Pants are just pants.

"... and clothes are for keeping you warm." (Fraser Mackay, musician)

[pantsarejustpants]

Summer is in Season

If you should know anything about me it is that I dislike the coming cold months, the frost, the short days, the general Winter. I will refrain from any Game Of Thrones reference here, this is a classy blog, not funkin' 9gag. This blog is so classy I started out with a praeteritio.

To shield me from the soon-to-dawn-upon-us-all winter temperatures, I am showcasing the most effective of accessories available. It is the most prominent one in the picture shown above, and it goes by the name of Lucifer. Of course, calling it an accessory is an abomination, as you can clearly see it is a cat. Cats will keep you warm forever. They are lovable creatures so your heart can literally never die (that is a proven fact by Science™). This one in particular is fluffy, fuzzy and loves to cuddle, so cold nights are long gone problematics as any a Lucifer will lay in bed with you and keep you warm (while you keep her warm, that is a win-win sitch). Frisky mornings, however, still happen as these babes need their full bowl o’ food in the morning and frankly, at that moment they do not care if your feet are covered or not. En tout cas, I would advise everyone to get a pet for the rest of their lives. Other than using this companion animal, I am keeping warm with a truly remarkable jumper this time. A distinguishable Gildan Heavy Blend half cotton/half polyester jumper with a fabulous design by Raketgeleerde. It's a warm, comfortable jumper and the fact that it shows a skull wearing sunglasses eating pizza is obviously a favourable aspect. They could probably sell these at H&M or Forever 21 in between the “Unicorn Bagels Are Forever” and the “Keep Calm And Go Get Fucked” shirts or whatever those things say nowadays. Very inspiring to say the least. The pizza box on this jumper says “pizza punx”, to make extra clear this is a punx jumper. Perfect for when you are at a non-punx place and you wanna ensure everybody that you are, in fact, a punx.

Now get ready for some real fashion advice. This will shock you!

... Would you look at that?! The T-shirt I am wearing underneath my jumper is the exact same colour. How clever! This way, when my shirt hangs out from under my jumper, which – fair talk – happens often, no one will ever notice. Of course, this has all been done intentionally when browsing through my draw– eh, wardrobe closet. I carefully picked out this Nervous Mothers Canvas-brand T-shirt. This T-shirt was a leftover from their 2014 USA tour. I got it off them for €5 after they got back to Belgium. Great deal, for me at least. I bet they were happy to get rid of it as well. Great shirt, it is actually made in the United States (the ones of America, ed. note) on a 90% cotton, 10% polyester blend. Very comfortable and the perfect fit for under my same-coloured jumper, the colour being grey – at least I think so.

Here is another picture. Because the colours are the samesies, you can hardly tell I am wearing the jumper in a highly-acclaimed shitbag fashion. I could go undercover golfing like this, or try out the stock market. I could enjoy a walk on the beach with my young trophy wife. I could have a driveway twice the size of a golf court in this outfit. However, do not worry, sometimes I do these things just for the cameras. Gotta rake in that shitbag-fashion money, am I right? 

On the subject of pants: the pants are Angels jeans. 93% cotton, 2% elasthan, 5% polyester. God knows where these come from. They are really just pants, peeps. As far as I know, their main purpose is stopping the inevitable merging of my both legs to form one big leg. That is what I have heard. Also to stop people from seeing me in my boxers. They are very nice pants. They do the job.

Underneath them I am proudly wearing my worn-out Vans slip-on sneakers. They show a checkered American Flag pattern. Ye classic stars and checkers. Star-spangled slip-on shoes. I bought them in America. To be precise, somewhere in Florida, most likely Miami. Huh, that was not precise at all. I bought them in a shoestore in Might-ami. That sounds about right. I wear these shoes to show of my global character. My Wanderlust. These shoes represent the endless quest for discovery. Truly.

Because there often is another side to these photoshoots as well, I want to show you two bloopers from this session. In the first, you can actually clearly see how my shirt covers my belly where my jumper failed to do so, all the while it still looks like one sole garment. Flawlessly coordinated. Notice how the cat is lovingly trying to get the heck out of this weird position I am keeping her in. No intent, just notice it please.

