john mulaney sentence starter meme.
compiled from new in town, the comeback kid, and other bits and bobs!
‘you want me to do whaaaaattttttt?’
‘ah! one feels like a duck splashing around in all this wet! and when one feels like a duck, one is happy!’
‘can i have a sandwich, please?’
‘we took off while you were in the bathroom.’
‘i don’t look like someone who used to do anything.’
‘he / she / they ordered one black coffee for him / her / themself.’
‘we’re gonna frame you for murder.’
‘can i get on the plane now, please?’
‘♪ life is a fucking nightmare! ♪’
‘i am too blessed to be stressed!’
‘ohhhhh!!!!! i’m sorry!!!!!’
‘you’re gonna go to jail for thirty years!’
‘i’m very gay, i’d like a few dollars.’
‘the one thing from mcdonalds no child could enjoy!’
‘i’m either having a drink or having to pee. you’re living the golden years kid, not me.’
‘i don’t know if you can tell that from everything else about me.’
‘sometimes…..i get nervous….on airplanes.’
‘♪ this is the loudest thing in the world! ♪’
‘you could pour soup in my lap and i’d probably apologise to you!’
‘i think about that every goddamn day.’
‘college is just your opinion.’
‘i think _____ is a lesbian.’
‘too old to be a duckling. quack quack.’
‘it’s always been legal for us.’
‘now, take this meal voucher that doesn’t work!’
‘i am very small and i have no money. so you can imagine the stress i am under.’
‘hey, remember when we met in the science building?’
‘i’ll keep all my feelings right here and then one day i’ll die.’
‘eat ass, suck a dick and sell drugs.’
‘i’m new in town and it gets worse.’
‘mmmm. gross. mop it up.’
‘i don’t care for that shit at all.’
‘thirteen-year-olds are the meanest people in the world. they terrify me to this day.’
‘nooo!!!! that’s the thing i’m sensitive about!’
‘my dad is cold-blooded.’
‘this is an on-fire garbage can.’
‘were bullets free back then?’
‘and i said no. you know, like a liar.’
‘i have all these fucking markers.’
‘it’s the one thing you can’t replace.’
