Hi there, I’m Orpheeeeus (they/them)
I write fics and I talk about stuff
find my ao3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orpheeeeus/pseuds/Orpheeeeus
Chapter summary: Arthur is Alice in fucked up land ahah
Fic summary:
"The wind whispers to those who listen, as do the rain and the worms. They whisper of a foolish king and a merciless deity. They whisper about the slow decay of the world and the rebirth of all things.
They whisper that, during the Great Purge, Uther trapped a being no mortal was ever meant to trap. He bound it in the deepest cave of his kingdom and atop the highest peak of his land.
And the rain whispers: fear not, for only mortals remain bound forever. The seasons will come and go, the world will freeze and the snow will melt. And one day, Emrys will be free once more. Magic will walk the Earth anew.
◊◊ ◊◊ ◊◊
Arthur is in love. Merlin is confused. And Mordred will free Emrys, no matter the cost."
TIL that in medieval times trebuchets were sometimes used during tournaments to bombard the watching ladies with roses, and there is something so inherently comedic about this to me. picture me blasting roses at my lover's window with the force of a battlefield assault to win her hand
every now n then i think about how native americans as human beings just dont exist in like 99% of mainstream media. in movies or tv shows or books or video games or you know even in porn like we just arent people. when theres a native character theyre like a wild west indian. like truly to ppl we all died back in the 1900s.
Almost wept when I realized the significance of Hap's abstaining from offering his memories to the stone wolf. He says that Fitz understands he needs all his memories for his art. Hap, the one child Fitz raised with Nighteyes, has the attachment to his memories that no one else does. It's remarkable, because he grew up watching his half-Forged father write down his painful memories obsessively and toss them into the flames.
He fails to become a carpenter, because unlike Beloved and Fitz, he is unable to carve away parts of himself to be accepted. Carving is the visual motif representing the manipulation of memories, persona, and memory. That's why the stone dragons are carved. He tries at first to become a woodworker, but can't change himself to fit in. He was raised by a man that accepted and loved him, despite having no blood relation. So he instead becomes a minstrel. The are the foils to carvers, the deposits of memory, the ones who remember not just their own stories but the stories of others.
In so many ways, Hap is the opposite of Fitz. Fitz is deceptive, but Hap is unable to lie. Fitz is full of self-loathing, but despite his upbringing and some deep insecurities, Hap is full of pride and unwilling to accept poor treatment. In Hap we see all of Fitz's unrealized potential. Fitz wanted to travel, to be free from the stigma of being a bastard, a life of honesty, affection in his childhood, a stable upbringing. That was taken from him, but he is able to provide that to a child. And so he doesn't sacrifice his memories of Fitz as Nettle, Dutiful, and Kettricken do.
But of course we see how Hap takes after Fitz. Although Fitz burns most of his writing, he still preserves his memories the best he can. Carving the Stone Wolf isn't the opposite of what minstrels and scribes do, but the same thing. Not just keeping the memories, but transforming them into art.
Nolan’s Odyssey thoughts. I brought in a notebook and filled 9.5 pages of scribbled thoughts throughout the three hours I was suffering. I hated this movie and I really tried to go into it with an open mind as much as possible and damn it really sucks. This movie really put the no in nostos.
(obviously spoilers ahead)
Random big thoughts
This movie felt like it was made for high school English teachers to show but then 95% of the way through making it, they were like actually nevermind and added in some f-bombs and a few (like 2-3 nonsexual nudity) shots of asses to solve the problem.
Odysseus hates the gods and at times barely believes in them, but also refuses to push back against anything that could be seen as a prophecy. It’s so fucking weird because it’s equivalent to a modern atheist being like “Christianity is dumb and probably a crock of bullshit, also don’t lie because it’s a sin and God will be mad”.
I wrote this down verbatim, “An Odysseus that hesitates about returning to Ithaca is like the sun hesitating to rise” and I do believe I cooked with that. Same is true with a Penelope that doubts Odysseus and a Telemachus that doesn’t need a father, which this movie has.
Here’s the thing, up until Odysseus lands in Ithaca, the movie is fine. It isn’t good, it isn’t horrific, it’s a little cringe and a little irritating for me as an enjoyer of the Odyssey, but it wasn’t bad. If I turned off my brain from know-it-all Greek mythology enjoyer Asha to action movie enjoyer Asha, I think I could have had a decent time. However, it all falls apart when Odysseus returns home, any ounce of characterization is crushed to bits and it just sucks and makes no sense. Reminder, I honestly enjoyed the Troy: Fall of a City miniseries so accuracy is not always my hill to die on but god, I would like the hill to at least be in eyesight.
Random little thoughts (in no order)
UGLYYYYYYY ass costumes like I knew they were bad but it’s such an eyesore. There was not a single outfit that I was like “that looks nice”.
This is one of the first movies I’ve ever seen where I wanted MORE gore and MORE things that made me sick to my stomach. Like, show me Odysseus’s men starving, show me blood spraying down when men are taken by Scylla, show me more soldiers drowning.
