Thank you for all the effort you put into those posts. It's cool that you do all that just to make the blog funnier for us.
You’re welcome, but don’t worry, it’s not a chore for me. Actually, I’ve come up with plenty of other funny moments you might like just from playing the game.
Stuff I’ve discovered in KotOR:
The Republic prisoners in the Korriban academy can’t technically be freed, but I found a way. I repeatedly challenged one, used stasis field on him, then brought out the next, finally freezing all three and bolting outside their range of awareness. Then after I’d massacred all of the academy’s faculty and student body, they were the only ones left and the academy was sealed. Korriban belongs to them now. It’s a moral victory, okay?
Remember the water compartment puzzle in the Sith’s Manaan base? I was able to arrange things to draw one of the Dark Jedi inside one of the chambers, use stasis on him, then seal him inside. It doesn’t drown him, much to my disappointment.
Once, I tried to complete Lashowe’s holocron sidequest without killing her by turning her hostile and then avoiding her to see what would happen. She will hunt you to the ends of the fucking earth, and, astonishingly, got the drop on me once and killed me, something no one except Malak could come close to doing at that level.
Not too weird, but if you go to Kashyyyk last, you can tell Jolee you’re Revan right away, and…he just doesn’t give a shit and tells you to shut up. The Rakata computer immediately recognizes you, so you don’t have to answer questions about how you’d solve the prisoner’s dilemma or exploit cracking the enigma code.
If you pick up the Rakatan mind prison on Korriban but don’t deliver it, it’ll still be there when you wind up on their homeworld. Try to open it, and you’ll get a message saying you have more important things to worry about right now. As far as I’ve found, you can’t talk to any of the locals about it, though I still need to try this after opening it.
If you’re wearing Sand People clothing and approach them, the Czerka miners will turn hostile and attack you. Switching outfits does nothing to calm them down. You have to kill them. Also, they aren’t carrying anything good.
You can avoid fighting those annoying Rakatan droids in the Dantooine ruins by running past them to the consoles and completing the tests before they have time to kill you. When you return to the center of the room and open the main door, the droids automatically explode.
The wraids cycle their spawn point between three spots in the Dune Sea. You can grind for XP by killing one group, going to the spot the next group will spawn, returning to the Ebon Hawk to restore your health and Force Power, then transiting back. You can target the damn things before their textures have even rendered. Surprise, motherfuckers.
You can leave Zaalbar on Kashyyyk. You’re only there to get the Star Map, and while the planet’s quest can be resolved there, the two goals don’t depend on each other. If you romanced Carth, the cutscene where the crew leave Lehon ends right after Mission says “Get a room” because he’s not there to say his line. No one will comment on his absence, and he’ll be missing from the final cutscene. I guess Revan and Carth refused to get a room and Mission had deal with it.
If you find Sasha and don’t take her back to Dantooine, she won’t be present for the Leviathan encounter, with Zaalbar informing you she apparently fled the ship immediately beforehand. If Zaalbar is gone, Sasha will vanish with no explanation.
Rakatan warriors will attack gizka, who will in turn attack them with their tongues, doing one point of damage with each hit. Gizka are invincible, and will eventually kill the warriors. Sadly, I have not been able to engineer a gizka/rancor battle. Yet.
Remember the “Down you go” incident where Carth tries to shoot Malak? Before the cutscene, I removed every firearm from the collective inventory and stuck them all in a crate to see what he’d attack with. The guy pulled a rifle out of nowhere and completed the event anyway.
Did the same thing with Bastila’s lightsaber, taking it from her to fight Malak. She still has it in the cutscene…even when Revan is visibly holding it. Since I still had it, I later used her old weapon to fight her on the Star Forge because SYMBOLISM.
During the Undercity encounter with Candy on Taris, I kited a horde of rakghouls towards him just to see what would happen. Though he has a health bar and takes damage, he turns out to be invincible after a point. Despite my best efforts, he remains the only non-droid companion you can’t directly kill.
One time, the Calo Nord encounter happened at the Krayt Dragon cave, but I found some bug where he didn’t attack me immediately, so I slowly snuck everyone around him and his posse. Then later I had to go back to the cave to get Bastila’s dad’s holocron, and Darth Bandon was there, talking about how Calo Nord was dead. While Calo Nord was standing visible in the background.
With the right cloaking device and a high enough stealth skill (Mission’s in this case) you can enter the Sith base on Manaan, walk past every enemy, and get the data file from the captured probe droid without anyone noticing. Then that desk jockey will trigger a scripted event no matter what you do. Because stealth is useless and the game will punish you for being stupid enough to put points into it.
If, for some bizarre reason, you put some of Jolee’s skill points towards security, when he fails to pick a lock he will let out and annoyed “phooey!”. Canderous gives a bewildered “crap…” when he fails. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone else in Star Wars ever say “crap”. The others just give normal disappointed expressions of failure.
I attempted to fight Calo Nord in the Lower City cantina. Y’know, when he’s invincible and is a one-hit kill. I tried every type of weapon I could (mostly by leaving mines everywhere) but couldn’t hurt him. However, I was able to survive the encounter by turning on solo mode, splitting up my party, and keeping them in stealth mode so he couldn’t kill all of us, then sneaking out of the bar. My original plan was to avoid the cantina until I had Bastila, then grind Rakghouls for experience and try difference Force powers on him, but you can’t do the encounter at that point.
If you go for maximum light side points and then join Bastila, taking certain dialogue options before fighting Jolee and Juhani mitigates how many dark side points you get. You can also get some points back by avoiding an encounter with a few Sith in the temple until after Bastila is with you, and tell them you’re loyal to the Jedi, putting the Dark Lord of the Sith in the grey. This actually turned out to be a bad idea, because then you can’t get the special robes on the Star Forge. I somehow wound up with the light side version, which I couldn’t put on because I wasn’t light enough. Don’t half-ass your evil, kids.
I successfully exploited every mechanic I could think of to rig the game so that I could return to the dark side without Mission dying. She’s still safe, standing on that beach.
I almost managed to do the same thing with Juhani and Jolee, unfortunately the console to turn off the disruptor field that keeps the Hawk grounded absolutely cannot be used unless they’re both dead. It was actually pretty easy, I just had Revan and Bastila use stasis on them repeatedly as I inched Bastila toward the exit and out of combat while Revan turned on a stealth field generator and went for the console. Once you’re out of sight, Juhani and Jolee lose interest and won’t attack again unless provoked. I only needed to get the stupid thing to work, then I could walk out, but it just kept making that damn beeping noises. SO. CLOSE. Guess I can’t wriggle out of all the consequences of my actions.
“So, uh, are we cool? Are we all cool? Can I leave now?”
I took on the Star Forge solo. Despite everyone’s complaints about respawning enemies, they aren’t infinite, and I eventually carved my way through everyone. Kept a tally, too: 22 Sith Troopers, 47 Dark Jedi and Sith Apprentices. Revan is supposed to be unstoppable, and I made damn sure my build reflected that. Nobody took more than two hits. Including Bastila in between her recharges. It’s actually a little easier in some respects, since I had master speed and could sprint away from enemies (and, more importantly, towards the Star Forge robes) without worrying about my party getting massacred. Also, during the cutscene before fighting Bastila, since there’s space in the script for her to put stasis on my absent party members, she just stands around awkwardly for a few seconds instead, like she wasn’t expecting you to come alone.
Then I fought Darth Malak in my underwear because at that point why the fuck not. Brianna may have been more right than she realized when comparing that battle to Echani sparring.
