Bad Blog, Bad Person

[optimus-prime96]

Bi-Han: Pretty big talk coming from a bipedal corpse.

Hanzo: Pretty big talk coming from a bipedal bitch.

[optimus-prime96]

Ozai getting oblitereted by Aang in Avatar state: If I had any single regret for the countless horrific events that have transpired in my wake... it's that I'm dying.

[optimus-prime96]

Bi-Han: Do you want to know how I actually hurt my wrist?

Tomas: Yes

Bi-Han:  I was hula hooping. Sareena and I attend a class for fitness and for fun. 

Tomas: Oh my god

Bi-Han: I've mastered all the moves. [Shows photos on phone] The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie-doodle. 

Tomas: Why are you telling me this?

Bi-Han: Because no one will ever believe you. [Deletes photos from phone] 

Tomas: You sick son of a bitch.

[optimus-prime96]

Kuai-Liang (watching the news): Some idiot tried to fight a squid at the aquarium

Bi-Han (covered in ink): Maybe the squid was being a dick

[optimus-prime96]

Bi-Han: I'm a very matured person, i apologize when i'm wrong

Kuai-Liang: i've never heard you apologize

Bi-Han: I'm never wrong

[optimus-prime96]

Bi-Han: Last time, I almost killed everybody.

Kaui-Liang: And what did you learn from that?

Bi-Han: Lessons, I guess.

[optimus-prime96]

Kenshi: If you have any questions, just ask.

Johnny Cage: If a bear and a dragon had a fight, who would win?

Johnny Cage:

Kenshi: If you have any relevant questions, just ask.

Kung Lao: No, I think this merits discussion.

[optimus-prime96]

Kuai-Liang: 13 year old me would be both terrified and in awe at who I am now

Tomas: 13 year old me wouldn’t think I’d get this far.

Bi-Han: I would fight 13 year old me.

[optimus-prime96]

Li Mei: Do you know why I pulled you over? You can’t have three people on a motorcycle!

Raiden: Only three?

Kenshi: Oh no!

Johnny Cage: Kung Lao fell off!

[optimus-prime96]

Kuai-Liang: Hey, do you have a bag I can borrow?

Hanzo: The only bags I have are the ones under my eyes, and they’re specifically designed to carry the burden of my existence.

Kuai-Liang: Literally all you had to do was say no.

[optimus-prime96]

Johnny Cage about to meet Sonya's dad:  I know everything about him, therefore I know exactly the type of person I need to be in order for him to think I'm good enough for Sonya.

Raiden: Come on Johnny, you're fine! Just be yourself!

Johnny Cage: Be myself? Raidude, I have one day to win over Sonya's dad. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Kenshi: Couple weeks.

Syzoth: Six months.

Kung Lao: Jury's still out.

Johnny Cage: See, Raidude? "Be myself," what kind of garbage advice is that? 

[optimus-prime96]

Shao Khan: Liu Kang, my old arch enemy.

Raiden: I thought I was your arch enemy.

Shao Khan: I have a life outside of you, Raiden.

[optimus-prime96]

Bi Han: How come whenever i have fun, it's considered wrong?

Kaui Liang: People die when you have fun.

[optimus-prime96]

Kenshi: I can't believe you did that, Johnny! I'm at a loss of words!

Johnny Cage (narrating): Despite being at a loss for words, Kenshi then yelled at me for ten minutes

[optimus-prime96]

Johnny Cage: Kenshi, I screwed up. Big time.

Kenshi: Johnny, given your daily life experiences, you’re gonna have to be more specific.

[optimus-prime96]

Liu Kang: Two things, Shang Tsung. Number 1: You may be trying to help us.

Liu Kang: Number 2: you’re still full of shit.

[optimus-prime96]

Kuai Liang: Try not to kill anyone on accident.

Bi-Han: I’m not an idiot, Kuai Liang. I know how to kill people on purpose.