I'm struggling with massive anxiety, which has been getting worse recently. I know I need to contact a doctor but something in me keeps just putting it off. I know there's no shame in getting help and starting medication or therapy but I can't help but feeling like I've failed or that I'm weak if I can't power through this alone. Do you have any advice on how to get past that feeling so I can find the strength to do what I know I need to do
Ugh. Anxiety suuuuuuuuuuuucks. I’m dealing with a lot of it right now, myself. I’m so sorry.
You have the strength to make the call and go to the appointment! I know that you have it, because you wouldn’t ask me about it if you didn’t.
So let’s proceed with the knowledge that you can make that call and go see a doctor, and let’s talk about how shitty it feels to know you gotta make the call, but something keeps stopping you.
It’s like, COME ON BRAIN I’M TRYING TO MAKE THIS BETTER FOR US and your brain is all “nah.”
Seriously, brain, you have one job.
You haven’t failed at anything, you aren’t weak, and you will not be doing this alone. You can take me with you. Print this out, or 3D print something cool (I want to be a low-poly dinosaur) and just sneak it into your pocket. When you feel anxious, remember that I believe in you and you deserve to be happy.
When I feel the way you’re feeling now, I remind myself – and this is a challenge because I’m literally telling the organ in my body that is responsible for how I feel and what I think that I know it’s making me feel a way that’s irrational and isn’t real but it sure feels real – I remind myself that Depression and Anxiety lie to us, and part of not letting them get away with their lies is going to the doctor, talking to the therapist, taking the meds, and doing the extra work that we who live with mental illness have to do so we can kick our brain in its nuts and get it back on track.
Here’ what I want you to do, and here’s how you’re gonna get through this and start your new life where you aren’t in the loud room that I have talked about: I want you to print a thing like I said, and take it with you to an appointment. I want you to send me a cellphone picture of it somewhere, like it’s Flat Stanley. You can even take it with you like it’s HIS appointment and you’re just being a good friend and taking him. And when you’re already there, maybe just talk to the doc for yourself for a little bit. You can email me that picture at wil at wilwheaton dot net, if you want, and it’ll be a cool and fun thing that we can share, while you are taking the first and scariest steps toward living the life you deserve.
You’ve got this. I totally believe in you. Check in with me when you’re ready and let me know how you’re doing.
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