Ophelia

28 - Gay brainrot account (Dragon Age, bg3)

[quezify]

mike flanagan is anti-horror. grey brown netflix sludge, tenderness without intimacy. his little limp dick narratives are skin deep, no flesh no blood, no honest exploration of the works of art that he's being lauded for willfully misunderstanding. "from the heart and soul of mike flanagan" is oxymoronic and stupid and as trite as his FUCK NOTHING television shows and movies.

[opheraphernalia]

The theses of Flanagan's shows are all middle-class hallmark-film liberal fuzzy-feels gruel.

Hill House? "The american nuclear family is literally the magical purpose of everything."

Bly Manor? "The working class should know their place (here's some lesbians though)."

Midnight Mass? "Under certain specific circumstances sometimes christian priests (who break with vatican doctrine) can be kind of bad (but christianity is okay really!) 🥺👉👈"

The House of Usher? "Opioids, the whitest societal problem, are literally satan. Also meh capitalism's kinda nasty but the working class basically deserves what it gets and the main tragedy with billionaires is - wait for it - they don't care about their american nuclear families. Also the worst fate that satan can deal is that you die without a genetic legacy."

and nobody cares about The Midnight Society but it's basically just The Fault in Our Stars with a hippie cult.

[paksthestoic]

harry kim gets janeway a birthday gift. he’s very proud, wraps it in a bow and everything. she opens it in her ready room.

it’s a black t-shirt with bad graphic art of a wolf howling at the moon and it says “throw me to the wolves and I’ll come back leading the pack”. you know, the kind of thing boomer dads that imagine themselves protectors eat up.

she loves it. has to wipe a tear from her eye. it becomes the new pajama shirt. kathryn janeway working until two in the morning in her quarters in the stupid wolf shirt with a mug that says “quadrant’s best captain” on it.

[sun-dari]

literally every character who's been mind controlled and made to do terrible things feels awful and has trouble accepting that it wasn't their fault, meanwhile minthara baldursgate is like remorse is for losers and i didn't do anything wrong in my entire life ever

[opheraphernalia]

RIP Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager you would have loved romantasy.

[opheraphernalia]

Merrill x Isabela is a cute ship, but I ultimately can't get behind it; not because I think they wouldn't be good for each other, but because I don't see how it would *start.*

Isabela's whole romance arc is that she has a whole mess of bullshit standing in the way of her trusting someone with her heart (and feeling like *she* is worthy of someone else's trust, which ofc is complicated too, because she does actually unambiguously betray Hawke at the end of act 2), so it takes fully seven years of friendship, four of which are spent a sort of FWB situation with Hawke (or Fenris), for her to feel comfortable admitting that she actually does want to love and be loved.

Merrill doesn't initially think she's worthy of being loved, but that feels like it's mostly a result of her being a bit of an outcast among the Dalish and an outsider in Kirkwall: she's not accustomed to people liking her in any capacity. Once she and Hawke have known each other for a while, she pretty actively seeks Hawke out and makes her feelings clear, and thereafter she doesn't seem to shy away from affection, because she just doesn't have all that many hangups about romance or sexuality.

Now, I could just about see Merrill building up the courage to approach Isabela like she did Hawke, but Isabela was at no point ready for someone else to approach her with outwardly romantic intentions. She and Hawke were just hooking up occasionally, for years, and then *she* brought it up to *Hawke* that she had actually fallen in love.

I'm not sure if Merrill would ever have been satisfied with an FWB situation, with Isabela or anyone else. Maybe she would. Maybe she could have gotten to Isabela that way. But Isabela would never have done that with her, because *Isabela does not respect Merrill.*

It's kind of a crucial thing about Merrill: she's nervous with the new life she's been forced to lead, and as a result, every. single. character. mistakes her discomfort for naïvete. Merrill is actually just about the boldest and most courageous character in the whole damn game, but EVERYBODY underestimates her, including Isabela. Isabela would never hook up with Merrill in the first place, because she would worry about hurting the poor widdle elf girl's delicate widdle heart.

Isabela does not respect Merrill enough to have casual sex with her, and Isabela is furthermore too fucked up about romance to launch directly into a relationship with Merrill. So I could just about see Merrill falling for Isabela, but Isabela can never see Merrill as anything more than a little sister.

[dalishious]

Hmmm not done ranting about how dirty Dragon Age treats Merrill actually! Because you know what else bothers me? The fact that it's regarded as a dangerous and naïve thing for Merrill to want to rediscover elven history. But when Morrigan wants to do it, she's written as having the grace and confidence that you should support.

I'm not drawing conclusions from nothing btw. Even Charlotte Reber's book, the behind the scenes look at Dragon Age 2, uses Merrill as an example of when it's a "better outcome" to disagree:

"Merrill is easy to befriend by aiding in her personal quest—but her path is one that leads towards tragedy and self-destruction, and supporting her risky decisions can result in the death of not just her mentor, but her entire clan." —pg. 84 "In fact, Hawke disagreeing with a party member’s actions sometimes arguably leads to the better outcome for everyone involved. In Merrill’s personal quest, for example, helping her repair an ancient elven artifact can result in the deaths of both her mentor and her entire clan." —pg. 109

(I will reiterate that I can't understand how any of those deaths are Merrill's fault.)

