Owls From Last Night

Texts from Last Night, Hogwarts edition. Ruining your childhood, one screencap at a time.

[adamtotscomix]

[sokkalore]

i can’t stop thinking about the fact that gilderoy lockhart was 28 years old in chamber of secrets

he was just an instagram influencer himbo………no WONDER

[sokkalore]

gilderoy lockhart is the wizarding caroline calloway

[chucktaylorupset]

Important question: Has the wizarding world discovered vaccines and is Hogwarts vaccinated?

[chucktaylorupset]

Circa Seventh Book

Hermione: Has the wizarding world discovered vaccines?

Ron: A wax what?

Hermione: hmmmm

Harry: Hermione, we cant take out the death eaters with a genetically magicked disease

Hermione: No I know that. Of course I know that.

*Uncomfortably long silence*

[2rsquared]

[achromic-red-dreams-doze-angrily]

Harry: What if we gave them all smallpox

Hermione: HARRY NO! We already eradicated it once, let's not make the world do it again

Harry: Oh yeah, I guess you're right

Hermione: Now tuberculosis, on the other hand...

[achromic-red-dreams-doze-angrily]

Hermione: If Voldemort likes the good ole' days so much, why don't we bring them back? Old society, old war tricks

Hermione, putting on a gas mask: New plan. We take them out with consumption and mustard gas

Hermione, to Voldemort: Did you know, historically, a majority of war deaths come from disease?

[theawkwardgayfanboy]

Harry Potter and the Violation of the Geneva Convention

[someplanetelse]

to be fair, nobody asked the wizards to sign it.

[discofriend]

Harry Potter AU in which Fred and George are in different houses and they steal and wear each others ties whilst doing stupid things in hope of the others house losing points

[thatwriterchickyouknow]

Finally a Fred and George AU that doesn’t make me want to set myself on fire.

[lytefoot]

AU where Fred and George are in different houses and they get their hands on house ties from the other two houses as well. By the end of their first year nobody knows which house either of them is in and just take points off a random house whenever they see a redhead getting up to something.

The confusion runs so deep by the time Ron starts that Snape once takes points off Slytherin for Ron fighting with Malfoy.

[chippish]

There’s a few months in Fred and George’s second year when they successfully convince most of the school that they’re actually quadruplets, one in each house.

[roseverdict]

“George! Why are you wearing a Slytherin tie?”

“What? No, I’m Edward. Y'know, Slytherin’s resident Weasley?”

“Wh…huh???”

“Next you’ll be telling me you don’t know Hubert!”

“?????”

[doctorgeekery]

After this confusing quadruple mess, a conspiracy theory emerges that Fred and George are actually just one person, and there were never any Weasley Twins. To add fuel to this theory, Fred and George make a point to never be seen together (publicly).

When asked about this theory, Fred/George subtly insinuates that he used Polyjuice Potion so that there could be multiple versions of himself at once. This goes around the Hogwarts Rumor Mill like fire. The Weasley family says nothing to dispute it, not even Percy.

[hippocrates460]

Percy makes polyjuice successfully for the first time in his fifth year, when he finally has sufficient motivation. Fred, George, Edward and Hubert walk into the great hall one morning, identical but for their school ties, and the chaos is so great that nobody realizes Percy and Ron are missing.

[drarry-queen]

YALL this is the funniest freaking thing

Look what was posted to the Sports Programming Network. People In the comment section are killing me

[caprette-is-no-longer-active]

i found an unposted shitcomic yesterday

insta

[owls-from-last-night]

A Thank You Giveaway

So, obviously this is not an active tumblr anymore, but it was fun while it lasted. So - I have this Harry Potter tapestry in my life that I acquired by means of a friend’s sibling moving in to an otherwise empty apartment where it was left still hanging on the wall. You know - as happens. I don’t have room for it anymore, but it needs a good home! If you’re in the Chicago or Milwaukee area and can be that home, it’s my thank you gift to you! Shoot me a message if you want it!

[princeofsparkles]

C'mon y'all - surely someone is still on tumblr, this nerdy, and in the same big cities as me!

[owls-from-last-night]

A Thank You Giveaway

So, obviously this is not an active tumblr anymore, but it was fun while it lasted. So - I have this Harry Potter tapestry in my life that I acquired by means of a friend’s sibling moving in to an otherwise empty apartment where it was left still hanging on the wall. You know - as happens. I don’t have room for it anymore, but it needs a good home! If you’re in the Chicago or Milwaukee area and can be that home, it’s my thank you gift to you! Shoot me a message if you want it!

[debbie-sketch]

Hogwarts Houses common rooms in Halloween season 

[niktropolis]

every time i remember that harry named one of his kids after snape but not hagrid i actually feel my soul leave this plane of existence for like 20 minutes

[wingedcorgi]

maybe it’s…. subtle.

[batcii-archive-deactivated20210]

my firstborn son had a birthday today

[hatepotion]

Happy birthday, pal

An updated version of this

[twosidestodarkness]

Would You Fuck A Clone Of Yourself?

[moranion]

tag yourself, I’m Sirius, Lucius, Albus, and Harry

[owls-from-last-night]

Aaand the actual picture part of the last post got removed in a glitch. Sorry about that guys.

[cat-cosplay]

It’s been a magical 20 years since we learned Owls deliver mail, and Motorcyles fly.

[fanonical]

arthur weasley looks in the mirror of erised

he sees himself. his reflection looks the same, but there is a knowing glint in his eye. he knows, arthur realises. he knows exactly the function of a rubber duck.