Dungeon based hunger fiction

any pronouns

[echo-heo]

Party rock is¹ in the house tonight Everybody just have a good time (Yeah)²

────────────

¹Pretty sure it’s “party rockers.”³

²LMFAO’s “Party Rock Anthem,” Sorry for Party Rocking, 2011

³It’s “party rock is.”— Ed.

[the-muppet-joker]

I've gotten too horny. I need to become soft and holy again

[the-muppet-joker]

I understand Light Yagami on a level you Tumblrinas never could. My twisted mind... my dark heart... my Joker rage... the similarities are uncanny.

[queerdodo]

"Even the torrents, that seem so wondrous to us, will reach their end. In a sea a lake, a waterfall..."

What. Why. Why would you say that?!

[l-art-stuff-l]

i am committed to TWO THINGS

FAGGING IT UP

THE BIT

💯🔥🔥🔥🔥💪💪💪💯💯🔥💯💯🔥💯💪💯💯💯💪💪💪💪🔥💪💪💪💯💯💯🔥🔥💯💪💯🔥💪💪💪💯🔥💪💯🔥💪🔥🔥🔥💯💯

[coastal-mangos-one]

you know he would have been one of Those kids

inspired by this pic:

[queer-as-city-folk]

Neil Banged out his tunes today, on a train you have the comfort and relaxation to bang out your own tunes

[queer-as-city-folk]

No

[omtai]

love the word “rapscallion”. like not only are you a rascal but you’re also kind of spring onion about it too

[probablybadrpgideas]

Paladin Oath of Putting Things On Top Of Other Things.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Rate different bats.

…i will do it for 4 dollars

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

alright so, bats!

(rated by their efficacy and how satisfying they would be to fend off a home invasion)

wooden bat. solid, heavy duty, could easily be used to rattle the bones of a nighttime intruder. perfectly serviceable weapon, if a bit heavy handed. a bit lacking in pizzazz though. where’s the style? where’s the razzle dazzle? still, i could give a house burglar a concussion with this, and ultimately that is what matters. 6/10

shiny aluminum baseball bat. now we’re talking. does everything the first bat does, but makes a pleasant ringing thud when it finally comes into contact with a home intruder’s skull. that’s what sells it right there. grievous bodily harm, and grievous injury to ego. now with sound effects straight out of a roadrunner cartoon. baby go night night with a riiiiing. i hit you with this, your head starts ringing like a churchbell. 8.5/10

i changed my mind: now we’re talking. has all the bells and whistles of the aforementioned models, with the added advantage that after you kick the sucker’s ass, you get to stand over them and add insult to injury. behold evildoer, you just got your ass handed to you by the cute and unforgiving face of Hello Kitty. 10/10

lacks the razzmatazz of hello kitty, but still a perfectly usable weapon. a true classic. add some stickers & neon duct tape and we’re good to go. just be careful not to stub your toe when cleaning your room. 10/10

yes, that is a katana doubling as a baseball. yes, this is overkill. no, i’m not complaining. truly glorious. you can kick someone’s ass with a bat, and if the sucker still won’t go down? then we move on to ROUND TWO. imagine you take a few swings at an intruder, they’re looking around for a makeshift weapon, a broom handle or something, but then they look back and you’re unsheathing a second, sharper weapon. from within the same weapon. how fucked up would that be???? 11/10 probably not useful for baseball but why would you want to waste a baseball bat doing sports

[moon-meerkat]

what about them???

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

always use explicit language when you bargain with the devil, fool! four dollars

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

alright, BATS!

first things first, the Little Brown Bat. It is so little. It is indeed brown. It’s so tiny!!! I’ll be honest, just the name gets it a 10/10

Next order of business: the Big Brown Bat! It is indeed brown! It is not actually very big, but that’s okay!!! 10/10 excellent bat!

next up, Ghost Bat. look at this shit! look how happy that fucker is! 10/10 that’s a happy bat!!!!!

Introducing: Hammer Head Bat. this bat is less happy. this is not a pleased bat. i would go so far as to say this is a bat in distress. It is, however, still an excellent bat, utterly flawless, free from sin. blessed bat. please unhand them. 10/10

may i present: Epauletted Fruit Bat. This shit is wild. needs 2 photos bc on closer inspection that is a labrador retriever in bat form

look at this. there are over 1,400 species of bats and each one is stranger than the next. look at its nose. that’s a dog. 10/10

Honduran White Bat. oh my STARS AND CRACKERS. i would die for them. i would let you die for them. i would let you and your extended family and your second cousins all die for them. look at em. they’re so lovely. 10/10

check it out! Pied Bats, also called Badger Bats! this is the perfect bats! all bats are equally perfect but especially this bat! give this bat a mountain of tiny, bat-sized pies! give this bat a treasure horde of tiny fresh-baked pies to hoard over like a dragon! all the pies!!!!! 10/10 flawless. this bat also deserves a tiny top hat, i think.

Little White-Shouldered Bat. i love how many bats have ‘little’ in the name. like it was important to the scientists to emphasize that this is not just a bat, it is a little bat. Little bat in a big world. protect the tiny sky rodent. anyway, this one gets a 10/10, self-explanatory 

Ghost Faced Bat. Upon careful examination, that is indeed a bat. 10/10 i won’t hear a word against my wrinkly friend.

In conclusion: BATS BATS BATS BATS!!!!!!!! 🦇 🦇 🦇

u can request more bat/non-bat ratings (or just support me) here. i warn you, i will not compromise my integrity by rating any bat or batlike creature less than 10/10

[watchingyoufromthestars]

On one end of the spectrum is Anthony choking up over having to send Rogue away. On the other end is Anthony choking up about Dood saying goodbye.

[serial-unaliver-deactivated2024]

💀💀💀💀💀

[cocktronic]

[p4l4d1nsblog]

The moment Anthony Burch has that shake in his voice it actually destroys me everytime simply unable to deal

[macksartblock]

gonna miss these guys :,)

[erros429]

have some dungeon meshi textposts!!! i’ll probably make some more when the new episode drops but for now . enjoy :)

pt1 | pt2 | pt3 | pt4 | pt5 | 

manga spoiler textpost below

[rpfofficial]

everyone hate my loquacious swag. its always "why did you make this sentence so long" and "why do you use so many commas and em dashes" and never "how did you come up with run on sentence" or "writing that run on sentence looked fun"

[holythefirm]

It’s normal to be in love with your friend for like a week when you’re bored and then you have a really good week where you get restaurant food like two days in a row and you’re like Nevermind