The Carpenter Files

big sister, punk goddess, and faerie princess of Neverneverland. Icon and header graphic by Mika Kuloda.

[mostlycatsmostly]

Purrmaid (via Jackie Noble)

[ordooracle]

Oh @padawanmolly… following suit with your purrkour comment, I humbly present the purrmaid.

[padawanmolly]

On the contrary, that is clearly a catfish.

[theaustinstollhaus]

So if “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” is be believed, you can fiddle duel the devil for your soul. My question is, does it only work with fiddles, or any contest? Saxophone duel? Guitar shred-off? Can you challenge the devil to a rap battle when he comes for you?

[atoyont]

Even though I play piano I want to see someone fight for their soul with the tuba.

[theaustinstollhaus]

The Devil went back to Georgia and his thoughts were dark and cold That Johnny kid had screwed him and he still needed a soul. When he came across this young man blowin’ on a tuba and playin’ hits And the devil took one look and said “You know what? Fuck this shit.”

[hamstergal]

“Kid, I know you won’t believe this, but I play the tuba too “And if you wanna wager, well I’ve got a deal for you “If I’m the better tubist, then I get to take your soul “If you’re the best, you get this horn here, made from solid gold.”

The boy replied, “My name is Hans, and though it may be wrong, “Your bet’s pretty intriguing, so I guess I’ll play along”

Hans, clean out your spit valves, and get ready for a show, Two tubas feudin’ face to face; pick up your horn and blow. ‘Cause if you win, you get a brand new tuba made of gold, And if you lose the Devil gets your soul!

(Oompah music intensifies)

The Devil opened up his case and said, “I’ll start, I guess.” And fire puffed out from the bell as on the valves he pressed He raised the mouthpiece to his lips, it made a wicked BLART And a band of lederhosen demons joined in with him to start

(Roll Out the Barrel plays with extended tuba solo)

Hans looked the Devil in the eye, once he finished his piece, Said “That’s okay, old man, but just you get a load of this!”

(http://youtu.be/zmFYgc-Emmc and skip to 2:20)

The Devil bowed his head, because he knew he can’t compete. He dragged that heavy tuba down; it crashed by Hans’s feet. He turned away from Hans and as he retreated he said, “Forget this crap. I’m gonna try telemarketing instead.”

(Tuba outro)

[bakafox]

@hamstergal you are amazing and owe me 1 clean monitor.

[lapestelareste]

:(((

Fiddles are historically associated with the devil not through any Christian imagery, but because older European folk tradition held that several uber powerful water demons, known as nock, nikyr, necks, etc, were insanely good fiddle players.

In Norway, for example, the violin known as the Hardanger fiddle was played initially by the creepy otherwordly beings, like the hulderfolk, the trolls, as well as the nock. There are equivalents in other European cultures.

These beings were known as preternaturally skilled fiddle players, the nocks above all others. So some people would make a deal to learn the fiddle from the nock, or have their children trained. The only problem being nocks usually needed life or blood sacrifices to learn their skills.

So as Christianity was introduced, the water demon nock was conflated with the devil. Because other stories of nykyrs, nocks, etc were generally sacrificing a human to appease treacherous tides, which was the pinnacle of terror.

The devil knows the fiddle, because the ancient tradition is that if you can win your freedom from the nocks, they will honor this pact. 

[smeliot-deactivated20220528]

this post is the perfect mix of creativity, historical facts, and folklore/mythology, and above all shitposting.

[ladynorbert]

This right here is the kind of content I want on my dash.

[phatfred]

(Oompah music intensifies) (OOMPAH MUSIC INTENSIFIES)

[samuraiko]

Paging @padawanmolly and @harriedwizard - the next time you see Butters, you two REALLY need to show him this. I am now happily imagining Butters just rocking out on that Oktoberfest contraption of his to this song.

[padawanmolly]

I would pay high six figures to see Butters dueling Nicodemus via One Man Polka Band.

[padawanmolly]

No particular question, just glad to see that you're back. :)

Glad to be back!  Assuming I’m still me enough to qualify. :)

[padawanmolly]

Favorite winter snack? /Amanda Comet

Ice Krispies Treats.

[padawanmolly]

With the way you feel other people's emotions, is it hard for you to be around Harry and Murphy? With the way you feel about him and the respect you have for her, I can't imagine it's fun to feel the way they feel about each other

So, how ‘bout them Cubs?

[padawanmolly]

Do you know where I could find the list of things Dresden isn't allowed to do any more?

One of the most powerful entities in the universe, reporting for googling duty. :D Here you go! http://harriedwizard.tumblr.com/post/116491018759/things-i-harry-dresden-am-no-longer-allowed-to-do

[halseyasfcuk]

Halsey + hair

↳ Badlands Hair

[priscellie]

Someone please draw @padawanmolly with hair like this.

[padawanmolly]

This.

[padawanmolly]

Do you hang out with Kringle often? Is his workshop and stuff in the Nevernever, and if so, does his Way open at the North Pole?

Occasionally. We both keep pretty busy, but we’ve spoken briefly at a couple events. Still haven’t mustered up the nerve to ask why he never delivered on the pet tarantula I begged for.

[padawanmolly]

When Winter and Summer swap places, does Winter just go to a second stone table in the southern Hemisphere? Just wondering, since neither Winter nor Summer really go away, they just swap positions of equal power.

The power isn’t equal, actually. Our strength is tied to mortal population, and there are nine times more people living in the northern hemisphere than the southern.  That 10% is why I don’t spend half the year comatose.

[padawanmolly]

Why hasn't there been more snow? Why is the winter so warm?

Look, Goldilocks, I don’t tell you how to do your job. Do you know how complex weather patterns are? “A single butterfly” is right.

[padawanmolly]

Have you ever met a half-dragon Scion? I hear they serve the oldest and wisest of their kind.

No one believes you’re old or wise, Atterothax. Stop looking for minions on Craigslist. It’s embarrassing.

[padawanmolly]

Now I wonder what would happen if Johnny Storm started catcalling you

I’d see his Flame-On extinguished.

[padawanmolly]

Guys: Think twice before you catcall a random girl on the street.  There is not enough antifreeze in the WORLD to protect you.

[padawanmolly]

Do you think Bob is going to try and get it on with Lash and Harry's little spirit child? You know he is going to try.

Can we maybe not sexualize the spiritual equivalent of a toddler?

[padawanmolly]

Do you have any Fae in your court that are scarier than Pat Rothfuss' Cthaeh?

Mother Winter giving herself a pedicure.

[padawanmolly]

Molly, a question for you, that Will and Butters could help with as well; Have you thought of setting up an online dating profile for Harry between the three of you, and then watching with a gleeful, yet innocent expression?

Name: @harriedwizard

Work: Private Investigator, Prison Warden, and Demolitions Expert.

Relationship Status: Royal Consort

Education: GED

Kids: Two girls--a human and a spirit of intellect.

Pets: I hope you like dogs.

Interests: Quoting Star Wars Incessantly, Reading, Wood Carving, Dinosaurs.

[padawanmolly]

Is Harry The once and Future Burger King? and If so does that make you the Dame of Chicken Fries?

I am Lord of the Onion Rings.