-Karel

[pantsarejustpants]

Like school on Sundays...

Whether it is the fact that my current to-do list has shortened to a comfortable length, or the e-trip down memory lane I took this past bored Thursday night, I am ready to get back into clothes, accessories and anything (faux-)fashion. It has been two years since my last defining statement, so let us get back into it. I am ready for my time to shine, for the swag, the deals, the life I always dreamt of: the life of an influencer.

I kid, of course. If there is one 21st-century invention that triggers my trapped nerves and makes my blood run socialist-red, it is the idea that someone can make an income of being popular with the sheeple of this world. That is exactly why my return to the format is as shown above: a garderobial cacophony of this day and age. My socks, they are not there. I did not have to leave my house until 3pm, so I rocked my feet commando-style, exposing my big angelic - I mean: angular - toe-fingers. Not so great for you, the influencee, but in the summer months I like to aerate my feet. Catch my in thick, woolen blanket-sized socks in a month or two! In full accordance to the namesake of this blog, above shown pants are just pants. But, discrepential* to the blog’s mission statement, I am seen wearing them anyway. I am rocking the skinny jeans, baby! These are my MAC Jeans Carrie Pipe jeans. A quick browse-around on the World Wide Web swiftly reminds me they are pants intended for ladies. So I assume these are some of the jeans I inherited from my mother a whole while ago. In 2017 no one cares about gender norms or binary identification anymore – except for the vast majority of those dang ol’ crazy bigots of course. All gender theory aside, the skinny jeans are some stretchy magical pipes of cloth. Composed of no less than 80% cotton, 19% polyester and a whopping 1% elasthan, these Concealers Of The Privates feel like they are hugging my legs constantly albeit with an ever-so-gentle grip so I do not feel uncomfortable. Perfect. I wear these to work sometimes on afternoon/evening shifts and weekends cause they’re casual jeans but also black, which makes them suitable for my job as a slave to society (mind you, that is not my official job title). The shirt I am wearing is a real cool one. I might remember incorrectly, but I probably bought this about seven years ago, when I saw Touché Amoré for the first time at a show in Mechelen. I like the shirt a lot cause it reminds me of growing up in an ever evolving music scene. The band is pretty huge right now, selling t-shirts like sweet cakes, so I think it is pretty cool I have this one that likely was not produced in the quantities they do nowadays. This 100% cotton Fruit Of The Loom Classic Valueweight (I do not know what that means) was made in Morocco, subsequently carefully printed with a scene of cottages, trees, a horse and carriage carrying a small person (a child mayhaps?) and some kind of smoke or mist cloud rising up. Very mysterious, that is certain. It probably has a deep subtext. There is a lot to read into, definitely. I really like the colour.

Even though it is September and I had high hopes for nice and warm post-summer temperatures, my wishes were not fulfilled and I already feel in need to wear a sweater. My medium BDG zip-up hoodie has been a trusted companion for me since a few years. It’s a light sweater, comfortable enough and it makes me look okay, which is a thing I like when clothes do that. It is definitely on the hip side of my wardrobe. Figures, since I bought it at an Urban Outfitters. This is my New York sweater that was not on sale but I got the discount price anyway cause I am a baller, if anyone remembers that story. If you do not, I posted about it two years ago.

Of course, the pièce de la résistance, the eyecatcher, the ultimate focus point of my outfit is my choice of headwear. I am a big fan of the Despicable Me movie franchise. At one point in time there was a spin-off movie, you might have noticed this, called Minions. I expressed my excitement towards this franchise, even the spin-off movie, a little too much apparently, because whenever we are out and my partner notices something minion-related, she will point it out to me. And you know how many minion-related things are out there, right? At one point she bought me minion socks (to be featured at some point). This hat however, was my own bad decision. On a trip earlier this year in Canada, we stopped by a Walmart for snacks, drinks and a new belt (my old one had broken). For some reason I told myself ”fuck it!” and bought a $15 minion hat. It does not even fit. It is very useless. The glasses are embroidered very nicely onto the front. I do not necessarily regret the purchase, but instead of “fuck it!”, why did I not think “fuck that, I will be too embarrassed to wear that anywhere and also it looks like it is not a good fit for my weird head”? Sometimes life just picks your battles for you.