[thewardenisonthecase]

so not only does aveline not give any good reason as to why she likes donnic. but also. donnic doesnt expresses any interest in aveline at all and then during the hanged man explicetly says that he doesnt like the whole shy and anxious cant talk thing, that he prefers someone with a backbone. which is what aveline is not doing like the whole quest is her being the exact type of person he said he Doesnt like since she cant actually talk to him. so i once again beg the question. how in the ever loving fuck am i supposed to believe they like each other enough to get married.

[jaebird88]

[opheraphernalia]

The illusion of choice 🤭🩷🧡🤍🥰

[markodragic]

minthara @ the rest of the party when you recruit her in act 2

[vigilskept]

btw do we think urthemiel realized she was trans after solas locked her up in the black city?

[vigilskept]

diversity win! this archdemon is actually a trans woman 🏳️‍⚧️

[charlataninred]

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

[meraarts]

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

[eater-of-hopes-and-dreams]

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

[blitzlowin]

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)

The Monster of Sentan

The Witch’s Cat

Raise Both Children

Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)

Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)

My Arch Nemesis Cynthia

Pirates and Mermaid

Eindred and the Witch

The Demon King

The Cornerwitch

Grandmother Beetroot

Apocalypse Daycare Worker

Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon

New Year Saga

A Story About Changelings

Ranger in the King’s Forest

The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit

Goblin Men (Canines)

[charlataninred]

I am in love with you /p

[paksthestoic]

one thing i love about about kathryn janeway is that at least twice a season, she is put through circumstances that would legitimately qualify as a villain origin story if she decided to go off the deep end, but she remains good to the best of her abilities.

this woman routinely goes through situations that has her crew thinking “damn I’m glad I don’t have to make that decision”, and even when she errs, she errs on the side of justice and integrity.

the show directly addresses her depression and guilt from her point of view and other characters (namely Tuvok) address it out loud. she is suffering for the choices she made and makes.

Kathryn Janeway is, perhaps, one of the best female examples of a hero that embodies “heavy is the head that wears the crown” while actively abhorring/loving that everything is her decision.

she could be a villain if she wanted, and justify it. with the loyalty her crew shows her circa season 6 and 7, they’d probably justify it for her. she chooses at every turn not to be and I admire that so much.

[toboddly]

voy textposts janeway edition yayyyyyyy

[paksthestoic]

currently thinking about how any time a member of the Voyager crew is kidnapped/missing, Janeway descends with either diplomacy or guns, but a near 100 percent success rate (RIP Hogan and Carey).

This is both out of the simple fact that Voyager can’t afford to lose too many people or it stops functioning, and also Kathryn Janeway has so much guilt that it’s basically walking with her in lockstep everywhere she goes - her albatross, her skeletons in the closet, her constant shadow? Just pick an analogy for inner darkness that appeals and you’ve got her guilt described. She HAS to get them home.

It may seem out of character, then, that any time a member of Voyager wants to leave Voyager voluntarily (See Kes, the Doctor, Neelix), once she gets past her initial stricken grief, she allows it every time. If Voyager can’t afford to lose too many bodies, she should theoretically refuse any attempt to leave with just as much gusto as she puts into rescue missions. Maybe you could skirt that with Kes and Neelix, but the Doctor was undeniably mission critical, and she WOULD have let him go if he hadn’t changed his mind.

Except that it’s perfectly in character because her guilt supersedes the minutiae of running a starship every time when it comes to her people. Every time. She knows full well that she trapped them there. She offers everyone chances to leave the ship (the 37s) or, at the very least, leave her behind (Night). She can’t fathom anyone wanting to stay trapped on her ship of the damned.

So even though she needs all hands, even though she would argue and reason and - depending on the person - plead, any person who genuinely wants to leave Voyager is going to get the patented “eyes full of unshed tears and a smile she doesn’t mean” look and her well wishes. because she’d rather ground the ship and disappear into the sunset like an old dog putting herself out to pasture than keep even one person trapped in a hell she views herself as making for them.

…this has been a ramble. but I think that the main point is that I really believe she’ll hold anyone and anything at gunpoint for the sake of her crew, even if that occasionally means pointing the barrel at her own wants and the ship’s needs.

[opheraphernalia]

Durge: "Uhm... guys? I think I know what's wrong with me. Why I've been so, you know. Weird, lately."

Karlach: "You're a lesbian! Good to know you've finally come to terms with it."

Durge: "Well, yes, actually, but - "

Shadowheart: "Oh? 👀"

Durge: "But that's not what I - "

Minthara: "Truly? Karlach, you had guessed this of our leader, and you never attempted to leverage her obvious lust for you to your advantage? I am disappointed."

Durge: "What? Minthara, that's - look, I'm a Bhaalspawn. I kill people."

Minthara: "Marry me."

Astarion: "A Bhaalspawn? Ooh, yay! I missed this last time!"

Minsc: "Are we not all spawn of balls?"

Jaheira: "Where's the fucking tylenol."

[opheraphernalia]

mask? on.

red wine? flowing.

Mugorssky's Night On Bare Mountain? In the sex playlist.

[sirellas]

the most beautiful woman you've ever seen was a series regular on a bad sci-fi show from 20-40 years ago