a cup of tea on the high seas

she/her | lesbian | here to rotate the blorbos | writer of fics (occasionally)

[our-death-means-flag]

> Join me for a cup of tea?

Requests: ON HOLD! - Masterlist

Ok... now that I'm actually going to use this blog, I guess I should have an intro?

Hi all! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ My URLs kinda a mouthful so feel free to call me Ce (heh, like sea... *insert ocean joke*.)

I honestly have no idea how this happened but here I am! I fell deep into this show and I have to do something with the ideas in my silly brain so... here is this!

I have an adult job unfortunately, so don't expect super regular posts but I will do my best!

Request Info:

I write for:

Ed

Stede

Izzy

Maybe others

No NS.FW, I am very lesbian and have no idea how to write anything spicy involving dongs. So no spices here, sorry. (Unless any of you guys want genderbent wlw stuff… Then maybe)

Credits:

icon: painted by John Whittall

[our-death-means-flag]

I hope you’re having a wonderful day!

Thank you so much!!! (´• ω •`) ♡

I’ve been super busy at work recently so I’m kind of on a semi hiatus. We should be less busy soon though!

[fitzbeloveds]

HAPPY FIRST ANNIVERSARY BELOVED GAY PIRATE SHOW

[our-death-means-flag]

IDK IF U REQUESTED THIS ALREADY OR NOT SO BEAR WITH ME (I FORGET TOO EASILY). izzy hands x disabled reader. reader has leg problems due to nerve damage (maybe iz knew reader before the accident in which they acquired those permanent injuries) basically they’re raiding a ship and fighting and the readers good at tolerating the pain throughout but after the fight they sort of just collapse because of the pain and everything goes a little hazy. izzy is so malewife coded like i can just imagine the genuine stress he would go through not being able to help his s/o / bf during a fight or through their pain.

Routine

Ship: Izzy Hands x Reader Notes: Usually, you can manage your pain pretty well but not always, luckily, you have one angry small man to help. I feel like you guys know me! As someone who also has chronic leg pain, I appreciate this request! (PS: anon, you did request this already but I decided to answer this one since this time you said Izzy was malewife coded and it made me chuckle.) ((PPS: also incorporated another anon’s request for chronic pain cuddles with Izzy! Two for one! ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ )) Warnings: reader passes out, talk about pain

It was strange to think that pain could become routine. Logically, it made sense. Of course you’d get used to it. Though, logic be damned, you weren’t sure how you felt about it being so routine. 

Despite how routine it all was for you at this point, it was inevitable that you’d slip up.

The raid hadn’t been anything unusual. Your run of the mill raid. But you’d been hurting all day. Maybe you’d done something to aggravate your leg or maybe you’d just gotten unlucky. Past a certain extent, it didn’t matter.  You weren’t a novice to raids by any means. Though, raids with the Revenge crew were different. You knew most of the crew wasn’t exactly skilled in combat. They were trying but… You knew that you’d have to work more. And that was fine. You actually liked this ridiculous crew (which was far more than you could say about most other crews you’d been with) so you didn’t mind picking up the slack. 

But there was only so much slack you could hold before you crumbled.

The adrenaline rush from fighting was enough to dull the pain but, as you leaned against the railing, barely able to listen to Stede’s ridiculous ending speech, that adrenaline was wearing thin.

You tightened your grip on the railing. Deep breathes. You tried your damndest to distract yourself without much success. The pain was slowly but surely eating up more and more of your thoughts. You tried to focus on breathing. You clenched your eyes shut, your grip tightening on the railing. Your head was spinning. You couldn’t hear anything, not Stede, not the ocean, not any of the crew. Shit. It was getting really hard to focus on much of anything really.

So much so that you didn’t even realize you were falling until your knees hit the deck. Which of course, sent a pang of pain across your body. You managed to muffle the way you almost screamed but that meant you’d let go of the railing. You fully expected to slam into the deck but instead you hit something softer. You groaned in pain as you felt the world move around you as you were pulled into someone’s arms. 

Not being on your feet helped the pain enough that you could actually think somewhat by which time you realized that you were lying on the cot in your and Izzy’s room. And Izzy was yelling. 

“THEY’RE CLEARLY NOT FOCKIN’ FINE! THEY PASSED OUT!” Izzy stood between you and the crew as he yelled at Roach who was looking thoroughly unimpressed. Izzy paused to take a breath and you managed to move an arm and grab his wrist.

“Iz… Love… I’m okay.” Your words were still a little slurred. 

Izzy seemed to completely abandon his plans of yelling at Roach and spun around so he could see you. “You are not okay! You fockin’ passed out!” Izzy somehow managed to sound simultaneously like he was yelling and whispering. 

“It's just my leg, Iz. Hurts.” You managed as another pang of pain stole your lungs. “Fuck…”

You spotted Roach dip out of the room with a mouthed ‘Good luck’

Izzy didn’t seem relieved. “You’re lying down for the rest of the day.” He hissed, clearly still rattled.

“Izzy…” 

“Not up for fockin’ debate…” He mumbled. “You’ve been working too hard…” 

You chuckled breathily, “You’re one to talk. Besides… gotta protect the crew…”

“I’m going to make those idiots take fockin’ sparring lessons, I swear it.” Izzy almost snarled as he curled his hand around yours. 

“Don’t bully them, love.”

“I just…” Izzy started. You could tell from the conflicted look on his face that he was trying to figure out how to turn emotions into words. You waited, giving him all the time he needed, thumb rubbing across his hand. “I want to help you. And I can’t. And I don’t know what to do” His voice cracked. “I want to do something.”

You sighed. “You’re doing a lot just by being here.” Careful of your leg, you scootched back on the cot. “Lie down with me.”

“I have to-” Izzy softly protested.

“Fang ‘n Ivan can handle it. Please?” The second the word ‘please’ left your lips you and Izzy both knew he wouldn’t be leaving.

With a sigh, Izzy pulled off his boots and his leathers leaving himself in just his shirt and underclothes. He moved so carefully as he got in bed beside you, watching your face for the tiniest hint of pain. You couldn’t help but smile at the softness of it all. As soon as he was properly lying down, you didn’t hesitate to curl up resting your head against his chest. 

Your leg still hurt of course, but lying in Izzy’s arms did make you feel better.

Bit of a shorter one today but I hope you enjoy!

[our-death-means-flag]

Above the Clouds and the Atmosphere

Ship: Izzy Hands x Reader

Notes: Wing AU, Izzy hasn’t been able to fly in decades. It doesn’t bother him. (It does.) Reader is the first person he’s met with wings strong enough to carry someone and fly. Not that it matters, Izzy doesn’t need to fly again. (He does.)

So, @run-me-through-but-not-like-that (hope the tag isn’t annoying!) wrote a wing fic with Izzy a while ago and it has not left my brain since. I thought that Izzy deserved to fly again and I love wing fics. So, here’s this.

Warnings: mentioned wing injuries, angst, Izzy being difficult

Title Song: Rocketeer by Far East Movement (but I’m specifically thinking of this cover by Clara C.)

It was impossible not to notice.

A crew member with wings was fairly run of the mill. If anything, they were sought after since the benefits of having a pirate who could fly were too many to count. Most crews only had two or three if they were lucky. The Revenge somehow had six five, Ed, Fang, Bonnet, Buttons, and you.

You still somehow stood out.

Your wings were absolutely massive. You had a larger wingspan than Ed which was a feat on its own. And you were without question the strongest flier on the crew.  (Yes, the crew of this clown ship had hosted a competition for that for some bloody reason, during which Izzy did his damndest to hide below deck) Though, and he’d never admit it, he did enjoy watching you. Watching you fly so smoothly when you scouted the waters ahead, watching you swoop down to attack an enemy sending them falling off the boat while you effortlessly shot back up into the air, watching you laugh and joke with the crew, wings moving almost as much as your hands as you spoke, emphasizing your words. You always flew so gracefully. Each twitch of your feathers was intentional and the gusts of wind that each flap of your wings created felt like a storm.

Every once in a while he’d purposely stand near you and when the wind from your wings hit his face it felt like he was flying again, just for an instant, but of course, that instant would pass and then he’d be slammed back into reality, grounded, permanently.

It was beautiful.

It was horrible.

Watching you was incredible but it made his wings ache. 

He was stuck. Part of him wanted to cling to you and to the memories of flying. But he didn’t. Instead he avoided you and your beautiful wings and the memories you brought, snapping whenever you dared try and get close, being significantly more hostile towards you than the rest of the crew.

Despite that, you kept trying. You were soft. Just like the rest of the crew. You were capable too, on par with what he’d expect from Blackbeard’s crew. But you were soft. You were kind and gentle and helpful. You always greeted him with a warm “Hello Izzy!” or a “Good morning, Izzy!” or a “Do you need anything, Izzy?”

It made it hard to hate you.

He wondered if it was harder to hate you or to deal with the reminders you brought of what he couldn’t do anymore.

Regardless, he avoided you. 

But avoiding you forever wasn’t practical…

A high pitched yell pulled him away from his work as he dragged a hand across his face.

“No peace and fockin’ quiet on this fockin’ ship.” He grumbled.

Usually a yell like that would have him worried that they were under attack but much to his surprise, he wasn’t really worried. He realized with no small amount of shock that it was because you’d been the one scouting today and you certainly wouldn’t be so incompetent. 

He quickly stopped thinking about how that must mean he trusts you.

Izzy stepped onto the deck and immediately noticed the source of the commotion. Practically the entire crew was crowded on the deck all clearly watching something. That something turned out to be you.

You were flying, easily keeping yourself hovering in place with strategic flaps of your wings. Clutching desperately onto you, was Lucius. The scribe looks like he was moments away from screaming again even as Izzy saw you gently comforting him and (if he was reading your lips right) telling him that it wasn’t that high up, that even if you dropped him, which you emphasized that you definitely wouldn’t do, he’d be fine.

Izzy shook his head trying to stop staring at you. He did the only thing he could think of and barked out “What the fuck are you useless lot doing?” 

A few people turned to glare at him and you looked remarkably guilty. In an annoyingly graceful movement, you landed deftly on the deck and gently released Lucius (honestly having to peel him off more than anything). 

You rubbed the back of your head awkwardly. “Sorry Izzy! Some of the crew wanted to go for a fly and I was done scouting— didn’t see anything interesting— and I’m the strongest flier… So, I figured.” You rambled and Izzy made a point of not looking at how the edges of your wings twitched as you moved your hands. “I… uh…” You seemed to lose confidence as you spoke. “Yeah…”

Some members of the crew notably stepped in between him and you as if to defend you. Not that it stopped him from opening his mouth, ready to unleash a volley of insults but the hand on his shoulder did.

“Aw, come on now. Lay off them Iz…” Edward’s voice was soft as he wrapped both his arm and wing around his shoulder, almost hiding the two of them from view.

The crew went back to talking to you, assuming that Ed would handle Izzy.

Ed took his chance and ducked slightly and whispered into Izzy’s ear, almost conspiratorially, “You know, if you asked, I’m sure they’d take you for a fly… They’re probably the only person we’ve met who could.” 

Izzy tensed. Of course you could. And Ed was right. You were very likely the only person who could. He’d never met anyone with wings as strong as yours. You definitely could carry him and fly.

Edward couldn’t. His wings were made for speed, not strength. Even though he’d been nearly dead, he remembered the first raid after his wings had gotten injured. Ed had scooped him into his arms and flown them back to their ship. He’d barely made it, actually hitting the railing and sending both of them skidding across the deck. Ed had sprained his own wings horribly after that, so Izzy never let him carry him again. He wouldn’t let his captain ground himself for his sake.

Izzy glanced at you again as you gently pulled Lucius into your arms again, comforting him before gently taking off.

The idea took over his mind. He could fly again. He’d never thought it would be possible.

No. It didn’t matter. He was fine.

He’d been fine without his flight for years. The hours he’d spent staring at the sky didn’t matter. The nights he’d spend curled up in his bunk, trying desperately to fall back asleep and dream of flying for just one more second didn’t matter.

He was fine.

Izzy rolled his shoulder pushing Ed’s hand off him. “I don’t need them.” He spat and stormed off.

He made a point of not looking at Edward’s guilty look. He knew that Ed had always blamed himself for the state of Izzy’s wings. Izzy had gotten the injuries protecting him after all. Even if Izzy knew about his captain's guilt, he couldn’t understand it. Protecting his captain came before everything else. Even his wings.

And he was fine.

—

Izzy did a double take the moment he stepped onto the deck for his late night rounds. The deck was empty, the night chilly enough to send everyone down to the bunks rather than sleeping on deck. But that wasn’t what caught his eye. Everything was done? The rigging was secure. The deck was organized and clean and he had no idea what was going on.

Until he spotted a familiar wing. 

Of course. It just had to be you. 

You were crouched near the front of the ship, wings fluttering in concentration as you meticulously checked the remainder of the rigging. So the state of the deck was probably because of you. But why? You’d usually be in bed or eating with the crew by now and you certainly didn’t have a late night shift today. So why were you here working?

Not sure how to get your attention without having to get close enough to risk touching your wings or yelling, he cleared his throat. You jumped lightly and he saw your hand shoot for the blade at your side until you looked over your shoulder and caught sight of him. Then you smiled.

“Evenin’ Izzy!” You greeted as politely as usual.

“Right,” was his curt response. “What are you doing here so damn late?”

You stood, somewhat sheepishly. “Oh, well… I figured I ought to help out a little…” He only got more confused and you seemed to notice since you continued, “well, I was the one who distracted everyone earlier and I wanted to make it up to you… so… I handled some things.” 

He furrowed his brows. “Make it up to me?”

“Yeah. I mean, I didn’t want you getting stuck with extra work cause I distracted everyone.”  You said it so matter-of-factly too, as if it was normal for you to do something like that for him.

