I know this is meant to be funny but it actually makes such a good point about how ADHD and executive dysfunction can impact people in really major ways, including financially
Not an ask/request but for every system. Please remember to eat, drink water, and take your meds in case any system forgot.
thank you for this reminder! we’ll add to this with our little self care post. remember to check in with your system and look after yourself and each other - it’s been rough out there lately, but we can get through this together!
Hello! How are you doing today? Have you taken care of yourself/your system lately? We’d like to ask you some questions to help you check in
You know what I hate about being an alter in a system? I only have so much time out in the body but I have so many hobbies. I can't read every book I want too or play every game I want too because the limited free time we have is split up between us. It's gonna take me forever to finish my reading backlog.
Weird Question: When switching or dissociating can your body still move or do things?
Normally when we dissociate we can do small things, but the reason I’m asking is because when we drive we end up reaching a state that feels like dissociation, but we don’t loose control over the vehicle. Like it feels like I’m locked inside my head surrounded by padded walls while watching the events unfold. I’m not saying this is dissociation but I wanted to figure out what this would be called.
Usually it's fine, I may feel woozy or nauseous if it's heavy. But there is a disorder (FND or dissociative motor disorder) that happens in which systems may get catatonic from heavy switches or start having tics, shaking or seizures. I've gotten catatonic quite a bit when this one alter would front/switch out. Thankfully she got fused into a co-host, but yeah they used to make it hard to move when we were intensely stressed.
Sometimes it feels like the signals between our brain and body get more and more blocked when we dissociate really heavily. We'll end up like, moving our arms to do things extremely slowly and clumsily, and sometimes our limbs refuse to move at all. I'm not sure if that's similar to what you're asking about
thank the alter who did the homework. tell the alter who cooked how much you liked the food. tell the alters who shower and clean your room and work out and drive home how much you appreciate them keeping things together, and tell them more when they mess up, because it's all about being there for each other.
DID is weird because I find myself gathering shit on critically acclaimed MMORPG Final Fantasy 14 and then go "why tf am I doing this I hate this so much" and questioning all my life choices that led up to this point where I'm wasting my life away gathering and gathering and gathering materials with no end in sight and then switch to doing dungeons to level up my combat classes, 30 minutes later I'm like "actually I wanna go back to gathering I dont even know why I was running dungeons I'm not a fan of doing dungeons", then 15 minutes later going "god fucking dammit I'm doing it again I fucking hate gathering, back to dungeons" and then-
Like I know to anyone who doesn't know that we're a system this sounds like we just keep doing shit we don't enjoy doing in the game but it's definitely kinda amusing/annoying how we keep accidentally switching with each other when we're playing and are unable to just let whoever is fronting enjoy doing what they do lol.
Oh, and it's also funny how we might switch mid-raid and suddenly have to scramble to remember what all our buttons do while internally screaming trying to also not die to the boss.
In the past it was a LOT more frustrating though as we didn't realize why we'd be enjoying the game then all of a sudden go "I actually really hate doing this and I don't know why I keep doing this". Made it really easy to get mad at myself and then just drop whatever game I was playing, not because I wasn't having fun but because it was so confusing trying to understand why I kept doing things I didn't enjoy. I thought it was like, a weird need to minmax and thus doing stuff I hated just to eek out every little bit of experience/money/whatever, but that didn't explain why I would earnestly try to stop to try to enjoy the game however I wanted to only to keep going back to the same things that I hated doing over and over.
Anyways, it's kinda silly but knowing that I have DID and these other versions of me has really helped my frustration in this regard. And I know I'm talking about video games in this post, but this also reflects other aspects of my life, from friendships to work to even just grocery shopping. I'm now more accepting of these weird inconsistencies about myself and it's made understanding my life and my actions so much less confusing and frustrating.
Headmate Role & Type Master-list (as re-posted by us to be more thorough and all system inclusive)
Below the cut is a masterlist of common headmate roles and types. We will do our best to keep this updated if we think anything else should be on here. Please let us know if there's anything you think we should add or any info we should update to be more accurate!!
Roles
Boosters
A type of headmate designed to hold or boost a certain emotion or feeling in the system, usually when fronting or co-con.
→ Confidence Booster: a headmate that boosts the confidence of the system or specific headmate(s) in front.
→ Mood Booster: a headmate that boosts the mood of the system, specific headmate(s) in front, or those around the system; emotions affected can range from neutral to overjoyed depending on the booster.
→ Motivator: a headmate that either boosts feelings of motivation in the system or specific headmate(s) in front, or helps motivate the system with encouragement.
Helpers
A type of headmate designed to help the system or individual headmates in a specific way.
→ Caretaker: a headmate who takes care of the system, generally by caring for the body or keeping the living space tidy.
→ Internal Helper: a headmate that helps take care of other headmates in the innerworld; may or may not front.
→ Soother: a headmate that helps soothe the body or other headmates, especially in times of distress or following traumatic events.
→ Supporter: a headmate who was formed to keep other headmates company; often in co-con with other headmates.
