Anxious, oversharing introvert (don't know how that works). I would love to get to know some other fanders here! (If you're interested in my works, you can visit my account on AO3)
i'm curious to know the ratio of writers to readers on ao3 so here's a poll. when i say writer, i mean people who have published works on ao3, doesn't matter if it's once, or if it was ages ago, or if it's a regular occurrence. when i say reader, i mean people who have never published a work on ao3. the reader vote still counts if you don't have an account on ao3. if you're a writer who is also an active reader, please still click on the "writer" option!
ao3 ratio
writer
reader
Voting ended onAug 15, 2023
please do boost this so it reaches a larger sample space!
To all the fic writers out there that are not currently writing. Either it's because of RL, health, writer's block or something has happened that have disheartened you. Thank you for what you've written, and don't ever feel pressured or stressed - fanfic should be something good for all of us; both reader and writer. You're more important than what you do, but thank you for what you've done!
in this new year I want you to be alright. I hope you move out. I hope you have enough money to feel safe. I hope you abandon shame and forgive yourself. I hope you get enough sleep and some good news. I hope you laugh a lot and the heaviness of the world eases a bit. I wish you to be alright.
[The artist, putting a simple cake next to a much fancier one: “Aw man, that guy’s cake is way better than mine.” The Audience, gleefully holding up a knife and fork “HOLY SHIT! TWO CAKES!”]
Contrary to popular belief, Roman did not want to be here right now. He did not want to associate with the people he called his friends any longer, he did not have a crush on Tommy's Ex, Mya, had not drunk any of the seven or eight cups of whatever alcoholic drink they had given him, and did not want to play any of their party games.
Contrary to popular belief, Roman just wanted to go, the fuck, home.
The music was too loud, his “friends” were way too drunk for him to even fathom being within 10ft of them, and he didn’t think there was anyone else at this party that he’d want to attempt to talk to. So, he stood against a wall next to the table with all the empty bottles of liquor, holding a solo cup full of apple juice he found in the fridge and trying to look like he doesn’t mind being here right now.
He thinks about why he hasn’t left yet only to feel Tommy’s keys in the pocket of his jeans and remembered that as much as he doesn’t really like his friends anymore, he doesn’t want them to kill themselves (or anyone else) trying to drive home. He sees Justin in the back of the living room looking out the doorway, confused till he spots Roman. He tries to wave him down to come back. When Roman shakes his head, he just tries to wave him over more persistently until he gets pulled away by someone else. Roman groans in annoyance.
Someone passes Roman to get to the table and try to find a bottle that isn’t empty. There is a couple obscenely making out on the wall opposite of Roman. Well, they’re not the only ones at this party but they’re the only ones in his line of sight. There is a group of girls on the floor by the front door giggling and talking, and Roman actually thinks they’re high and not drunk. Good for them, he supposed. He finished the last of his juice when the person next to him spoke.
“You want a refill?” They shake at a bottle, “I found one that isn't empty.”
Roman just shakes his head and looks forward to, hopefully, zone out.
They shrug, “Yeah, I guess I shouldn’t have asked the only guy drinking juice here if they wanted a drink,” They pour the liquid into their cup.
Roman looks back over them, eyeing their dark makeup, black denim jacket where the sleeves look almost DIY-ed cut off over a purple long-sleeved shirt, a fuck ton of bracelets, and he finds combat boots to complete the whole look.
“How do you know I-?”
“I saw you pour some from the fridge.” They admit and then lean in and whisper, “It’s okay. I won’t tell anyone.” They grin, “Virgil.” They introduce themself, holding out their hand in a way that suggests they’re expecting Roman to introduce himself as well.
“You don’t seem as drunk as everyone else here,” Roman says instead, a little colder than he usually is.
Virgil blinks and looks him up and down as they say, “That’s cause this is only my second cup.”
Roman just nods and tries to close himself off again.
“You don’t want to be here.” Virgil seems to conclude, now leaning against the table. Roman doesn’t say anything. “You got dragged along with the people you were sitting with earlier?” They gesture over to the living room. Roman can hear the “oohs” from something scandalous happening.
