Out of the Blue

Art and interests of Jessie (outoftheazul/lifesnotasong)

[outoftheazul]

Hi all, Jessie here. Hope some of my Twitter friends find this :)  Here’s some of my art!

[soundwall]

have fun w/ this

[iamnotlanuk]

My old person trait is that I think a website should work in a web browser and not try to open an app

[mommy-mortis]

My old person trait is I think video games should work without needing access to the Internet

[thepariahcontinuum]

My old person trait is that I think when I purchase a product, that it should be complete and functional and also that I should actually own it.

[voidpumpkin]

A funny thing about the Greta Thunberg and Andrew Tate is the level of effort each put in. Greta probably spent less than a minute thinking up then writing that post whilst Andrew clearly spent hours on his video, getting his big cigars, putting on his silk robe and ordering a pizza all to prove how he, a 36 year old adult, was unfazed and totally not owned by a 19 year old. And it got him arrested.

This’ll go down in internet history, Greta ruined a sex trafficker life with a tweet.

[rozecrest]

hey don’t cry. spiro the bald eagle failing at catching a crab, okay?

[mrsmarlasinger]

[cannibalchicken]

make better choices

[tkingfisher]

So the really fabulous thing about this is that while there’s two basic theories about how the seals get an eel up their nose, there are also problems with both of them. The first is that the seal is shoving its head in holes in the rocks and the eel panics and goes for what looks like a hole—ie a seal nostril. And that would be a great theory, except that seals have what are described as “extremely muscular nostrils” because they gotta slam them closed when diving to keep water out.

Which, okay, fine, except that there’s often like two, three feet of eel INSIDE THE SEAL. The stuff hanging out is just the end of the tail. And eels are astonishingly powerful for their size, true, but so are seal nostrils. (Why am I typing these words? How did my life come to this?)

The other theory, of course, is that they barfed up an eel and it came out their nose instead, but we’re talking a fairly impressive feat that the eel lined up just right to come out the nostrils, and also those are BIG eels. It’d be kinda like a human puking a spear of asparagus out of their nose. (Why am I typing THESE words, too? Why?)

The remaining theory, which is actually the one ascribed to by the lead scientist on the endangered monk seal project, is that dumb teenage seals are snorting eels at each other for fun. And y’know…I just…sure. We live in a world where that wouldn’t even be the tenth strangest thing I’ve heard about mammals.

In conclusion, if any young monk seals are following me, Just Say No To Eel.

[grimsauce]

[tkingfisher]

EXACTLY LIKE THAT probably

[irondoe]

Ok but the real question is what happens to the eels? Are they alive up there squiggling around like, ‘wtf?’ Do the scientists remove them? Are eels beginning to avoid areas where teenage monk seals hang out?

[tkingfisher]

I regret to say that the eels do not come out of this as well as the seals do. But it did lead to one of the most understated and marvelous sentences ever spoken by a wildlife rehabber, namely:

“Though no seals have died or been seriously affected by the eels, having a dead animal up their noses for any extended amount of time poses potentially adverse health impacts, said Simeone, director of Ke Kai Ola, a monk seal hospital in Hawaii run by the Marine Mammal Center.”

[funnytwittertweets]

[ikeamalmdressers]

[theconcealedweapon]

[thelatestkate]

Shop , Patreon , Books and Cards , Mailing List

[inkskinned]

“if you take medication for that, you’ll be taking medication all your life!!” yeah, and?? bud, i already put on my glasses every morning. it’s like. a condition of mine, not a side hobby i’m pursuing irresponsibly. 

[laurenwalshart]

[kraaico]

European Starling!

[balaclava-trismegistus]

Killed a spider n now I feel bad :/

[balaclava-trismegistus]

Why did you say that

[quasi-normalcy]

Okay, so it takes 9 months to make a baby human; that’s about 3 kg.

A baby spider, by contrast, weighs about 1 mg; roughly 3 million times lighter.

So...you could give birth to a healthy baby spider in about...8 seconds? Like it’s not a big inconvenience.

[shittinggold]

tumblr user saturnine-powerbomb is on the other side of the cave, churning out spiders as fast as Georg can shovel them into his mouth

[communistvashoth]

dear fuckwads, I’m well aware that “the real world” isn’t gonna cater to my mental illness I’ve actually been living in it as a mentally ill person for quite some time

[spicymochi]

turtleneck giraffe

[jramseyi]

For some October isn’t a place but a state of mind.  Like this mouse witch and her raven

[outoftheazul]

Happy Monday everyone! Pretty art of mine to make the day a bit better hopefully ❤