Unfortunately titled. @owls-in-the-background - Tumblr Blog

My favourite translator said that when she was an ambassador for Hungary she took all these Japanese politicians on a tour and she was trying to circumtranslate ‘merry go round’ cause she didn’t know the Japanese word for it by calling it a ‘horse tornado for children’ and they had no blessed idea what she was saying and she finally started running in circles going up and down and they go ‘ohhhhh, in Japan we call those ‘merry-go-rounds’”

inactiveaccount12345678

My roomba is scared of thunderstorms

I was sitting at my desk just a few minutes ago, drawing, and a really loud crack of thunder went off–no power surges or anything, just thunder–and my roomba fled from its dock and started spinning in circles

I currently now have an active roomba sitting quietly on my lap

systlin

Humans will pack bond with anything.

apostatively

I had a teenage girl come into my tea shop with her mother the other night. She purposely grabbed a teamaker in the most crunched-up looking box on the shelf (got banged around in shipment) and carried it protectively over to the counter. “If something’s in a damaged box I have to get it because I’m afraid no one else will love it,” she laughed nervously.

Not only will humans pack bond with anything, the empathy level of adolescent girls in particular likely has puppy-saving, world hunger-solving, war-ending powers.

a-dull-glow

I once saw a really bumpy lime at the grocery store, just a real ugly fruit. Later that night my boyfriend & I were driving home from rehearsal at like 11:30pm & passed the grocery store & I stared crying & he said “is it that lime? Do you want to go back and get it?” And I nodded and pulled the car around and bought the lime.

gentlemanjackthelass

Of Kittens and Dragons Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Hecate usually walked with such purpose to her lessons, never one to dawdle in corridors, people tended to move themselves out of her path. Today however, she lagged behind with tentative steps, hugging her books to her chest. As she made her way through the winding corridors of the old castle towards her potions class, she felt the eyes of her peers burning into her skin. News of the witch without a cat had spread quickly, beyond her year group and to the girls in the years above.

‘I heard that even the cats wouldn’t be friendly with her’, hissed Fenella Fenwick to a group of about 5 other witches who all sniggered at the sentiment.

‘Yeah, whoever heard of a witch without a cat… .’

‘… Maybe the familiars could sense that she’s not a real witch’.

‘Oh, and apparently she actually threw one of the poor defenceless kittens when it didn’t choose her’.

‘I heard Mistress Broomhead is going to expel her…’.

She was almost in tears by the time she reached her class, so was glad that there was no one there yet, true to form Hecate liked to arrive early to guarantee herself her seat at the front bench. She had been quite looking forward to this class as she knew she didn’t need a cat to brew a potion.

The class was simple enough, the girls were instructed to brew a levitation potion which Hecate had of course read about before, so she knew the ins-and-outs and brewed the perfect potion all by herself. She actually preferred to work alone, it had nothing to do with the fact that there had been an odd number of girls and she had been left without a cauldron partner, no, Hecate had grown up an only child and so was used to not discussing what she was chopping, or squashing or adding or mixing. In fact she found it to be way more efficient this way.

When the cauldrons had been cleared away and all the potions tested, their teacher, Miss Winterbottom congratulated Hecate on her exemplary brew. Then gestured to the new familiars, some of which, with the absence of any training, had begun to explore the laboratory.

‘I see you have all been assigned your familiars’ she said, causing Hecate’s eyes to fall to the floor..

She began explaining how in the future they could begin to use their familiars when collecting ingredients for potions. This stirred a memory in Hecate of her mother in the vast gardens back at the manor. She grew all kinds of rare and exotic herbs and plants, some in kitchen gardens and some in greenhouses, Hecate remembered how her mother’s cat, Seren, always knew which herb was which and exactly where to each one in the many rows, she would mewl in guiding her mistress’ hand to just the right head of verbena. She knew it was stupid but she had thought that having a cat of her own would have helped her feel a little closer to her mother who had loved her companion until.. Well… until she couldn’t anymore. Hecate quickly shook herself out of the memory as her classmates began to file past her out of the room, she picked up her books and satchel and followed on behind them, eyes still to the floor.

‘Miss Hardbroom’, her teacher’s voice startled her and she whirled round, ‘I heard about what happened yesterday with the familiars, are you okay?’

