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first new art of the year aaaand it's the little spark 🔥
reading books together all night long
Caleb has, verbally, shown so little bloodthirst regarding the people who wronged him. He doesn’t know how he feels. He doesn’t know what he wants. He wants them to change, he wants the pain to stop. He wants to rehabilitate all these murderers under Ikithon because he was one of them and he wants to believe he’s not alone in this, he wants them to get better.
He also takes three steps into the place where he was sealed away like some kind of animal, full of simple (if skilled) guards who are so much lower on the food chain than the assassins Caleb knows… and for the first time ever he starts crushing people to death. Gone is the soft talk and hesitant hope. He asserts that they knew what they were doing. That they were not innocents.
He spent eleven years there. He can’t remember it. He also can’t think of the people who did that to him as people, whether they were actually the ones that guarded him or not.
I think Caleb’s trauma and his ability to react with extreme prejudice when confronted with it often gets underestimated both by the audience and Caleb himself. There’s a really interesting dichotomy that seems to go on with him, in that we’re constantly taken somewhat aback by these breathtaking displays of violence of his, even though they keep happening.
I realised it when we first met Astrid, actually. I don’t know about anyone else, but the revelation that Caleb’s reaction to watching his parents die wasn’t running in to help them, or screaming himself, or even dissociating, but was instead attacking his peers? It surprised the heck out of me.
I don’t think anyone thought that would have been his reaction. All the pieces of fiction or art or meta about that moment that I saw assumed he had a much more passive or help oriented reaction. Even the cast themselves animated that moment as Astrid and Eodwulf stoically walking away from a silent Caleb on his knees in their own animated title sequence.
The fact that we all accepted the image of Caleb, on his knees, silently watching his family burn, is interesting to me. Because I do get why.
When Caleb is forcefully reminded of that moment of extreme grief, he dissociates. He doesn’t react violently when lost in his trauma in that particular way. Add to that that Caleb brushes over the immediate aftermath of his parent’s deaths, which makes it seem like his foggy, clouded state in the Asylum was the instant result of his trauma, and the idea that Caleb reacted passively to his parent’s deaths is a very easy assumption to make.
At this point I believe it’s also indicative of how Caleb sees himself. Caleb hates (hated?) himself, yes, but he doesn’t actually seem to see himself as a violent person. When asked to impress a high level mage from an alien culture, he chose the versatile reskinned Bigby’s Hand, Cat’s Ire. When trying to be intimidating, he uses his words, or points to his friends as threats, or uses Frumpkin as a prop.
He doesn’t seem to give his ease with violence much thought or weight in his own view of himself. I think he assumed he was passive during his years at the Sanitarium, and so therefore assumed that his “breaking” was similar. And if that’s what Caleb thought of himself, why would we think any different?
People don’t tend to think of Caleb as a fighter, least of all Caleb himself. The common view of him is that he’s a hesitant support character. He’s not someone who fans or other characters alike would easily call “bloodthirsty,” especially with him confronting and discussing the man who ruined his life and refusing to commit to killing him.
Everything about how Caleb verbally approaches these traumas shows that he’s not vengeance driven. Revenge has never been part of his game plan, never been something he cared enough to pursue. And because of that palpable lack of bloodthirsty vengeance, because of his soft spoken, cautious demeanor, Caleb is not someone who would generally be picked as having extreme, unrelenting violence as his knee-jerk reaction.
Except that’s exactly what Caleb does when backed into a corner. That’s like his biggest move. Wall of Fire and Fireballing Avantika and her crew on a hair trigger? Bleeding, on the verge of unconsciousness, out of spells, and still managing to deal the killing blow on Lorenzo because he chose violence over any other action? Opening the final fight against Obann by smashing through the window and burning half the cultists to death, because they were that desperate to get Yasha back after two failed attempts?
He woke up after eleven years of being addled, confused and not himself, and immediately killed a guard and broke out of the Assembly’s own Saitarium in the heart of Rexxentrum. He unexpectedly got stabbed by a full-fledged Scourger, and his instant reaction was to beat her over the head with a rock.
And now, he’s infiltrated that same Sanitarium where he was kept only to flip from his desire to redeem those under the Assembly’s thumb to murdering half the people he came across in there with extreme prejudice.
His lack of interest in long-term vengeance is interestingly balanced by his frequent choices to pursue short-term retribution. It’s both his way of protecting his friends and himself, removing the threat and discouraging other threats, but it’s also, in my view, frequently an outlet for his heavily suppressed anger at the people who hurt him and his friends.
Caleb can be a good diplomat, but Caleb rarely chooses to be a diplomat. Caleb can be charming, but Caleb doesn’t like being charming. Caleb can be a good support caster, and Caleb is a support caster! But when he’s too compromised for strategy, when he stops thinking, he starts burning everything in his way. Because Caleb? He likes the way fire feels.