They massacred the characterization of every woman (fork found in kitchen, Nolan can’t write women, but still)
There’s a lot of things in this film that changing from poem to movie was pointless. My most memorable example of this being that Eumaeus is visually impaired, Eumaeus also at one point says Odysseus was like a son to him. These aren’t huge deals and don’t affect the plot but to those amongst us who enjoy the Odyssey, it’s just annoying.
Iphigenia is sacrificed by Agamemnon before Odysseus leaves Ithaca?????????
There’s a lot of time and plot spent centered on Argos (yeah the dog).
Odysseus only has 3 ships the whole film, holyyyyy budget cuts.
On Calypso’s island, Odysseus forgets everything because she keeps drugging him with lotus flowers. He doesn’t remember how he got to her island, doesn’t remember his family or Ithaca until she like… weans him off and he starts to remember that. He basically feels none of the time pass.
Half of Helen’s face is physically scarred from the Trojan War, it’s implied that Menelaus mutilated her. There’s a disgusting line where Menelaus says, “this is the face that launched a thousand ships, although now it would maybe be five-hundred.” GROSS
The Laestrygonians look like cybermen and no I will not elaborate.
There is a scene where Athena’s temple is destroyed in Troy and it’s implied that whatever happens to the temple, happens to the god. (like a soldier wacks off Athena’s statue’s head, it switches to a scene of Athena being held down and nearly decapitated) It’s a neat idea but in a movie where the gods are ridiculed by the main character, it just doesn’t work.
No Achilles or Anticleia in the underworld SIGHHH
No Nestor or Peisistratus SIGGGGGHHHHHH they hate to see yappers represented.
Telemachus and Odysseus’s reunion is so ass, like there’s no bout of emotional resonance at all, they’re two worlds apart.
Telemachus sucks as a character Tom Holland you are British how did you make Telemachus so fucking American. No one talk to me about Telemachus he sucked so fucking bad in this movie.
No wedding bed anything insane and might I add fucking crazy. Again, this is classic Odyssey stuff.
At the end of the movie, Odysseus and Penelope travel west(?) and leave Telemachus as king of Ithaca, to honor the fallen soldiers. This is the Greek mythology equivalent of retired American couples moving to Florida I think.
The Cyclops
The cyclops doesn’t speak to Odysseus (the men don’t even know it’s a sentient being until after they stab it in the eye) which means we get no “Nobody” scene which is already a travesty because I fear that’s classic Odysseus. And I do feel like the cyclops being more of a monster ruins the whole point of it being about breaking xenia. If Polyphemus is just an unnamed monster, what makes him any different from Scylla or Charybdis???
Small thing to be pissy about but to get past the cyclops they tied hay to their back instead of hanging from the bellies of the sheep.
We also get no scene of hubris from Odysseus, again this is classic Odysseus.
The Suitors
Antinous called beggar Odysseus a “platelicker” and then after a few times I swear on my life he said “platelicka” it was insane and I wish I was joking
This movie creates a lot of Antinous lore that I think is fairly unnecessary since Antinous already had lore (Eupiethes’s pirate background) but let me explain the Antinous lore to the best of my memory.
So Odysseus holds a lottery for his army. A young Antinous and a younger Sinon draw lots and Antinous draws the lot that indicates he will fight. Sinon, maybe 13 years old, swaps their lots because he wants to go to war with Odysseus. Antinous (probably 16-18 years old) tries to protest but Odysseus won’t let them change back. Antinous interprets this as “Odysseus knew he might not come back and wanted me to be in charge of Ithaca”.
Penelope is in the hall right before Odysseus starts killing, inaccurate but why I mention this here is because she doesn’t let Melantho come with the women to safety. She leaves her in the hall to die in the slaughter. Now if you know me you know I am an Melantho ENJOYER and so I hate to see my girl done badly (maybe the Melantho shit will be it’s own rant).
Antinous x Melantho I CALLED THAT THEY WOULD DO THAT A YEAR AGO
In the end, Odysseus doesn’t kill all the suitors (although he does kill Antinous). Insane because to make things right in Ithaca Odysseus HAS to kill the suitors. It’s the reason that he kills the 12 disloyal maids in the poem because if they live, they represent his own failures blah blah blah whatever I hate it here.
The gods (or lack of)
Athena is the only god with form we see and I’m going to be real honest with you, I didn’t have the brain power to try to figure out what was going on with her.
Zeus does destroy the ship after the sun god’s cows thing and let me just say if you can’t handle flashing lights this is not ur film because the lightning goes CRAZY and not in a good interesting way but in a “my retinas are burned out” way.
No Hermes and no Aeolus sorry my plot scaffolding kings.
“Asha, did you like anything in this movie?”
Probably surprising but yes. When Odysseus’s men are turned to pigs by Circe, she has to physically mold them from man to pigs so she like… rips their hair out and pulls their ears and pushes up their noses until they turn to pigs which was so fucking fascinating to me. I hated the Circe scenes with her and Odysseus but goddamn Nolan you cooked with that body horror. Like, if the ending of this movie wasn’t hot garbage I would recommend it for that scene alone.
