Back & Bitchier Than Ever

A place for me to vent my hot takes about witchcraft, astrology and the like. Agree, or don’t. I don’t care 🤷🏻‍♀️🧿🪬

[formerlypagingdoctorbitchcraft]

Welcome to Hell

I don’t expect anyone to find or read this lmao. But if you do, welcome to my thought palace I guess.

-I don’t care if you agree with me or not lmao. This is what I feel/think, this is my place to express that.

- I’m a practicing eclectic witch. I love witchcraft, but some things about the community make me crazy, so here we have this blog. Lmao

Some disclaimers for my blog:

-DNI: terfs, general bigots, racists, neo-nazis/white supremacists and anyone who is adjacent or sympathetic of these scum. Nobody wants your stank ass energy on this app, especially not me on my blog.

- unless otherwise stated, I’m not actually mad. I just have a dry sense of humour and a lot of feelings, lmao. Read my blog in Daria’s voice.

- just because you don’t agree with me doesn’t mean I’m wrong lmao. And also doesn’t mean you get to be rude.

- don’t take things so personally. if you feel attacked by a post, maybe do some shadow work a figure out why. Perhaps part of you knows what you’re doing is wrong? Hmmmm? I’m not out here to personally attack other random bloggers, it’s not that deep.

Not everything is about you, Brenda.

- don’t fuck around and you won’t find out

- I’m allowed to change my mind. I have many strong opinions but sometimes, with different experience/shadow work/time they change and evolve. All I can do is be honest and true to who I am in the present.

- if you don’t like strong opinions, don’t read lmao

- I’ll elaborate when I see fit

- there’s probs gonna be some general life rants in here too, not just witch related rants

[pagingdoctorbitchcraft]

-do not try to explain to me that I’m wrong. If you don’t agree; see above! I do not care! And I certainly don’t wanna hear about it! Shocking news!!

-THIS IS NOT A DEBATE BLOG. none of these topics are up for debate. I will simply be posting my rants/opinions and that’s it.

-I’m not in this for notes or validation. I just need a vehicle to share my hot takes lmao

[pagingdoctorbitchcraft]

Modern Planetary Rulership Erasure Rant.

Astrologers who refuse to acknowledge modern planetary rulers are basically our community’s version of boomers.

To ignore change is to ignore progress or something deep idk.

Sure, take into account which planet ruled what before we could properly explore space, valid. It’s fine if your astrological practice is one way, but it’s another to tell people that modern rulership is bs or “fake” in some way.

Just flat out refusing to agree with people who say, for example, “oh neptune is doing this thing, watch out pisces folks” is so lame lmao. Like I’ve seen people selling chart readings that actively refuse to include these planets. You don’t even have to agree tbh, just scroll away!!! It’s free!!! 💀

Y’all are the ones excluding a whole huge chunk of information and context from your chart readings. And I don’t mean to act like y’all and talk down on how you do things (though it seems you’re overdue for a taste of your own medicine), but it’s kinda just the truth. So much depth is added to a reading by acknowledging the newer parts of our solar system. Not to mention, popular opinion seems to be that the modern planets make more sense ruling the signs that they do. Might be simpler if y’all just say y’all wanna be different/contrarians, no? Lmao.

Even weirder is the people who do this, who have some kind of superiority complex about it 💀 like yes, congrats, you’re several decades behind the rest of us. You’re soooo much better at astrology than the rest of us??? Because that makes sense???

Reddit is particularly full of these obnoxious astro-boomers. People will ask a question ab what neptune is affecting in their chart and the astro-boomers descend and start spouting shit like “I don’t consider neptune in my readings blah blah blah”. If you don’t know, don’t comment 💀

Things are forever evolving and changing, no matter the area of life. Either get on our level, or don’t. But don’t be a dick about it. When you’re a dick about it, then I have to be a dick about it and no one wants that 💀

& That’s on trickle-down dickonomics. Lmao.

Don’t even get me started on the major asteroids.

[greenwitchcrafts]

/r Witchcraft is officially on my shit list.

It started out with me making a comment on my own montly guide about how I couldn't post the word "cultural". They have gone so far as to automatically censor the word because they don't like having conversations about closed practices & cultural appropriation. They absolutely refuse to acknowledge that some practices aren't meant for everyone & like to cry about gatekeeping.

Then telling me because I explained my reasoning I had an "outburst" by one of the mods. At no point was I even a little heated.