Caleb spent his formative years training to respond to conflict, physical or political, with lethality, and on a much more fundamental level, he is and always has been a man of action.
He took action to get out of the Sanitarium as soon as he was capable. He took action in the Bright Queen’s throne room, made a risky ploy instead of letting them be arrested. He wanted to take action retroactively against his parent’s deaths the second he regained coherency.
Despite what we all assumed, doing nothing in the face of his parent’s deaths was never an option for Caleb, and he wasn’t taught anything that was going to help his parents once the house was on fire and the screams started. So what else was he going to do, after two years of growing into the Scourger mould? When he loses his mind, his ability to think, two of his reasons to care?
Of course it was violence. Of course it was lashing out at the people he must have thought, on some level, as being in his way. Of course it was fire. What else would it be?
And though these circumstances here aren’t the same… there are enough similarities. He’s once again in those familiar halls (in that familiar mindset) where he was treated as a weapon, nothing more. He’s with the people he loves and he knows they’re in danger, again. In fact, they’re in danger from the same people he spent eleven years feeling threatened by, that he viewed as obstacles, whether consciously or not.
He doesn’t want his loved ones to be in danger. He doesn’t want to be surrounded by the guards who he associates with his own helplessness. He especially doesn’t want those two things to go together. And he has never been able to sit idly by when he can act. But what kind of actions can he take? What can he do to get these guards away, away from him, away from his friends, out of his way, right now?
The tried and true method. Not burning, not here, not now, let’s not set a building on fire with his loved ones in it again (though it happened anyway). But no matter. He’s learned a lot of tricks in the last few months.
And hey, don’t worry, Caleb’s not angry. He’s not still working through his own pain and rage at these people. He really does want to heal, not hurt.
It’s just that these ones deserved it.
Papercraft commission of Jester, Caleb, Nott, and Essek (and Frumpkin)! I've been moseying my way through Critical Role and having a lot of fun listening, and was thus very excited for my first time making art of any of the Mighty Nein! (I haven't reached Essek yet but I'm really looking forward to him :D) Plus I always have enormous fun with multi-figure compositions, so this one was extra delightful to make!
solitude of a blue whale, an orufrey comic
okay, so I am notably a "wizard oppression plots are fucking stupid" person, but I would like to say that I genuinely love how C4 is using magic as a political aspect and I think it's worth examining why this is working for me where say, Dragon Age's Mage vs Templar plot fails. this distinction is established by allowing magic to be a metaphor for power not people.
first, magic itself is not being outlawed. there are restrictions on how and when you're allowed to do it and while this hasn't been outright confirmed, I heavily suspect it might be an end goal, who's allowed to practice it. still, the structures at play understand it's usefulness and have no interest in stamping it out entirely, only ensuring that they have a monopoly on it. in fact, it's been implied now that two of the most powerful sundered houses are mostly sorcerers with inherited magic and are greatly invested in maintaining that legacy for their families. therefore, every day magic practitioners in Dol-Makjar are more akin to artists and researchers being censored and criminalized by an oppressive government than a systemically oppressed class of people.
it also allows for the classes to have different flavors that mirror real socio-economic circumstances without having to be rigid one-for-one metaphors that quickly come undone under scrutiny. for instance, not every sorcerer needs to be a stand-in for nepo-babies and I'm not holding my breath to find out what Sundered House Azune is secretly descended from, but in a setting where it seems to matter what and where you draw your power from, Azune having a sorcerer dip does give him a noticeably different character beat than Teor and Vaelus, who are currently pure paladins.
we see this in the other classes as well. wizards and bards like Murray and Hal are academics and artisans who have to study and hone their craft and thus, they and their profession are threatened by taking away the places that allow for that education. I find it a very compelling metaphor that Bolaire, a warlock whose access to the arcane presumably relies on a patron, is explicitly described in his first scene as a non-noble who is allowed to move in the spaces of nobility. there's also something that hits right in the diaspora about how the druids of the Old Path had to keep their traditions alive during the time of the gods, and now they are the group that is most familiar practicing divine magic in their absence. I wouldn't be surprised if the Sundered Houses weren't massive fans of the Old Path, but because of the public pressure to honor the Lloys for their place in the revolution, can't move against them in the same way they can move against the Penteveral.
of course, a lot of this is conjecture and my personal interpretations. we're still very early on, after all. still, what remains are the foundations for a story that is well-equipped to truly explore heavy themes of how oppressive systems work in practice instead of lazily find-and-replacing "gay/black/disabled/etc" people for "wizards." again, it matters where the power is coming from and who is wielding it, and I'm deeply excited to see Murray seize the means of conjuration for the wizard proletariat.
