KC

He/it. This is a sideblog about my queer experiences and sometimes other stuff.

[pally-plate]

I am genderqueer but I am not non-binary.

I am a binary gender. That binary gender is male, and happens to also be genderqueer. Even if that “technically counts as being non-binary,” it doesn’t to me.

I am two genders at the same time, but I am not bi-gender.

I have two gender identities. They coexist at the same time and never change. I am always male and always genderqueer. However, I am not bi-gender. You might be scratching your head and wondering how that’s even possible. How can someone who’s two genders at once which never change not be bi-gender?

Because I’m not. The label just doesn’t fit me. I do not identity with the label bi-gender. I am not bi-gender, I am genderqueer. A genderqueer guy.

Although my gender fluctuates in intensity, I am not gender-flux.

My gender tends to be silly goofy and likes to fluctuate in how ‘intense’ it is. One day, I could be feeling 100% super manly man, boyly boy, and want only to be addressed using he/him/his, no matter what I look or dress like that day. Other days, I could feel a little more ‘disconnected’ from my manhood, and although I still love he/him pronouns, I might throw it/its into the mix too. (But never they/them.) You’re probably thinking that that sounds like the textbook definition of gender-flux. And it more or less is. But it’s not me. Even I don’t know why; I just don’t vibe with the label.

There are certain labels that, although they may “technically” describe someone, won’t fit them. In my opinion, gender should not be defined as what label “technically” fits. It should be defined as how the individual themself feels about it.

A binary trans person might identify as a label such non-binary, for instance, not because their gender itself is not binary, but maybe because they still like dressing in clothes traditionally associated with their birth sex, or because they don’t like being referred to as a woman or man and would rather just be called a person! Or even if they just like they way the label vibes with them and would rather use that instead or “trans man,” or “trans woman.”

Their gender could still be binary, but they are 100% allowed to refer to themselves as non-binary, for whatever reason they want.

If you want to use labels to describe your gender expression rather than identity itself, then that’s alright! You’re allowed, I promise. And if anyone tries to police your identity for no absolutely reason, just remember: it’s YOUR gender, it’s YOUR identity, and it’s NOT hurting anyone!

[beebfreeb]

[frat-house-collective]

Gender is so weird guys

I'm one of the girls, I'm a girl's girl and I'll cry if you say I'm not, but I'm not a girl's girl.

I'm also Just Some Guy, y'know? I'm a little weirdo, a freak, a little girl with dirt on his knees and fire in his eyes.

I'm her husband but I'm also her girlfriend.

I'm neither a man nor a woman but a weird recluse writer who lives on the edge of a cliff where its always stormy.

I dress like an alt older brother from an early 2000's movie but also like a 90's lesbian (sometimes it's the same outfit).

In conclusion, labels are weird. I'm a boyfriend and a girlfriend, a husband but not a wife, a girl but not a woman, a guy, a man, a friend.

All that being said, he/him and they/them are still very much my pronouns (never she/her).

Peace and love!!

[animentality]

[pally-plate]

Those people: transgendereds are suffering from mental illness!1!1

Normal people: if you truly believe that's the case, why are you harassing, sending death threats, and stripping away the rights of people you dub mentally ill?

Those people: ...

Those people: you're just mentally ill! That's why you're saying that!!!

[the-bright-path-deactivated2021]

[purplecatbus]

[Image description: Screenshot of a tweet by Twitter user “@HTHRFLWRS”, that says, “not nonbinary as in “add a third X gender marker to licenses” but nonbinary as in “remove all genders from licenses, holy shit why would you want a cop to know you’re trans” /end ID]

[oodlenoodleroodle]

I'm gonna keep asking it: if the law is supposed to be the same regardless of gender, what is legal gender needed for if not treating people different based on their gender?

[akindplace]

ooh rebloging for that last comment, so on point ily thank you

[capricorn-0mnikorn]

I can't think of any reason why anybody should know your gender without your permission, cop or not.

Gender's a real thing. But it's also deeply personal, and ephemeral, like your personal relationship to whatever god you worship (or not, if you even believe in gods).

It's nobody's business but your own.

[megpie71]

The traditional answer to "why is it so publicly accepted that we have to disclose gender identity to everyone and anyone who seems vaguely interested?" is basically along the lines of "planning for sanitary facilities" - or in other words, "we need to know that people who aren't men are visiting our premises so we can plan to have a toilet set aside for women". Now, this was a Big Thing back about a century and a half ago, when women were starting to advocate for access to the public sphere (of work, politics, etc) rather than being shut out of it all the time. These days - not so necessary: it's assumed about half the population will need or want to sit down to pee, and that they're going to want to do so in private. Indeed, if we're going to be gathering demographic data for the purposes of sanitary planning, then we'd need to be gathering data about things like "do you need a change table? How about a diaper bin? Do we need to have a hoist available?" in order to fully gauge the needs of the community of people with mobility disabilities, and how prevalent their needs are.

