The Land Of Distraction

Hiya! I'm Anna, I'm 23, she/her/hers, queer af. This is where I will post things I find amusing, inspirational, relevant to society, relevant to fandoms I'm in, or simply able to hold my attention for more than 5 seconds. Enjoy your stay!

[enki2]

[davidfosterwallaceandgromit]

Mulder. Please tell me what part of the american legal code covers this.

[davidfosterwallaceandgromit]

Every day I learn some more

[lepetitdragonvert]

Fairy Tales from the Far North by P. C. Asbjörsen

Translated from the Norwegian by H. L. Braekstad

1897

[cannibalchicken]

[highqueen-judeduarte]

Taryn: Why is there blood everywhere?

Jude: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife.

Taryn: You stabbed someone?!

Jude: No, no. I aggressively poked someone with a knife.

[alivingtypo]

you can pry starting sentences with 'and' or 'but' out of my cold, dead hands

[today-till-tomorrow]

op how does it feel to be the most correct person on earth

[highqueen-judeduarte]

“Poison may be a coward's weapon, but it's an effective one.”

― Holly Black, The Cruel Prince

[broadacre]

Snoop Dogg watching the Skateboarding finals with an unidentified man

[frankencain]

forever and always insane about the fact that haunting means "heimsuchen" in german which literally translates to "homeseeking". a haunting is a search for a home you can never return to

[smilepaint]

call me a ghost the way heimsuchen that dick

[decompose1]

phrases that would change the game if i was allowed to say them to customers:

- you should kill yourself

- i'm going to kill myself

- you should be really embarrassed about the way you're treating me right now

- do you get off to this or something

- i'm going to marry your mother so i can teach you how to behave in public

- bark like a dog. your below me moron

[yiffmaster]

I feel like witches are sedentary and wizards are migratory. A witch has a home, a cauldron, herbs, you go to them with your problem. A wizard wanders, disappears, shows up at inconvenient times to fix nothing. am i making sense

[audioexorcisms]

They dont tell you when you're born that a sandwich and a lemonade will be $20

[memewhore]

[sweaterkittensahoy]

The fucking legendary WAIT to fake bomb them to show them you knew the whole time. 

Legend.

[error-404-fuck-not-found]

i love that there was definitely an intelligence briefing where someone in charge heard that there was a fake airfield in progress and went, "...hey you know what would be funny?" and then everyone else agreed it was indeed SO funny that they would devote man-hours and a sizable log to making a fake bomb to drop on it while being only somewhat busy fighting a war, but never too busy for a funny craft project

[homeboygirl]

theres bikes around the city you can rent but you have to use an app that needs your drivers license. theres buses that drive right to your destination, but if you dont have change you need the app. you can wash your car here if you sign into the app. you can go to the bathroom here you just have to unlock it with the app that needs your location on. you can order at this restaurant if you scan the code and download the app. im losing my freaking mind

[charlesoberonn]

[charlesoberonn]

[fullmetalwindbreaker]

thinking about the guy at karaoke last week who requested creep by radiohead and instead sang, from memory, hey there delilah by the plain white t’s. with the radiohead creep instrumentals

[highladyofterrasen7]

*in jail*

Cardan: so who should we call?

Oak: I dunno

Cardan: I’d call Jude but I feel safer in jail.

Oak: so you want me to call wren??

Cardan:

Oak:

Both: vivi it is.