On any other ship, if you’d do something like that, it would be out of fear, hoping to avoid punishment for slacking off. But no one on this ship was actually afraid of him since they all knew that the captains wouldn’t let him do anything. Maybe you were doing another strange thing again. Like how you greeted him and helped out.

Ridiculous.

“Fine.” He glanced at the rigging. “Not bad.” You beamed like he’d given you a huge compliment. “Go.” He dismissed you coldly, trying not to think about how much he liked seeing you smiling.

You walked past him, still smiling. Then you stopped. He was moments away from telling you to fuck off when you spoke again, “You know… my offer stands for you too.” He looked back at you.

“What offer?” He snapped.

“Flying. You weren’t on deck when I mentioned it to the rest of the crew but if you ever want me to take you for a fly, I’d be happy to. Just say the word.” He froze. “If you don’t want to do anything around the crew, let me know and I can find a time where we can fly without them around.”

Izzy stared at you. 

Did he want that?

Did he want to fly again?

He tried to picture it, the wind in his face, the ocean beneath him, your arms holding him and your beautiful wings keeping both of you in the air.

He hates the fact that he doesn’t hate the ideas.

You seem to take his silence and glare wrong as you rush to correct yourself. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to assume… I know you don’t like me and I know my wings make you uncomfortable and-

“What?” Izzy manages to force the word out, cutting off your words. 

You smiled sadly. “I'm not that oblivious. I know you keep avoiding me and whenever I fly you always seem really uncomfortable. I’m sorry. I want to be friends but if you want me to fuck off, just say the word and I’ll try to stay out of your way.”  

“Friends?” He echoed as if that was the most surprising thing you’d said. Not only had you caught on to his behavior but you were actively trying to make it up to him for them. 

You chuckled but it was clearly more at yourself than anything he said. ”Yeah… stupid. I know… I’m so sorry.”

“No.” He wasn’t sure why but he had to say it, had to get that stupid sad expression off your face. You seemed surprised. “I don't hate you.”

You froze, glancing back at him. “What?”

He groaned, realizing that he’d backed himself into a conversational corner. “I don’t hate you or your wings. Honestly you’re the most tolerable out of this whole damn crew. You actually know what you’re doing.”

You turned fully to face him, confusion and hope clear on your face. “You don’t? Then why do you avoid me?”

“Because I hate being reminded of what I can’t do!” He snapped. Then almost immediately froze as he realized what he’d said a moment after saying it. Your eyes widened. His eyes widened. “Fuck.”

His wings flexed uselessly under the many layers of wraps keeping them pressed to his back.

“You have…”

“Yes.” No point beating around the bush. “Can’t fly anymore.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.” Your tone of voice stunned him. You weren’t mocking him. He still remembered the way the rest of Hornigold’s crew had reacted to his sudden grounding. And get here you were genuinely telling him you were sorry without an ounce of sarcasm or mockery. You, with the most beautiful set of wings he’d ever seen.

“I don’t want your damn pity.” He snapped.

You didn’t react. “It’s not pity. I mean it. I’m genuinely sorry that happened to you.”

He didn’t know how to react to the fact he believed you.

“Thank you for telling me Izzy. If you ever need anyone to help with your wings, just ask.” Your words were so gentle, so genuine. “Goodnight Izzy.” You turned.

“Wait.” The word came out like a command, even as his voice shook. He knew if he didn’t say it now he’d probably never get the courage again. You turned, confused. But Izzy spoke before you did. “I want to fly.”

“What?”

“I’m not fucking saying it again.”

You (damn you) didn’t push or try to mess with him. Instead you just smiled. “Of course. If you’d like, we could go now?” You offered gently.

Izzy hesitated. He technically didn’t have any nightly duties left since you’d done everything aside from being on watch which he could easily do while flying. He swallowed. “Sure.”

You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face and the way your wings fluttered in excitement. You opened your arms and smiled at him. “I’m going to have to pick you up.” 

Izzy couldn’t help but be a little grateful for you simply allowing him to come to you rather than grab him. With far more hesitation than he cared to admit, Izzy moved closer, tentatively stepping into arms reach of you.. You gestured with your arms and raised a brow, silently asking if you could pick him up. Izzy managed to mumble a “Yeah, go for it.” and he was lucky the two of you were so close since he was barely louder than a whisper.

You moved carefully, gently picking him up. One of your arms under his legs and the other resting gently against his back. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders to keep himself steady and was trying (and failing) incredibly hard to not think about how you were holding him

“You good?” You asked, speaking incredibly softly. With Izzy in your arms like he was, he could feel your breath on his ear. Izzy doubted he could actually get his lips to form words but he managed a quick nod. “Alright, I’m going to stay over the deck, not too high. Then if that’s fine with you I can fly around.”

Why did you have to be so frustratingly considerate? 

Izzy nodded against your shoulder.

You smiled, even without looking at you, he could hear it in your voice. “Got it. I’m taking off on the count of 3. 1…”

Izzy took a deep breath.

“2…”

He adjusted his grip on your shoulders.

“3!”

More on instinct than any conscious thought, Izzy buried his face in your shoulder. He heard the flap of your wings, the air rushing past, and then, calm. He pulled away from your shoulder slowly and opened his eyes. The two of you were hovering over the deck, about eye level with the mizzentop, your wings carefully flapping to keep you both as still as possible. It took a moment for everything to click in his mind. 

He was flying.

“Izzy?” Your voice gently pulled him from his thoughts. “Are you alright?”

He really wanted to give some cool response maybe a smooth “never better” but instead the only sound that managed to escape him was a “mhhnngh” which not only wasn’t smooth at all but also didn’t answer your question so instead he managed to nod.

“Do you want to fly around more?” He could practically hear the smile in your voice. 

Since Izzy’s vocal chords were still not cooperating, he nodded, almost frantically.

“Alright… Let’s go…” With another powerful flap of your wings you shot off away from the Revenge. Izzy felt the wind rushing by his face, tousling his hair. He watched the ocean flicker past just below him.  You dove down, and Izzy suddenly felt the sea mist against his skin. 

When his wings had healed enough for him to attempt flying, he'd honestly already known at that point that it would be useless. He’d tried regardless. Of course, he couldn’t. He pretended it didn’t bother him. But honestly, the idea that he’d never be able to fly again burned up his mind in a way he’d never been able to shake.

But he was actually flying.

It felt like a dream.

Izzy’s eyes must have been watering from the wind and the salt. 

He definitely wasn’t crying.

He was fine.

Without even thinking about it, Izzy reached a hand out towards the sea, desperate to reach out and touch it, as if that would fully confirm for him that he wasn’t dreaming. Seemingly realizing what he wanted, you swooped lower, allowing the tips of Izzy’s fingers to skip across the surface of the waves. You soared up into the air, Izzy watching the waves created from air from your wings.  Then you dove back down. You flew laps around the Revenge, staying just close enough to be safe. Of course, you (irritatingly considerate) kept checking in with him. “Is this okay?” “You alright?” “Everything fine?” To which Izzy could only respond with nods.

By the time you were landing back on deck,  Izzy honestly had no clue how long the two of you had been flying. He’d somehow just let himself get lost in the feeling of flying. A quick glance at the sky made him suddenly realize that his watch was almost up. The two of you had flown around almost all night. Izzy was honestly a lot more reluctant to leave your arms than he’d expected to be, but the fear of someone coming on deck and seeing you both made him finally remove himself from your arms.

He expected to feel just as awful as he had when he’d first realized he was stuck on the ground the moment his feet touched the ground but that didn’t happen. He felt lighter, more comfortable, like some tension he didn’t even realize he’d been carrying was gone. He scrubbed his face with his sleeve, trying to make it look more like he was rubbing sleep away from his eyes with limited success.

“Izzy?” Your voice once again, cut through the silence. He spun, turning to see you leaning against the railing, wings relaxed and breathing a bit heavier than normal, shoulders visibly moving. It seemed that even for someone as strong as you, flying around for hours carrying someone was a lot of work. 

“You look exhausted. You should have stopped sooner.” He winced at his own words, hating how even that came out as a complaint.

You chuckled lightly, seemingly not taking his words as insulting in any way. “Yeah, probably.” You agreed as you gently stretched your wings out. Izzy was once again struck by how big and powerful your wings were. “But you seemed to be having a good time so… I only really doubled back when I realized the watch shift was going to change, figured you wouldn’t want any of the crew seeing you.”

Again with you being so frustratingly considerate of him. Izzy sighed. You still made little sense to him with all that kindness but that was an issue for another day. “You ought to go to sleep. I’ll handle your morning tasks so you can sleep in.”

You immediately waved your hands. “Oh you don’t have to do that!”

“I know I don’t.” Izzy replied matter-of-factly. “Just as you didn’t need to stay up late to help me nor take me flying.”

“You don’t owe me for any of that, Izzy. I did that because I wanted to.” 

He actually fumbled with his words for a moment. If it were anyone else, he would have immediately called bullshit, but you looked so incredibly genuine. Either you were the best liar he’d ever met, or you were being sincere. “In that case, go to bed. I’ll cover for you because I want to.” He tried to make his voice as authoritative as possible but it was incredibly hard to do that when you were looking at him so softly. “You’re not convincing me otherwise.”

You smiled. “If you insist. Goodnight Izzy. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight.” Izzy replied with a nod. You walked past him to the bunks, and Izzy gathered up his courage. “Thank you.” He managed to force out without turning to face you,  just as you were about to leave. 

“Of course, anytime!”

Left alone on deck for a few minutes until shift change, Izzy watched the sky.

[our-death-means-flag]

i just submitted a request like five seconds ago so yes hi im back. I just wanted- needed to tell you how much your fics have helped me out. the past few months have been nothing but stress for me and honestly seeing the little notif that you posted makes me so happy all the fucking time. one of the major things keeping me going right now.

you guys are so nice to me... i'm gonna cry! ( ; ω ; )

i'm so glad you like my work!! (⌒▽⌒)♡

[our-death-means-flag]

Hi!! Would you be able write ed taking care of reader? Basically like reader falling into a bad depression spiral and ed being the first to recognize what’s going on and trying to help them through it? I’d like it to stay platonic if that’s cool bc also lesbian here I just like baby girl-ifying these old dudes lmao Thank you!! Also loving ur writing so far!!!

For No Reason at All

Ship: Edward Teach & Reader (platonic) Notes: As much as you usually like the whole “talk it through thing, now, you really really don’t want to talk. You’re no stranger to dark days when it feels like nothing good will ever happen to you. It’s always been something you could mostly ignore. Of course, the Revenge is a different kind of ship… Warnings: depressive episode, negative self talk, some slight disordered eating (skipping meals) Title Song: I Can’t Handle Change - Roar

You woke up and really didn't want to get out of bed. 

You’d been feeling shitty for the past few days and you really should have seen it coming. That was how it had always worked. But you’d really thought it would be different now, better.

You were much better off now. You were on a good ship, you had a good crew, good captains, a fucking salary, friends. Hell, if someone had asked you months ago what your perfect job would be, this would be pretty damn close. What more could you possibly need? What reason did you have to still feel so awful when everything was going so incredibly well?

A part of you wanted to put your fist through a wall, you wanted to scream at the futility of it all. But you didn’t. You were too exhausted.  Another part of you wanted to curl up in a ball and just stay in bed. That was much more tempting. Being able to just stay here and rot sounded great. 

But you had work to do. You’d worked through this sort of thing before and you could do it again. The crew needed you.

But did they really need you around? You’re no master pirate by any stretch of the imagination. What could you possibly do for them? You were just another pair of hands. No… Actually, you’re just dead weight. And everyone else would be much better off if you weren’t-

Nope.

You sat up quickly. No, you couldn’t do that. If you let your brain go off on these ridiculous tangents then you’d never get out of bed. You grabbed a shirt and pants and got dressed, not bothering to make an effort beyond that. You pulled your fingers through your hair as you walked and immediately got to work.

You didn’t bother getting anything for breakfast. you felt absolutely awful and you knew that it would all taste like nothing and you didn’t want to waste Roach’s food.

You didn’t deserve any.

No.

You shook your head as if that would erase your nasty thoughts. It didn’t of course but it was worth a shot. As the rest of the crew filtered onto the deck you got a few concerned looks. That was new. On every other ship you’d worked on, no one gave a shit if you didn’t eat or if you felt bad. But on the Revenge? You knew that everyone cared but you didn’t want to talk about it all right now and you didn’t want to bother them with your stupid problems.

Rather than talk to them, you scaled the rigging. You rationalized that someone needed to check it anyway and it might as well be you. If you were able to run away from your problems, that was just a bonus.  You stayed up there as long as possible. You checked everything that was possible to check and double checked everything as well.

Of course you couldn’t stay in the rigging all day. But you admittedly did wait just long enough for the crew to go inside for lunch before climbing down. You briefly considered going to grab food but decided against it, not only would it put you at risk of getting into a conversation about how you were feeling, but you knew that no matter what it was it wouldn’t taste like anything.  (Maybe you could risk getting stabbed by Roach to grab something small later.)

Still hoping to avoid the crew, you walked all the way to the head of the ship. You rested your elbows against the railing and stared out at the sea. You knew you couldn’t avoid the crew forever but you could damn well try. You figured that someone would eventually find you and then you’d have to talk about things but you were a coward and you didn't want to.

 If you’d been in your right mind you probably would’ve noticed beforehand but as you were, Edward nearly gave you a heart attack when he clasped a hand on your shoulder. You jumped, spinning around to face him. 

“There you are, mate. Everyone was wondering where the hell you disappeared too and-“  Ed’s voice trailed off as he seemed to take you in. “You alright?”

You forced a smile, though judging from Ed’s eyes you knew it wasn’t convincing. “I’m alright. Didn’t mean to worry anyone.”

“Y/N,” Ed spoke carefully. “It’s been fucking hours since anyone’s seen you.”