Essek and Caleb with Matt and Liam's hair for warm up sketches
drunkard (id in alt)
glowstone path
Evening coffee ☕🌌
Begging for Oru and Qifrey to catch a break PLEASEEE the last chapters made me go insane. insane !!! It's been so long since I last drew WHA fanart but I'm participating in a fan event so I've been cooking up stuff for months hehehe..
something i have harbored
Character that never got to be a child + character that so desperately wants to be a parent
What's hotter than a wizard?
Localized firestorm
you wanna know what’s so funny is that we’re all like “omg Essek could NOT shut up about Caleb 🥺💕” but like. he absolutely can.
the only times Essek brought up Caleb unprompted/without relevance to the discussion at hand were gesundheit and nighttime sendings lol. of the four uses of the phrase “my partner,” one is an off-handed mention as part of a clarification (“I have not been following the Assembly’s threads; that was more my partner’s purview.”) and the last three all happen in the span of four minutes before Essek exits the episode.
the problem is that within those last four minutes, Essek hit us with
1) showing off a zemnian phrase he learned from Caleb,
2) “he is kind. and he is smart. and he is so strong,” said with such conviction and pride and love that I don’t think I’ll ever recover, and
3) leaving the crafting party to chat with Caleb before bed
which was just. a lot. it was so much and it was so good. so much concentrated shadowgast in those four minutes
this whole ship is built on layered conversations and implications and skirting the obvious (with the exception of the last two minutes of m9 reunited) so to give us four whole minutes of Essek boasting about Caleb, praising Caleb, wanting to go talk to Caleb was particularly potent
thank you Matt Mercer for my life 💕
Caleb, the mighty nein 🧡
Give The Character wings
Thank you u birthed a new AU
&& Bloody Nose From the Devil - a Mighty Nein Wing AU
A person's wings say a lot about them.
Not in a "everyone's special and unique" bullshitty way, but just...the wings tend to match the person. You see someone with harpy wings and someone with chickadee, you kinda know which one you want to fuck with. In a variety of contexts.
Take Jester, for instance. Fucking hummingbird. One look at those iridescent feathers practically beating a hole in the atmosphere and you just know. Then you've got Fjord. Albatross. Keeps them tucked close to his back and jumps out of his skin if they so much as twitch, even when he's trying to act badass. Molly's a superb fairywren because of course he is. Nott's buzzard wings don't work just right, it's like they're clipped or something. Yasha's another one who's weird about her wings, which is a shame because they're swan and would be gorgeous if she ever just-
Anyway. Then there's Caleb.
Caleb, whose wings are so profoundly, distressingly shitty that Beau can't even identify them. No, seriously, they're not just filthy, they're a crime scene. Raven or crow is Beau's first thought, because the coloring is so dark. It kind of checks out, except it doesn't, because nothing about this guy checks out...except the guy himself, sometimes, but that's a whole other thing.
Then Pumat prestidigitates the poor bastard and oh, gods, it was better with the dirt on. There are feathers- not black, she can see now. They're dull, but there's a coppery, cinnamon tone to them -missing in patches, spots where the bones seem...twisted, almost, broken and badly healed. He holds them at a weird angle, too, like he's constantly fighting the reflex to hide behind them. Everybody mostly manages to be normal about it, except Jester, who gives this little "Oh, Caleb..." that's the most heartbreaking shit ever and Beau is pretty sure makes him want to bolt.
Everyone's shocked when he voluntarily participates at the bathhouse. He slips into the water while everyone's preoccupied with Molly's tattoos and the reappearance of Yasha, huddling close to the edge with his wings steadily drawing in more and more around him as she reveals that people have been talking of the Nein's exploits, until he finally ducks under the water entirely.
Turns out he can hold his breath for a really long time.
He comes up for air when the bathwater is refreshed, gasping about the heat as he shakes his head.
"Caleb," Nott says from the edge of the pool. She pokes out her leg, just enough to nudge his head with her foot. It's a weird visual, considering she still looks like Fjord. "C'mere, lemme get your wings."
And...he does. He shifts and turns, angling so that his back is to Nott and his wings are spread- gingerly, stiffly -to give access. Even cleaned thanks to Pumat, they look like they haven't had a proper preening in years. Under Nott's deft fingers, the feathers find some semblance of order, even with Caleb's occasional flinching. He seems to chill out, at least. So much so that he checks out of the conversation entirely in favor of returning the favor, tending to Nott's wings even through the Fjord illusion she's got going. Eventually, he slips out of the bath, wraps up in a towel, and heads to some secluded corner to huddle up with Nott and do her hair while everyone else talks shop.
Beau catches Fjord's eye across the bath and jerks her chin in the others' direction. Keep an eye on them.