Y e e t

If you can't recite obscure information about fictional characters at any given moment, then what are you even doing with your life

[dykecinema]

Me: okay I am done talking about this thing that's upsetting me. Bye.

*literally two seconds later*: AND ANOTHER THING

[mblematic]

love when the mutual takes the mutual bait. yes that post was for you. yes it was about our lil guy. thanks for falling for it. I love you

[calvinandhobbes-rss]

[treasuredplanet]

how I look sending my friends the most angst filled message about The Character I can think of

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

every now and then the neighbour's kid, who knows he'll get in trouble if he climbs in his dad's car and just leans on the horn, decides it's worth the consequences and treats himself. and that's real

[sandersstudies]

Got sad today because two sixth grade students shared some inside joke that was so funny they collapsed against each other in giggles and I was hit with a massive wave of “I’ll never be young again.”

[sandersstudies]

Got happy today because one of those same sixth graders (they’re seventh graders now) approached me after seeing me have a irrepressible giggle with a friend and said “you and [my friend] are just like me and [his friend], you can’t stop laughing.”

[sandersstudies]

This is genuinely so important. If the only people a kid can look up to are serious and authoritative 100% of the time, kids start to assume that they have to abandon whimsy, imagination, and silliness to grow up and to be taken seriously. Don’t do it. Stay silly.

[timrousbeastie]

[wrecked-writer]

Im still trying to wrap my head around the fact that in the plus minus TEN YEARS of knowing each other, Arthur still would not take any of Merlin's concerns or 'funny fealings' seriously! There is only maybe 2 scenes that imply Merlin's feelings were off once or twice but the majority of the time it was correct! I know they play it off for laughs in the show but for a friendship so deep, why didn't Arthur take Merlin seriously???

[fan-a-tink]

merlin from Arthur's perspective is actually so wild. like, merlin has the context of their great destiny and is knowingly working to bring it about but Arthur... to Arthur merlin is this random boy who turned up in Camelot one day and made him look like a fool in front of everyone then saved his life and was 'rewarded' by becoming his servant. and like the next week, Arthur already trusts merlin so much and jokes around with him and literally goes on life threatening quests just because merlin had this idea or merlin drank poison for him. like, Arthur doesn't know about the destiny stuff, and he does these things only because he likes this slightly odd guy who is terrible at his job and roasts Arthur 24/7. it just brings home the fact that merlin is Arthur's first real friend, that he must have been super lonely before merlin, and just how much Arthur genuinely likes merlin.

[fan-a-tink]

@bastillia

[veliseraptor]

the weird schrödinger's emotion that is "that character death was narratively satisfying and emotionally impactful and ultimately the best way to handle their character arc" simultaneously with "noooo but I wanted them to live :( :( :("

[gigiimariiie]

Barbara Gordon/Oracle DC Collage

[curly-cottage-girl]

“Veggietales is Christian propaganda” veggietales taught me that I am special and loved and I should stand up for what is right and also not to trust the IRS

[pmamtraveller]

No comment by Vanessa Stockard

[doloneia]

ok ive seen nolans odyssey and what the fuck was that actually

[doloneia]

Parts that made me tweak in a dim-lit movie theater:

1. Every time we meet a woman or enslaved individual that, y’know, had some semblance of agency in the text, Nolan has just… removed that? Circe’s commanding presence & how she genuinely overpowers Odysseus? Gone. Helen actually stealing the show in Book 4 where she walks down into the room and controls the conversation re: Odysseus & Troy? Gone. Utterly Gone. Lupita Nyong’o gets 0 chance to speak on her own terms and its actually so depressing. Also I’m genuinely unsure here but it seemed like Circe & Calypso’s divine status was… nonexistent?? They’re both goddesses but apparently not to Christopher Nolan 🫤

And this treatment extends to Odysseus’ slaves, specifically Eumaeus & Eurycleia (eurynome & philoetius not appearing in this goddamn film ifg). Almost every action taken by Eurycleia in the Odyssey is attributed to someone else in Nolan’s adaptation, she gets 0.2 seconds of screentime, its actually absurd. I think she has two lines in the whole movie. Eurycleia. Odysseus and Telemachus’ nurse. The woman who canonically organizes the doors to be locked during the suitor’s slaughter? Who canonically helps secure Telemachus’ provisions for Pylos? fuckin. Not There. And Eumaeus (who literally perfectly models xenia to a disguised Odysseys while living in extreme poverty) notably Does Not Get To Do That in Nolan’s odyssey, instead he’s like. injured I guess? I’m so fuckin confused as to why that happened, it just made the plot more convoluted. Medon is also just not there at all. Medon who is actually the fuckin best?? My underestimated king??? Where Is He.