“You’re observant.”
“I’ve been there before. I get dragged along by my sister. I don’t really talk to anyone either.” Virgil looked over into the hallway then eyed Roman again, “Here, come.” They grab onto Roman’s wrist, taking a step toward the hallway, raising an eyebrow to silently ask if he wants to come.
Roman places his cup down and, curiously, walks with them. He sees among the bracelets they’re wearing a rainbow one. “PRIDE” it reads. Huh.
Virgil brought him to a bathroom of all places and closed the door behind them. Roman immediately feels his head stop pounding from the music.
“Better right?” They ask, throwing their cup into the sink after finishing it and going to sit in the bathtub.
“Why’d you bring me here?”
“What? You’d rather be out there?” They laughed, pointing at the door. Fair point, Roman thought.
Virgil moved so that Roman could sit with them.
“This is going to be ridiculous to explain if someone walks in here.” Roman points out, in which Virgil responds by closing the shower curtain.
Roman struggles to repress a laugh, “That’s worse.”
Virgil rolled their eyes, “Well, you decided to sit in here with me.”
“What? You brought me in here!”
“I didn’t ask you to sit in the tub!”
Roman snorts, “Oh! You scooted over, that's practically the same thing!”
Virgil shook their head, smiling, pulling their knees up and resting their arms over them.
“Where do you get all of these?” Roman asked, reaching out to touch the bracelets they had on display.
“Oh.” They shrug, “Concerts. Online. Some I got from friends. They’re kind of comforting to feel all on my wrist. Y’know? Grounding almost.” Virgil watches Roman thumb at the rainbow one.
“You queer?” They ask after a deep breath.
Roman looks up at Virgil to see an indecipherable expression on their face.
“I- I don’t know. I’ve never really been with anyone.”
Virgil tilted their head, “Oh, that’s fine. Perfectly normal. No crushes either?”
Roman opened his mouth and closed it again, looking away. To his surprise, Virgil seemed to just drop the subject.
“What are your pronouns?” Roman asks.
Virgil smiled, and hummed for a bit, “Most people use he/him but I think I don’t really care. I’ll use anything. You?”
“He/him.”
Virgil nodded. “So, what’s bugging you about your friends?”
Roman shrugged, “I don’t know. They’re kinda ignorant, I guess. The type to tell you that you’re just being sensitive. Lighten up, it's a joke.”
“Yikes.”
“I don’t know, they just throw me off. I’m starting to feel like I can’t be myself around them.” He sighs.
“Well, if you need people to sit with at lunch or something,” Virgil pulled out their phone from their pocket, opened the contacts app, and held the phone out to Roman, “my friends and I’ll have a seat open.” They shot Roman an awkward smile.
Roman took the phone and entered his name and number. He managed to see out of his peripheral, Virgil smiled and then try to bite it back.
Roman hands Virgil their phone back and then they hold it up to his face. Roman throws up his hands to protest what he assumes is a photo.
“Woah. You are not taking a picture of me right now.”
Virgil laughed, “No, come on. I have stupid pictures of all my friends.”
“I never agreed to this friendship.”
“You signed the contract when you took my hand and let me lead you to the bathroom.”
“But…You grabbed my wrist?”
“That’s not my fault.” They both had awful grins on their faces, just staring at each other. Virgil lowered their phone. “I won’t if you really don’t want me to.”
Roman shrugged, “Yeah, sure. Fine.”
Virgil hummed, pleased, “Okay, now look stupid.”
Roman rolled his eyes and then put his hands to his cheeks and squished his face.
“Okay, lemme see.” Roman said after they took the photo. He took the phone and held it up to Virgil’s face in a moment of sweet revenge. Virgil, of course, groaned. “T'is only fair my friend.” Roman grins cheekily.
They stuck their tongue out and pulled at their eyes.
“There. Now, you send it to me.”
Virgil nodded with a reluctant, “Yeah, yeah.”
There was a moment of comfortable silence where Virgil began tapping their black nails on the tub’s edge. Roman’s eyes fell to their bracelets that he swears are as numerous as the stars in the sky. He looked back up to them.