Do not let life decide for you. Choose your own pop culture themed hats.

- Karel

*I do not know if that is an existing word.

[pantsarejustpants]

Seen better days.

What am I? A slacker? A deadbeat fashion has-been? Am I out of touch? Am I losing it? Well... Let me tell you, I am certainly some of those things, but most importantly I am lazy and busy - at the same time. I started this fashion safehaven when I had too much spare time. Now, I have just enough spare time. That means I fill most of my spare time with girlfriend hang-outs, watching cartoons and sleeping. Leaves little time for other things.

But look at this hunk of man-candy?! Yes that is me, obviously. Taken during the summer. Like a month ago. That is how long it is taking me to write a blog post these days. I guess you can all see what vibe I was going for. I call it the ‘every cloud has a pink lining‘ outfit.

If we go top to bottom, we first encounter the signature awkard look when photographing yourself using a timer camera. The glasses do not make it any less ridiculous, bur for those with lacking eye-sight, the four-eyes look is a good way to deflect from your naturally anxious and odd-ball stare. It does not make you look smarter; that is one of fashion's oldest myths. It just diverts the focus. Four eyes can take a bigger hit than two, so to speak. If any of you noticed from the high resolution picture: yes, I do own a new pair of glasses. These are Nautica glasses, type N8077, specifically bought because they make my eye-sight better. Additional bonus: they look good and make me look alright. Additional bonus with regards to my former pair of glasses: they do not have scratches and the frame is not almost falling apart all of the time.

The t-shirt I am graciously showing is a Lipstick Homicide band shirt, Fruit Of The Loom Heavy Cotton HD, in small. I bought it when I first saw the band in Brooklyn, NYC in October 2013. My friend bought the same one, only about five sizes bigger. The fit is okay, but the print is where it is at. A cat putting on lipstick, holding a dagger with its tail and a pink thought balloon with the band's name in curly ànd block letters. It is provocative, edgy and also really cute. The pink hints create a summer-style non-binary vibe of happiness and mental clarity. I went for the most obvious claire-obscure contrast with a white shirt and black shorts, specifically the Celio Romuda-style Bermuda shorts from the Relax Collection. I know, it looks like I am just saying words that look like a brand and type but I am telling you, I checked the labels and at least one of those words is the clothing brand. I think. Anyway, they are not my favourite shorts because they have these pockets at thigh-height with flaps to close them and I think that looks odd and stupid. Very convenient to put away stuff, but stupid-looking is all. I mean, they are extremely handy for passports, or papers, or a small book or candy, but they just look a bit on the goofy side of things is all. That goofy part of my outfit, however, benefits the sight of my socks, who just look ridiculous. They hold their own but seem to seamlessly blend into the entire ‘...but why?’ look I am sporting. The grey and bordeaux stripes make my feet look a bit fatter (that is just clever use of patterns) and the blue patch is only ever so slightly a bit horrid. One can not have it all, I guess.

To finish of I decided to go all-pink accessory with the pink tote bag, Epitaph design. I received this bag from my girlfriend, at the time it contained another pink object, the Osker "Idle Will Kill" record. Which record it holds in this particular picture is a mystery... Seriously, I forgot, I took this picture a month ago. God knows what is inside. Anyway, I really like it and I thought it would go well with the pink on the shirt and the vibrance of my socks. A great bag for the later Summer days or early Spring days. I am sorry for the lack of posts, I will hope to cure this in the future. - Karel

[pantsarejustpants]

Dance party for shoes

Do you not just love wedding parties? You can spend hours deciding what to wear, spent a ridiculous amount of time putting it all together and getting it on your body correctly. You can look forward to it for weeks on end and when it’s finally there you just want to take of your jacket and get rickety-rickety-wrecked. Son.

