Food 💖

Smile because you're worth it.

[moxis]

job interview: we need HAPPY, MOTIVATED people!!

my depressed ass:

[soupdrag0n]

[Softly but with a lot of feeling] fuck

[orangestickcheesejuice]

murderer: (via text) im going to kill you

me: (a week later) omg im so sorry... i saw this when i was in the middle of doing something else and then just completely forgot about it

[h3rm1one-granger]

[disney-park-junkie]

I promised myself if this hit my dash again I’d reblog it. I miss this show.

[waltsentme]

I’ve always wanted to eat at Bueno Nacho. 

[cheese24k]

[vua-deactivated20160828]

oh my god

[friendley-deactivated20200102]

everyone needs to see this video at least once in their life

[andromedafalls]

I think my favorite thing about dogs is that they can, in fact, perceive the tone/mood of music, just as they can with human voices.

[theteastainedpages]

I think the best part about this is that there was an actual academic study done to find out what music dogs preferred, they set it up by kenneling dogs and figuring out which kind of music caused them to be more relaxed in the situation, and they found out that most dogs prefer soft rock and reggae. 

He probably really digs it. 

[rainhann]

ok this is “earring magic ken” who was introduced in 1992 (and discontinued shortly thereafter)

basically mattel had done a survey and discovered that girls didn’t think ken was “cool” enough

SO someone had the bright idea to research coolness by sending people to raves which, at the time, were mostly hosted & attended by gay men. so they went to these raves and took notes on what the fashions were and finally landed on this outfit, mesh shirt & all 

this doll became the best selling ken doll in history, mostly because gay men bought it in droves. (many of them said his necklace was supposed to be a cockring) but mattel and a number of parents weren’t very amused and discontinued the doll 

[muffinsandmatriarchy]

OH MY GOD YOU’RE LEAVING OUT THE BEST PART

SO

MAGIC EARRING KEN. This bitch gay as HELL. supposedly the aforementioned rings on him are for “magic earrings” and clip on charms. These charms are advertised as totally COMPLETELY heterosexual, not gay at ALL, see there’s a Barbie that also has Magic Earring Action with clip on charms! Ken wears them to match, because he’s STRAIGHT

Here’s the issue: THERE IS NO MATCHING BARBIE. Magic Earring Ken is out here straight up wearing cock rings on his jacket with a thinly devised advertising ploy to make it SEEM not-gay. But it’s DEFINITELY GAY. (And if you’re thinking, why cock rings? Well way back in 1992 gay culture was HUGE on wearing cock rings, it was the in-style. Everyone who was gay wore one, even women; you sewed them to your leather jacket, and the placement indicated some of your sexual preference. In case you were wondering, Ken is a Bottom.)

AND IT GETS BETTER. Magic Earring Ken was on the shelves for six weeks before they pulled him. In that short amount of time? Magic Earring Ken became the BEST SELLING Barbie Doll Mattel has EVER SOLD. LET THAT SINK IN. SIX WEEKS. And now every time these wheezy old hetero windbag execs go to look at their sales board, they’re forever haunted by Magic Earring Ken at the top of their charts.

Gay as hell, Cock Ring Bottom Ken, the Best Selling Mattel Doll. Pride.

[harperjenkins]

please take the time out of your day to read about Magic Earring Ken™

[subtle-showoff]

Wait wait, this is what we should be dressing up as for Halloween

[chiiefhopper]

summary of eleven and hoppers relationship

[petr1kov]

rest in fucking pieces, mr. darcy

[otherpens]

please have this playing on loop above my tombstone

[fromthedeskoftheraven]

I’M CRYING

[beeloved]

[thebestmoreorless-deactivated20]

SOMEBODY SHARED THIS WITH ME & OUCH IM LAUGHING SO HARD BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM HURT

[stability]

[animehillaryclinton]

i downloaded a twerk mod for the sims 4

and apparently i was laughing so loud that my sister had to come check on me from the other room

[thebootydiaries]

It’s a breezy summer day and the rustling from the leaves outside sound like whispers from my small apartment. I’m sitting in front of my laptop, silently studying the 1.6 billion faces speaking simultaneously in front of me. It’s Monday, the day of the weekly conference call between all Muslims. We have been required to attend this Skype meeting from the the tender age of fetus, but I had never spoken in one of them before. 

That changes today. 

“Hey guys, what if…” I start to say. 

Nobody hears me, but I refuse to be silent. How could I show my face again on Tumblr if I couldn’t even save my mayonnaise friends from death? How could I expect to earn their respect? Anon was right; why hadn’t I done this before? Thousands of lives had paid the price for my ignorance, but not anymore.

“What if you guys….. stopped killing people.“ 

Suddenly, silence. 

1,643,398,023 pairs of eyes are on me. My heart is in my throat as the ISIS leader gives me a blank expression. 

A single tear rolls down my cheek. "Please.” I say with a broken voice. 

He is moved. 

“Aight”.

[thebootydiaries]

My fingers are almost shaking as I carefully type in the ten digit phone number I have had memorized my entire life. The buttons on my home phone seem to glow a bit more dull, and even the ringing of the phone from the other end seems to be agonized, almost as if the world is telling me to hang up. But I refuse to give up; I can’t let my white lily friends down. Not again.

The phone rings once. Twice. Three times. Still no answer. Just as I am about to hang up, there is a click.

All I can hear is heavy breathing.

“Hello….” I say quietly, my voice shaking. “Is….. Is this Muslim?”

There was a long silence before I heard a voice answer “ya lol”.

“I was thinking………..” I begin cautiously. “Maybe murder is…………bad.”

“Habibi, I…..I don’t understand. What are you trying to say….?” The voice seems shaken.

“What if…….world peace is good and killing people is…………not good”

He lets out an audible gasp. “Are you saying ISIS is…….bad?”

“Maybe death is…….not good.” I continue. My heart is racing. I remind myself that I am saving thousands of lives, and inhale.

The silence from the other end of the line is almost deafening. He seemed to be thinking, as if he had never considered this idea before in his life. Truly I had opened his heart and his mind. This…. This could end terrorism.

“Muslim….Please.” I whisper.

I hear a tear roll down his cheek, with my Muslim Communication Hearing™ and hold my breath as he finally breathes out his next words.

“Kk.”

[daddybroskey]

“I hear a tear” How do you hear a tear?

[thebootydiaries]

Ah, you must not be Muslim,

[animusrox]

[thebestoftumbling]

girls teaching dog to bounce on mattress 

[poser-in-a-parkuhh]

Love it!

[bromojumbo]

*slams fist on table* THIS IS THE KIND OF CONTENT I LIKE TO SEE

[itsonlyaubrey]

Dogs are so important and we must protect them at all costs

[whatitdoooobabeyyy]

did the early 2000’s really happen or is it just a lie that the government wants us to believe

[princehexing-deactivated2017061]

It was ahead of it’s time

[straightgirls]

this doesn’t fit my blog at all but i had to post it here because this story is legit the wildest thing i’ve seen this month and everyone needs to see it. unmute this I PROMISE YOU WON’T REGRET IT

[girlschasinggirls]

omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!