I also thought the scenes pre-Trojan war in Ithaca were cute, newlywed OdyPen and Odysseus being like a father figure to the younger men of Ithaca (maybe 2 mins of screen time altogether, not much to write home about but I enjoyed the scraps we got).
Soundtrack was good occasionally
That’s all I wanna write about for now. Who wants to start a GoFundMe for Homer to get a gun and a time machine to kill Nolan?
ohhh my god I just fact-checked, Nolan actually DID cut the "Nobody" scene from his Odyssey movie. Mfer that is like cutting the Father reveal from Star Wars. Let me speak in a language you understand this is like not dressing Batman up in his suit. "It was not possible to work it in" the TikTok musical with a budget of $4 and a scratched Hamilton CD managed to work it in in SONG form, step up your FUCKING GAME
media: we have an anti-authoritarian story for you!
me: sweet hit me with the good stuff
media: so there's this marginalized underclass of people, right?
me: okay
media: and they're like, stigmatized for something that's mostly an aspect of how they are born, or where they're from, or they're badly misunderstood, right?
me: yup, got it, I'm with ya
media: so these people are rebelling against the current social order, because it's the instrument of their suffering
me: oh good great sure
media: but also they're violent and deranged and need to be stopped
me: ...what
media: yeah they're going too far, they're trying to overthrow the system and assassinate the nice cop trying to help them and also they burned down an orphanage
me: ...why? would they burn down an orphanage??
media: extremism is bad
me: still not seeing what this has to do with their fight though???
media: also now they've shot a dog. oops they shot another dog
me: what?! why? I though their motive was to overthrow oppression??
media: yes but their suffering has also made them evil
me: ...???
media: don't worry though, the good guys will defeat them and restore the status quo
me: the status quo that's been killing people?
media: well it turns out it was only killing the kinds of awful people who burn down orphanages and shoot dogs :)
me: oh. this is actually a pro-authoritarian story, isn't it?
media: nooo of course not don't be sillyyyyyy we're super progressive look one of the cops is a black lady don't be sillyyyyyy
Incidentally I also find it quite amusing that adult Fitz has one go of "spying from behind the walls" for several hours with no snacks or comfortable seating and is immediately like "this shit sucks. I'm bringing a cushion and snacks and a drink and maybe blankets every next time afterwards". Good for him honestly
it would suck being a new immortal. like it’d be 2109 and people would go, “what was it like seeing ancient civilizations rise and fall like that? seeing the pyramids being built? watching the expansion and growth of the new world?” and i’d just be like, “no…no i was born in 1991. so like, wow i’m gonna see some cool stuff, but, i mean i’m not that much older than just a really, really old person, you know? phones were big back then. so big. but only for like ten years, then they got like, as good as they are now. uh. rhinos existed. don’t think i ever saw one in person. cool, good talk.”
even worse, imagine being an immortal who keeps missing stuff. “What was it like seeing the pyramids being built?”
“Fuck if I know, I was in Madagascar.”
“Oh, okay. Well, how was the Renaissance?”
“I fell down a hole in Scotland and people thought I was an enchanted well for four hundred years, it was over by the time I convinced someone to get me out.”
We barely know anything about Madagascar pre-500CE. We don’t even know whether the island had a permanent population before then, despite finding a bunch of much older signs of temporary human presence.
Malagasy mythology makes mention of the vazimba, a “precursor” ethnic group that might or might not be distinct from Madagascar’s current population.
The point is, we do not know.
So you were in Madagascar when the pyramids were being built in Egypt, i.e. during one of the most obscure, most undocumented parts of Madagascar’s human history?
Oh, buddy, you better go and make a bunch of anthropologists and archeologists really happy RIGHT NOW instead of feeling bad about missing everyone else’s pet Major Event.
just finished iwtv season 2 and my friend and I have been brain dead for 30min. I'm laying on the ground. Dead. And I more or less knew what was going to happen wtf
One year ago, trans women held an iconic topless protest outside the Scottish Parliament. I love it when trans women hold topless demonstrations. If they're arrested, the state must admit they're women. If they aren't, it exposes the obvious contradictions of defining trans women as legally male.
Now, a year later, Parliament has its first two transgender members, one of whom represents JK Rowling in Edinburgh. We can't attribute this momentum solely to the protest, but the direct action seems to have galvanized a new political movement of trans people across Scotland.
to be clear, I believe younger artists and minors can write good fics (not to say “fanfic must always be good” either because it is a hobby and I still believe that as long as it’s done with love and the artist’s joy, it is good) and I believe it’s good when younger artists and minors start making art at young ages.
that said, a lot of fanfics out there that you read and love are done by adults with kids, jobs and responsibilities. adults who have years, decades of practice under their belts. adults who don’t let life and responsibilities take away their joy in creating.
someone’s love and passion don’t suddenly go away the second they reach a certain age. so if anything, I feel sorry for people who say “adults shouldn’t write fanfics or make fan art” because what these people really say is that they expect themselves to stop having fun and finding comfort in things that bring them joy and comfort the second they reach a certain age. it’s sad that they put an expiration date on their own fun and source of comfort.