You furrowed your brows. “What? No… it’s not been…” You looked around and properly saw your surroundings. It was sunset. “Uh… What time is it?”

“Just past eight bells.” Ed answered, still staring at you.

“Shit.” You mumbled. You really had been standing here for hours. You had the first dog watch slot today. You needed to get going. “Fuck. The watch. I’m so sorry. I must’ve… zoned out or something… Sorry.” You moved to leave but Ed caught your arm.

“No. You’re not on watch today, remember?” 

You froze. “I…” you stammered. Ed was right. You’d had the watch tonight but you’d swapped with Pete so he and Lucius could do something together. You had watch tomorrow. “Fuck.” 

Ed sighed, he walked up beside you and rested his arms on the railing. “So…”

Before he could ask, you interrupted. “Sorry Captain. It won’t happen again.” Ed raised a brow. Shit. You needed an excuse or something… “I just didn’t sleep well last night.” It wasn’t technically a lie. You hadn’t slept well at all but that was just another symptom of the actual problem.

Ed actually chuckled sadly. “That’s a good excuse. Used it myself a few times.” He sighed.  “Let me guess,” Ed mused, “You feel awful. Like nothing matters, nothing you do matters and you don’t matter.” You withered under the accuracy. “Roach mentioned you didn’t have breakfast and you missed lunch and I bet that’s because you knew it wouldn’t taste like anything right?”

He glanced over at you and you almost winced. Ed had always had such expressive eyes but this time you felt like he was seeing through you and there wasn’t anything good to see there. 

“That… ah, that obvious, huh?” You stammered out. Was it really that obvious? Was just how shitty you felt just written on your face? You couldn’t help but think back to all the times you felt like this around other people. It was that obvious… And no one ever cared…

“Nah,” Ed shook his head. “It’s not that. You hide it pretty well. You just look the way I feel when my head’s being a piece of shit.”

You paused, seemingly realizing what he’d shared with you. “You… You feel like that?” You hated how fragile and almost hopeful your voice sounded. 

Ed sighed, looking ahead at the ocean around you. “Yup. Have on and off for quite a while.” 

“But you’re…” you fumbled for words. You decided to just gesture vaguely at him.

Ed laughed, but there was a kind of tension that wasn’t usually there. “Thanks. But yeah. I do. Doesn’t matter what I do or who I am…” He paused then added a sardonic laugh and a “It fucking sucks.”

“That’s an understatement…” you mumbled. 

 It was odd. Sure you’d gotten to meet Ed as “Ed” rather than Blackbeard but even when he wasn’t Blackbeard, he was so charming and interesting. You certainly knew why so many people were drawn to him. It felt completely wrong for him to feel the way you do.

“You can come hang out in our cabin with Stede and I?” Ed offered, almost out of the blue. 

You immediately rushed to decline. “No, no, I couldn’t possibly bother you both.”

“Wouldn’t be a bother. I’m inviting you. Besides I’m sure Stede wouldn’t mind if you turned up. Hell, he’d probably appreciate having another person around.” Ed was quick to counter. 

“I…” you considered refusing again but in all honesty spending the evening with Ed and Stede sounded nice… “Are you sure?”

“Of course I am!” Ed replied quickly then paused. “I mean… unless you’d feel better if you just went back to your cabin… that’s fine too.” He finished off a bit nervously. 

“Actually spending the evening with you two would be lovely.” Honestly the idea of going back to your cold lonely cabin felt sad. But one question remained. “Why offer though?”

“Because I know how much feeling like that sucks and if I can do anything to help you then I want to. I mean, we're friends.” Ed’s eyes widened. “Are we? Friends that is.”

You smiled somewhat awkwardly. “I think so. Yeah. If you’d want us to be.”

“Hmm. Friends.” Ed mumbled more to himself than to you. He sounded almost proud. Then he glanced at you with a grin. “We should probably head in then. Though I will warn you, Stede just got a new tea set and he’s very excited about it so expect lots of tea.” 

You chuckled. “Sounds good to me.” As Ed turned to leave, you caught his arm the same way he’d caught yours. “Thank you. Seriously.”

Ed grinned. “Of course! We’re friends, remember. And you’re welcome to stick around with us for as long as you need.”

You smiled back. It hadn’t gotten rid of the weight in your mind but it certainly felt so much lighter with your friends around you.

[our-death-means-flag]

Iz Hands x a reader with sensory issues. Mostly with voice though, not much with texture and other things. Reader is a good fighter and shit, much like Blackbeard, but just can't stand the constant yelling and noise. I just feel like it'd be interesting to explore that. Izzy noticing reader flinching or covering their ears when he yells and feeling bad. He wants to help but doesn't know how. Maybe they talk and Izzy realizes how much the noise effects them and is sort of like "How the fuck did you captain a ship before then" but later tries to make them or get the crew to make them something to block out noise. Sort of the 1700s equivalent to noise cancelling headphones.

Quiet

Ship: Izzy Hands x Reader (implied romantic but vague enough to be platonic) Notes: You’re a well known pirate and friend of Ed’s, eager to be along for the ride with this strange new world of his. You're skilled enough that when you suddenly react strangely to Izzy yelling at you. He decides to investigate and then help. Warnings: some descriptions of sensory overload, Izzy being bad at comfort (he’s trying)

Honesty, you’d been doomed to this fate the moment you were on a ship with Izzy yells-as-a-hobby Hands.  The only reason it hadn’t happened already was purely luck. But your luck could only last so long.  

You’d had sensitive hearing your whole life. In all honesty, it was an asset as much as it was a hindrance. After all, no one had  been able to sneak up on you. But most times it was a problem. You never knew why but occasionally sound just became unbearable.  Voices in particular. Sometimes hearing someone yell felt like taking a point blank cannon blast to the head.  Usually you could pretend that none of it bothered you. You had developed an art to hiding your flinches and holding back your reactions during your long and successful pirating career. 

But you couldn’t always manage that.  And currently, you were having an incredibly hard time.

It probably wasn’t actually Izzy that pushed you over the edge. Well, at least not only Izzy. The crew’d had a party the night before to celebrate a really good raid. That alone was a lot. 

And now Izzy was yelling as usual. Your brain was so busy screaming about how loud it was you actually had no idea what he was actually complaining about. Each syllable grated on your mind. You were as tense as a bowstring trying incredibly hard to focus on anything but the sound to no avail. Your hands almost trembled so you let go of the rigging you were trying to redo to try and calm the shaking. 

Everything was so damn loud.

You closed your eyes and tried to focus. No dice. You had to get out of here. 

Loud…

Maybe you could make up a reason? Maybe you could say you were hungover from last night's party? Or maybe you just weren’t feeling well? Though, both of those excuses were liable to get you yelled at by Izzy Hands for slacking off… Shit.

Loud.

Maybe you could escape to the stores? When had anyone done inventory last? Or you could climb up to the crows nest? That might be quieter? Maybe-

If you were not as overwhelmed as you were, you would have definitely heard someone getting closer but now, you only realized when a hand grabbed your arm and spun you around. The suddenness of the action did not help your racing mind. Neither did the fact that Izzy Fucking Hands was currently yelling in your face. Your long suffering composure finally broke and you flinched back, clasping your hands over your ears and pulling away. You felt your back hit the railing and your shoulders shaking from gasping. 

Quiet.

Everything was suddenly quiet.

More so than it would be if you had properly covered your ears. Something was up. You peeked your eyes open and saw the whole crew staring at you, dead quiet. Even Izzy, shockingly, had backed up, looking confused at you.

Shit.

“I-” You managed. “Uh.” You fumbled for words, hands still clasped over your ears. “I’m gonna just go… Yeah.” While everyone was still stunned you booked it, pulling one hand off one of your ears just long enough to open a door and disappear below decks, found a quiet corner and curled up in it. You tried to steady your breathing, hands still covering your ears.

Slowly but surely your mind calmed down. You kept your hands where they were but you were feeling a little less like your head was being ripped in half and your brain finally managed to reboot. You groaned. It had been ages since the last time you slipped up this badly in front of people. At least that time you'd been able to write it off as a symptom of blood loss on account of the hole in your side.  This time? This time, you had no excuse. (Maybe you could go with the ‘pretend to be hungover’ plan and just deal with Izzy’s lecture later…)

Izzy wasn’t able to sneak up on you this time since you weren’t completely out of it. The moment the storeroom door opened you looked over. The moment you noticed him you dropped one of your hands into your lap, trying to play it off like you were leaning your head on the other one. “What do you want?” You tried to imbue your voice with some ‘I’m the captain and you have to listen to me’ energy you usually managed to have but not this time. Your voice came as an exhausted whisper.

Izzy looked very odd, lingering at the door like a nervous shadow. “I-” He started at a slightly louder than speaking noise and you jumped ( your body having apparently completely given up on the fight to stay unnoticed). “I’m sorry… I think.” He finished in a stage whisper.

You raised a brow, both from the strangeness of Izzy being so considerate and the strange phrasing. “You think you’re sorry?” You echoed.

“The boy, Spriggs, said I should apologize.” Izzy elaborated. “Though I’m not sure what for.” A pause. Izzy glanced around and gently closed the door behind him. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Your confusion only intensified. This was very odd for him. Sure the apology was stilted and awkward but it seemed genuine. Izzy Hands genuinely apologizing to you… You never thought you’d see the day… He visibly fumbled for more words so you decided to put him out of his misery. “You don’t need to apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

“Look, I’ll tell everyone that you apologized and everything’s all fine. You don't have to do this. I officially accept your not-really-apology for whatever you said.” You commented, chuckling weakly. “You’re free to ditch me.”

“You don’t know what I said?” Izzy looked genuinely baffled.

You shook your head, pulling both hands away from your ears and letting them fall into your lap. “Not a clue. I couldn’t hear you.”

Izzy tilted his head. The gesture looked so odd on him. “Is there something wrong with your ears? Should I get the doctor?”

“No, no. Nothing’s wrong… Well, if there is something wrong it’s been like that my whole life…” Izzy only looked more confused. You considered for a moment. Eh, fuck it. Might as well… “It’s just a thing that happens with me. Sometimes sounds are just…” You motioned vaguely with your hands. “Too loud. Just the yelling and all the noise makes it hard to think.”

“You can’t handle noise?” Izzy asked, still looking disbelieving. You nodded. “Then how the fuck did you captain a ship?” He was clearly still making an attempt to be quiet so his words came out as more of a hiss than a yell.

You shrugged. “I got good at pretending it didn’t bother me. When I was a captain, I could stay in my cabin and avoid most of the noise. Can’t exactly do that anymore, can I?”

“Pretending? So it always bothers you?” 

You nodded. “Yup. Sometimes it’s just too much. With yesterday’s raid and the party… I guess it was a bit much for me. Everything was just too loud. Pretty pathetic huh?” You laughed lightly at yourself. Of course Izzy was going to have a fit over you ditching work for something so stupid.

“Impressive actually.” Izzy stated bluntly 

You did a double take. “What?” If it was supposed to be sarcastic then it was delivered wrong. 

Izzy seemed surprised at your surprise. “What? You work through all that.” You weren’t convinced. Izzy sighed. “You work on a ship full of idiots who won’t do their damn jobs even if you served it to them on one of Bonnet’s stupid fancy plates, and you work through all that shit?”

You couldn’t help the smile. “Was that a compliment you just gave me?” You chuckled. “Who are you and what have you done with Izzy?”

The man rolled his eyes. “Oh fuck off.” His voice was still soft. “Does anyone know?”

You shook your head. “Nope. It’s too easy to exploit in a fight. Don't want to risk it.”

“Not even Ed?”

“No, I think he knows there’s something with me and sound. He’s observant enough but I never told him.” Sure you and Ed had been kind of friends before, for a long time too but before the Revenge, the idea of being allowed to be that vulnerable (even around someone you trusted with your life) felt wrong.  Izzy seemed weirdly stoic for a moment. You wondered how he felt, knowing a secret his captain didn’t. “You can tell him if you’d like. I’m not going to ask you to keep a secret from your captain.” You knew how Izzy’s loyalties lied between you and Ed, but you still didn’t want to put Izzy in an uncomfortable situation because of your screw up.

A moment passed in comfortable silence and you stretched and stood. “Well, back to it…” Izzy held up a hand to stop you from leaving. “What?”

“You’re taking the rest of the day off.” You could tell he meant it as an order even though his voice was still soft. 

“No, no. I can get back to work.” He stared. “Seriously I’m fine. I’ve worked through this sort of thing before.”

Izzy huffed and for a moment you thought he was going to back down but instead. “Take the day off. That’s an order from your first mate.”

You sighed. You weren’t winning this. “You got it, first mate Hands. Don’t hesitate to get me if anything comes up.” He nodded curtly but you doubted he’d get you for anything short of an emergency.  You walked out into the hall towards your cabin. “Also, thank you.” You called over your shoulder. “It was nice of you to come by to check on me, even if it was under duress.” 

“I will take your break back.” Izzy grumbled but you knew it was an empty threat. He’d had to convince you to take the break after all. 

You chuckled. “See you around!”

The day after what you were mentally calling ‘the incident ‘ you came on deck to find nothing unusual. It was quiet, as it usually was. Even back when you were a captain, you always came up on deck early. It was calm and you could get a lot of work done. You waved at Izzy when you came on deck. He returned the wave (after looking behind himself as if he assumed you were waving to someone else).

As the day continued the crew slowly trickled awake. Quite a few people asked if you were “feeling better”. Apparently, Izzy had told everyone you’d had a headache (Sans Ed of course, you caught the slightly concerned looks he gave so, you gave him a thumbs up in return). As soon as the crew was on deck you were already bracing yourself for more yelling. It didn’t take long for someone to piss Izzy off enough. You could see Izzy gearing up for a yelling match while Wee John and Frenchie seemed unimpressed and you were already mentally preparing for the sound. 

It didn’t come.

