was going didn’t include God. I think he just didn’t count Sundays.

#trigger warning #heartbreak #poetry #prose

I slipped yesterday in the mud behind my house. I kind of just laid there because I thought I was going to cry. I hadn’t cried in almost a year. Now wasn’t the time to start. There was a thunderstorm; it lasted all day. I like when the lightning strikes while I’m walking outside. Maybe if it struck me, I would absorb Zeus’ power. I remember how you did. You were so beautiful; all that electricity running through your flesh. You became the sky. I like to think it rains so much here because you weep for me. You probably don’t. All the stars adore you. They are glowing, fiery gas and I am skin filled to the brim with carbon. I laid in the mud yesterday behind the house because the tears you cried for me finally started to make a mess that I wasn’t going to drown in.

#zeus #lightning #recovery #love #heartache #heartbreak

How to heal:

There’s no way around this. You have to stop. Stop making excuses, stop blaming it on other people, stop feeling sorry for yourself. It’s harsh but it’s the truth. I know it’s hard. I know. It’s hard when you’re 9 years old and you always have your backpack stuffed because you are always ready to run even if your legs hadn’t fully developed yet. It’s hard when you stop talking when you’re 12 because no one listens and no one cares to listen even if you did. It’s hard when you’re 13 and you find your suicide note from when you’re 9. You weep because it’s so intricate for such a young mind. You weep because you should’ve been concerned with the newest toy and your favorite TV show but you were concerned with how to make your death look like a freak accident. It’s hard when you’re 14 and you slam your head against walls because maybe if you hit hard enough these sinister thoughts will fall out.

It’s hard when you’re 14 and you’re sick of feeling like this. It’s either get better and live or don’t live. Your mother doesn’t know how she’s hurting you and when you tell her she will try to fix it. Remember you hear her cry sometimes too. Your best friend stopped talking to you because you stopped talking first. You can’t expect her to wait around forever. She’s ready when you are. When these old days come back to haunt you remember how you cast them out the first time. It’s gonna be hard but you can’t sit in your room to hide because he already knows you’ll be there. Join a sport, maybe one you wouldn’t imagine yourself doing. He can’t find you somewhere you’ve never been. Keep moving, and take breaks when needed. You will wear him out and exhaust him and he will die. You won’t remember his claws sunk into your back. You won’t remember the cold mist of his breath. This time when the Grim Reaper shows up you won’t be ready for him.

And you will be healed.

#hurtfriends #recovery #depression #poetry #poems #prose

I feel everything and nothing all at once. I can’t feel my own emotions in my palms only those of other people and like osmosis I absorb them all and they become mine. I erase other people’s names off their feelings and write my name on top even though I have my own, I wish I did not have my own. I am unapologetic and I apologize to everyone. I am always so sorry sorry sorry, I am never sorry. I want to fall in love but love right now is kinda a waste of my time I mean modern romance is so cute but if this is what modern romance looks like leave me out of it. I am soft and gentle and I am all blood tinted lightning. I am both a Pandora bracelet and a Pandora box. I straddle the line between heaven and hell and my angels have horns to kill with. I am a walking paradox and you better get used to it because I already did.

- Sometimes I can breathe even though I’m drowning

#spilled ink #poetry #hurt #love #prose

You look deep inside yourself and you don’t see love you see lust and your veins don’t contain blood they are filled with salt water. The ocean swells in your skin; you’ve always felt calm under water, You’re 9 and you hold your head under the bathtub faucet because maybe you could grow gills and swim away before it’s too late.You’re 13 you painted your room blue and you thought bath water looked better with three parts water one part blood. It isn’t death it’s art I tell your family but death is art you tell me. I think death isn’t beautiful, it’s dark how could it possibly be art and you told me art isn’t beautiful either. We’re 15 and you become part anchor and you hold everyone down and you tell them to cut the rope and set you free and I tell them they could bring you back and you tell me you are long gone. I’m 16 I tell your family you’re a mermaid and they believe me and you tell me you’re so much worse. You look so pretty and perfect and you sing such beautiful songs and no one sees your blood stained teeth and no one knows your song is a battle cry in a war you’re losing. They see your scales and say you’re mythical and things like you should be.

- Oceans are made of houses and reflections

#trigger warning #poetry #sad #prose #spilled ink

Softness or savagery: My savage wants to hunt but my soft will not let her.

Where do you write, in what: I write in the bodies of other people, I can not understand my own emotions

Supernatural event: Once I saw a devil love an angel but the angel refused to love her in return. Sometimes the bad are inherently good. And the good are sometimes wicked.

What you would like to see more of in contemporary literature: Emotion personified because we aren’t made of carbon we are made of singing birds and flooding streets.

What will stop you: My savage over powers my soft and I won’t know who she is anymore.

