Hakuna Matata Madfaka

I'm called Dane. Writer. Artist. Vlogger.

[kingjaffejoffer]

[prollyright-deactivated20260122]

napping together is my kind of date

[arduousangel-deactivated2018061]

@ male rape victims / male sexual abuse victims: I’m here for you. your feelings and experiences are valid regardless of the gender of your abuser. don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. it wasn’t your fault and you didn’t deserve it.

[purelintrash]

[despotique]

who needs april fools my entire life is a joke

[osointricate]

Tips for living alone

Buy a bat (I have my old color guard rifle) or similar. Keep it in your room/near your bed.

Get a lock for your bedroom door.

If you’re moving into a new place, change the locks. Who knows who had a key to your place before you.

Keep your phone/a phone in your room.

Get a weather alert system set up. App, weather call, little weather radio that tells you about major weather events.

Adopt a pet

Wave at your neighbors. Take note of the ones that make you uneasy. Watch out for kids always.

Be nice to your mail person. No matter what.

If you choose to drink/etc alone, unplug your wifi router. You’ll thank me.

Have extra seating. People sit when they visit. Your one comfy chair is great for you. Not so great for you + grandma + ur five cousins, your aunt, and a couple others.

Learn the self-Heimlich

When you take a shower, bring your phone to the bathroom in case you fall your phone is no longer halfway across the house, it’s just on your counter

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Idk what else

[thefisherqueen]

If you live in an one-room apartment, put a screen around your bed. It’ll feel less like you visit people, esp. strangers, into your bedroom. Also you’ll feel much safer sleeping in the enclosure. Cook enough for a few meals each time you cook, and freeze the extra food. That way you’ll prevent things from expiring and it’s great when you don’t feel like cooking or have no time or energy for it.

Give a key to someone near you trust, or hid it somewhere few people will look, like up in a tree. Shutting yourself out isn’t nice, esp. not at night. Put something translucent like curtains or stickers for windows where people can walk past or look in. You’ll feel less watched that way.

Put some contant money somewhere in your room. Good to have in case your bag gets lost or stolen. 

Feeling lonely? Remember, online contacts are not less valuable.

[art-is-blind-deactivated2019010]

I would say maybe set reminders for everything too. Taking meds/vitamins, working out, going to sleep, waking up.

[crewdlydrawn-deactivated2022072]

Buy a small fan for white noise at night if you’re the kind (like me) that gets anxious at all the little ambient noises that ANY building can supply in the dark. Don’t watch scary movies in the dark by yourself, with no visitors. NETFLIX, if you can afford it. It’s also useful because you can watch movies / shows with your online buddies at the same time, miles and states and (sometimes even) countries apart.

[tittily]

get an app like safetrek. never walk into allies or empty streets if there is a more populated/well-lit route to your destination. keep emergency contacts in your wallet and a red cross card with your blood type on it in case anything happens. carry a list of medications you’re allergic to, if any. 

walking around with a headset or headphones discourages people from yelling at you on the street, and it’s easier to escape from hasslers. however, it’s pretty advisable to not have anything actually playing so you can be aware of your surroundings. if anything, have it at low volume.

if you get grabbed on the street (this used to happen to me a lot), immediately scream, and the person will usually get startled, giving you time to get away. 

if you feel like you’re in a really bad place, call someone, or even pretend like you’re calling someone. say where you are. act like you’re planning on meeting up with them. be loud about it. make it seem like someone will notice if you go missing, even for a little bit.

also u should look up manufacturer’s coupons like damn i feel like a successful suburban mom every time i walk into cvs and save 2 dollars on my toothbrushes

[littleaimeebaby-deactivated2017]

PSA PSA EVERYBODY NEEDS

[bonerfart]

mum: “do your homework!”

me:

[s-t-y-l-e-t-s]

[aphrodildo]

[stonewallkickball]

WHEN A GUY ASKS ME WHAT I’M INTO

[mothmansbignaturals]

But it's not lesphobic. Yes it's confirmed that Pearl was attracted to Rose Quarts, and that's totally cool. I'm not against it at all. But regardless, there's the possibility of Pearl being bisexual/pansexual as well. Ruby and Sapphire are already canonly lesbian, so it's not at all erasure to headcanon Pearl as bisexual.

