Slings and Arrows of Geek

Mostly jokes, fandom, and whatever I want to reblog. Also cats, roller derby, and literature jokes.

[sharksylph-deactivated20180816]

make a dragon wanna retire man

[porcelained-deactivated20211210]

I’m so mad

[my-insanity-is-an-artform]

I’M NOT. THAT IS BRILLIANT

[wewillfarrokhyou]

Me:

[corellianne]

It’s true, and it’s fantastic:

[stilesisbiles]

I love that this time, it’s done knowing Freddie was very much not straight. Which many het “fans” of Queen have angrily denied for years, despite it being as clear as day.

[nomnombutteredtoast]

*as queer as day

[thepigeongazette]

and it will now ache during storms from today until infinity

[foxflightstudios]

Preview 👀

[sorrynotsorrybi]

!!!🚨📢🚨!!!

[doafhat]

[writing-prompt-s]

At long last, The Chosen One has been discovered. Working as a cashier. With no interest in doing anything even slightly more difficult.

[crazymuff1n-deactivated20230428]

yeah because there is nothing more difficult than retail

[piningeddie]

tbh anyone who works/has worked retail would see the chance to go around saving the world in ways that could potentially kill them as a welcome vacation

[copperbadge]

“Does the position of Chosen One offer health benefits of any kind?” 

“Well, our ragtag gang of world-saving underdogs has a doctor on-team.”

“Do I have to pay her out of pocket, is what I’m asking.”

“Gosh no! She’s an idealist, you don’t pay her at all!”

“Oh! That’s nice. But then I guess there’s no paycheck.”

“I mean, the secret cabal that dispenses our orders does make sure we have enough money to feed ourselves and keep a roof over our secret lair and such.”

“Hourly?”

“Hourly what?”

“Like have you guys ever had to punch a time clock?”

“We once had to dismantle a sinister time-freezing device in the shape of a clock….otherwise no.”

“Sold. Off we go.” 

[jumpingjacktrash]

“do i have to be nice to people who are yelling at me?”

“we’re the good guys, you can’t kill random civilians just because they’re mean!”

“kill?? no, i mean, can i tell them off.”

“well, sure, of course.”

*rips name tag off shirt and tosses it over shoulder* “i’m your huckleberry.”

[pathfuckery]

This resonates on a spiritual level

[iamnotswarley]

I mean how can you not love Mads Mikkelsen. He

met his wife while playing a drag queen

spent the whole “Clash of the Titans” clusterfuck trolling Sam Worthington

gives zero fucks about society’s expectation of what famous actors should behave like

can wear the shit out of a suit, but prefers sportswear

knows he is made of cheekbones. accepts it. uses it to his advantage

went into dancing to score with dancers, stayed with it, went into acting after; two zero-guarantee careers right here and he made them work

is always, always nice to fans. 

ships hannigram harder than Bryan Fuller.

is so fucking talented. seriously. SO fucking talented. he’s a fucking national treasure in Denmark.

threw serious shade at Lars Von Trier, and it was amazing.

[iamnotswarley]

also, he

has never seen a Star Wars movie and didn’t even realize how big being in one would be.

also probably had no idea how big a Marvel movie would be.

still went with doing both because he got really well paid got to do air kung-fu and shit.

joined one of the most highly anticipated video games ever without understanding anything about the plot and/or video games. 

went salsa dancing with his Hannibal co-stars, director, and showrunner, despite saying he doesn’t dance in public anymore.

did a Con and got drunk with a bunch of furries.

also got onstage with a screamo band (during the same Con?) and shot toilet paper at the pit.

wears every flower crown he’s ever been given. it’s like a thing. sometimes wears two at the same time.

once wore a pink “rosé over bitches” sweatshirt while completely smashed and it was great.

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

proudly played the ‘Bitch’ in Rihanna’s Bitch Better Have My Money video and didn’t get why it was such a big deal.

avoided major injury in a crash where he was sent flying from his motorcycle but managed to flip in midair and land perfectly on his feet.

[skodasforge]

Mads Mikkelsen is a centuries old immortal that doesn’t quite grasp the modern concept of celebrity, in this essay I will

[xxred-five-standing-byxx-deacti]

“Hey, look. I got the hammer. And it only took me, like, what? 10 seconds. 11 tops.”