“I like your makeup.”
“Oh.” They smile, sheepishly as a hand comes up to hover over their face. Roman might be able to make out a tinge of red on their ears. “Thanks.”
“I’ve never been good at it. My brother is though.”
“You know, I think I know your brother. Remus?”
“Yeah!”
“Yeah, Its makeup is pretty cool.”
“…it?”
“I- oh. Did-“
Roman shook his head. “I don’t know. He- it- …Remus should tell me.”
Virgil nods, “Uh. Well, I can do your makeup if you like.”
Roman snorted, “Yeah. I appreciate the offer but dark and edgy isn't really my style.”
That earned a scoff, “Oh you don’t think I can be versatile? I can make you look as pretty and preppy as you like.”
Roman laughed, shaking his head.
“…not that you need it. You’re pretty already.”
“Oh.” Roman blinked. He didn’t expect that but he smiled. “Thank you.”
Virgil gave him a small smile, looking down, going back to tapping at the tub’s edge.
“Is…” Roman began to wonder out loud, “Is that why you came up to me?”
Virgil looked up wide-eyed, “Well, I- Not- I just-“
Roman shook his head, smiling sympathetically. “It’s fine. I’m just asking. It’s okay if you did. It’s a pretty normal thing to do at a party.”
Virgil inhaled, “Yeah… sorry.”
“What are you apologizing for? I’m having a greater time talking to you than standing out there. Honestly, I applaud you for having the confidence.”
Virgil laughed, “Yeah, I’m not confident. Between the second-hand smoke and the drink I already had and the one I got to convince myself to go over there? I am a mess.”
“Well, so am I, so you’re not alone there.”
“But I-“
They tensed as someone walked into the bathroom. They walked around the space for a moment until they sighed, “No! See, I told you it wasn't in there, Alex!” Their voice faded as they walked out and shut the door.
The pair in the bathtub began having a giggling fit.
“Oh my- you’re right, we are a mess,” Virgil said, in between giggles, covering their mouth.
“You’re the one that has us sitting in a bathtub.”
Roman pushed the hair out of his face, “I’m telling you that we’re going to have an awkward time explaining this.”
Virgil just waved their hand. “Yeah, yeah. Shut up about it.” They looked up at Roman and exhaled, looking away again.
Roman tilted his head at that, trying to think of something to continue the conversation with.
“So, you come to parties cause of your sister?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“Is she any cool?”
Virgil shrugged, “Yeah, I guess. I mean she’s my sibling so I’m obligated to say she’s a loser though.”
Roman grinned, “Oh, I’m sure. Is she a senior?”
Virgil nodded, “Yeah, she’s leaving for college next year. Going out of state.”
“That kinda sucks.”
“Yeah… but hey, if you also keep getting dragged to these too, you know someone to take with you.”
Roman laughed, “Oh yeah. Hopefully, I’ll have better friends soon though.”
Virgil smiled, “Hopefully…” They went back to looking nervous. They squeezed their eyes shut and finally said, “Hey, Roman.”
“Yeah?”
“This has been fun… I’m enjoying talking to you or whatever.”
“Well, I’ll reiterate my statement that I also enjoy talking with you.” He tried to sound relaxed and not intimidating (not that he found himself very intimidating to begin with) to make it easier for whatever they were trying to say.
They laughed a little, “You’re cute. Um… I wanna ask this but I don’t want to, like… scare you.”
“No, it’s okay.”
Virgil peered up, “Really?”
Roman shrugged, “Yeah, it’s fine. You won't scare me away I promise.”
“Can- I want to- Can I kiss you?" They finally ask. "Or- do you, like, want? To?” They amend awkwardly, curling in on themself.
Roman considers for a moment. He wants to make sure he’s not leading them on. No, he’s pretty sure he isn’t.
So, wordlessly, he leans forward.