That is how I looked for the majority of the night at my friendseses wedding party. Like a dork, sure, but a handsome motherfuzzing dork, am I not? By the time this photo was taken, by a very beautiful person as well, I had already put my jacket aside for some groovy dancing and fun breezy times.

Let us analyse from the bottom up. I have truthfully only worn those particular shoes twice. Once at a wedding last year, and once at this party. I am just not into fancy shoes in regular life. I actually do like the shoes, they are fairly comfortable and look classy as damn. They have a woven pattern that makes them appear somewhat faux-edgy and the hard heel is perfect for pretending you are a tap-dancer. That is, in turn, one of the reasons they are reserved for special occasions: they are pretty loud. Nonetheless, I feel like a total champ when I am wearing my Antonio Barbieri shoes and they are surely some of the finest dancing shoes I own. For reference, I suppose you had to be there, or you will have to invite me to your next fancy-shoe dance party.

Next up on the fashion ladder is the unambiguously eye-catching pair of trousers you see. Orange. A colour that excretes happiness, joy and warmth. Remind me to soon show you my factually hideous Orange Combo outfit. It is a proper treat. I bought these Hilfiger Denim pants in this one jeans store right across the border in the Netherlands. It is mom-approved, and also Karel-approved. Feel free to give your approval or disapproval in order to keep track of how the pants are perceived in this day and age.

You can not see my belt or underpants so tough luck. They are both absolutely stunning and revolutionary though.

The shirt I am wearing was the same shirt I wore to work the morning of the wedding. I did quickly wash it in between those events. I just really like it. It fits me, makes me look like a gentleman and it is evenly coloured gray. I like solid coloured shirts. It makes me feel very grown-up. This is one of the few times I have it buttoned all the way up, as well. I needed to, because of the bowtie - also known as the 'brotie' by esteemed bros - but I actually like the way it looks. It is neat and smart. I did not so much enjoy the way it felt, as it crops up my neck a teensy bit. No worries, like the old idiom says: no slight discomfort in the cervical area, no gain. I bought the bowtie in the same store I buy all my radical clothes. You ought to know.

Here is a supplementary picture with my hair in the wair.

- Karel

[pantsarejustpants]

Choices. Decisions.

It is not because you are a criminal that you should not be able to dress sharp. You can totally give illegal marihuana to foreign bands and get a t-shirt in return and therefore dress mega-sharp. Sharp as an axe, in this case.

This is my friend. He sings in bands, and he also drinks in bands. And on other occasions... Last month he came to a concert I organised and he helped out some of the musicians who were playing there by providing relaxing substances in the form of soft drugs. In exchange, he received a t-shirt of the band. Ultimately, the t-shirt was forgotten by him and ended up in my hands, making me a proper man of the trades. I delivered it last week and promptly took a photo to commemorate how dang sharp he looked in the t-shirt. Observe. The dark navy blue shirt is a perfect alternative to the millions of black t-shirts that are present in every musical aficionado's closet. He pulls off the colour surprisingly well, the dark blue matches his shoes and his shorts in a way that it is very assorti. Thoughtful, stylish and to the point, albeit not planned in any way. The outfit visually exposes the eruption of the person's characteristic elevated spirit and inertia. The clair-obscure design on the shirt, depicting whales and a stormy sea, remind of mythology and art in the 17th century, while remaining topical and relevant at the same time. The scripture of the artist's name “James Choice” is intertwined subtly but beautifully into the whole design.

The shorts and the shoes are lovely leisurely garments that give this guy an aura of relaxation and comfort. It is not pictured on the photograph, but he has an very handsome behind in those shorts. His girlfriend must be lucky. The hat tops it all off - literally. Figuratively, the hats does not really fly high. In my opinion his voluptuous hair needs a chance to breathe, definitely on these warm summer-y evening. It does give his appearance a nice touch, something you maybe wouldn't expect and something that diverges your attention to the entire packages. It is an eye-catcher, and as wel all know those are necessary to have a stand in today's scene. Style and fashion are important, but you have to make sure you are remembered. I am not suggesting you wear a camo-hat. I am just saying, that in this case, it lifts his outfit out of the realm of regularity.