2. oh my god everything abt the scene with Polyphemus makes me want to claw my eyes out (except maybe his eye? that looked kinda cool idfk). yknow how polyphemus appears, speaks to the crew, and they let their guard down? how the polyphemus episode represents the world outside of greek customs like xenia? how he fucking talks to them? he talks to them and his neighbors? yeah. in Nolan’s odyssey, there are no neighbors. there is no existential mirror/cyclopean foil to ithacan society. there are no other cyclopes. He doesnt even fucking talk 😭😭 <- i mean he gets one line but the audios so distorted that without captions i had no idea what he said

3. Anticleia reunion scene? Nonexistent. Laertes? Nonexistent. Allegedly still around. Sir Not-Appearing In-This-Film. Book 15 reunion between Telemachus and Odysseus? Nonexistent. Reunion between Odysseus, Eumaeus, and Philoetius? Not there. The fucking marriage bed scene? The goddamn marriage bed? NOT THERE. screams into a bag

4. ODYSSEUS “DIDNT WANT TO RETURN HOME” 😭 they keep fucking saying this over and over again too and. No he very much did. No home means no guaranteed kleos guys. his sons life is in jeopardy but Ok christopher shitlan do whatever the fuck you want, i guess

5. every time i heard them say “our civilization is collapsing” or “they say the peoples from the sea are attacking” or “our age of bronze is ending” not only did i feel my soul die a little more inside but i also kept thinking “man, this sounds a lot like the white supremacist belief in ‘western civilization’ just superimposed onto a falsified image of the late bronze age” and thats because It Is.

strange decisions:

1. boar scar apparently occurred when odysseus was an adult???

2. elliot page’s sinon gets one helluva backstory which i guess was kinda cool if you ignore elliot page getting brutally slaughtered in the first 30 seconds of the movie? not sure how to feel about that

3. travis scott kept showing up randomly which was like. fine i guess? genuinely im not sure what the difference between him & phemius was supposed to be. i didnt even see phemius. tbf i was taking notes this whole time so maybe i missed him? but travis scott shouldve just been phemius idfk why he wasnt

4. The Phaecians are just not there guys and i have no idea why. odysseus’ wanderings are being narrated to calypso?

5. the crew mutinies at scylla instead? odysseus tries to sail towards charybdis??? this was a bizarre sequence

6. no nestor or peisistratus. somehow telemachus sails to the 100% inland palace of menelaus. who needs a chariot when you’ve got a Boat i guess

7. half of my notes just say “what happened to show, don’t tell” because the amount of exposition made me want to slam my head into the wall

highlights:

1. anne hathaway and tom holland had a very good dynamic, i feel like they really captured some of the tension between penelope & telemachus, ie penelope running the house for 20 years and still assuming some of that authority vs. telemachus trying to grow up/assume control of the household/establish his own kleos. loved that dynamic tbh. one of the better parts of the telemachy sections

2. lupita nyong’o was great in the uh. 30 seconds she had on screen. im so serious helen was fucking robbed in this movie

3. himesh patel fucking carried every scene he was in on his Back

4. rare cicones appearance

maybe the real sea peoples was the troy we sacked along the way

[loopylace]

And the audacity of Lupita Nyong’o to then say this in an interview:

““Lupita Nyong'o, when asked what she would say to Homer if she got the chance, was "Homer, how do you feel about the screen time given to these women considering how little you spent with them? Okay?...Like, Hmm? Remember us?"”

For once, it’s not Homer’s fault. As always, it’s Nolan’s.

Lupita, your voice and Penelope’s voice and Helen’s voice and Athena’s voice and Calypso’s voice and Eurycleia’s voice are not being heard because NOLAN CUT ALL YOUR GOOD PARTS OUT OF THE SCRIPT. NOLAN CUT THE MARRIAGE BED SCENE. WHAT THE HELL?

I’m going to stop before I become disproportionately angry. Can Hollywood please stop adapting things they clearly don’t actually want to adapt?

[bowditch]

i couldn't not make this

(source)

[ruemilley]

for make a terrible comic day

[deusben]

babe wake up...i need to tell you multiple thoughts that don't corelate at all that i had in the span of five minutes..