You heard Izzy instead hiss out a cold “Wait.” at barely above a whisper. Whether it was the unusualness of it all or the serious tone of his voice, they listened. Izzy quickly made his way across the deck to stand at your side. You raised a brow in silent confusion. “Cover your ears.” He mumbled, clearly making an attempt to be quiet. It was strange but you humored him, curious as to what was going on.

As soon as your hands were covering your ears Izzy went back to where he was standing and (after confirming one last time that you had your ears covered) went straight into yelling. 

Huh.

You assumed he'd drop it after a bit. He was just giving you time to recover. That didn’t happen. Instead it became a part of Izzy’s usual routine. When he was going to start yelling, he'd always let you know, at first he had to run up to you, then later all it took was a glance. The heads up did help quite a bit. 

Of course you couldn’t always cover your ears. Whenever you had your hands full and couldn’t do what the two of you usually did, Izzy would instead switch to whispering his threats, grabbing whoever he was talking to and pulling them close.

“They respond better to it as well.” Izzy confided to you one morning, both of you leaning against the railing, drinking coffee and relaxing after a successful raid.. 

You grinned. “I’ve used that strategy for ages. You’d be surprised how intimidating whispering can be.”

Izzy chuckled lightly. After that he stayed quiet for a long moment. You raised a brow. You could tell he was trying to figure out how to bring something up. You decided to stay quiet and let him organize his thoughts.

You were rewarded for your patience by a jumpscare as Izzy just awkwardly shoved something into your arms. You looked down to see you were holding a box? You looked back at him and raised a brow. “It’s a very nice box…” You commented somewhat cheekily.

Izzy was doing a really good job at not looking at you. His face even looked a little flushed. “Piss off. Just open the damn box before I toss it into the damn ocean.” He mumbled. His tone was nowhere near as harsh as usual. 

You smiled, gently opening the box. Inside were a bunch of small pieces of… You picked one up. It was malleable in your hand. Wax. It was some kind of wax. 

“They're earplugs. Apparently they’re for your ears.” Izzy stated bluntly, answering your unasked question.

“In what way?”

Izzy sighed, seemingly unsure of himself. “You put them in your ears. Got them on the raid. Had a very well stocked clinic.” You nodded, you remembered Roach being excited about it all. “Willing to bet half of that shit was some kind of experimental treatment. Not even Bonnet knew all of them so it’s not just fancy. Saw the surgeon’s log. Apparently they’re designed to protect a soldier's ears when they’re fighting.”

“And you grabbed these for me?” You asked, already smiling, you pulled two pieces out and pocketed the box.

Izzy flushed more. “I- Well…I  thought they’d be most useful to you. So…”

“Thank you.” You placed a hand on his shoulder, you felt the flinch even as he tried to play it off. You immediately moved to pull away but Izzy moved his arm slightly as if to follow so you left your hand there. You’d been working the wax in your hand so it was already soft enough to try. You gently placed one into your ear, switching the hand on Izzy’s shoulder to put in the other. 

It actually… Kind of worked.

“I think they work… Izzy, could you yell for a bit.” Izzy chuckled at the request but he did step back a bit and shout. You could hear him well enough that you knew he was calling your name but the sound wasn’t overpowering like it normally was.

“Holy shit.” You whispered. 

Izzy was quick to rush to your side. “Are you alright? Did it work? I-”

You cut him off by placing a hand on both his shoulders and pulling him into a hug. He fumbled for a moment then shivered but clung to you almost desperately.

“Thank you Izzy. Seriously. It means a lot to me.” You whispered.

As close as you were, you could hear Izzy’s soft, “Of course. I’m glad they help you.” 

You had a few minutes before the crew would come on deck. So you closed your eyes, enjoyed the quiet and stayed where you were until then.

[our-death-means-flag]

I loved the new Stede fic! It was so wholesome and happy :)

Honestly, it made my night and you should be very proud of yourself for producing such lovely writing <3

You guys are so nice to me!! (〃▽〃)

Thank you so much! I’m so happy you liked it!

You just made my night! ♡( ◡‿◡ )

[our-death-means-flag]

Floral Scented Hugs

Ship: Stede Bonnet x Reader (ambiguous, could be romantic or platonic) Notes: You ask Stede for a hug. He goes all out.  There needs to be more Stede love out here! He’s a darling. So, I wrote out the whole scenario from the Headcanons: Hugging the Revenge Crew post. Warnings: none

“Uhhh… Captain?” You questioned softly. You couldn’t help but feel kind of anxious. All you’d done was ask Stede if he wanted a hug and he’d gone silent. “You… uh… Don’t have to… I mean… If you don’t want-”

“NO!” Stede cut off, making you both jump at the unexpected volume of the request. “I mean…. Yes, I do want a hug. Just… I need to prepare!” Stede seemed to snap out of his stupor and was immediately rushing off. He made it all the way around the corner before seemingly remembering that you’re still there and excitedly peeked his head back out of his cabin with a huge smile. “Come back to my cabin in two hours! After dinner, alright?” You nodded. Stede grinned wider somehow. “Great! Fantastic! That’s… Great!! See you soon! Toodle-loo!”

Then he fully disappeared into his cabin leaving you standing on the deck, very confused. “Okay?” You mumbled, more to yourself than anything else. “Okay.”

Two hours later you found yourself standing at the door of the captain’s cabin. You weren’t really sure how to prepare for a hug but you had changed into something softer than your usual sturdy clothes. You weren’t really nervous per se. You doubted you could mess this interaction up so badly you’d get hurt (not physically at least, that wasn’t Stede’s style) but it was very strange. Then again, having Stede as a captain had generally been really strange. He didn’t really act like any captain you’d served under or even any you’d heard about. 

You took a moment to compose yourself, then knocked on the door. Then almost jumped out of your skin when the door opened almost immediately and without any warning. Had Stede been standing just inside the door? 

“Ah! Y/N! Good to see you! Come on in!” He beamed, smiling brightly as he quickly ushered you inside. You couldn’t help but notice that he’d changed out of the bright blue suit he’d been wearing earlier into something that looked more like pajamas with a very soft looking golden banyan on top. (Admittedly you had also changed, though it had been mostly in order to save Stede’s fancy clothes from getting dirty.) Being in the captain's cabin was still odd. You felt so terribly out of place amongst all the finery.

“I made tea!” Stede explained excitedly, passing you a small but gorgeous porcelain tea cup. With Stede looking at you almost expectantly you took a quick drink and found it was actually really good. “ It’s  chamomile. Supposedly helps you relax!” He explained before quickly, going into a really unnecessarily ramble about that particular kind of tea and where he got it.

You listened politely, regardless, letting him ramble for a bit and took note of the fact that he was very rapidly drinking his own tea, downing gulps like a drunk in a bar. 

After he seemed to finish his rant, you were about to say something, but we’re very quickly interrupted when he decided to run off to his closet. At this point you were so used to Stede’s strangeness that you didn’t even blink at the fact that he had a secret closet. He emerged moments later holding armfuls of banyans and robes. “Oh! You can borrow one of these if you’d like!”

You gently set down your tea cup and looked at the fabric Stede was holding. All of it seemed incredibly soft and comfortable but also expensive. “Are you sure you don’t mind if I borrow one?” You were already gently holding onto one, a soft ocean blue one with subtle details, but you had to double check. That one article of clothing was more expensive than anything else you owned.

“Of course! You’re more than welcome to!” Stede smiled as he spoke. “I mean, I’ll admit I’m a bit of a clotheshorse and I can hardly wear them all at once!” He gently took the robe from you and draped it over your shoulders, still smiling.

Stede immediately jumped into another monologue. You couldn’t help but notice that it seemed more stilted than usual. Sure he talked a lot, but it was usually some kind of passion behind what he was saying but he seemed very nervous. It sounded oddly formal.

When he paused, you finally got the courage to say something, “Stede, are you doing alright? You seem kind of nervous. We talk things through…” you prompted. 

“… as a crew.” Stede seemed happily surprised by you using his own catch phrase against him. But he sighed, busying himself by refilling his own cup and topping yours off. “I suppose I did get  a tad carried away. I’m not quite sure myself what one does before a hug… I wouldn’t know…”

That made you stare. What? Stede, the guy who’d gotten you a care package when you joined his crew, who’d been so eager to invite you into his luxurious cabin and who (despite his lack of experience) clearly cared about his crew, had never been hugged?

He seemed to notice your surprise. “I’m aware it sounds odd. You see in the circles I’ve lived in my whole life it’s been seen as rather improper.” He sounded almost ashamed, like a part still thought it was improper. “Not that I had many friends, even if it wasn’t…”  He was breaking your heart out here. Stede took a deep breath. “ I’m sure I’ve already fumbled this. This is ridiculous. I-I’m so sorry for wasting your time.”

You were quick to jump in to comfort him. “Hey no, don’t worry you haven’t messed anything up nor have you wasted my time.” You gave him your best comforting smile. “ Besides we’re pirates, and last I checked, pirates don’t care what’s improper.” He gave you such a soft hopeful look that you had to keep talking. “Honestly, I’m kind of looking forward to whatever you have planned.”

He looked up at you with huge puppy dog eyes. “Well, then.” His voice cracked a little bit but he continued confidently anyway.  Quickly jumping to his feet and offering you his hand. “I can hardly disappoint you at this point can I?”

You smiled. “Would be rather rude to do so, yes.” You replied as he took your hand and pulled you up. He sat down on the bed and patted the mattress next to him. Stede’s bed was undoubtedly the softest thing you’d ever touched in your life and it took self control to not sink into it.

After a pause, Stede chimed in with a strained but chipper, “So! Hugs? What… erm… How does one go about that?”

You smiled. “Well, may I take the lead, Captain?”

“By all means!” Stede seemed nervous but was still smiling.

You adjusted a little then gently pulled him into your arms. He tensed, his own hands resting against your back as little as possible. You were a little caught off guard by how strong Stede’s whole body felt, with how clumsy he usually was and how many layers he normally wore, you’d never noticed. You feel him relax. After a moment or two he breathed a deep sigh of relief and just melted into your arms, holding onto you tighter, not enough to be uncomfortable.. You realize that you’ve been running your hand up and down Stede’s back the whole time. You consider stopping but he hasn’t said anything about it so you don’t. 

“This…” Stede mumbles into your shoulder and if he wasn’t so close you definitely wouldn’t have heard it. “This is very nice.” He hummed in contentment, rubbing his face against your shoulder. 

After a nice long hug he pulls away. He’s smiling and his hair is a bit messy. It actually looks really cute on him. “Thank you!” He pats you twice on the back, probably a bit harder than he meant to, considering that you stumble a tad and almost fall in his lap. “Eek! Sorry!” He apologizes immediately, clearly looking concerned. 

You laughed a little. “Of course, happy to help, captain!”

“Stede, call me Stede.” He said quickly, eyes widening as he said it. 

You smiled. “Well then, thanks for all this,” You motioned at the banyan and the cabin in general. “Thanks for the lovely hug, Stede.”

He beamed wider than you’d ever seen. “Of course! I’m glad I didn’t mess it up.” He was almost sheepish.

“I’m no hug expert, in fact I doubt that exists, but I can say that it was a very good one.” You complimented. Stede puffed his chest out a little, clearly proud of himself. “Just say the word if you’d like to do this again.”

“Of course! Have a lovely night, Y/N!” You nodded and stood, already slipping the banyan off. “No, no.” Stede fussed standing alongside you and gently moving the fabric back in place. You raised a brow. “Keep it.”

You stared, stunned, as you toyed with the end of one of the sleeves. It was incredibly soft and comfortable. “I… Are you sure?” You could tell that just this one garment was worth more than everything else you owned combined. It was shocking enough that he let you borrow it but now he was letting you keep it?

“Yes, of course! It suits you incredibly well.” Stede patted you on the shoulder. “I insist!” His voice wasn’t commanding but you could tell that he wasn't going to take no for an answer. It was a very nice banyan.

You smiled. “Thank you. I really appreciate it.” You made your way across the captain’s cabin, clutching your new banyan to yourself tightly. “Good night, cap- erm… Good night, Stede.” You fumbled, all your instincts telling you to call him captain. 

Despite that, Stede didn’t seem annoyed. He simply waved. “See you tomorrow.” 

“Of course! See you tomorrow.” You closed the door to the cabin carefully, not wanting to make too much noise and risk waking anyone. Luckily the crew was all asleep already so you wouldn’t have to explain why you were wearing the captain’s clothes sneaking out of the captain’s cabin after dark. The jokes that Lucius would make… But you could see him, fast asleep against Black Pete’s side. The only one awake was Buttons, who gave you a nod of acknowledgement which you returned (while keeping your gaze averted), and you doubted he’d care.

You made your way back to your cabin. You hadn’t expected to have your own cabin but the ship was huge and Stede was Stede so you ended up with one. It was definitely nice to have your own space. You gently took the banyan off and folded it nicely (even rubbing the spot on your desk where you were planning on placing it down as if to clean it). Sleepily, you changed into your sleepwear and almost collapsed when your attention was pulled back to the soft fabric on your desk. Before you could talk yourself out of it, you grabbed it and put it on before climbing into bed.

As you got comfortable, you realized that everything smelled nice. Like a soft but not overpowering floral smell. You confirmed your suspicions when you sniffed the banyan. It smelled like flowers.

You smiled and fell asleep surrounded by the smell.

[our-death-means-flag]

izzy hands x reader with enemies to lovers. that’s it. that’s the ask. im so in love w that angy little man

Bonding Under Duress

Ship: Izzy Hands x Reader  Summary: Stede really wants the crew to get along or at the very least tolerate each other. Unfortunately that includes you and Izzy. So the two of you get sent on an errand for the captains with the actual goal of the two of you getting to know each other. A storm has other plans and you and Izzy learn much more than you wanted to about each other… Warnings: minor descriptions of injury, Izzy being very mean to himself, angst, hurt/comfort

“Absolutely fockin’ not!”

