Doof Wonder

[anxietyproblem]

[puz62-deactivated20210825]

[goodbyeeveryonepeacendblessings]

where’s that video of the naked crackhead literally running the speed of a moving car and I use the term literally literally he was deadass keeping up with the car

[goodbyeeveryonepeacendblessings]

[signlesstheredbloodedtroll]

Hi! Humans don’t have an eye shine, so that’s not a person!

[legitimatelala]

😨

[nyanbinyuri]

[ratbastard42]

New cryptid

[lintherubbishbin]

Uh. Ok. Well, so, humans DO reflect light from the back of their eyes. It’s what causes red eyes in photos with flash.

Cocaine makes your pupils WIDE OPEN just like animals at night and the camera auto-adjusts for color, usually assuming the brightest color should be corrected to look mostly white

So…. No, this is just a naked crackhead…

[poonbo-mcbean]

a little less interesting, and yet so much more comforting

[vile-things]

[tsaescii]

[unsnopable]

[catscenter]

[sneakyfeets]

my wife’s so cute because we both love animals so much but her way is very pure and genuine whereas my family is:

me, holding up my cat: stinky

wife: no!! don’t be mean!!!

me, swaying him back and forth in the air: stinky bastard man

wife: No!!!!!!!!

my mother, not looking up from chopping veggies: naughty boy. brat cat

wife, distraught: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[iwishiwascreative]

Guys my cat is so polite

[yeahishipitbitch]

Fun fact: My cat does this too and I was curious as to why so I asked the vet. Apparently your cat is hearing the stutter in your heart beat caused by the sneeze and is making sure you’re okay.

[sentimental-apathy]

[nochillscientist-deactivated201]

Bc we have the audacity to wake them up but not actually die

[bipirate]

Last night i had a dream where legolas straight up shot someone with a gun

[neenarchive]

legolas what does your scoped .50 caliber barrett m82 rifle see

[neenarchive]

[chokkilissa-nahollos]

i understand that my friends don’t wanna talk every day. i understand that my s/o doesn’t wanna be lovey dovey and super indulgent every day. lots of people need rest from performative emotions. all people need rest in general! it’s okay!! it doesn’t mean they don’t love me!! it’s not a judgement or punishment!! they deserve to take their rest, and they deserve for me to treat their needs with respect!

[ro-beau]

not a lot of ppl grasp this.

[tastefullyoffensive]

How to make Dead Chicken With Old Milk. (via jackapollo)

[keeperofthirteen-deactivated201]

This actually looks good. How do we turn it into actual food.

[dawn0star-deactivated20191205]

im going into shock

[dynastylnoire]

Hansel and Gretel GPS took me out

[mrclassyclass]

When your dog smells your food from the other room…

[maneljavier]

Monster Hunter: World - Monsters

[hottubtimetool]

[writing-while-female]

[rocket-pool]

Dying rn

[fluffle-talk]

@butterynutjob

[butterynutjob]

He stopped in front of the mirror and sighed. His penis was just a little too large to be fashionable, and his balls were just a little lopsided. Most days it didn’t bother him, but today he pushed at his genitals, trying to make them look more normal, like the men in magazines. It was hopeless. He dropped his junk in resigned frustration. There were worse things than having too large of a penis, he thought.

[spellbound7]

While, granted, some writers do take the breast thing too far, this comparison doesn’t even make sense. Men don’t obsess about their genitals the way women obsess about their breasts because they’re not in your face all the time (in the case of large boobs). Breasts are just more visible (closer to eye level).

[writing-while-female]

Newsflash! Women don’t obsess about our breasts. 

No really, we live with them 24/7, we can see friends, and relatives breasts pretty much on demand, hell, we just have to go to get changed at the gym to be inundated with boobs. They are really boring to us (ad while we’re on it, nowhere near as sensitive as so many men seem to think!).

The only time a woman might obsess about her breasts is when they’re painful, such as when lactating or wearing an ill-fitting bra, and neither situation is at all sexy.

Men obsess over women’s breasts. Women don’t. 

[mareebrittenford]

I’m just loling about supposedly obsessing over my breasts because they’re near my face.

[addigni]

“In your face all the time (in case of large boobs)”

So apparently large breasts are gravity-defying objects that rise up to our face until eye level, huh??

Any women out there willing to draw out how this guy’s version of boob reality might look like, because this is just too ridiculous 😂😂😂

[totallysilvergirl]

I needed this belly-laugh, I really did, so many you did too.

[love-in-mind-palace]

I..am..idk

[thescienceofjohnlock]

🤣😂🤣

[wind-on-the-panes-deactivated20]

And before anyone says anything about women who are into women: breasts can be attractive, but they’re still mundane and we are perfectly able to not ogle or feel abashed when in the presence of bare-breasted people.

[persephone-devotee-deactivated2]

[randaness]

dooooo your boobs float high

do they wobble toward the sky

can you not help but obsess

on your face-invading chest

can you cup them in your hands

and bounce them like a marching band

do your boobs. float. high.

[writing-while-female]

I think I love you,  @randaness

[thelastexhaledangel]

I’m crying 😂😂😂

[grrlgeek72]

And I’m pretty sure men obsess about their dicks way more than women obsess about their breasts…

[carrieasagiri]

This is too much 😂😂😂😂

I almost spit my coke 😂😂😂😂

[themightyglamazon]

GUY YOU LOST ME AT “Men don’t obsess about their genitals” LMFAOOOOOO

[xenonucleic]

If men don’t obsess about their genitals, then why are dick pics and drawing dicks on literally everything so popular?

[keybladesoras]

#BOO CALLING DONALD MIKE WAZOWSKI #ADORABLE!

[loloftheday]

Fucking dropped him…

[princesshamlet-deactivated20210]

[pugsandshrugs]

So why do you think you are suited to this position?

What are your achievements so far?

What are your ambitions. in reference previous education and work history?