Hecate blinked in mild confusion, people seldom asked her about her feelings, ‘yes, fine Mistress Winterbottom’, she lied.

‘Yes, it is most uncommon for that to happen, but not unheard of, don’t worry… In fact’, Mistress Winterbottom continued, ‘I think I have a book somewhere’. The older witch busied herself at the bookshelf searching for the volume she required whilst Hecate waited attentively. Eventually she pulled a dusty old book, bound with leather from the rickety shelf. The Witch’s Familiar by Enid Everidge. ‘Here we are, have a look through this, you might find it interesting’, she said placing the book on top of the stack Hecate already held. ‘You know, familiars aren’t always assigned at school’, she looked up at her teacher, ‘No, sometimes they do just turn up, as if out of thin air, sometimes when one least expects it, sometimes when one needs it most’.

Hecate nodded in quiet understanding, ‘thank you I shall make sure, return this to you as soon as I’ve read it ’, and she turned to leave.

‘Hecate-‘, she flinched at the use of her first name and turned to look at her teacher once more, her eyes were kinder than Hecate had seen them before, almost knowing, ‘you know where I am if you have any questions’.

Hecate gave her a smile in thanks, nodded and made her way to her next class.

When the day of classes, stares and sniggers was over, Hecate closed the door to her little room and let out a deep sigh of relief, she was safe in her room, with its stone walls and big wooden door. She didn’t have many home comforts, just a knitted patchwork blanket, the rest of her possessions were mostly books. As she settled herself into bed, she let down her hair from its tight confines so that it fell into two loose pigtails which hung past her shoulders almost to her waist and pulled put the book Miss Winterbottom had given her earlier that day. She skimmed the contents page to find a section which she could apply to her situation before deciding that it would probably be best to read it from cover to cover. She read first about this history of familiars and was surprised to learn that not all spirit guides had to be physical entities, she made sure to note that down.

She also read more about what Mistress Winterbottom had said, familiars may reveal themselves at any given moment, they are not necessarily assigned or purchased by a young witch or wizard, rather seek out a master based on mutual need. Hecate furrowed her brow (something that her father had told her was unbecoming of a young woman and that she would be a wrinkled old hag by the time she reached her thirties) she had felt that she needed one of those kittens.

She flicked through page after page, admiring the medieval style drawings of the various animals until one in particular caught her eye. She had learned that the most common familiars to be kept by magical people were cats, rats, toads and owls, however this drawing, which was finished with gold leaf, showed a powerful witch with raven hair not unlike her own. In the picture she was casting a spell which seemed to allow her to control flames as she was manipulating fire to surround her and her familiar without them being burned. Her familiar was a dragon which stood beside her, her protector, wings outstretched ready to do battle for its mistress. Hecate ran her fingers over the beautiful illustration, as if trying to absorb it. She of course knew that dragons existed or had existed but had never heard nor read an account from someone who had seen one, at least not someone who had been alive in the past century. She sighed and turned the page with her assumption that dragons were most likely extinct.

She must have been reading for hours when Mistress Broomhead’s voice booming from in the corridor startled her, ‘lights out, girls’!

Hecate bookmarked her page, she was never one to bend pages, especially not in a book that was so ancient, in fact she detested the practice. She tucked the book under her pillow and blew out her candle, letting the darkness carry her off to sleep.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12894035/1/Of-kittens-and-Dragons

gentlemanjackthelass

Of Kittens and Dragons Chapter 1:

So i havent been able to stop thinking about Hecate and the dragon.. What if Hecate wasn’t paired with a cat in her first weeks of school,,,

Hecate had been waiting for this day for as long as she could remember, the day she would be paired with her familiar, a kindred spirit for life. She had fond memories from her infancy of hiding under the kitchen table waiting for her mother to finish cooking something she could almost remember the comforting smell of, and while she was waiting she would unwittingly terrorise her mother’s cat with too-tight cuddles, leaving her tiny toddler fists full of black fur as the cat skulked away. Alas, her mother had been gone a long time and with her Seren, her loyal companion, and Hecate’s fond memories.