“As much as I hate to agree with that asshole, no.”

For once you and Izzy agreed on something, both of you glaring at each other when you realized.

Stede wilted. You immediately felt the urge to comfort him. “Captain, I’m not trying to question your judgment here, but really, no. There’s no need for this.” You reassured.

Izzy scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Fockin’ ridiculous…” He grumbled under his breath. “I don’t take orders from you, you posh twat.” He snapped at Stede.

You immediately shot him a deathly glare. “God, you're predictable. Get some new material or just shut the fuck up.” 

“Hey now, both of you. I’m not asking.” Stede puffed his chest out a tad. “It’s an order from your captain. I’m not expecting you two to become best friends or anything. All you need to do is go on that island and bring back some peaches! Shouldn't take more than a couple of hours and who knows, you may learn something about each other.” Stede seemed very optimistic. 

You sighed, already nodding, well aware of how far Stede was willing to go for an idea like this.

Izzy seemed to be about to protest when Ed leaned in. “An order from both of your captains actually!” He chimed in.

“Edward…” Izzy all but whined.

“Izzy.” Edward echoed, even mockingly copying Izzy’s whiny tone.

You watched as Izzy’s face flushed every shade of red, though whether it was rage or embarrassment or maybe both, you couldn’t tell. You bit your lip to keep yourself from laughing.  Izzy must have noticed since that seemed to set him off. “Oh fuck off. I’m not going to some stupid fockin’  island to get some stupid fockin’ peaches with this stupid fockin’-

“Bye! See you in a few hours! Have fun, you two!” Ed yelled cheerfully as he was towed away.  

You waved while watching Izzy in your peripheral vision. The bastard looked furious. So much so that he was practically vibrating with rage. Then again he had been thrown over Ed’s shoulder like a bag of potatoes and all but dragged here. 

“So…” You finally asked, drawing the word out, on guard in case he decided to bite you. “Let’s go find some stupid fockin’ peaches, eh?” You couldn’t manage to mimic Izzy’s voice but if you said so yourself, your ‘fock’ was pretty accurate.

Izzy snarled. “Piss off. We’re not working together. I’m going one way and you go the other.” He turned on his heels and stormed closer to the edge of the forested part of the island. You merely waited. He paused, deep in thought, glanced one way, then the other and then seemingly realized what you already knew.

You, of course, decided to rub it in. “I sure won’t stop you if that’s what you want. But I’d recommend against it. Not only is it against captains’ orders but when was the last time you did any navigating on land?” Izzy seethed and you grinned. “Also I have all the stuff, since rather than acting like a feral dog, I actually packed so… again, all your call of course.”

Izzy very obviously considered running off on his own if just to spite you but instead he turned quickly and stormed up to you. “Fine. You’re right.” He said it like the words burned his throat. “But I swear if you get us lost-“

“Yes, yes, I know, you’ll maim me and/or kill me in some creatively brutal and violent fashion.” You waved a hand dismissively. Deciding to go further you added. “Which you and I both know you won’t do since that’d piss off the captains.” You knew you shouldn’t keep teasing but you enjoyed watching Izzy turn red.

With a seething Izzy following you, you started trekking into the forest. Luckily you’d come prepared and had brought along your wide knife to cut through the foliage. The terrain of the island wasn’t quite the same as the ones you’d been on before but it was close enough.

The two of you walked mostly in silence with you occasionally warning about upcoming hazards in your path. You easily navigated the uneven terrain but Izzy had significantly more difficulty. Probably because he was used to a ship. As much as a ship swaying could mess up your balance, it was not comparable to uneven weird terrain like this. 

The first few times you’d chimed in with a “careful” or “watch your step” Izzy had snarled back at you to “Fuck off”. But after nearly falling on his ass a few times, he started to take your warnings more seriously.

(Honestly you deserved sainthood for not laughing until your lungs failed every time he almost fell. Especially since he’d always flail and pinwheel his arms to keep steady.  Something made even funnier by the fact that he was unharmed beside his ego.)

Luckily for both Izzy and your composure, you managed to track down the peach tree quickly enough. As you clambered up the tree and gathered up the requested fruit, Izzy stood around looking woefully out of place. 

You really were trying to work on Stede’s ridiculous bonding plan but you couldn’t resist and pelted Izzy with a peach. You nailed him dead center in the chest. He jumped clearly not having expected the sudden fruit attack but somehow his reaction time was quick enough to catch the peach as it bounced off his chest. He shot you a glare which you returned with a smile. Izzy tossed the peach in his hand, clearly silently considering throwing it back at you. However you simply motioned with the extra bag you’d brought which was currently full of peaches, making it readily apparent that you would in fact, return fire and that you had much more ammo. He backed off.

You climbed down from the tree and just as you were sorting yourself out…

BONK.

A peach contacted the side of your head. You spun to face Izzy and he had the gall to look confused and  innocent despite the fact that he clearly no longer had a peach in hand. You couldn’t help but smirk as you ducked down to pick up the peach and as you were standing up (but before you fully did) you threw it at him.

It just kept going that way as the two of you walked back. The peach being tossed back and forth with varied strength. Whether or not it was possible to break someone’s nose with a peach, Izzy sure as hell was trying to. Hell he’d nearly succeeded throwing the peach so hard you nearly hit yourself in the face with your own hand just from catching it. You on the other hand, had a simpler goal, you wanted to land it on his head. Izzy seemed to assume that you were aiming for his face so his defenses were focused there instead. You were certain you could land it before the two of you made it to the beach but you didn’t get the chance.

You noticed first. Izzy seemed really uncomfortable on land so that’s probably why he missed it. However you’d thought the air felt off all day. But it was only when the first thunder crack pierced the mostly quiet area that you realized that the off-ness you were feeling was the same way you’d feel before a storm.

Izzy had been mid throw when it happened. The peach hit you in the leg and was instantly forgotten as his attention immediately darted towards where you knew the shore was, doubtlessly worrying about Ed. “We have to get to the Revenge.” 

Izzy looked genuinely concerned so you didn’t give a snarky answer. “We can’t. There’s no way they can get a dingy out in what’s about to be a storm.” Your words were immediately emphasized when rain started pouring down. “We can’t make it back now. Let’s find somewhere to hunker down and get back when the storm passes.” Izzy still looked moments away from booking it back to the ship. “Ed, Fang, and Ivan are all on that ship. You don’t have to trust anyone else, just trust that they can handle it. Don’t risk making them worry about us on top of managing the ship.” 

Izzy cursed under his breath as he visibly struggled with the choice but luckily your logic won him over and you didn’t have to drag him. “Fine.” He hissed the word out harsher than any curse word. 

The storm hadn’t been gracious enough to give the two of you any time to talk and the wind and rain was already getting stronger. Despite just having had to talk Izzy out of this exact thing, you couldn’t help but worry about the Revenge. The island was pretty much all tall mountains, you doubted that your crew had gotten much warning. But you had to accept your own logic. They’d handle it. You could trust Ed and Stede to keep the ship safe (admittedly mostly the former).

The wind and rain made traversing the nasty terrain even more difficult than it had been before. The wind knocked you off balance and the rain made the ground slippery. The warm day you’d been having moments ago had vanished, the rain coupled with the wind made you nearly shiver. Despite the cold, you couldn’t run for cover. You had to painstakingly walk carefully to avoid falling.

After you got dangerously close to losing your balance at the edge of a small valley, you decided to reach out a hand to Izzy since you could tell he was struggling. His frantic stumbling was significantly less funny when he was actually in danger. Of course, Izzy didn’t appreciate your offer. You took it as a testament of how much you’d seen Izzy swear that even over the deafening roaring wind, you could tell he was telling you to “Fuck off”.

You could feel the mud under your boots shifting and you were incredibly worried about it giving out in a mudslide so you tried your damndest to move as quickly as possible. You nearly fell when your boot slipped out from under you. If the wind wasn’t so goddamn loud, Izzy might have actually heard your warning. But the sound of your voice was easily overpowered by the wind.  

Then the ground gave out from under both of you. You just barely had the time to launch yourself backwards, slamming none too gently into a tree for your troubles. Izzy wasn’t so lucky. You were immediately back on your feet and spotted him lying at the bottom of the small valley.

“Izzy?” You called out as loudly as you could. No reply. He didn’t so much as stir. Even if he hadn’t heard you, you doubted Izzy would just lay on the ground. “Shit.” You mumbled under your breath and quickly as you could, you made your way down, none too gracefully. You were at his side shockingly fast. Izzy was a little banged up but he was breathing thankfully, though it looked like he’d hit his head. He was out cold. “Well, shit.” You mumbled to yourself.

You ducked down and were able to carefully maneuver Izzy into your arms. For such a small man, he was shockingly heavy. But the universe did give you a bit of mercy when you spotted a small cave, looking to be most protected from the storm. You managed to drag the two of you inside. You put both Izzy and the bag of peaches down and dropped down to the ground, exhausted. Even though you were out of the wind in the rain, you were still soaked and you were still freezing. You forced  yourself to get back up. 

Luckily, the wind blew quite a few sticks further into the cave so you weren’t stuck trying to build a fire with wet tinder. Cold and uncomfortable as you were, it was incredibly difficult to be patient enough to slowly grow the fire but your dedication paid off. Before long You were basking in the warmth of a newly made fine.

You pulled off your overcoat which, while completely soaked, had protected most of your clothes. Izzy had given you shit about it, how a long coat wasn’t practical in the Caribbean (ironic, coming from a man in leather pants and a leather vest). 

Despite what you wanted to do you knew you couldn’t just sit by the fire. You had  to take care of Izzy as well. You dragged yourself up and knelt down by Izzy. He had a small cut on the back of his head but luckily it didn’t seem to be that bad. You didn’t hesitate to tear off one of your sleeves to wrap it up. You pulled Izzy as close to the fire as you dared but he was still shivering a little. You managed to pull him up so you could start the daunting task of getting him out of his vest and shirt. His vest was pretty easy but his shirt was completely soaked and probably responsible for sapping a lot of his body heat. 

As you untied his cravat you noticed the ring around it. You’d spotted the ring before (gotten a pretty close look when Izzy decided he needed to get into your face to yell at you). He always wore it. It was clearly important to him so you didn’t want to just set it aside and risk it getting lost, so instead you slipped it into one of your pockets. At least it would be safe there until Izzy was conscious enough to not lose it.

You had to rest his head on your shoulder so you could wrestle his dead weight out of his shirt. ‘Please don’t wake up right now. Please don’t wake up right now, ‘ you silently begged the universe, because, while you usually followed Stede’s ‘talk it through’ method, that was a conversation that you didn’t want to have. Luckily for once in this dumpster fire of a day, you at least got that and Izzy stayed unconscious. 

You definitely did not glance at his chest, taking in the mix of scars and tattoos that you’d never seen before. And it definitely didn’t look incredibly attractive on him. Not at all.Your jacket was dry at that point so you laid it over Izzy as a makeshift blanket. You considered taking his sword since you didn’t want to get stabbed on instinct when he woke up, but you also figured he’d probably feel better if he had it with him. 

You crumpled against the opposite wall of the cave and basked in the warmth of the fire. Since you were the only one who was conscious, you had watch duty by default. You glanced at Izzy. Hopefully he’d wake up soon. You doubted you could carry him back to the dingy and leaving him behind so you could get someone to help you made you incredibly nervous. 

It was strange to see him so calm. With his face so relaxed and your sleeve wrapped around his head, he looked like a completely different person. You let yourself stare at him for a moment before focusing on something else. Luckily your bag full of peaches was within arm’s reach. Quite a few of them had been crushed or otherwise mangled by the rough journey but you managed to find one that was mostly intact.

At least you had snacks…

---

It wasn’t easy to gauge the passage of time in a cave but you’d have to guess it had been around an hour. You’d had to go grab more twigs and tinder for the fire and the rain seemed to be slowing. That was something at least. Looked like the storm was going to stop soon. Then you’d have to figure out how to get Izzy and yourself back to the Revenge. 

Before you could worry about that a low raspy groan caught your attention. Izzy was waking up… He immediately grabbed at his head, hand going for the injury at the back of his head. 

“Careful!” You said, more on instinct than anything else.

His eyes immediately darted to you and after a brief moment where he seemed to take in his surroundings, he immediately drew his sword and pointed it at you and skittered away as best he could until his back hit the wall. His whole body seemed shaky and uncertain, the hand holding the sword was trembling.

You held your hands up in slight surrender, not wanting to freak him out any more than you already had. “Well, good morning to you too…” you managed, voice shaking slightly with an awkward chuckle. He stared longer. Not knowing what to do, you cracked a joke to ease the tension. “I know, the one sleeve thing looks great on Ed but it sure looks stupid on me eh?” You motioned with your bare arm for emphasis.

“What the fuck…?” He managed to hiss out, he looked genuinely confused.

You furrowed your brow. “Do you remember what happened?” You weren’t a doctor by any means but memory loss could happen with head injuries.

“I…” Izzy managed. He lowered his sword and clutched at his head. “I fell?” He mused, more to himself before a look of clarity passed over him and he hissed out “stupid fockin Stede Bonnet. Stupid fockin peaches.” 

You breathed a sigh of relief, if he was pissed off, then that was back to the status quo for Izzy. “So you definitely remember then. How’s your head?”

“How the hell do you think it is? It fuckin’ hurts.” He snapped at you. He glanced around getting a proper look at your surroundings. “What the fuck happened?”

Glad that he seemed more calm and had stopped pointing a sword at you, you explain what happened: how he’d  fell, how you’d dragged him here. When you reached the part where you’d taken his shirt off, he’d immediately looked down and seemingly realized that he was in fact, not wearing a shirt. He pulled your jacket up to cover himself more, looking almost comically like a blushing lady. 

“Why the fuck?” He immediately snarled at you.