Hey are you a lesbian? If not then you do not, under any circumstances, get to say something isn’t lesbophobic or lesbian erasure. There is no evidence in canon of Pearl being attracted to men at all, if anything she shows clear discomfort around them. By all means, headcanon straight characters as bi/pan, but do not headcanon gay characters as bi/pan because that’s taking away representation from people who also need it. Also, anon, you are contributing to the shit in this fandom and are the reason why so many lesbians get shit on. I hope you’re proud.

[lumiberry]

As a Bisexual, I’m gonna say Anon is wrong here. Pearl is very very clearly a lesbian.  It’s not erasure of anything. Bisexuals don’t need to steal lesbian characters to have representation. Please don’t use my sexuality as a way to not only take away from lesbians and to fullfill the holes in your headcannons about shipping them with dudes. Its gross.

[overlyemotionalfanboy]

Oh my gosh u guys theyre rocks rocks that like rocks and humans

[ladydreamspeed]

#RealTalk

[justablueumbrella]

[gracefullyclumpy]

[knightinghoul-deactivated201812]

time flies so frickin fast. it’s almost xmas and i haven’t had the time to draw xmas stuff. sighh. here’s ari & dante snugglin. shhh i know they live in texas. but i couldn’t help myself. snow and big trees add to the cuddle vibe. 

[sizvideos]

These things women hear in a lifetime that men just don’t - Watch more in the full video

[spacelies]

Shitty AUs based off of things that have happened to me

we met when we were 4 and have been good friends ever since but our parents threw a new years party and it was late and we might’ve talked and shared a little too much

It’s bring your kid to work day and our parents have some weird job and they were giving us a tour of the workplace and showed us the ‘cooling room’ that basically helps keep all the computers cooled down and i got stuck in some kind of air vent and i dont know where my dad went, you’re the only one here. help

it’s 12am and this project was due over a month ago but if i turn it in tomorrow i wont fail the class. i’m sorry I procrastinate so much, please help me

i was supposed to meet up with you over an hour ago but ive been binge watching this show on netflix and i forgot im so sorry please dont be mad

you’ve been staring at me for long over 5 minutes and its getting weird now. I stared back at you but you still didn’t look away so now we’re both just staring at each other and not breaking eye contact

i was talking to this guy who usually annoys me and you yelled at him for talking to me because you know i usually tell him to go away but i was actually enjoying that conversation what the fuck dude

my parent has been yelling at me for the past hour, it’s midnight now and i needed fresh air so i went outside and you were sitting on my porch but who the fuck are you

I used to ship you and your opposite gender friend together until i realized you were both super gay so… hey what’s up, im pretty gay myself

im still trying to figure out my sexuality and all i know is that im definitely not straight when im around you

we sit together at the back of the class and i always put my feet up on the chair next to me and after you see me put my feet up you put your feet up but you look really awkward do you need help

i accidentally sent a shitty pick up line to the wrong number and you sent a shitty pick up line right back and it’s an hour later and we’ve just continued to share shitty pick up lines with a stranger

i saw you in a suit and i thought you looked really hot until i looked down and saw you were wearing crocs what the fuck

we’ve been best friends for a long time and we got into that really deep conversation mode and i asked how you figured out you were gay/what made you gay and you told me i did

youve been friends with my sibling for a while and my sibling along with all your friends ship you and me together which is just making things weird

you think im ignoring you but sometimes its just hard to look at you because youre so pretty

i went to a baseball game with my family but this is really boring so i got up and walked around the stadium before going outside and to the top floor and started spitting on peoples heads who were on the ground and you noticed me after i spit on the head of someone next to you and oh no time to run

i got lost in the forest and somehow i found this old cemetery and you were there crying and i tried to comfort you but you thought i was a ghost

im hanging out with out and all your siblings/cousins and you keep running through the firepit, please stop i dont want you to hurt yourself

i told you i liked your shoelaces and you told me you stole them from the president. lets share URLs

I crossed the street without looking and didnt get hit by a car but you still stopped me to scold me about traffic safety but i really need to get somewhere rn, here’s my phone number scold me more later

you thought i was stealing something from your workplace but really there’s just a bunch of things lying on the floor from someone else and i was just picking it up to put it away please stop getting mad at me

I was sitting at lunch from my friend and you sat across me from me and you keep looking up at me and hold on, are you drawing me?