As Hecate stood at the back of the gaggle of young witches waiting to greet their familiars. The idea of an unconditional friend, although in the form of a cat, seemed very attractive to her as she had found it really rather difficult in her first few weeks at school to interact with anyone of a more human disposition. Being one of the tallest in her year, she could see over the tops of some of their heads as girl after girl left the room, each time with a new kitten in her arms.

‘She just jumped into my arms!’, exclaimed one to her friends.

This was particularly interesting to Hecate, as it confirmed what she had read about familiars choosing the witch rather than the other way around.

As the day went on, the queue dwindled down until finally it was Hecate’s turn. She pushed open the heavy wooden door quietly so as not to startle the little things. It was as much as she could do not to let out a very uncharacteristic squeal as she saw the tiny kittens curled up in their baskets, nothing made her as excited as animals, she found she understood them better than people, way less complicated. What she did not understand, however was the complete lack of interest these particular animals were showing her. She hadn’t expected her familiar to reveal itself straight away but none of them had even turned a head in her direction.

She crept over to kneel next to some of the more active among the litters, they had been playing with some string. Hecate smiled and reached out a hand to join in the game yet was warded off with a tiny hiss. No matter how tiny and actually quite adorable the hiss had been Hecate understood the sign and left them to play. She must have been in there for a good half an hour when a disgruntled teacher poked her head around the door.

‘What’s going on in there?!’ she barked ‘Hurry up Hecate Hardbroom you should have been chosen before now!’, she swung the door fully open and filled the door frame with her enormous figure, looming over Hecate.

‘Yes, Mistress Broomhead, of course’, garbled Hecate as she panicked, what if she didn’t get chosen? What if none of the familiars wanted her? What if she wasn’t worthy of a cat. She quickly tried to shake off the feelings of self-doubt which rang in her ears and in her panic, pressured by Mistress Broomhead, she scooped up the kitten nearest to her, hoping for the best. It was not to be however, as the kitten in question objected strongly to being handled by Hecate and gave her her second hiss of the day accompanied by a swipe to the face. Hecate gasped and released her hold on the little kitten as claw connected to skin. She clapped her hand to her stinging cheek, when she pulled it away she saw that blood had been drawn and was now mixing with the saltiness of her tears.

‘It’s just a scratch girl! No need to turn on the waterworks!’, said Mistress Broomhead sternly, ‘out with you now, back to your room, it seems you shan’t be meeting your familiar today’.

She wasn’t crying because of the pain, or even the shock. But because of the resurgence of the feeling of rejection that she would usually associate with humans and the embarrassment and shame as she nodded in defeat to Mistress Boomhead and made the solitary journey past her remaining peers back to her room. Empty handed, empty hearted.

alchemine

Raquel talks about her Christmas lunch faves.

(I was so tempted to make a gif of her just saying ‘I like all the saucy-type bits’ out of context)

magicstarduckling2014

Hecate and Pippa text posts

ssueno-deactivated20180306

someone: hey are you okay me with no hesitation: *starts crying*

mycaptaintazer

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me, when I run up stairs but don’t get out of breath: omg skinny

just-shower-thoughts

If anything, other than cheese, smells like cheese, there is cause for concern

languages-are-my-second-home

french person: *speaks french*

me, crying: how do you do that with your mouth

languagestudyblr

from A1 to A2: omg I’m nearly fluent! I understand so much and I just love this language! learning languages is so amazing!

from B1 to B2: day 2746261. dear diary, today I tried to read a newspaper article in my target language and I found 12 irregular verbs, 3 incomprehensible grammar structures, and 7 words I couldn’t find in any dictionary. I will never be “fluent”. This language is too difficult. I hate learning languages.

cosmic-llin

Miss Softbroom wrecked me emotionally on a number of levels but something I thought was completely charming was the fact that one of the things Hecate goes and does for fun is just… make potions.

She just really friggin loves potions whatever her state of mind.

BLESS.

hiccuphardbroom-deactivated2019

Wands Are For Wizards

Anyone else think that the whole witches not allowed to have a wand or staffs is a bit phallic? Women are witches, men are wizards. Women can’t use wands as that makes them be like men taking in a male role and it’s seen as wrong by older traditional members of the craft. Basically I think it’s another hint about sexuality and that Hecate is a lesbian