You rolled your eyes. “Because it was soaking wet and you were shivering? You would’ve frozen your damn tits off if I hadn’t.”

He looked like he was moments away from snapping at you when he stopped himself and his hand immediately shot to his throat. Before he could say anything you jumped in, well aware of what he was about to ask. “I have it, don’t worry.” You patted the ring in your pocket. Izzy stared at you almost nervously. You probably would’ve teased him at any other time but you could tell he was genuinely concerned, so you didn’t. 

You stood slowly and walked around the fire, choreographing your movements as not to take him by surprise. “Here,” you said as you gently placed the ring in his hand. He clutched it tightly to his chest, one hand clutching his ring and the other toying with the fabric of your coat. You sat back down and leaned against the wall of the cave.

You expected Izzy to break the silence with an insult or a sarcastic comment, instead you got a soft, shaky, “Why?”

“You wear that ring all the time. It’s clearly important to you and I didn’t want it to roll away or get lost or  something. I-“

“Not the ring.” Izzy interrupted. You raised a brow. “This.” He motioned at himself and the cave around the two of you. “All of this.”

You didn’t expect to somehow get more confused after his explanation. “What do you mean by ‘this’? I mean, sure a cave ain’t all that cozy but it got us out of the storm…. Besides-“

“No!” Izzy snapped, clearly furious. You immediately shut up, not sure what to do. He luckily didn’t raise his sword at you but he leveled a finger pointing at you accusingly. “Why did you do any of this?”

You furrowed your brows, trying to figure out what he meant. “Uh, you know that if I’d left you back there, you could’ve died?”  

He nodded as you thought he might get it then he spoke again. “You hate me.” He said it so matter-of-factly, as if it were just a given, a fact of the world.

You blinked. The pieces clicked together. “I don’t hate you.” You explained softly. Izzy scoffed, disbelief clear on his face. “No, I’m being honest. I don’t hate you. Granted  you can be a fucking asshole. But, I only give you shit because you give my crew shit. I don’t hate you. And even if I did I sure as hell wouldn’t have left you for dead.”

Had he really expected you to just leave him there? 

“Wait…” Though, that did raise a concerning question… “Are you telling me that you would have left me?”

Izzy rolled his eyes. “Of course not. You’re one of few people on that ship that knows what they’re doing. Besides, even if I wanted to, the crew wouldn’t believe me.  Even if it was an accident, they’d all assume I killed you. But they actually like you. Even the captains. You could come back drenched in my blood and they’d still believe whatever you said.” Izzy chuckled humorlessly.

You stared, too stunned to speak. Suddenly, you felt awful about teasing him before. No wonder he was so incredibly hostile if he thought you could murder him and get away with it, that you hated him enough to do it. You buried your face in your hands. “Damn it, I’m so sorry.”

“Why?” You glanced up to see Izzy was staring at you, confusion clear on his face. 

You hesitated, trying to figure out how best to phrase it so it wouldn’t sound patronizing. “I’m so sorry for anything I did that made you feel like you weren’t safe with me. I doubt my words mean much but, I really wasn’t going to do anything more than tease… or hit you with a peach… Sorry about that too.”

His expression only got more confused. You watched as he went from confused to a little scared then immediately to annoyed. “Don’t pretend to care!” He snapped. “If you're planning on lowering my guard for some later attack, it wont work.”

 The ‘it won’t work this time’ was implied. Sure, you hadn’t been a pirate all that long, but you certainly knew how awful people could be. You couldn’t help but wonder about Izzy’s scars. Had he gotten any of them from crew members who hated him? Just waiting for a moment of vulnerability to pounce. 

Izzy Hands was making far too much sense for you all of a sudden. 

“That’s happened before?”

Izzy all but growled at you for that then he actually looked at you. He seemed surprised by whatever he saw. “Of course.” He replied, again his voice matter-of-fact as if that was somehow supposed to make sense. 

 But you were undeterred. “That may be how some people are… But you’ve made it pretty clear how soft and pathetic the Revenge Crew is.” He didn’t seem convinced. “If I really wanted to do something like that, we literally would not be having this conversation right now!” You emphasized. 

“Unless you want something from me.” Izzy snapped immediately.

“Well, I don’t. Not really. You don’t really have to believe me. But I’m not going to hold this over your head. Really, I would've done the exact same thing if anyone else got hurt.” 

Izzy stared at you, eyebrow raised. After a long moment, he huffed and broke eye contact. “I can’t understand you…”

You sighed. It seems like the two of you got completely opposite things from this. You could finally understand at least in part why Izzy was like that, while he was completely baffled by you. You were saved from the uncomfortable silence by noticing that the rain had finally subsided. “Ah, the rain’s gone. Finally, we can get back to the ship.”

---

Izzy watched, pensive, as you stood and stretched, grabbing the bag filled with those stupid fockin peaches, carefully putting out the fire and generally cleaning up. He couldn’t help but notice your bare arm, the one whose sleeve was currently wrapped around his head. 

“Oh, here!” You tossed him his vest, shirt and cravat. They were all in good condition. You’d clearly taken care to take them off without damaging them. Eager to put all this strangeness behind him, Izzy wrestled his shirt and vest on, keeping an eye on you as he did.

None of this made any sense. 

You hated  him. He knew that. You’d made it clear from the moment you’d met. You were Bonnet’s first mate, loyal to your captain and protective over your crew. You’d made it no secret that you didn’t like how he did things. 

Izzy had been hated before. Of course he had. He had a position that people wanted and he was well aware that he wasn’t all that likable. At least before people had a reason to fear him as well. You didn’t. You had an entire crew behind you and with Edward so wrapped up in Bonnet, Izzy didn’t have anyone to protect him. 

Well, except… You, apparently.  You, who’d had every opportunity to get rid of him on this stupid trip even before the storm came in.

 And yet, here he was. Unharmed. Not only had you not tried anything besides the same teasing as usual, but you’d actually saved him. That alone was completely ridiculous. But you’d done more than that. You’d gone out of your way to take care of him. (His ring felt like it was burning in his hand as he put it back in place.) Even if you weren’t going to kill him solely out of respect for your captains, you wouldn’t have needed to do any more than drag him here. Yet, you’d not only torn your shirt to patch him up, you’d given him your jacket and even taken the time to make sure he didn’t lose his ring, just because you knew it was important to him.

He tried to stand but he was quickly overcome with dizziness and nausea so he stumbled. He braced himself to hit the ground but… Instead he found himself leaning against your chest, your arms wrapped around him.

“Shit! Izzy you okay? Ah, fuck dumb question, sorry. Are you feeling dizzy?” Your voice was still so fucking concerned. No mockery. You gently pulled away, seemingly unphased by the fact that he wasn’t responding to you, still supporting him so he didn’t fall. “You… uh… can hang on to my jacket if you like?” Your words made him realize that he was still desperately clutching your jacket.

He hissed out a “Fuck off” on reflex but… Fuck it. He slipped your jacket on. It didn’t really fit all that well but it was warm. 

You smiled. “How about this…” You let him wrap an arm around your shoulder. “I don’t think you should be walking on your own but I sure as hell can’t carry you anymore. For such a tiny man, you’re rather heavy…”

Izzy scoffed. “Not my fucking fault you’re a giant.” He grumbled. There was less bite in his tone than usual but it was absolutely still there.

You smiled at the insult. “I’ll take that as you feeling a bit better. You’re already being a snarky asshole.”

It had been a pain in the ass to clamber back up the hill he’d slipped down. Honestly, Izzy was surprised you managed to clamber down in the middle of the storm and not fall as well. 

The walk back was generally quiet only broken by your occasional comment of “careful” or “watch your step” which, Izzy was realizing, you’d done before. He’d assumed that you were being condescending. But now, considering everything else you’d done you must have been genuinely warning him. The more he thought about it the more he realized how you’d never really been that bad. You teased and occasionally the two of you would get into genuine arguments, but you never did anything particularly malicious. And you clearly cared about your crew. You’d check in on everyone (himself included he realized suddenly) after a raid, make sure everyone ate, and, while you were far too lax about it in Izzy’s opinion, you did make sure chores got done.

Hell, considering how much of non-captain Stede fockin’ Bonnet was, Izzy had little doubt in his mind that you’d been mostly running the ship.

You were still soft. Too soft. But, clearly, it was working to some extent.

You were actually making far too much sense for him all of a sudden. 

Dammit.

Luckily, it didn’t take long for the two of you to find the beach. The Revenge was visible in the water and even from this distance, Izzy could tell that it was undamaged. A dinghy was also already enroute and its passengers all immediately waved at the two of you once they spotted you. 

Edward, impatient as ever, decided he wasn’t going to wait and jumped off the dinghy and waded the last few feet of water before sprinting over to you. “Izzy! Y/N! You two okay? Nasty one that was, huh?” (Any other time, Izzy would have probably chastised him for jumping into the water like that (especially after a storm) but right now, he was just glad to see his captain was safe. )

“Izzy hit his head. Pretty sure it's not that bad but he might have a concussion.” You reported quickly. “Is everyone else all right?”

“Everyone’s fine!” Ed replied.

“The ship?” Izzy asked.

“Fine as well, Iz. No worries.” Edward assured. A pause. “Well… Aside from a few of Stede’s books.” 

Izzy rolled his eyes. Of course.

The dinghy ride back was irritating. Roach seemed determined to check Izzy for a concussion right then and there. Though, it seemed that he agreed with you. Izzy would be fine. He’d definitely feel it tomorrow but he’d live.

The moment the two of you set foot on the Revenge, Stede was there. “Oh thank goodness! We were incredibly worried! I’m very sorry about all this! The storm really surprised us.” 

Luckily, Izzy’s head had calmed enough that he could pull away from you and lean against the railing instead. He quickly glanced around, the deck was messier than usual but didn’t look all that bad. His attention couldn’t help but drift back to you…

You were giving a quick report of everything (far more professional than Stede Bonnet deserved) before presenting him with the bag full of peaches. Bonnet was quick to announce that everyone was getting some kind of peach dessert that Izzy had never heard of as a reward for making it through a storm. Izzy scoffed. The reward for making it through a storm was being alive.

As Bonnet ran to the chef so he could explain this weird dish, you walked back to Izzy, leaning against the railing next to him. “I can handle everything up here. You should probably lie down.” You explained softly.

“Don’t need to lie down.” Izzy grumbled back.

You rolled your eyes. “What’s the point of having two first mates on a ship if you can’t take a break? I’ll get Captain Ed to drag you if I must.”

“Fine.” Izzy spat. A long pause. Izzy glanced around. Everyone seemed not to be focused on the two of you. “Thank you.” He said quickly.

You smiled. “Yeah, of course. Don’t worry about it.”

“...I’m still going to be a dick.” He confessed.

That actually made you laugh and Izzy couldn’t help but think that he liked that sound. “Duh. I’m not expecting anything to change. And I’m still going to give you shit.”

Izzy chuckled himself and nodded. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

You pushed off of the railing and waved goodbye. “Well, I’m off to ask Stede if I can borrow one of his shirts for a bit. See you around!”

“Good luck.” Izzy replied, both of you well aware that you were going to be dragged into Stede’s wardrobe and not return for hours. You chuckled. 

Just as expected, the moment you asked, Stede’s face lit up and you were immediately dragged off into his pastel colored hell.

Before Izzy could even take a breather, Ed was all but leaning on his shoulder. “Hi. You’re going to lie down.” His voice held the same force as an order. Izzy sighed, well aware that resistance was futile.

As Izzy was all but dragged back to his cabin, with a promise that someone would go check on him later, Ed decided to talk. “So,” His captain began with a grin that heralded problems. “Nice jacket.” Izzy’s eyes widened as he realized he was still wearing your jacket. “Guess you guys really got to know each other huh?”

“Piss off.” Izzy grumbled but made no move to take your jacket off. “My clothes were wet.”

“Ooh! So they saw you naked too?” Ed teased and Izzy all but short circuited.

“I- Ah… My shirt and vest were wet.” Izzy clarified, somewhat shakily.

Ed merely hummed. Izzy knew him well enough to know he wasn’t done. “So… when's the wedding?”

“Edward.”

A/N: Izzy’s one of my favorite characters so I have to be mean to him. Also, I've gotten a few requests for enemies to lovers with Izzy, so, there will be more coming soon. (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

[neenarchive]

(enjoys male characters in a lesbian way)

[hotroadkill]

[our-death-means-flag]

ur blog means the world tm <3

i... you guys are gonna make me cry!!! (/▿＼ )

thank you! i'm so glad you enjoy my work!

[our-death-means-flag]

izzy hands x reader where like him, they get up with the sun and work all day but unlike him, they get intense migraines when they’re overwhelmed. this can be literally as short as you want it to be im just so anxious lately and my head hurts like hell

For Professional Reasons

Ship: Izzy Hands x Reader Summary: When you’re not up when you usually wake up, Izzy goes to check on you. For totally professional reasons. Warnings: Izzy

Izzy woke up before the sun as usual. He got ready quickly and headed up to the deck and noticed something was off immediately. Usually you’d be there to greet him. The idea of having two first mates on a ship felt utterly ridiculous but the Revenge was utterly ridiculous in a lot of ways. At least you actually were competent. All of his yelling did nothing but as soon as you asked gently, the crew would leap to do whatever you asked. It was ridiculous. But you were… fine. It was almost nice to have someone up with him early in the morning. The two of you would drink your coffee or tea together and it was nice. Hell, sometimes you were awake before him and he’d walk on deck to see you already working, usually with a cup of coffee all ready for him. For you to not be up already working was incredibly bizarre. 

He briefly considered waiting for you but his mind was already buzzing with everything horrible that could have happened. Fuck it. He was going to go get you.

 Izzy tried to rationalize it as just a part of his duty. He needed to check on you for completely professional reasons. Definitely. 

