Getting Stuck aka The Ostrich & The Lightbulb
 After months of guessing and throwing out assumed numbers. Of secretly hoping I could just wait this thing out & never have to formally acknowledge it. Of playing more games with myself than a casino in Vegas. I lady-ed up and stepped on the scale.
 As you may have guessed from the lack of activity on my little micro-blog, my tiny break has been WAY longer than I planned or frankly needed. And while I easily rationalized to myself exactly what had happened and why (I took a break to be realistic about my BD/holidays, I’ve probably only gained 7-9 lbs, it should equalize & then I’ll just get back on the horse, etc), I was reluctant to actually STEP on the scale & make my suppositions reality.
I didn’t want to enter in a gain into my fitness pal. I didn’t want this to be REAL. I didn’t want to feel like I’d failed. So I ignored it. I simply decided NOT to weigh myself. I told myself I’d just start exercising again and then I’d lose the extra curves and it would be like this had never happened.
 Except that didn't happen. I had a moment of motivation around the time my friends were all running marathons, but I wasn’t working out. I watched what I was eating, kind of, sort of, maybe, when I felt like it. But I wasn’t logging into the site regularly. Me. The girl who logged in her food & exercise while overseas.  Â
I was hiding. I even rationalized that and told myself the numbers for calories needed weren’t really right anyway if I had gained… And even then I WOULD NOT just STEP on the SCALE.
 So, finally, after a day of flu (I’m not perfect, I’m real) I did it. I weighed myself.
 6 pounds. It’s not as scary as I thought. The world hasn’t ended. And yes I put it into my weight tracker. And no I didn’t even check to see if it would broadcast that to my friends before I logged it in. Guess what? It feels AMAZING!!!! There’s nothing to hide behind. No more excuses. I’ve been liberated from myself. I don't feel like a failure - I feel like a ROCKSTAR.Â
Seems completely counterintuitive hmmm? I've fought for, struggled with, cried about, and painfully eeked out every pound lost last year. I had near panic attacks about group trips simply because I didn't know what I would eat. I literally said to friends "I'm not on vacation" while we ate meals in Disney World, tracking every single calorie I consumed, good or bad. How could I be okay with a six pound weight gain? Had I simply lost it?
 Then came my “lightbulb moment”: This journey has been all about accountability for me. I’m successful when I’m accountable. I flounder when I’m not.  And I couldn’t be accountable to myself if I wouldn’t even step on my scale.
 Everyone’s journey to being healthy is going to be different. I don't know what your struggle is or what obstacles you face. But I do know we have to be honest & accountable if we’re going to be successful in the long run. I wish this for you today & every day.