This doesn't explain why I need my gender identified on my driver's license, however. Especially in these days where it's a piece of plastic with a photo of me on it.

[capricorn-0mnikorn]

This doesn't explain why I need my gender identified on my driver's license, however. Especially in these days where it's a piece of plastic with a photo of me on it

Exactly!

And even if the rise of women in public led to strictly segregated bathrooms, that doesn't explain why a cop would need to know how I pee.

[pally-plate]

THIS EXACTLY

[softservecanine]

We always talk about the “her pronouns are they/them” experiences but what about the “their pronouns are he/him” experiences

[pally-plate]

THIS 100%

[dysphoria-things]

this just. isn’t true lol. from the publicly available data that i can find… no.

they seem to have this idea that 1. the best outcome here is actually to avoid transition, and 2. anything that might lead to transition(a concern that has no scientific basis) is inherently harmful. even if that thing is shown to help.

besides, you can’t start hormones at 11, but you can start “natural” puberty. puberty blockers DO give you that time and stop the irreversible changes puberty brings.

and as for the data…

one study of almost 10,000 trans children found that transitioning younger was correlated with better mental health outcomes, so long as that child wasn’t bullied. almost ten thousand children.

this study found that with support and access to social transition, “transgender children who are supported in their gender identity have developmentally normative levels of depression and only minimal elevations in anxiety, suggesting that psychopathology is not inevitable within this group”. aka, you can avoid the mental health struggles correlated with being transgender if you fucking support your kids. 

treating transgender children and adolescence, an interdisciplinary discussion” is an excellent review of transgender and the first chapter goes through the correct steps to take as for treating children and the results. if you want to understand transgender children, great book. here’s a quote-

“In contrast to what happens in children, gender dysphoria rarely changes or desists in adolescence who have been gender dysphoric since childhood and remain so after puberty(Seensma, Biemond, de Boer, & Cohen-Ketenis, 2011)”

[etherealspacejelly]

lmaooooo cry about it bitch

[gigifluidcat-deactivated2026042]

How I feel scrolling down the Queer tags only to find out it's mostly just porn:

[raqualswonderfunblog]

[pally-plate]

I'm one of those blue pink white pink blue guys

[positrans]

its okay if your identity changes after a long time. its okay if you suddenly become unsure of things. its okay to start experimenting, and trying out new labels/names/prounouns/etc. things can change, its okay.

[sirfrogsworth]

I just watched a video that revealed teenage baseball pitchers are getting elective arm surgery to "get it out of the way" so they have a better chance of getting drafted and having an MLB career.

I don't ever want to hear about the 200 or so 17 year olds getting top surgery every year while sportsball parents are making their kids get arm surgery so they can pitch a little better.

Apparently it is child abuse to help your kid drastically improve their mental health and relieve severe dysphoria but if mommy wants a McMansion from her son's pitching arm, surgery is perfectly fine.

I'd also be grateful if I could never hear a conservative talking head say "perfectly healthy breasts" again.

[cartoonrival]

one of the weirdest experiences ive had being trans and out so far was when i went to the doctors about hrt and she walked me through the consent form (the one that tells you youre doing irreversible damage to your body and you're a freak) with a pen in her hand like crossing shit out and being like "this isn't true, this is actually completely false, this is totally an exaggeration" and it was stuff like "research on hrt is limited poor and speculative" or "hrt can increase risks of disease" or "testosterone makes you more violent and angry" like idk having it written in a way intended to make you feel like you're making a big mistake is one thing but the fact that the form has like literally proven false info in it and the doctor had to verbally be like sorry this isnt even true its just on there because society hates trans people. is wild

[bellaswansong]

message for girls: you can be a boy too. you dont have to stop being a girl to be a boy. if you dont want to be a girl you can stop, but you can also keep being a girl and be a boy at the same time. you can be a trans man and still be a woman if you want. if your womanhood is real to you and not just an imitation of what you think you're supposed to be doing, the way a lot of trans men describe, you can keep doing womanhood and just start doing manhood alongside it. and even if yours is an imitation you can keep it forever if you want to, if it is dear to you, you do not have to give it up to be valid.

and btw if your womanhood is hard-won and you feel like any hint of manhood is a threat to your validity, you can still have both things if you want both of them. you can be a trans woman and also a man if you wanna. you don't have to but if you want to, you can.

also no matter what kind of womanhood you have you can stop doing it whenever you need to. including if your womanhood is sincere and genuine btw. and it doesnt have to mean you were never a woman. you can do whatever you want forever i love you

[daily-spooky]

Art by @valbunnn