He already had a hand on his sword as he knocked on the door of your cabin. He’d knocked on your door before and you’d always been quick to cheerfully invite him in. So not getting a response was concerning.  Sword drawn, he decided that he was going in. If anything had happened to you, he would raise hell. For completely professional reasons. Izzy pushed the door open and rather than some terrible scene all he saw was you curled up in your bunk, pillow wrapped around your head. 

“Y/N?” He asked. His voice came out much gruffer than he meant to. 

“Hmm? Yeah?” You mumbled sleepily. Then your eyes widened as you seemed to recognize him. You jumped, immediately sitting up and looking much more out of order than he’d ever seen. “Shit! Izzy! Fuck! I’m late right? I’m so incredibly sorry!”

You managed to stumble to your feet and grab your jacket before Izzy fully realized how terrible you looked. You looked like you hadn’t slept in a while (despite having just rolled out of bed) and you had one hand clutched to your head even as the other fumbled with the buttons on your jacket. Izzy had no clue how to deal with this. Were you sick? Hurt?

“Y/N?” He asked again softer this time.

You were still kind of mumbling about being sorry. Clearly you weren’t going to listen so he grabbed you by the shoulders and all but shoved you back in bed. That seemed to snap you out of it somewhat. You still had one hand on your temple. “Iz, I’m sorry. I’ll be right up, I promise.” You restated, conviction  clear in your tone.

“What’s wrong with you?” Izzy asked and immediately felt bad when you flinched. That sounded so much more like an insult than an honest attempt to ask what’s wrong. You looked moments away from apologizing again and Izzy felt like he might drop dead if you kept apologizing to him when he’s the one being a dick. “No, fuck… That sounded… Fuck. Are you… Are you alright?” He tried.

You gave him one of those patient smiles that made him want to hurl himself into the ocean because of how they made his heart jump.  “I’m… I’m fine. It’s just… Just a migraine.” You shrugged, making Izzy realize he still had his hands on your shoulders. He instantly let go but you just smiled as if you didn’t mind at all. “I get them sometimes. Especially when I’m overwhelmed and yesterday…” You smiled, any casualness you were attempting to portray made moot by your obvious wince.. “Yesterday was a lot.”

Izzy could definitely see where you were coming from there. The crew had done two raids almost back to back when their target ship was sailing with another smaller ship. It had gone well with only minor injuries but it had been utterly draining. Even Bonnet was too exhausted for his ridiculous storytime and (rather than complaining as they usually would) the crew didn’t even make a fuss. But you’d seemed fine. 

Although… Now that he thought about it. You had still been working by the time he’d gone to bed. “Did you sleep at all?” 

You looked almost guilty, like a kid who got caught staying up too late. “Not really. Maybe an hour or two. Usually can’t sleep when I have them… Hurts.” 

“That bad?” 

“Feels like I took a cannonball to the skull at point blank.” You chuckled, humorlessly.

Izzy hissed in sympathy. He knew a thing or two about being kept up by pain. 

“I really can be up on deck in a few minutes. I won’t make you take double duty ‘cause of me.” You offered. You seemed more worried about inconveniencing him than your own pain.

“No.” Izzy replied firmly. “You are going to stay here. Lie down. I’m sure I can handle the idiots for one day on my own. Hell, maybe if I told them that you wanted them to do their chores they’d actually do them.” He felt oddly satisfied when that got a slight chuckle out of you.

“Iif the crew gets too rowdy, feel free to drag them in here and I’ll look all pathetic and sad. Might work.” You added with a small smile. 

Izzy rolled his eyes but it probably would work…  “Is there anything that can help with your migraines?”

You smiled again and Izzy was feeling incredibly unprofessional. “Thanks. A cold compress would be good if that’s not too much of a pain…”

“I’ll get one.” Izzy nodded, already planning ahead how to make sure you got fresh compresses throughout the day. “And when Roach is up, I;ll get you something light to eat.” He offered.

“Thank you. Just… If there’s an emergency, don’t hesitate to come get me, okay?” You sighed and lied down.

“Of course.” Izzy lied, well aware that he wouldn’t bother you unless the ship was actively on fire and/or sinking.

As Izzy turned to leave, he was stopped dead in his tracks by a soft hand grabbing his ungloved hand. He turned to see you smiling. “Thanks Iz.” You said, your tone soft and kind and genuinely grateful. “It really means a lot.”

He gripped your hand back for a moment before catching himself and letting go. “You’re welcome… Now just lie down…”

Izzy all but ran out of your cabin, closing the door as softly as he was able, trying to push the thoughts of how soft your hand was and how gentle your smile was out of his mind. 

The way he traced his palm where you’d touched his hand, was irrelevant.. He was just helping you out. First mate to first mate. Totally for professional reasons. That was all. 

A/N: I get migraines too and this was as much for me as it was for you, anon. Hope you enjoy

[our-death-means-flag]

I just wanted to say that all of your concepts sound wonderful and I can’t wait to read them!! The first and the last are my favorites but I’m excited to read anything you post!! <3

(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) thank you so much! i'm so glad people are enjoying my silly little ideas!!

[saltpepperbeard]

Cheers to more meta, more gifsets, more art, more tags, and more fanfiction.

Cheers to more ships, more kisses, more snuggles, and more love.

Cheers to more laughter, more kindness, and more butterflies.

Cheers to having so much new content to look forward to.

Happy New Year, OFMD Fandom! 🎉

Cheers, m’dears! 💖🏳️‍🌈🏴‍☠️

[our-death-means-flag]

idk if you take requests but izzy hands x male!reader who has cptsd. they aren’t dating yet and absolutely fucking hate each other. always at each others throats. one day, ed and stede decide to dock the ship at a certain place, presumably near australia to have drinks with some of eds old buds. as everyone’s moving to get off of the ship & enjoy the land, reader fucking freezes. no one really notices, thinking it to just be him taking in the good view of the town, but he’s having flashbacks. the town they were in was his hometown & he did not come from a good family— I’ll leave it at that. Izzy’s the last one to move off, having been securing some shit at the front & starts to chastise him for being so fuckin slow. he just says something rude as fuck about him just standing there & reader jumps up, clearly startled and tells him to fuck the hell off. izzys surprised at this because for some reason it just felt different— like he had crossed some type of invisible line. reader reluctantly walks to land, hands shaking. Izzy’s just concerned because he’s sort of like what the fuck why don’t they have their dagger against my fucking neck right now. eventually they all go on some type of nature hike, stede’s request, having lived on land majority of his adult life and wanting to explore the newfound territory with Ed. while there the crew (mostly Lucius) is confused as to why reader hasn’t said anything funny or snarky yet. usually he would be the one to make them laugh at shit, if not frenchie or just the ships usual antics. something was just off. the way y/ns eyes glazed over when he saw something vaguely familiar, the ever-so-slight tremble in his left hand. later, lucius says some shit like “are you alright?” And iz just fucking I don’t even know. he corners the reader and sort of passive aggressively orders him to tell him what the fucks going on. cue reader really really really hesitantly opening up after saying some snarky shit in resp to him. maybe it leads to them confessing to each other? or getting really drunk? or cuddling? maybe all three.

Will I Ever Get Out of This Town?

Ship: Izzy Hands x masc!Reader Summary: A visit to a familiar port brings back horrible memories for Y/N but an unexpected person tries to help. Notes: Per request, masc!reader!  I’m no expert on these topics and my personal experience is kinda lacking but I did my level best to write everything as respectfully as possible. Title from Walking Around a Sh*tty Old Town At Midnight by TheEggoMan (I might start using lyrics or quotes for all fic titles since i’m really bad at coming up with names Warnings: y/n being mean to himself, mentions of past abuse (physical and verbal), cptsd, panic attacks, vague traumatic flashbacks, Izzy being Izzy (he’s trying to help but he’s not great at it), drinking

It hadn’t changed a bit.

You stood on the deck, white knuckle gripping the railing, looking out onto the horribly familiar port town.

Your hometown hadn’t changed a bit.

You weren’t sure what you’d been expecting. 

Well aside from never coming back here. The day you’d left this place behind was the day you’d promised yourself that you’d never come back. And yet, here you were. 

It was pathetic. You were a goddamn adult. It had been years since you’d been here. So why was being here still fucking with you? The rational side of you remembered some of the stuff you’d heard about long lasting trauma but the much less rational and much much louder side of you, kept reminding you that you were still the same terrified kid you’d been all those years ago. That you hadn’t grown or changed at all.

You tightened your grip on the rails. You could distantly hear the chatter of the crew as they all set out on the “nature walk” Stede had insisted on. But your mind was elsewhere. Even as you tried to cling to the present your mind dragged you back into the past. 

Raised voices.

Bruises.

Things breaking.

You breaking.

Being trapped in a life that made the idea of working yourself to death on a pirate ship seem like an improvement.

It all came back. Everything you’d tried not to think about.

You hadn’t even noticed someone approaching until a hand grabbed your shoulder. The instincts you’d managed to train over years of piracy vanished and rather than snapping the offending wrist or pulling your knife, you cowered away, spinning so fast you were almost dizzy and all but slamming your back into the railing, arms desperately pulled up to protect yourself even though you knew full well that it wouldn’t do much.

Chest heaving from exertion your mind finally registered what was actually going on in the present. Izzy fucking Hands, crown prince of asshole himself,was right there looking at you with a confused expression, if he’d said anything you hadn’t heard it. Usually you’d push, make some snarky comments about him or whatever he’d been asking you to do. But you were still gripped tightly by the past so all you could manage was a weak “Fuck off.”

Desperate for a quick escape, you all but ran down the plank to catch up with the rest of the crew, leaving a rather confused Izzy behind.

Izzy had noticed almost immediately that something wasn’t quite right with you. He’d always run a tight ship and keeping an eye out for anyone acting off was part of that. And you’d been off ever since Ed had set out their next course. You’d been quieter than usual. That wasn’t good. A change like that…  It usually meant that mutiny was brewing.

But it didn’t seem to be a mutiny. You were just as polite and respectful as ever with the captain(s).

You just seemed… distracted. When he’d snapped at you for something you’d respond with a generic “fuck off” rather than the usual creative retorts you always managed to give. It was disconcerting.

You were a bastard and Izzy hated your guts but you were also one of few people on the ship with an actual functioning brain. If he gave you an actually important task, you’d tell him off but it would get done well. You were still working but you seemed off.

Your weird behavior had started when Ed had decided on the next port you all were stopping at so Izzy wondered if maybe you were planning on deserting. It was possible. More likely than a mutiny in your case. But that would also be a pain. Not only were you actually competent, but you could also rally the idiots to actually get work done. Losing you would be (as much as Izzy was loath to admit) a hit to the crew as a whole. (Besides Izzy would bet money that Bonnet was the kind of idiot to send a fucking search party of you didn’t come back)

Izzy’s plan had been to stay on top of your movements while at port and drag you back if needed. But contrary to what Izzy had expected, you didn’t jump at the chance to leave the ship, in fact you did the opposite…

You were just standing there, staring off into the distance. Izzy rolled his eyes. Seriously? You really were acting off if you were getting distracted so easily. “The fuck are you doing?” Izzy snarled, already anticipating your snarky response. He didn’t get one. Hell, he didn’t even get a response at all. You didn’t so much as twitch. Izzys irritation won over his concerns and he grabbed your arm. “If we needed something to just stand there motionless, we’d buy a fucking statue! Get fucking moving or-“

He was cut off but not the way he expected. Any other day he wouldn’t have been able to get close enough to grab you and if somehow he’d managed it, he’d end up with your knife at his throat. Instead you spun to face him, a look of abject fear on your face as you cowered behind your hands. You blinked, as if waking up from a dream and glared at him. He expected the usual snarky comment but instead all he got was a weak, shaky, “fuck off” and then you just ran off. More strange behavior. You telling him to fuck off wasnt all that unusual but you typically had more to say. 

But not this time.

Instead Izzy was left standing alone on deck as you all but ran to catch up with the rest of the crew.

Something was wrong.

Something was most certainly wrong. Your actions made it readily apparent. Or rather your lack of actions. 

Izzy had appointed himself as the unofficial watch for this stupid “nature hike” and was doing his damndest to keep the idiot brigade from getting themselves killed. But he couldn’t help but notice you. You usually had a slew of snarky comments about almost any situation. You weren’t too shy about voicing your thoughts. But not today. Aside from a few hums and a yes or no in response to a question, you hadn’t said a damn word. Izzy would be lying if he said he wasn’t kind of missing it. As much as you went along with Bonnet’s stupid schemes, you were much more of a real pirate than the rest and your commentary was annoyingly entertaining. He remembered having to bite his tongue to keep from chuckling at a few of your jabs. It was really off putting to see you so… placid. You just followed along and moved almost in a daze. At one point he'd seen Frenchie grab your arm to pull you over to see something and you’d gone stock stiff under the grip.  But what the fuck was he supposed to do about it? 

Though it seemed he wasn’t the only one… It had been a bit into the nature hike. (If Izzy had to listen to one more fucking dumbass bug and/or plant spiel from Stede Fockin’ Bonnet, he’d probably accept getting murdered by Ed just so he could kick Bonnet’s teeth in a little.) You had been conscripted by Edward to help him hunt down some kind of food and the rest of the idiots were lazing around waiting while Bonnet grabbed a few crewmembers to start a fire. Izzy was watching that trainwreck occur.

“What the hell did you do?” The harsh tone wasn’t all that surprising, what was surprising however was who it was coming from. Izzy glanced to see none other than Spriggs, standing arms crossed.

Izzy sighed. He was so incredibly not in the mood for this shit. “What?” He all but snarled the word. 

Just as before, Spriggs didn’t even waver. “You know what!” Izzy’s expression shifted from annoyed to annoyed and confused. “Y/N! What did you do to him?” 

That caught Izzy off guard. “What I did?”