If you would like to see more of this man, check out the music group Barker.

- Karel

[pantsarejustpants]

Overre-aching

Sometimes I do not have time to release the inner fashion blogger. I am a full time regular person so my time is divided between social circles, anti-social circles, work hours, sleep hours and whatever the fuck else I decide to lay my hands on. So apologies for the lack of updates lately, please excuse me. As a comeback, here is an outfit I wore a couple of weeks ago.

I went out to Antwerp, wearing the shirt I was wearing and the hoodie I was wearing, without realizing both garments expressed the same word, simple and pure: PUNK. My shirt, to start with, is an esteemed design Cocaine Piss issued brand shirt. The front just says PUNK in a cool-looking electrified font. The back says something else. You will have to buy it from them or steal it from me to know what. Or you can just wait till the back of that shirt appears here on this little diddy of a fashion blog. I bought the shirt at the band's release show for the debut album. I wanted to buy the album but the receiving end of the trade did not have enough change for my 20 euro note, so the only intelligent option was to purchase a shirt as well. At that point I had only seen the back of it as well, so the surprise came some days later as a stab to the chest with a heart-shaped pillow. The design, of which you can clearly see the part UNK pictured, is not only a fashion statement. It is a way of living, a lifestyle so to speak. It is a socio-political stance by ways of wearing a silly shirt. The deep blackness of the rather fitting Gildan Heavy Cotton shirt accentuates the entire ordeal as a call for uprise. The extremely goofy smile on my stupid face does quite the same. The sweatshirted hoodie (or hooded sweatshirt, depending on where you live and how you organise items in your brain), also spells out PUNK, but orbited by a blue disc that represents the prestige craft beer PUNK IPA. I bought this in a Brewdog bar in Camden Town, London - world's hipster capital. It cost a lot but I love it. I think I have already told you all that. But now you know, again. The big idea behind this outfit is a back-and-front PUNK exclamation, which was totally unintentional up til the point I realized what was going on in my outfit, then it became totally intentional.

I feel it is also pretty crucial that I sometimes actually wear the hood of the sweatshirt as a hood. Some people do not use that feature, I rather like it. It is very convenient in cases such as sleeping on public transport vehicles, avoiding people you see on the street that you do not wanna say hi to, looking extremely fuzzin' cool, looking tough as balls, hiding your bad hair day, creating an bad hair day, and last but not least, protecting your hair and neck from incidents such as the sun or the rain, or war shrapnel. In this case, I think it just looked cool. I think that was my main objective - that is always my main objective.

The gray jeans and worn-out Chucks are exemplary of the general cool feel in the photo. My photographer, in this case my lovely girlfriend, did very much try to incorporate the once great Florida bar in Antwerp - a bar known for its drugs traffic and sketchy clients - into the picture. The decay of my once-florishing Converse All Stars is almost a metaphor for the decay of these dubious bars and places. I do not know in what way, but surely it is suchly.

It looks like I am peeing in that last picture. I do not know why.

- Karel

[pantsarejustpants]

Discounting sheep

Every cheap bastard is rejoicing at the moment because summer sales have started here and that's the time when you can get sweet sweet deals on stuff you do not really need.

Because I have a lot of experience, and know a lot, here are some tips to survive these exciting times: - A lot of stores have air conditioning. On these heated days you might be tempted to hang out there longer than you provisionally wanted because it is so much cooler there and it is a refreshing break from the outside hell. But do not be fooled. Check what you want and/or need and don't wander around. You will find stuff you did not initially search for, you will buy it and you will regret it. You will have no one to blame for it than yourself, and Ra, obviously.

- Do not buy things that are not on sale. Not even if you want them. They are not worth your money, those pretentious fuck-pieces of clothing. Spend your dime on a cheap cut!

- Do not buy shorts. You can just cut off old pantaloons and use those as shorts.

- If you are low on cash, use your credit card! Buy now, worry about debts, loan payments, rent, phone bills, gas, water, electricity, food & beverages, general health, financial credibility, inflation, general comfort and insurance bills later!