[red-faced-wolf-deactivated20251]

The best

[ironbloodaika]

Glad he hasn’t been forgotten.

[official-katori]

[vivairi-deactivated20190813]

Reblog every time

[ukyos]

” Sophie , you’re beautiful! “

[allthecolorsofdisney]

#no but like #you don’t understand how important and meaningful sophie’s arc in this movie is #she starts out hating herself because she believes herself to be ugly and dumb#then she’s turned into an old hag and promptly loses most of her insecurities because she no longer has to care about being beautiful #then we find out the curse weakens whenever she is being strong and it shows her real self underneath #which means the curse is mostly self-inflicted and not done by the witch of the waste #sophie curses herself because it is easier for her #but because she starts to see that she is important to people and others love her #she grows out of it and finally is able to stand up for others #and break her own curse #and get some fucking shit done #sophie is my hero and my gpoy always

[mayasaura]

In the book, Sophie possess a certain kind of magical power - she makes things real by saying them. She can lay spells just by saying them. When she made hats, and she told a hat that it would make a rich young man fall in love with it, a rich young man fell in love with the woman who bought it. When she told a hat it would make some woman look beautiful, everyone knew the mayor’s wife looked positively radiant in it. It’s what drew the Witch to her hat shop in the first place.  When she cursed out a bucket of plant food, it turned to potent weed killer. When she told herself she might as well be an old woman, when she told herself she was doomed to fail, when she told herself she was plain and boring and no one would ever notice her, no one did.

When Howl tried to break the spell on Sophie, and he tried many times, he always failed. Not because his magic was less powerful than the Witch’s, but because it was less powerful than Sophie’s.

[mahaliciously]

My heart is aching

[roseys-deactivated20181203]

learning how to speak your mind is so terrifying but its 100 million times better than stewing in silence and hoping someone picks up on your vibes

[wigglyflippingout]

is this what growing up is like

me at 14: wow, protagonists in media my age! how relateable!

me at 28: WHY ARE THERE SO MANY CHILD SOLDIERS? WHERE ARE ALL THE ADULTS? WHO LET THIS HAPPEN AND WHY ARE THEY NOT BEING PROSECUTED BY LAW WITHIN THESE FICTIONAL UNIVERSES

[grand-duc]

In the same vein:

Me at 14: oh protagonists that are 17-20-ish, they’re basically adults, right?

Me at 28: Oh my Gods you’re babies who left you in charge?!

[rcmclachlan]

Ariel: Daddy, I love him! Me at 14: Yeah, girl, you tell him! Me at 30:

[imagitory]

Marnie in Halloweentown: I’m thirteen, okay? I’m practically grown up! I’m certainly old enough to make my own choices – right?

Me at 7: Right!

Me at 13: Right! …Well, okay, maybe not practically grown up, but still, right!

Me at 28:

[chiaroscar]

You either die young or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

[drearyhours]

my favorite trope is the thing star trek does where when a character lists something and they’ll list real things/people but add 1 thats fictional, like “great writers such as shakespeare, robert frost, edgar allan poe and zaxar the giant rat man“

[congalineofdurin]

Hi the way people raise boy and girl children differently is DISGUSTING, I just learned that my mtf friend has never been bought a stuffed animal ONCE in her entire life???? this princess has NEVER had a teddy bear in her bed???

Long story short it is 9pm and I am furiously driving to fucking Target bc the first store didnt have any that were good enough I am

SO MAD RN

[congalineofdurin]

she’s letting me take her to build a bear and I am so excited

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

what a damn excellent post

[normal-horoscopes]

RAGE ONLY MAKES LOVE HARDER TO STOP

[trip-and-stumble]

Back at it with the John Mulaney memes ✨✨✨

[ultra-despair-deactivated202106]

I dressed up yesterday like this

but I kept getting comments on how I looked exactly like Nicki Minaj in this picture all night

I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HE-MAN!!

Everyone disregarded that and called me Nicki for the entire night.

I tried.

[beynotce]

[wexler]

that one time on Hotel Hell when Gordon Ramsay fed the owner’s dog some shitty bread and then was afraid he killed her

[unclefather]

He checked her pulse

[just-shower-thoughts]

You become an adult once your bed goes from the corner of your room to the middle