Pain.teded

this is an amalgamation of dumb shit, pretty shit and weird ass shit that should probably not belong on the same blog but i put them there and there they will stay Eddie // it/they/he //

[thatnordicguy]

I've failed to read rooms I was alone in

[guardianspirits13]

aro(sp)ace

[art-of-a-space-duck]

A little doodle I made at work that I decided to turn into a full picture.

[kisseism]

"omg you remembered!" of course i did. I have a file on you

[moreauver]

neil with his binder

[yfel-axel]

I don’t care that Christmas is over

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the Murderbot Diaries opens from the point-of-view of a character who, from essentially the moment it gained (clawed its way to) free will, has made decisions based purely on two very specific motives:

to self-soothe and self-educate (through media consumption)

to protect the people around it

and this protagonist, who deescalates violence at every opportunity, who takes a thousand personal injustices in stride and only strives to do better, whose first-and-worst-and-most-brilliant act of self-reclamation—literally reclaiming its mind—was fuelled not by its need for freedom but by a desperation to never be forced to hurt anyone against its will ever again.

this person, when choosing a name for itself, a name it has full reason to believe no-one else will ever learn, a name it uses only in its thoughts, a name that serves solely as a personal reminder that it is a person—chooses MURDERBOT? i am thrashing writhing screaming into the palms of my bloodstained hands BABE

[shitpostingkats]

Important part of the category 9 situationship Qifrey and Olruggio have going on is they're like 70% cottagecore domestic partners and 30% Really Fucked Up Actually. Qifrey keeps mindwiping Olruggio every time they start having an emotional conversation so Olruggio doesn't think anything is wrong. This is subtly fucking with not only Olruggio's perception of their relationship, but his relationships with other people because now he's instinctively avoiding emotional confrontations even though he doesn't know why. He doesn't even recognize this is a thing happening to him. Qifrey gets to watch all this happen and continues doing this and desperately clings to keeping this whole thing afloat, partly because being in an emotionally unstable house of cards that could collapse under him at any time is actually good for his health, partly because he literally doesn't know a life without Olruggio in it and can't concieve of them not being together. He justifies this to himself by saying that if Olruggio knew the whole truth he'd want Qifrey to do this to him. And the most heartbreaking part is he's probably right.

The love is there. The love is there. The years of increasingly fraught codependancy is there also.

[thisisalovestry]

file -> phrases that are going to shift something in me forever

[insomniparty]

[zestivivi]

The sensei💫✨

[brucebocchi]

[hapafuil]

This is how I feel about people calling Martha Wells a slave apologist or whatever, because her enslaved characters exist in well established systems of oppression and aren’t falling over themselves to lead the charge to end said systems.

Like it’s a series of personal diaries about a person learning how to person and find themselves/people to call friends and family.

Not every oppressed persons story has to be about dismantling the system that fucked them over. It can be them working the system to get what they want. It can be them finding people willing to help them move more freely within dangerous spaces. It can be them having their own harmful biases challenged. It can be them learning to trust others despite it all. It can be them realizing their suffering doesn’t make them a good person and sometimes they just aren’t. And if they want to be that shit takes effort. Especially in a universe where violence is always one of the first options and the rich are destroying literal planets for greed.

And Murderbot is not happily owned by Mensah. It says this repeatedly through the series. I don’t know why critics say that it is. Mensah is just 1000% more preferable compared to the company or any corporate. I see critics laser in on the inequality bots and constructs face but no one mentions how indentured humans have it just as bad or worse.

Pls. Yes tmbd is set in a capitalistic hellscape of exploitative labor and abuse. But that doesn’t mean the main narrative has to be about rebellion and the exploration of how to dismantle those systems. It can be about people doing their best within their current restraints.

If you want uprisings and rebellions The Murderbot Diaries are not that. Find something more your cup of tea instead of criticizing media in bad faith and calling the author names and a horrible person because they didn’t write the story you wanted.

[sevinohl]

Every fanart i see of rocky and adrian is just this and i love it

[teaboot]

Do you have any advice for someone else who is in the very beginning stages of the "life is a precious gift rapidly escaping me, I have to change to become someone better and be happy before I've wasted all of it" transition? I'm tired of losing so much life and joy to grief and trauma and I also want to start creating and seeing and enjoying as much as I can for my tiny time as a carbon based lifeform but it's overwhelming to say the least

Actively seek out things that inspire wonder

Look for the good parts. There are good parts. There are interesting parts. There will always be good and interesting parts.

Treat yourself kindly. This one is difficult.

Do things out of ridiculous whimsy.

Practice cog itive behavioural exercises to self-examine and address beliefs and behaviors that are causing suffering.

Don't argue when people compliment you.

Don't rush yourself, and don't assume it'll be like this forever when you have a backslide. These things happen. Over time, they happen less.

Be honest with the people you love and trust.

Tell people how much they mean to you and what you like about them.

Help others and find satisfaction in being the stranger that did something good

Consider speaking to a medical professional, my antidepressants and anti-anxiety medical took some time to figure out but life is WAY better.

Have a silly little craft or hobby.

Let yourself be bored sometimes. Stand outside in the rain and let yourself get wet. Go on a walk. Put your phone in a different room and wander off. Meet up with a friend and go on a long walk together to nowhere in particular

Start doing things because you want to and it feels good, not just because you think it's something you should say yes to.

Say yes to things.

Take a random day of the week and go into a store or a business you've never been in before.

Compliment strangers when something about them is striking.

Read books and watch movies that make you feel the exact right amount of ecstatic and embarrassed, and make all the silly noises about it.

Collect scraps of fabric and little trinkets and all the little textures and colours you love and stash them in a shoebox or something like a tiny dragon's hoard.

Start a collection of something small and inexpensive. Like corks.

Make food with ingredients you've never used before

Make long lists of all your favorite things- flowers, bugs, songs, foods, places

Start a trash-book to fill with scraps of neat wrappers and bits of paper and colored fabric from old ruined clothes

Imagine yourself as a alien from a dead and barren world who has just arrived on this planet for the very first time and imagine how excited you would be by every little thing

Cannot recommend enough that you befriend a creature

[rocketsaurus]

Curious what is actually normal for bed time. Go for your normal/average time, not your most extreme or what you wish it was.

what time do you go to bed? (local time)

7pm or before

8pm

9pm

10pm

11pm

12am

1am

2am or after

it's never consistent

some other time entirely

Remaining time: 1 day 21 hours

I just don't know what grownups do for bedtime and I want to know!!!

[vesperosy]

this tweet has been fucking killing me

[agathah]

Happy Pride month 🖤🏳️‍🌈

[moreauver]

just remembered neil pretended to be a sociology student to hitchhike with the truck drivers. as a sociology major that is SO fucking funny. go king do your field research. get that participant observation

[gokucat]

feeding her stuffie must live on....