And Virgil sucks in a breath, leaning in as well and cupping their hand to Roman’s cheek. They press their lips softly together. Roman holds on to Virgil’s wrist as they kiss. A soft little kiss at first and they pull away just a short distance away. Roman pushes forward to continue the kiss and Virgil eagerly kisses back, parting their lips a bit, deepening the kiss. Roman hums into the kiss. He could taste the bitterness of whatever they had been drinking on their mouth.
When they pull away, Roman’s eyes flutter open. Virgil couldn’t help but grin as they gazed over him, “Dazed?”
Roman laughed, “Shut up.” He looked away bringing his hand up to his lips.
With their hand still at his cheek, Virgil rubs their thumb over his cheek. “You’re all red.”
“Oh, I’m sure you’re all red under all your makeup.” Roman teased back.
Virgil shrugged, “Maybe so.” They looked him over again and from the look on their face, they must’ve realized something. “Uh. First kiss?”
“Nah.” Roman said with a shake of his head, “I’ve kissed other people before. Nothing to really write home about… till now.”
Virgil lit up, “Really?”
Roman nodded and loved the smile that brought to their face.
He pulled them in one more time to which Virgil reacted with a “Hmph.” It was more grinning than actual kissing. One of their hands rested on Roman’s chest to keep themself upright. They were giggling when they pulled away. They sat back and covered their mouth, hiding their smile.
“What?”
They shook their head. “I don’t know. I’m just-“ They didn’t know what to say.
Roman looked back at the walls of the bathroom at the faint sound of his name. Sounds like Jade.
“I enjoyed kissing you too.” Roman finished for them, “Although, I think my duties as designated driver are being called upon.”
Virgil nodded, “Right. Well…” They waved bye.
Roman pushed the shower curtain open and stepped out of the bathtub. He looked back at Virgil and smiled.
“I’ll see you at school on Monday. I’m counting on you saving me a seat.”
Virgil laughed, “Yeah. Yeah definitely.”
Roman left the bathroom and Virgil slide down in the tub, looking up at the ceiling.
Holy shit.
They smile to themself.
They really did that.
They laughed again.
Holy shit. What a high.”
They sat up when someone knocked on the door.
“Virgil?” Their sister.
“Oh. Hey.”
“Ready to go?”
“God, please!” They scrambled to get up. Their sister laughed at them and helped them out of the tub.
On the drive home, they were still smiling to themself.
“What’s up with you? I’ve never seen you this giddy. Are you, like, high or something?”
Virgil shook their head. “No, not on drugs anyway.”
She chuckled, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Virgil shifted in their seat, picking at the ripped ends of their jeans. They inhale, “I walked up to a cute guy.”
She took her eyes off the road to glance at Virgil, “Oh yeah? And?”
Virgil shrugged, “We… talked, I got his number, We… kissed.”
“Ooo~” She nudged them with her elbow while they batted her away.
“Shut up.” They rolled their eyes and then played with their bracelets, buzzing with excited energy. “I’m strangely hopeful, which is weird for me, right?”
“Maybe. I’m happy for you though.”
They smiled at her and then pulled out their phone after feeling it buzz in their pocket. In their messages, there was a picture of Roman making a silly face, laying in a bathtub presumably at his house.
“Send me a photo of you in your tub so I know you got home okay.”
Virgil snorts, shaking their head. They liked the photo and sent a thumbs up.
“So how’d you end up in the bathtub?” She asked, pulling into their driveway.
Virgil shrugged, “I took him there. It’s quieter, emptier.”
“Very romantic.“ She comments sarcastically.
Virgil stuck their tongue out at her and got out of the car.
They send Roman a picture back, sitting in their bathtub as requested.
“I am all good.”
“Send a silly face pic rn” Roman messages back with the red angry emoji. “It’s only fair”
Virgil sends another photo. “How can I say no?”
Roman sends a red heart emoji.
“Woah heart emoji already? Going fast are we?”
“I take my heart emoji back go to bed :(“
Virgil laughs.
“Aw. I’m sry. Here.”
They send a purple heart emoji and Roman resends his red one.
When y’all are writing is there ever a point when you’re like “if someone does not lose their mind over this specific bit right here then what am I even doing?”