- Please do not buy t-shirts with ironic prints. This has nothing to do with sale season, it just has to stop urgently.

- Haggle. If something happens to be a bit too pricey, even after the discount, say you have seen it in a store in Dubai for less.

- Try to score some cheap adult clothes. You know, those clothes that make you look like you have graduated successfully and are now an IT expert or accountant or shit like that. Maybe get a cheap tie, you never know when you are gonna be invited for a wedding, right? A tie does not die.

- Looking for a gift for a certain Mr. Cool Guy or Mrs. Rad Gal? Buy it now! Who cares if their birthdays or other present-occasions are 4 months from now. It is cheaper now, and your friend will never know you are a cheap skate, or they will appreciate the effort you did, thinking of him or her months in advance.

- Go by yourself. You do not need anyone's opinion - or worse, approval - for what you buy. You are off quicker, easier and you can do what you want without compromising with someone else's preferences.

- Thrift stores have all-year sales.

There ya go. I hope you learned something.

If you wanna know what I wore for the hottest days of the year so far, I can safely tell you I just wore boxers until I had to go to work. I put on pants and a shirt for work, cause I have to. Not because I want to. Speaking of work, look how our new shirts look like! They are very beautiful.

Can you imagine? I can. Unfortunately.

-Karel

[pantsarejustpants]

No shirt, Sherlock.

I know it is weird posting a politically incorrect opinion through a medium such as Tumblr, but this blog just uses Tumblr and a means to an end and not as a Web 2.0 kind of deal. It is just an easy online tool. I will cut to the chase, Student workers in Belgian beach city Ostend are politely asking people to wear upper-body garment in order to be sensible to everyone. Read all about it in Dutch here.

I think that bonks. I am not a fan of exposed floppy bellies, or wrinkly triple hips, or undeniably gross body issues. Additionally, I am not a fan of gender inequality and privilige, such as the Grand Nipple Issue. But why bother addressing people on the street with that? Can we not let those who prefer to blob around unshirtedly, blob around suchly? Can we not? Is this society so conceited that it can not stand going back to its roots and not care about decencies, but consider survivalist methods and instinctive behaviour? Frequent readers of this blog might have found I have a free-spirited vision upon the actual wearing of the clothing you have. Shorts are fine. Swimming trunks do not hurt. At the beach and the swimming pools it is fine, but the minute you start to wander the city centre you have to dress up and cover your tum-tum. I think that is a bit, comment-dire, stupid.

I would rather not give this ye olde gender-oriented turnaround and just leave it at that. I have opinions on the Grand Nipple Issue but frankly, nipples are not my specialty.

- Karel

[pantsarejustpants]

Summer, like the season.

It has been a while, has it not, Internet? I am so sorry, my actual life got in the way of writing important fashion comments, advice and tips. To make up for it, I present you this beauty!

Gorgeous, is she not? This picture was taken a week ago in Antwerp, at the Roosevelt Square. Look how the wind takes her hair by storm. Look at the elegance of the dress in the breeze of the early summer eve. Look at those cheap fucking shoes.

She bought her shoes at the new Primark store in Hasselt. They are cheap as chips. Almost literally. Chips will cost you about 2-3 euros. These shoes will costs you just a few portions of chips. But they look vibrant, the bright pink is very luminant and adds a nice edge beneath the long spotted dress. Remember, cheap can be stylish. Most of the time it only means the product will not last as long, which basically is no big deal cause you get to go and buy a new pair of shoes sooner rather than later. They will be ripped and raffled by the time you get bored of them. Great thinking, lady! Now, what the shoes do signal is a fugitive je-m'en-foutism and a call towards this generation's consumptional behaviour. Much like the Starbucks cup of iced coffee (for darn's sake). These two attributes are typical of a certain "white girl" or "basic person" outfit. We will not address whether this was done purposefully or not. Let it be clear I do not condone or approve of iced coffee.