They locked my thread after trying to use white supremacy, nazis as a reason they need to censor words (THIS HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY OF THAT) & refused to even hear me out. It's their way or no way

When you censor a word like culture, it effects the way we have discussions about Witchcraft. Witchcraft has culture, all parts of it. To have such a big learning platform & use to to specifically ignore parts of witchcraft because they make you mad or uncomfortable is a laugh

Fuck reddit

[pagingdoctorbitchcraft]

Don’t even get me started on the hellsite that is Reddit

[deactivated-blog]

Just a quick reminder for those who don’t already know. Mari Silva (the “author” whose prolific collection of magic books you’ll find on Amazon) is not a person, author, or occultist. Rather, they do not exist at all.

The books are either content-farmed, or, at this point, likely LLM-generated. If that is your source for magical information, you’re likely to find disappointment. No actual occult author is publishing a book every four days.

[travelingthief]

You don’t have to have fancy crystals and herbs for spell jars btw. You can use sugar, coffee grounds, leaves, acorns, etc. Don’t fall victim to witchcraft consumerism.

[servantofthefates]

10 Reasons Why I Love Being a Witch

1) Witchcraft loves me back.

With witchcraft, you get what you give. If you respect a spell’s instructions and perform it with faith, it will work. If you treat your tarot deck with regard, it will give you honest answers. Witchcraft yields results here and now, instead of promising eternal happiness after death.

2) It embraces who I am.

Witchcraft will never censor your truth by asking you to suppress your emotions. Pride, anger, greed, lust, envy… These are what make you human. And they are fuel for rituals. The craft teaches you how to harness and direct them, so you can live up to your potential.

3) It does not care about money.

Whether you use a $30 or a $3 candle will not affect the outcome of your spell. And the number of tarot decks, crystal balls and pendulums you own does not reflect how good a diviner you are. With witchcraft, faith and power are the only currencies that matter.

4) It allows me to avenge myself.

Turning the other cheek may sound nice. But it and self-love cannot co-exist. And in witchcraft, you have to love yourself before the occult allows you command it. The craft lets me practice self-love by giving back malice to anyone who sends it to me.

5) It allows me to help myself.

When your natural gifts are not enough to survive a challenge or accomplish a task, witchcraft lets you call upon the old gods and their minions for assistance. Spells that protect and disarm, heal and harm, grant and transcend are all at your fingertips.

6) It allows me to help others.

Witchcraft requires you to give back. But not through tithes or other taxes like that. Whenever you come across another soul who you think deserves your assistance, you can cast spells for them or perform divination on their behalf.

7) It lets me master myself.

Most people only know their conscious self. As a witch, you will be introduced to your other selves: your higher self and your shadow self. When the three of you have a strong understanding of one another, there is no obstacle you cannot conquer.

8) It lets me glimpse what is hidden.

Through divination, witchcraft allows you to witness things that have not yet come to pass. It also gives you access to the concealed present and the hidden past. This means you can look into people’s souls and see all their hidden motivations.

9) It dissolves my fears.

As a witch, you know that you are always where you are meant to be. Any unexpected, painful or tragic detours are only meant to reroute you to your true purpose. Witchcraft leads you to your true path. It is impossible to get lost.

10) I am the Pope of my religion.

Even though my family taught me the craft, I was given the chance to put that knowledge to the test. Nobody forced me to believe in anything that did not show itself to be true. And whenever I want to talk to my gods, I do not need a middle man. I always have a direct line.

[breelandwalker]

Just want to quickly remind newcomers to the tumblr witch community - This Isn't Tiktok.

Notes aren't a definition of success here. We don't have an algorithm that bumps things to the top of the dash based on popularity. And yes, it's ALWAYS the memes and shitposts and fandom stuff that gets the attention, compared to that long post about the current moon phase you spent an hour writing. (Trust me, I know.)

You're curating your own experience here. Liking posts is fine, but it's commenting and reblogging that kickstart meaningful interactions and help the posts you enjoy reach other users. Tagging posts is fine, but it's not a guarantee that your post will do numbers and tagspamming will get you blocked.

Yes, tumblr is by and large a fandom space, but that doesn't mean that's all there is. And unfortunately, expecting it to work like other social media platforms is only going to lead to disappointment.

If you want to interact with the community and start discussions, REACH OUT TO OTHER WITCHES. You can post in the tags all day and night, but if you don't make a direct effort to engage with other users by commenting, reblogging with commentary, or asking/answering questions, it's not likely to get you anywhere meaningful.

