悲劇

[oreokuki]

[oreokuki]

Oh this actually got some notes, interesting.

[googlemenot-deactivated20230921]

[lacuna-matata]

[oreokuki]

Damn, I still have some followers that aren’t bot porn blogs? What up pimps.

[oreokuki]

This got 2 notes, whoever you guys are, mad respect. Bless ya souls.

[oreokuki]

Damn, I still have some followers that aren’t bot porn blogs? What up pimps.

[snowthunder]

What she says: I’m fine

What she means: In Howl’s Moving Castle Sophie goes back in time and witnesses Howl making his original deal with Calcifer thus discovering the way to break Howl’s curse and before she leaves she tells Howl to find her in the future and if you recall to the beginning of the movie Howl saves Sophie from some highly questionable and rapey soldiers and tells her “there you are sweetheart, sorry I’m late, I’ve been looking everywhere for you” because he took what she told him as a child to heart and has been looking for her ever since and if that’s not the tightest shit ever I don’t know what is

[prozdvoices]

I play Detective JOE FURAYA in Crunchyroll and RocketJump’s miniseries ANIME CRIMES DIVISION.  Here’s Episode 1.

[psychosibyl]

I haven’t watched this whole thing yet, but everyone knows Victor Nikiforov has the best butt in Yuri on Ice. I’m concerned about the accuracy of the rest.

[pandaaamonium14]

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

[skrillcholas-cage]

oh my god these are great

[princemetalthunder]

fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes

[bob-belcher]

[katswenski]

[plume]

OMG everyone I know the ACTUAL story behind the gif this time! Yes, it’s in Australia– that’s a big angry goanna that wandered into a popular restaurant. All the Australians in the vicinity went OH FUCK NO and cleared off, because goannas are mean. The waitress you see there is a French exchange student, who was quoted as saying something to the effect of “I thought it was a weird ugly dog” and had no idea it was a reptile that wanted to rip her arms off. She’s been hailed as a hero who saved diners.

[mousathe14]

It’s amazing what power “not knowing” has.

[zarekthelordofthefries]

The thing I especially love about this is this is a pretty dangerous animal, except she managed to defeat it by just fucking grabbing it by the tail and walking too quickly for it to turn around. Once again the animal kingdom is thwarted because we evolved opposable thumbs, long limbs, and reckless bravery.

[orjustbecauseyoucould]

weird, ugly dog thwarted by foreign exchange student and polished floors 

[idiopathicsmile]

my take-home lesson here is that nobody in france has ever first-hand seen a dog

[ifeelsick-moved]

My first time at starbucks be like

[spxmano-remade-blog]

fucking wild

[imyellintimberrr]

watch this I’ve never seen anything more relatable

[thieveryjackets]

That Mangachu rip tire is my entire Overwatch experience as a Mercy player

[eilooxara]

Do you ever get bored on the internet and then grab your phone to see what the other, smaller internet is up to?

[deanprincesster-deactivated2017]

I just lost 6 followers for pointing out that there aren’t a lot of women in lord of the rings. I lost more followers than there are speaking female characters in the nine hours of lord of the rings

[anotherpapercut]

what fucking timeline are we living in right now

[ithelpstodream]

[rhymewithrachel]

marvel vs dc