Iâm not on antidepressants or anti-anxiety medication, though there are times Iâve wondered if I should be.
For most of my life, I struggled with executive function, dysthymia, auditory-processing issues, and social anxiety. I became a loner in many ways â deeply reclusive offline, despite appearing extroverted online for years.
What I once dismissed as personality quirks were, in hindsight, symptoms of ADHD and BPD. Now at 40, many of the more severe BPD symptoms that once shaped my life are nearly nonexistent. I no longer self-harm, and suicidal ideation no longer dominates my thoughts.
I grew up as the child of Puerto Rican parents carrying their own unaddressed trauma, addiction, and survival patterns, while trying to navigate a rigid American school system that often felt punitive rather than supportive. Mental health support simply wasnât part of the environment I was raised in.
Despite all of that, I earned a Bachelorâs degree in Psychology, became a licensed esthetician, and built a career helping people feel more comfortable in their own skin. Honestly, I think my lived experience is part of what makes me good at what I do.
I still donât have everything figured out. I use cannabis daily, practice mindfulness and Reiki, work out consistently, and fast from 7 PM until noon the next day. None of these things are magic solutions, and cannabis especially comes with its own downsides. But together, these practices have helped me feel more regulated, more productive, and more connected to myself than I used to be.
Healing hasnât been linear or perfect. But I am happier now. And for the first time in a long time, I feel like Iâm actively participating in my own life instead of just surviving it.
