What's Bloodborne's Plot?
So this ancient underground civilization™ thought it would be pretty rad to make a deal with some aliens and take their blood, but surprise, it actually wasn’t a good idea at all! Turns out the blood was in fact bad for humans and turned them into beasts. At some point the aliens got bored or something or maybe it was just really stuffy underground, so they left the ancient underground civilization™ and looked for new things to play with (all except Ebrietas because either the other aliens didn’t want her to come or she really liked living in the dark, cold, damp ruins of a dying race, who knows). Things went a bit downhill from then and everyone underground either turned mad or turned beast.
Anyway some years or decades or centuries later someone was like “let’s build a gothic city with as many superfluous ornamentation as we can think of” and others were like “yeah okay” and they built Yharnam right on top of the ancient underground civilization™’s former homes. There was also a school and of course it was bound to happen that the pupils stumbled across those ancient homes at some point (tho no one knows how, maybe one of them stubbed their toe against some weird monolith that came out of the ground and it turned out to be the entrance to the old labyrinths). Down there they found traces of the aliens and since they didn’t know that most aliens are evil and want to overtake the world, they decided to research them instead of calling it a day and never coming back.
There were two people in the school that were a bit more important than the rest. One of them was principal Willem, who just sat in his chair all day and waited for the aliens to abduct him because he found them so cool. The other one was Laurence and he’s like “let’s take this blood and make a religion out of it.” and principal Willem was like “no Laurence this is a really horrible idea” and then Laurence was like “Pshhh whatever.” and he went to found the healing church. And since Willem only sat in his chair all day he couldn’t follow and stop him.
So Laurence and his church became pretty popular in Yharnam and the blood they took from the aliens healed all kinds of diseases and people came from far and wide to get an injection with the blood because hepatitis hadn’t been invented yet. But as we all know the blood turned people into beasts, so Laurence was like “oh fuck” and called his friend Gehrman to hunt and kill those beasts so the rest of the populace could take their blood and transform in peace.
Like that the Hunter’s Workshop was founded and did some pretty nasty things, until one day Laurence was like “actually you know what I don’t need you anymore, I made a new gang of hunters, with black ones and white ones.” and Gehrman was so pissed about it that he made contact with one of the aliens and immediately got trapped in a dream world. Stupid Gehrman. There was also this other dude called Micolash who was friends with Laurence at first and helped him with research and alien-ology. But then got bored and founded his own school. It was much fancier than that of Willem because Mico had rituals and sacrifices and neat headwear. Somewhere along the way he fucked up tho and contacted an alien, too, and of course promptly got trapped in a dream world. Those people never learn.
Anyway, meanwhile in the waking world Laurence realized that maybe, eventually, there could be a slight chance that the blood wasn’t good after all because the whole city had gone nuts. There are beasts and crazy people and crazy beast people and there is really no way to save things anymore. Enter The Hunter, a poor soul who just wanted some blood treatment and somehow got dragged into the whole thing of beast hunting. After overcoming several obstacles, including a really sad priest, multiple screaming gigantic dogs, Good Ol’ Micolash Himself and progressively weirder-looking aliens, The Hunter is left with the choice of dying, also getting trapped in a dream or being turned into a squid. The latter is the best option because you still get to be with The Waifu.
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