Holders
A type of headmate designed to hold certain memories, emotions, symptoms, or otherwise within a system; oftentimes fragments, but not always.
→ Anger Holder: a headmate that holds the system’s anger; might be more likely to lash out than other headmates.
→ Pain Holder: a headmate that helps deal with physical ailments in the body, such as pain or sickness; likely has an easier time handling said ailments than other headmates.
→ Symptom Holder: a headmate that holds or more strongly exhibits symptoms of mental illness or neurodivergent behaviors; may exhibit symptoms of disorders not apparent in the system as a whole.
→ Trauma Holder: a headmate that holds significant trauma; may have more vivid memory of the event(s) or memories not recalled by other headmates; often more affected by said trauma.
Protectors
A type of headmate that helps protect against various types of harm to the system.
→ Aggressive Protector: a protector that’s more likely to be steadfast and have more aggressive mannerisms or methods than other protectors, but not to such a harmful degree as persecutors.
→ Emotional Protector: a headmate that protects against emotional harm and/or abuse.
→ Mental Protector: a headmate that helps protect against mental harm/abuse.
→ Persecutor: a misguided protector that tends to act harmfully towards others in the system, the body, or those around the system, whether in an outwardly aggressive or self-destructive manner.
→ Physical Protector: a headmate that helps protect against physical harm/abuse.
→ Sexual Protector: a headmate that helps protect against sexual harm/abuse.
Situational
A type of headmate that tends to front and/or is especially good at handling specific situations.
→ Academic Headmate: a headmate that is more inclined to help with academic affairs, such as homework, attending classes, studying, etc.
→ Sexual Headmate: a headmate that is highly sexual in nature; may or may not have formed to cope with sexual trauma; not considered a protector.
→ Social Headmate: a headmate that is more inclined to help with social affairs; may be more social or extroverted than other headmates.
Specialized
Headmate roles that do not fit into the above categories.
→ Host: the headmate that fronts the most and handles most day-to-day situations; may be responsible for many or most decisions.
→ Gatekeeper: a headmate that has a greater degree of control over the front than other headmates; may guard the fronting room and/or have more knowledge of the system as a whole than other headmates.
→ Manager: a headmate that has an easier time making decisions for the system; often more logic-driven than other headmates.
Types
Ages
→ Little: a child headmate aged 10 or under.
→ Middle: a tween/teen headmate aged 11-17.
-> Young Adult: an adult headmate aged 18-25.
-> Adult: an adult headmate aged 26+
-> Centenarian: an adult headmate aged 100 years or older
-> Ageless: a headmate who's age is indeterminate for any reason, including but not limited to being too old to be worth counting, in source time shenanigans, having an age that shifts frequently or varies heavily enough to not have a "true age", or being otherwise literally ageless.
Source Status
→ Introject: a headmate who formed with traits, background, or full identity of an outside source; may be a real-life source such as a person or childhood toy, or a fictional source, such as a character.
→ Sourceless: a headmate who seems to be introjected but does not have a definitive outside source or does not connect to their source at all.
-> Brainmade: a headmate that is not introjected and is instead entirely original to the brain
Types of Introjects
→ Factive: an introject who takes on traits or identity from a real person.
→ Fictive: an introject who takes on traits or identity from a fictional source, often characters in media.
-> Fictish/Factish: a headmate who is partially introjected and does not feel wholly attached to their source, and doesn't feel like just "brainmade" "sourceless" or "introject" describes the entirety of their identity or their relationship with their source.
→ Songtive: an introject who takes on traits or identity based on a song.
→ Playtive: an introject who takes on traits or identity based on a toy, usually one from childhood.
Sentience
→ Headmate: a fully sentient and independent headmate who is able to function on their own.
→ Companion: a complex established NPC, often animals, that are tied to specific headmates and often accompany them; generally can only be understood by their associated headmates.
→ Fragment: a headmate who is fully sentient, but not generally independent and able to function on their own; often hold specific feelings, symptoms, or memories.
→ NPC: a being in the innerworld who is not sentient or considered a headmate; named after the term “non-player character.”
Species
→ Human: a headmate who presents as a human.
→ Nonhuman: a headmate who presents as any other species than human; often as an animal, supernatural creature, or humanoid with animalistic features.
While it's nice to have people in my life who also have a CDD, I'm super appreciative of those who don't have a CDD or even a dissociative disorder who are still loving and supportive of me.
Sure, at first they kinda treated the diagnosis as some cool new novelty- but tbh, so did I, and I encouraged them to ask as many questions as they wished, no matter how silly or stupid or inconsiderate they considered them. And I think because of that, eventually my DID became just another fact about me no more interesting than anything else I could say about my life. They don't bat an eye when we switch super overtly, they'll gladly repeat themselves if we forget something, and respect us both as individual alters with our own wants and needs, and as a whole person living this singular life. That normalization has helped me feel a lot more comfortable with my DID and accept it as a part of me.
So anyways, shoutout to the people who support those of us with a CDD even if they don't have one themselves. This world needs more people like yall.