mini Slut Dragon.

TrillahSaurus 🐉

[pahrker]

we are all just echoes of someone else’s memory, but i refuse to fade quietly.

[pahrker]

i am unwell.

let’s start there…ok.

im not wild, not free, not spontaneous

im not whatever fantasy you conjured up about me. it is bipolar hypersexuality, not chemistry. you were my symptom, not my soulmate; my impulse dressed up as an interest.

you? specifically? you weren’t special, you were available. i look back now with the kind of clarity that comes after meditation, therapy, and standards. i cringe less at what i did and more at who i let believe they mattered. i hate who i was during that phase, mental illness explains the impulse, not the taste. im learning to forgive myself for my poor judgement. I’m disgusted by that phase and how little it took for people to access me.

Never again. 🫂

[pahrker]

so unexpected it takes you by surprise

a sudden rush of feeling that makes you want to die but instead you just exist.

you never know where it comes from or how it found you but this feeling shows up so much, it isn’t a guest.

it wanders around comfortably welcomed by my overthinking and thoughts of suicide.

i am a pendulum swinging between living and existing.

my mood dances like a hurricane, rain, thunder, sunshine, all encompassed into one.

& still, i find beauty in shifting.

even my sadness has rhythm, my loneliness harmonizes with despair.

my heart sings in a key no one has heard.

[pahrker]

[pahrker]

I’m broken, and I thought love could fix me.

I carry this weight

my body, a heart unwelcome,

a soul begging for silence in a world too loud.

It’s too much…

There’s no comfort in memory,

only proof of how disposable I am

unloved by those

who once called me irreplaceable.

-🐉

[pahrker]

I really wonder if pain is my purpose

I mean what else do I have?

I am not chosen.

I am not wanted.

I am just here, a body carrying hurt

so pain has somewhere to live.

-🐉

[vexheart]

[pahrker]

No one is going to love me and the hurt I come with. I just need to know im worth it. These feelings of worthless are eating me alive. I hate being alive. Why am I living by in this pain!

[lost-ang3l]

𝒟ℴ𝓃𝓉 𝓀𝓃ℴ𝓌 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓉ℴ 𝒹ℴ 𝓃ℴ𝓌

[pahrker]

The Weight of Staying

I wake with the heaviness again

not my body,

but in the space between my lungs.

Waking up is a humiliation ritual.

Breathing feels like apologizing.

Moving feels like stealing from myself.

People tell me to keep going,

but my feet are tired, and the road never ends.

Maybe it was never meant for me.

Maybe I should just, go.

-🐉

[pahrker]

“When the Timeline Turned Into Touch”

it started with a follow

casual replies,

a like here,

I didn’t think much of it at first.

But you kept showing up,

soft and steady,

like a song I didn’t know I needed.

Your words were smooth,

not rehearsed just… intentional.

You asked questions no one else did,

the kind that lingered in the chest.

I started looking for you

in my mentions,

in my dreams,

in the space between my thighs.

You intrigue me.

I’m fascinated by the possibilities of you

& aroused with interest.

The idea of you waters my root

I just want to be nurtured by you.

When we spoke,

it was like déjà vu in real time.

We talked like we were catching up

on lifetimes we missed.

You listened with your whole being,

vibes intertwined, like you understood

that some tweets carry whole stories

and mine were unfolding.

Now I think about that moment

when the algorithm aligned

how something so digital

birthed something so divine.

-🐉

[pahrker]

[pahrker]

[pahrker]

Have you ever wanted to die but not in like a suicidal way but more like a rebirth? i find those are my sentiments regarding life lately. i don’t feel… i KNOW people don’t treat me fairly. it’s taking a toll on how i view myself.

why am i not good enough?

am i not worth it?

a lifetime of misery only for fleeting moments of happiness is all life is.

[miss-starrynight]

Euphoria 🎬

[femestella]

[pahrker]

i hate that unless you’re having an episode people rarely check in on you. what about the rest of the time? why does it take me being on the ledge for people to notice i need help.

people’s advice is to just go be alone and live alone and empower yourself but that’s all a crock of bs! you don’t know what it feels like to be alone. it’s not as grand as you may think. people that’s always around people suggest being alone. i have never once met an individual that identifies with my sentiments and offered that as advice. they know the silence is loud and alone is possibly the worse place to be. idk if they care & don’t know any better or if they’re just tryna shut me up. smh