PROUD FATHER OF AM

Dirk, 27, Co-creator of My Little Pony ; Homoerotic Horses, The Game.

[airmercury]

[orangesotiva]

I really do want to be more active on this blog, but it’s hard being a single dad in this economy and climate.

[orangesotiva]

What are you going to do officer, arrest me? I made this fucking universe.

[tinderventure]

Suffocate

[surprisebitch]

this has the same chaotic energy as “then perish”

[orangesotiva]

Yanno when you get pins and needles and all you can do is sit as still as your bastard legs will allow you to.

[orangesotiva]

everytime i see mika back on john i am filled with like......... ‘hmmmmm (c: i see you have dragged yourself back into hell’ feeling

[orangesotiva]

It has come to my attention that I have zero (0) friends approximately on this website right now aside from Rudy I suppose since everyone else is inactive.

[orangesotiva]

I had a dream that Nicki Minaj and I were at a water park in a sliding competition. We only had one judge and it was a literal giant version of Dave’s trollsona. We ran through a changing room (???) and Rose was there for awhile and then she became Calliope. I think Calliope was Nicki Minaj for awhile.

Then as we were sliding down the giant water slide for the sliding competition a giant grasshopper with human feet tried to kill us. It was terrifying for five seconds. Then we were at the bottom and the grasshopper was gone. And Daves trollsona turned into a giant Jake who said ‘Jolly well played mates!’ in his horrible fake English accent and I woke up in a cold sweat.

[orangesotiva]

Crow fuckers will reblog a 1720272226282 word long post about crows and not tag it as long post.

[orangesotiva]

My neck broke.

EDIT : Re-reading this it sounds like I actually broke my neck. It was a exaggeration.

[orangesotiva]

everyday i fight the urge to draw dirk hot and am hit with the reality of dirk being a stupid ugly bitch and that’s okay

[orangesotiva]

This depression beard easily ages me 3-Captain America years. I look like I belong on a farm.

[orangesotiva]

Last post I’m making about my current epidemic : I’ve decided that if I survive I am going to treat myself and ask Jade to help me create a teleportative device that has a radius of about thirty meters that teleports all bugs into a sun in its radius. There is a high chance that because she grew up on an island and is baller as fuck about insects, she might laugh at me and playfully slap me so hard on the back I break a bone and tell me to grow up, but that’s a bone I am willing to break.

[orangesotiva]

(Me listening to twerk it like miley on my beanbag in the corner of my room with my tang in one hand and a slipper in the other)

[rpaskboxmemes-deactivated202004]

Send me a HELLO and i'll answer...

If we kissed:

[] This wouldn’t happen.

[] Oh disgusting.

[] Again, again.

[] Kiss you back.

[] Let’s take this to the bedroom.

[] Slap/Push you away.

[] Be confused

If you asked me out I’d say:

[] Um no.

[] I’m taken-

[] Sure.

[] HOLY ASDFGHJK YESSSSS.

Can we cuddle?:

[] No.

[] Ew.

[] Sure.

[] YES.

Sex?:

[] Let’s do it.

[] No. You can’t handle my d.

[] FUCK YES.

[] No.

Should you reblog this?:

[] Yes. I want to send you one.

[] Yes.

[] No.

[orangesotiva]

I’m saying it now because it’s pretty obvious that I’m not making it out of this because I have a bottle of tang that I am fucking compelled to drink and no fucking bottle to piss like a racehorse in (I’m not going back outside to the toilet to piss) so I would like to know which of you would like to attend my funeral and maybe say a few words about how even though I was an annoying piece of shit bottom twink bitch, I didn’t deserve to die like this despite the fact that the more I think about it the more I find it incredibly fitting that I die from piss.

[orangesotiva]

To my adoring followers :

The wifi is really shitty out here so that nobody can find me. I literally cannot open any messages or any fucking notifications, and I can’t check my notes. I am stuck in a limbo-like situation where all I can do is update you on my horrifying insect-ful situation and make jokes sometimes about how dumb Karkat is.