That only seemed to piss Lucius off more. “Of course you! You’re always being such a fucking dick to him! I saw you yelling at him before we got off the ship and now he’s barely talking to anyone. What did you say?”

A part of Izzy felt a little vindicated to know that he wasn’t the only one who noticed. “I didn’t.” He seemed moments away from being interrupted when he added a curt “I didn’t say anything out of the ordinary. He’s been acting off for a while actually.” Lucius didn’t seem convinced. Izzy huffed a sigh. “The reason I was yelling at him earlier was because he was zoning out. He was just staring. He didn’t even notice me until I grabbed his shoulder. I doubt he even knows what I said.”

Lucius narrowed his eyes. Izzy resisted the urge to fidget under the scrutiny. After a long moment, Lucius finally spoke. “You really don’t know what’s bothering him do you?” Izzy simply shook his head. Spriggs furrowed his brow. “Huh.” 

Before either of them could say anything, Ed interrupted when he strolled back into the clearing, arms full of different fruit. “Hey-o! We didn’t find any snakes but you need to check out all this fruit Y/N found!” You lingered behind, tossing one fruit in your hand boredly, as the rest of the crew fussed over the fruits. Ed all but dumped the fruits into Roach’s arms (who was already rambling about flavors) and looped an arm around your shoulder. 

(Izzy had no idea how you’d managed to befriend his captain so damn fast but Ed seemed more comfortable around you than even some of the Queen Anne’s crew.) 

And usually, you’d have no trouble with Ed’s closeness but, in keeping with how you’d been acting off all day, this time you froze. It was clear you tensed just from the way that your nails dug into the skin of the fruit you were holding. Ed, seemingly noticing your odd behavior, let go and whispered something, his beard making lipreading impossible. You shook your head in response. Ed still seemed concerned but was quickly distracted by Stede, even though he gave you a thumbs up over his shoulder as he left 

The rest of the day went the same way. Izzy didn’t get involved in any of the crew's shenanigans, deciding just to stand back and keep watch. Yet, his focus kept drifting back to you. You were quiet and didn’t really interact much or make many comments. Despite Lucius’ attempts to get you to relax you seemed determined not to. As the day turned to night, you drifted away from the group. Just lingering on the outskirts of the clearing that the crew had chosen as a base, nursing the same drink for what seemed to be hours and just staring.  

Perhaps it was the strangeness of how you were acting or maybe it was the light buzz Izzy was feeling or maybe both, but he found himself walking over to you. Again you didn’t notice him approaching. Which was still very strange. Even if you had been drunk (which you definitely weren’t considering he hadn’t seen you grab another drink and the one you still held in your hand was only half empty) you’d always notice someone approaching you. 

Izzy tapped you on the shoulder, making you jump. You didn’t say anything. Shit. Izzy immediately realized he should have planned what to say but he had approached you rather impulsively. Instead of anything that made sense like a ‘what’s wrong’ or a ‘want to talk it through (ugh)’ what came out of Izzy’s mouth was “The fuck is your problem?”

He realized that was probably a bad move when you glared at him. Your glare wavered. “Fuck off.” You grumbled. “I’m not in the mood for any of your bullshit right now. Go piss off someone else.”

A part of Izzy wanted to back off. But the almost dead look on your face and the ever-so-slight tremble in your left hand, caused him to stay.

 “No, shit. fuck. I’m not… I-” He paused for a long moment as he tried to gather his thoughts. Usually you probably would have let him and waited for him to figure out what he wanted to say. But you were pissed. So with a huff, you moved to walk away. 

And Izzy did another stupid thing. He reached out and grabbed your arm. 

You yanked your arm out of his grip so forcefully that you stumbled backwards and nearly fell, instead your back hit a tree and you all but sank down it, all but cowering behind your arms, drink long dropped. Your arms shook as you stared wide eyed at him but clearly not actually seeing him. The commotion attracted the attention of the rest of the crew.

A beat.

You blinked, seemingly realized what was actually going on, jumped to your feet and, before anyone could do anything, booked it into the woods.

Every breath felt like it caught in your throat. 

You couldn’t believe you’d made such a fool of yourself.  In front of the whole entire crew no less. In front of Izzy.

Despite how long it had been, you still knew the path. Your legs moved almost numbly as you ran but your course was clear. 

You stumbled out onto the ever so familiar cliff side. Shoulders still heaving from the run and your anxiety, you looked out over the entire town, the ocean glimmering under the moon. The small town hadn’t changed.

The rock that you’d always used as a chair was still the same too. You sighed as you sat down. You pulled your legs up against your chest and rested your chin on your knees. You tried very very hard not to cry but, before you could stop yourself, tears were streaming down your cheeks.

 You knew it would be best to go back to the crew. They were probably confused about you running off and you didn’t want them to think you were deserting the ship. But you needed a minute. Even if the crew had decided to follow you for some reason, not only were you probably the most sober but you still knew these woods like the back of your hand. So you had time. 

Then you heard a crack of a branch. You almost missed it over your own heartbeat pounding in your head but being here, at the spot you always used to hide at, made you senses overwhelming.

“Lucius I-” You started as you frantically wiped your face and sat up to take a look at who you assumed to be the well-meaning scribe. Just as you were wondering how he’d managed to keep up, you locked eyes with Izzy Hands. You sighed. “Go on then, laugh it up.” You mumbled.

“What?” The man’s voice was softer than you’d ever heard it.

 You gave the man your best glare (not too effective with your teary eyes and curled posture). “Really? No need to play dumb. Look! Y/N L/N being pathetic. Enjoy the show, asshole!”

Izzy looked woefully uncomfortable. He glanced briefly over his shoulder as if wondering if anyone would swoop in and save him from the awkwardness. No one did. It seemed that (being as good on his feet and less drunk than the crew) he’d been the only one who’d managed to keep up. “I…” He gave another glance. Still no luck. “I wasn’t going to mock you.”

You rolled your eyes. “Then why are you here? Hell, why have you been bothering me all day?” Izzy gave you a confused look. “You yelled at me on deck. You’ve been staring at me all day. You talked to me. And then when I wanted to leave you grabbed me. Then you chased me all the way up here!” You counted off on your fingers as you spoke. If it wasn’t mockery then what? The only other option you could think of was an ass-backwards attempt at murder but it was much too underhanded for Izzy usually.

“I…” Izzy fumbled for words. You resisted the urge to snark at him again. “I thought that you were acting strange.”

“So you decided to bother me all day?”

“I wanted to help.” His voice was so soft you barely heard it. In fact, you immediately assumed that you’d heard incorrectly. 

“What…?”

“I wanted to help.” It was barely louder this time. “You’re competent. A valuable member of the crew. You’ve been acting odd since the captains decided to make port here. I wanted to fix it. I wanted to help.”

A part of you wanted to laugh. He wanted to help so he yelled at you and asked ‘what the fuck was going on?’ it was utterly ridiculous… and absolutely the sort of thing Izz would do. It was an actual attempt to help. You sighed, scooted over and patted the rock. “Come on. Sit down.”

Izzy did, noticeably sitting far enough away that his legs didn’t touch yours. He folded his hands awkwardly in his lap.

You sighed and before you could talk yourself out of it, you spoke. “I grew up here. Seems like I still know these woods as well as I used to.” That got Izzy’s attention. You could see him looking at you from the peripherals of your vision. But instead you stared out at the ocean. Looking at it from here it wasn’t surprising that you’d decided to go out to see and never look back, it glittered like a sea of gems. “I lived right down in that town.” You pointed. “My family…”  Your voice wavered and you paused.  Izzy just stayed silent and let you talk. “ They weren’t very good to me. Let’s just say that not all my scars are from pirating… I used to come up here a lot.  Sometimes sitting out here, even in the cold or the heat, was better than going home. I’d sit here and stare at the ocean and think of sailing away some day. That’s why I left. Why I became a pirate. Would you believe me if I said I think the pirate ship was safer? Sure I could have died but I’m damn sure if I stayed here, I’d already be dead.” You sighed and leaned your head back looking at the stars above you. “And the day I got on my first ship, I promised myself I’d never come back here. I guess that’s what's been bothering me.”

“I see.” Izzy mumbled out. 

“Yeah… They’re all gone by now probably. Nothing interesting I’m afraid.” You teased lightly. 

“No, that’s not what I meant…” He seemed to fumble for words for a long moment. You glanced over at him to see him clearly deep in thought. He’d listened to you ramble, the least you could do was give him the same courtesy. “Most people don’t choose to be pirates unless they don’t have anything left for them on land. I know a bit of how you feel… If I stayed on land, I’d be dead too. I was a street kid. Joined the navy, not completely by choice, then switched sides the first chance I got.” You nodded along. That made sense. Izzy’s precise fighting style made sense. “I’m sorry that happened to you.” He met your eyes somewhat nervously.

“Not much anyone can do to change the past.” 

Izzy shrugged. “I’m sorry all the same.”

You scooted closer to Izzy, letting your leg brush against his. He jumped but didn’t snap at you or pull away. You wrapped an arm around his shoulder and leaned against him. He noticeably relaxed under your touch. “Thanks Izzy. I appreciate you coming out here.”

“Honestly I don't think I helped much.” Izzy muttered. 

You chuckled. “Eh, you did pretty okay for your first try. Talking it through is much harder than it seems, eh?” Izzy grumbled in response but didn’t do much more than that. 

You looked back at the town below. “You know… The whole place looks much smaller now…” And it did. The same town that had felt like your entire world the last time you’d been here was just a tiny town. You could even see the Revenge from here. Your actual home.

As comfortable as it was leaning against Izzy, you knew you had to double back to the crew. You sighed and stood, gently pulling Izzy up with you. “We should probably get back to the crew… Otherwise they might think you killed me or something.” Your tone wasn’t right but it was closer to the kind of jabs you’d normally give. Izzy chuckled.

 Even once you two had stood up, you didn’t let go of Izzy, your arm still around his shoulder. You’d barely made it halfway back to the clearing where the rest of the crew was when a figure jumped out at you. Your knife was in your hands fast but then you realized who it was:  Jim had their knife pointed at Izzy.

“Bastardito! What did you do to him?” 

Before any blood could be shed you chimed in. “Jim! I’m okay. I’m right here. Izzy was helping.” Jim released Izzy and gave you a suspicious look. “Okay I’m not fine but Izzy didn’t do anything to me. He has nothing to do with why I ran off.”

Jim seemed to accept that as they leaned back and yelled “I found them!”

The moment you passed the threshold of the clearing almost the entire crew surrounded you. You were so overwhelmed by the whole crew around you that you almost missed Izzy pulling the two captains aside. 

“Y/N! Are you okay?”

“You had us so worried!”

Lucius was quick to make sure the crew didn’t crowd you too much.

“Alright then everyone! Let’s head back to the ship!” Stede’s chipper voice interrupted everyone. You raised a brow.

“I thought we were sleeping out here tonight?” The Swede asked, confused.

“Yes, well. Change in plans! The ship would be much better than this place! I mean the weather is positively atrocious! Think of the ambiance my good man!” 

Before anyone could ask Stede what the hell he was talking about (it was a clear night? and what was an “ambiance”?) Ed spoke up. “Come on everyone! You heard the captain.”

You spent the rest of the walk to the ship listening to Stede ramble about how most certainly this was not a place you all should be, Ed chiming in that you should pick the next port stop, and the rest of the crew making a point of trying to get you to laugh (succeeding a few times). 

You didn’t get another chance to talk to Izzy until the rest of the crew was asleep. You found him sitting on the mizzen top leaning against the mast, holding a bottle of some kind of alcohol. Without even hesitating you climbed up so you could sit next to him. After a moment of silence, “What did you tell the captains to get them to leave so quickly?”

“The truth. I said that you were uncomfortable here and that we should leave. Simple as that.” He responded.

You smiled. “Thanks Izzy.”

“Of course…” He fumbled for a moment as if trying to find something to say, then he simply offered the bottle in his hand. 

Getting drunk at that port was not something you wanted, but now that you could see it fading in the Revenge’s wake, you accepted. You took a swig and were surprised to find it tasted like good fancy rum. You looked at the bottle and then at Izzy.

“From my stash I took off the Anne. Don’t you dare tell the others, I am not sharing with them.” Izzy explained. 

You chuckled and took another swig before handing the bottle back. “Cross my little black heart.” You promised teasingly. “Although, first you help me out and now you’re sharing your fancy rum with me… I might get the idea that you don’t hate me.”

“I don’t.” Izzy mumbled. 

“What?” 

“I don’t hate you.” His words were almost slurred a little and you realized that the bottle had been half empty. “You’re a good pirate. And funny. I missed your jokes…” He almost whined.

You gently took the bottle back then took a swig for confidence. “I don’t hate you either. You may be an asshole but I can appreciate that.”

Izzy laughed and leaned against you, resting his head on your shoulder. You smiled and adjusted so you could loop an arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer. 

Since you only had one bottle, you couldn’t exactly cheers but you could raise the bottle while you and Izzy were both holding it. “To the future!”

Izzy laughed, his breath tickling your collarbone. “To the future! Fuck the past!”

You couldn’t help but laugh along. “Yeah! Fuck the past!” You held up a middle finger at the lingering lights of a port you’d been trapped in. The two of you continued that way, joking and yelling, until the port faded completely from view. Then you felt Izzy go completely limp against your side. You glanced over seeing he’d fallen asleep. With a small smile, you pulled the bottle from his hand and set it aside before curling up yourself.

As much as you could say “Fuck the past” the burden it left was still there. But as you sat on the mizzen top and watched that damn place disappear over the horizon, on a ship full of people who’d been worried about you, who had changed their plans to accommodate you, with Izzy Fucking Hands of all people asleep at your side, that burden had never felt lighter.

A/N: I did my best to stay true to the request but I made a few small changes, hope that’s okay!  Writing a reader with he/him pronouns was a little tricky. I’m so used to they/them readers.