The real hero of the outfit is the lovely summer's dress. Black as the lady's soul, yet flower-patterned as the breach between her soul and body. The dress covers her legs entirely, but yet gives off a slightly flirtatious vibe. I can vouch that it worked for me either way. The light semi-jeans vest tops of the outfit by adding some colour, some brightness in the depth and an airy look. She colour-coordinated her handbag with the rest of her outfit and her vibrant hair, opting for a brown bag that doesn't get lost in the rest of her garments but doesn't shine too bright either. It is a subtle touch that makes her look sophisticated and ready to take on the world.

One iced drink at a time.

-Karel

[pantsarejustpants]

White stuff.

The other day at work my female co-workers were all talking about buying clothes. I was being a good employee and doing like, work and all that. When I finished a couple tasks I eaves-dropped and they were talking about white pants. So my co-worker asks me if I know a place where one could buy white pants.

To which I respond “Is it even allowed to sell white pants?!“

Zing. On point. I am a fashion guru.

[pantsarejustpants]

We need to get out of these boxers.

The sun is out, the temperature are up-and-atom and I have 2 days off!

That is me, enjoying the right fuck out of that giant exothermic heat-producing orb in the sky. As you can see I am not wearing pants cause it was really nice out. My boxers are short, black, subtly striped and leave a lot to the imagination. My socks have the Tasmanian Devil from the Looney Tunes printed on them. I now realise I look like a big child. Anyway, this blog is all about fashion and style so it is legit that I am wearing cartoon-themed socks. It is even advisable.

My shirt is a black shirt printed by the band Bite Down on a Gildan ultra cotton shirt. I hear your opinions, I hear your chants: “Black clothes on such a lovely day? What a stupid idea!” Yes, you are right. It was a stupid idea. But I don’t roll like that, you see. I see clothing as art, as compositional science. And this worked. This was cathartic - although definitely not arctic (rimshot)! I like the shirt. It is fairly light and the print is straight-forward, simple and looks cool. It looks like it was painted on with a tiny paintbrush but we all know that is not a good way to get designs onto cotton, certainly not when you have to make more than one.

There ya go. Less clothes, less text. Win-win situation.

- Karel

[pantsarejustpants]

Work’s for suckers

This outfit is from yesterday. That does not mean it’s outdated (per say). It just means I was wearing it yesterday. I know fashion is a volatile thing, but come one. This was just yesterday. Yesterday’s outfit.

As you might notice, I am fairly properly dressed. Do not be alarmed, I am not selling out or anything. I just got a job these days, and the job happens to require me to look fairly properly dressed. I work the reception at a decent (three stars apparently) hotel. So I wear a plain long-sleeve buttoned-up button-up shirt and dark trousers. I bought the shirt three days before my first day. I bought it at Celio, and if you have been following this blog you should know by now that is one of my favourite stores, definitely for a decent shirt. I bought this C*7 grey slim fit medium shirt within a split second. I tried it on, genuinely thought to myself “fuck I look so sexy in this“ and then grabbed another one, albeit a blue-coloured one, and bought them both for 30 euros each. Just a good deal I reckon. Also I can afford such purchases now because I have a job. The downside is that as soon as I am out of my training period and I become a full-on member of the team I will probably receive an official hotel-logo shirt, which comes in turquoise or fuchsia. The fuchsia is even the better-looking one of the two, so just imagine. But for the time being, I will serve our costumers looking like a big piece of wrapped man candy. You might also notice I do not have an iron and/or ironing board so that is kind of a problem. But at the same time it is not the larger issue here. We will pull through.

Here you can closely see how dapper I look. I made it black-and-white because that is important for reasons. I also made a negative picture because it looks sort of cool and weird.

I was wearing the same trousers as I was wearing on the day of my interview. They fit me well and do not look as ridiculous as my other pairs of black trousers. Needless to say I was pretty stoked on wearing these to work. Neither my wallet nor my phone actually fit in the pockets but I do not use those things for work abviously (obviously!) so that is no issue. It is an issue many times when I casually wear them but not at work.

I bought the shoes for €15 at Shoe Discount because they look clean, which was the main incentive. Also they look like shoes normal working people wear. They are cheap and plastic so at the end of the day my feet smell like several desecrated graveyards. That is how I came up with a new slogan “SHOE DISCOUNT: Make your feet smell of death for just €15!“

If you ever want to stay in Leuven for a night or a weekend, and you want to see a handsome man in an unironed shirt and lady’s pants, do not hesitate!