Consider this an invitation to browse my posts, check out my tags, and get in my inbox - and do the same for other witchy creators whose content you vibe with.

I'm glad you're here. Let's talk about witchy stuff. 😊

[pagingdoctorbitchcraft]

Witchy red flag #2: Practitioners who prescribe crystals for health issues.

Now I’m not saying that rose quartz can’t help your anxiety, but what I am saying is DO NOT carry a rock around instead of taking your meds. DO NOT tell people that xyz rock can help with diabetes.

These are real things I have seen being spread around in this community.

Like hello???

Also, this is a lowkey call out post for “The Good Witch’s Guide” by Charity Bedell & Shawn Robbins. There are sections in this book that are guilty of this very issue, with no disclaimer to be found. Obvi, it’s kind of an unspoken rule that when it comes to witchy books, you gotta use discernment level 100. But it’s also exhausting that it needs to be this way. These people shouldn’t be allowed to just put “yeah cuddle this quartz to get rid of your heart disease” without THOROUGH disclaimers present.

All this being screamed said, I am a crystal witch 💀 I love those shiny bastards, and I use them regularly in my life and in my practice. But I also understand that they cannot perform miracles.

I sincerely hope that anyone who has been victimized by this weird concept wins their lawsuit against those authors 😀

That’s all for today, folks. Bitchcraft, out ✌️

[pagingdoctorbitchcraft]

Witchy Red Flag #1: It’s weird to name yourself after a deity.

Like, it’s one thing to be named like that by your parents, you didn’t have any say in that matter. That’s not what I’m ranting about today. It’s a different thing entirely to choose your craft name/witch name to be that of a deity and it’s strange. Essentially you’re telling everyone else that you view yourself as being on the same level as sed deity. In my experience, I’ve only known people who do this to have insane god complexes and very fragile egos.

I can imagine that some deities also take this as an insult lmao. I’m sure some of them think it’s cool too, but still ive never encountered someone who does this and isn’t insufferable sooooo…I can’t imagine that there are many deities who like this.

Also examples like Aphrodite who will wreck people if they compare her to other women/deities exist like hello lmao

Now that I’m back on this blog, let’s celebrate by pissing some people off 💀 I plan on making this “witchy red flags” a series of sorts, so buckle up.

did y’all miss me? 😈

[formerlypagingdoctorbitchcraft]

You don’t have a case of the Monday’s…..

If you know anything about the magical correspondences for the days of the week, you’ll know that our ancestors called Monday “moon day”. Moon day is meant for meditating, divination, peace, rest and the like. Moon worthy activities.

Capitalism however, has decided for us that Monday is the start of the work week. Because nothing is more important than money right? Most of us have no choice now but to work five or more days a week just to stay afloat, and I hate that for us. 😀 for some reason, this modern age has normalized getting no proper rest and busting our asses for jobs that don’t appreciate us, and honestly don’t pay us enough either.

So is it really just a “case of the mondays”? Or is it something more esoteric? Imo it’s not just cause it’s Monday, it’s because our instincts know we’re supposed to be resting today. It’s a very old tradition that many of us have lost, and more of us still can’t take part in because of the state of the economy.

Just a super fun witchy fact for the start of your week, lmao.

I hope we all have quick, easy weeks at work. Let’s all fast forward to the weekend.

Moonday vibes be like:

But capitalism be like:

[pagingdoctorbitchcraft]

Happy moonday, magical folks✨🌙

[formerlypagingdoctorbitchcraft]

Capricorn thoughts:

Some backstory: my friend is a capricorn. Whenever he reads something written about Capricorns and how they love status, he always protests that this doesn’t fit him.

That got me thinking, and I think I figured out why he says that. When most of us think of “status”, we think of money. That’s not wrong, but that’s not the only definition of status.

What capricorns really crave is power. They want to be “that guy” of whatever their interest is. Yes, usually power does come from money, but not all capricorns are after money specifically. What they really want to be the best, they want that reputation.

In my friend’s case, he wants to be a travel influencer, that’s his only focus at the moment. So while his main focus isn’t status via money, it is very much status via social media. He wants to be able to explore the world while also supporting himself through it, so money is still involved but it’s not the main focus.

I have a coworker who’s a capricorn also, and it seems his only goal is to be the “cool guy” at the office lmao. Very Micheal Scott vibes.