#discussion 3/13/15 #nosebleed club #hurtfriends #poetry #nb prompts

Darling you had a break down yesterday when your mom screamed at your boyfriend. Darling you yelled her name and ran away and you scared everyone there. Darling they think you're crazy. Your limit was broken and no one is sympathetic and they don’t want to understand. It isn’t my job to cry for you, you need a crutch and I cannot be spineless. They’re thinking about locking you up. I cried for you when you couldn’t. They don’t use crazy sparingly, darling. Broken leg does not mean paralyzed. Broken emotions does not mean crazy. I told your mother to get you help but pretending the monster isn’t there is a hell of a lot easier than staring it in the face. You and I never liked the easy way. Darling, they’re gonna quarantine you. They don’t want all that psycho infecting others. Someone needs to tell them that you can tame the wolf Someone needs to tell them that you can shove the tornado back in your chest. So what if you howl too loud sometimes So what if you’re internal dam broke, you can rein it back in we can rein it back in why didn’t they listen when we told them that the pressure was too high and it was cracking you why don’t they ever fucking listen until its too late why won’t they listen now they need to stop and listen. Darling, you are sick. You can get better. You’ve felt what better looks like. Darling, they’re gonna take you away. Darling, please don’t let them.

-They won’t listen when I tell them depression is a cancer that can be recovered from

#depression #trigger warning #mental illness #inkskinned #prose #I dont really like how this turned out but I think i got my point across

I'm so sick of being sorry, when you never were

The wolf inside me isn’t merciless (10 word poem)

#10 word story #spilled ink #heartbreak #unforgiveness #inkskinned

Poetry Prompts

1. halloween 2. mermaids 3. tropic of capricorn 4. report card 5. your best friend blowing up your phone 6. your best friend rushing to your house 7. tangier 8. hospital waiting room 9. perseus 10. oregon

-nosebleedclub hurtfriends

(My followers vote on 1-10 and pick the one you want to see written fully)

1. It's a diversion, not a holiday. Pretend to be something scary so you can pretend you're not something horrifying.

2. i.e. Halloween. You look so pretty and perfect and you sing such beautiful songs and no one sees your blood stained teeth and no one knows your song is a battle cry in a war you're losing. They see your scales and say you're mythical and things like you should be.

3. Runs North to South like the Mississippi River, splitting us in half down the middle.

4. Report cards show how well you are in English even though every sonnet is death at a masquerade. Your heart beats Iambic Pentameter, and you don't know how to live.

5. She's wondering where I am and where I've been and why I'm not answering but truth be told I'm not really sure. I called this rabbit hole home for so long until I can't remember where I laid down my trail to go back. I answer, "I'm somewhere that I can't return from, and you shouldn't come look for me because I'm sure this is quicksand and I don't want to drag you down with me."

6. He enters my house and waits for me and I dare not go in. He knows he's cornered me in my own home, and I ask why. A sly grin slides across his face and he whispers, "I know you better than you know yourself" and I wish I didn't play with fire because he leaves a burn you can't heal.

7. Foreign cities hold so much more than the one I am.

8. Sanitizer. To cleanse myself of you. Heart Monitors. To make sure I still have one. IV. To nourish the parts you abused. Gown. To feel exposed, even when no one is watching. Waiting Room. To provide a space to wait out this tragedy.

9. No prince is gonna save you from the world you've named Dragon. Don't wait around for him because when he's here, he won't be able to slay it anyway. You've got to be your own Perseus.

10. A road travelled by many, but each with a different purpose. Each with meaning as special as the last.

#hurtfriends #idk why this is so dark #trigger warning #poetry prompts #inkskinned #this is prolly not good but *shrugs shoulders*

I've always loved a good comedy.

You fill me with empty promises. It's ironic. Irony is funny. I laugh until I cry to hide the pain in my abdomen. This time the pain doesn't come from laughter.

"I promise we'll meet up again." I smile and save the date. The date comes around, but you don't. I laugh. April Fools Day must last all year.

"I promise I'll make it up to you." Fool me once, joke's on you, fool me twice joke's on me. It's always a joke. There's always a punchline. Is it really funny if you're the only one laughing? Is it funny if you're the punchline?

You kept your promises to someone who didn't ask for them. She made you empty promises. Irony is funny. Don't you think so?

-Betrayal: In it's purest form

#spilled ink #poetry #inkskinned #betrayal #heartbreak

-"I don't think poetry was meant to be stitches that held us together"

#poetry #inkskinned #loneliness #spilled ink #loud poetry

MY NAME IS WATER.

You don't take me seriously. You jump in me and make a mess and I look comforting and I look calm. I contain beasts the devil would be afraid of. I've drowned people like you, muffling their screams, keeping my composer. I extinguish daring flames. I cannot be scorched. I am tasteless in your mouth and I am necessary to survive. I bring peace. I evoke fear. I have no definition. I am always changing. I am gentle rain and an oncoming storm.

MY NAME IS FEMALE

You don't take me seriously. You come in my life and make a mess, and I look quiet and easy. I contain beasts the devil would be afraid of. I've unraveled people like you, tearing their life apart at the seams, keeping my composure. I put out fires. I cannot be burned. I am ignored literature and I am necessary to survive. I bring peace. I evoke fear. I have no definition. I am always changing. I am gentle rain and an oncoming storm.

-"When they call women too 'gentle', say 'Like water?'"

#feminism

You can not go to hell if you are hell.

- I am an angel that refuses to fall

#10 word story #spilled ink #darkness #dark poetry #hell

The ocean is calm, but it can still drown you.

- Oh, how we find beauty in things that destroy (10 word story)

#life quotes #spilled ink #10 word story #inkskinned #ocean

He gives me fucking whiplash

- And I enjoy the stomach drops on the way down (5 word story)

#love #life #5 word story #relationships