Whatever their goal may be, capricorns are probably the worst for giving into tunnel vision. Once they see a path to what they want, everything else falls away 🥴

So, to the capricorns out there, remember that status can be fleeting. It’s good to have goals but don’t forget the people who support you on your path! Take a break once in a while 😛 Don’t give up on your goals, but remember it’s important to be well-rounded lmao

[formerlypagingdoctorbitchcraft]

Number one pet peeve for someone with a Leo Venus:

People not reciprocating the effort they’re given. My energy/time/care is a gift that not many people get, so you better use it wisely and reciprocate the same amount of effort back.

Sincerely,

Someone with a Leo Venus lmao

[formerlypagingdoctorbitchcraft]

Um, absolutely not.

Not today, bitch. If I ever catch someone who’s reblogged/posted some terfy shit interacting with my posts, it’s an instant block. That is truly so pathetic on y’all’s part. Do better.

FYI FFR, my favourite button on any social media platform is the block button lmao. And that’s on the tolerance paradox, bye!

[iclosed]

the more i think about it, the more i realize how weird is most criticism i see on air signs.

like, "they're so flakey, they changed their mind and think differently now". which is what happens to every open-minded person ever. you learn, you grow, you change. it's the way of life if you're not stuck on some ego bullshit that you're always right and it's dangerous to change.

or the usual accusation of being two faced... honestly, acting nice and polite with people you don't really fuck with doesn't make you fAkE. what kind of high school bs is this?? just because someone isn't your favorite person or has traits that irk you doesn't mean you should be rude to them or make them feel stressed. it's not so hard to just....not communicate much with them and when it's weird not to, to be civil and polite.

that's actually what society is built on. the promise of civility and politeness even to those who are different from you or you don't like for whatever reason.

srsly air signs are like the foundation of any civilized community and y'all are acting like some Noble Protectors of Loyalty and Honesty. grow the fuck up. looking mean and acting grumpy with your friend's girlfriend cuz she's annoying isn't because you're a scorpio and a real one lol. it's cuz you're an asshole. adopting a different mindset instead of being stuck on the same toxic shit isn't something to be that proud of.

[formerlypagingdoctorbitchcraft]

Petition to get anyone under the age of 18 OFF of the internet entirely. I’m so tired of these over dramatic children ruining everything 🥴🥴 so fucking annoying. Not to mention all the nasty men people online who could take advantage of them. Go do your homework my god.

[formerlypagingdoctorbitchcraft]

As y’all probs know, Instagram has a scourge of account fakers goin around tryna scam everyone. This obvi sucks and is super annoying but I just found a related thing that’s more annoying imo lmao…

PSA: If your account is just reposts of other people’s content, you don’t get to be mad that someone else is creating dupe accounts of yours.

Like make your own content, then you can be mad lmao. Obvi, we all reblog shit on tumblr but this is not the same thing. I see people just straight up taking other peoples content and reposting it as theirs on Instagram all the fucking time. (You’d think they’d get better at cropping, since they do this shit so often but I can always tell lmao.) And these accounts have hundreds of thousands of followers like??? As a photographer and content creator who has been ripped off before, this bs really grinds my gears.

Des-gust-ANG

But then, these people make posts calling out fake accounts that are impersonating them. Like, mad that their content is being stolen. Girl, wut?? Your content? Nah. Wtf.

Let’s be for real, how are these people any different than the scammers? Sure, maybe they don’t cold message people tryna take their money but they’re still using other people’s hard work for their own gain 🥴 a tad hypocritical, no? (Yes lmao). And no, writing the OP’s username without actually tagging them does not count as credit, bitch.

Anyways, there are few things I hate more than a hypocrite, if you can’t tell lmao.

[cloudselkie]

One of the things that really gets me when it comes to online witchcraft and magic spaces is how hard people push the narrative that beginner magic is dangerous. It really isn't. No demon is going to show up and suck out your soul because you accidentally summoned it. No deity is going to go out of their way to harm you. Most spirits can be dealt with using a basic banishing spell. It is extremely uncommon for witches to hex each other, but you wouldn't guess it from the fear mongering that goes around about it.

What IS important for beginner witches is learning mundane skills like discernment and critical thinking. Because when you're just getting started, the most dangerous thing you are going to encounter is other practitioners preying on newbies. Know how to spot grooming. Know how to spot cult-like behavior. Know how to read books critically. Know how to spot bullshit when you see it.

Have fun with beginner magic. Get messy. Make mistakes. Fuck around and find out. There's no need to be afraid of it. No one ever cultivated a craft or skill by being too afraid to DO.