- Karel

[pantsarejustpants]

I keep you in my pocket.

Upper-body fashion post! Before I get Tumblr warriors on my roof (that’s a Dutchism!), I’m not lower-bodyshaming, I’m just focusing on the above-the-belt area. Fashion-wise, one of the more interesting area.

The weather was very sweater-on/sweater-off today. It was quite warm when the sun was out but not too hot when it was cloudy. So out of practical reasons and with fashionable intension I decided to go for the shirt and unbuttoned button-up shirt combo. This particular unbuttoned button-up shirt is a Hot’s Company flannel medium-sized shirt. As you might deduct from the brand name that nobody’s ever heard of and sounds well sketchy, I bought this shirt in a thrift store for 2 euros. The slogan on the label says “It’s finest wear. We love Hot’s.“ Now there’s one marketeer/copywriter who hopefully got fired. Not only is my shirt’s insription gramatically incorrect, it just doesn’t make any sense. But I will be honest and surpass all the branding nonsense and just say I absolutely adore this garment. It has a colourful all-round adaptable blue-and-orange checked pattern. If you do not agree that blue and orange are the new gray and white then your opinion is very much different than mine and you are most probably wrong. My overshirt has two front-pockets. I really like pockets in upper-body clothing (see below), so I’m really excited about these. They do not have flaps so they just close with a button at the top. The major advantage is that you can easily drop in or pull out small object, and you do not end up looking like an idiot when you put in a pen. If you put a pen in a flapped pocket the flap will bend in a weird way and it just looks ridiculous. Take it from me. Seriously. If you are lucky you could even fit a small dog in your pocket. So yeah, I am pretty stoked about it. Recently I have even given it some extra decoration...

N.B.: I was hesitating if I should include the back of my face in that photo, or my butt. Let me know if I made the right decision! I have sewn a punkrock backpatch on the particular shirt. It says “PDS JUGEND”. It is a promotional item for the band The Priceduifkes, who based the idea largely on the Turbonegro Jugend, another rock and roll fan club, and less notably on the Hitler Jugend, also a fan club of some kind. Simple black-and-gray design, and you can see clearly how blue-and-orange are in fact a very adaptable combination. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this.

If you are not still distracted by my marvelous and invisible buttocks, take a look at this close-up of my undershirt shirtpocket. Did I not tell you I liked upperbody pockets? Yes I did. In this particular pocket there is a pen. The pen, let me repeat this, is a very stylish and utilitarian item. Traditionally not a wardrobe item, or at the very least not stored in the wardrobe generally, but I am a big believer of a shelf of pens in everyone’s wardrobe.* The shirt is a lovely Fruit Of The Loom heavy cotton shirt with the words “Muncie Girls” printed on the pocket. There is a large and very beautiful print on the back as well but we can not see it today so you’ll have to anxiously wait for a warmer day and a revision of this shirt. Or if you just ask me I will probably inhestitantly show you.

- Karel

* Pens are not suitable for laundry.

[pantsarejustpants]

2004 called.

While you all are anxiously awaiting my work outfit, which I’ve failed to photograph up until now and take of fairly immediate after I get home, I got my spare-time clothes to share with you. And what better way to share that with you than a very MySpace pose?

It looks like I am floating!!!! It looks like I am in the sky, beyond the clouds and I brought nothing on my ascent but a small Hartke bass amplifier and a small bit of our brick wall. Do not let the photo fool you though, it’s just the lighting that makes it look that way. I am standing on firm ground. I also do not engage in filters (i.e. #nofilter) and I only use PhotoShop to decrease the size of my pictures. Everything you see on here is as real as the fact Kanye West named his daughter North.

So yeah, more about my current work outfit tomorrow, let us focus on this exciting “kick-out-your-shoes-and-get-all-couch-potato” outfit. Featuring one of my favourite items in my wardrobe: my £9 Primark shoes. Often worn, now used as slippers due to insane beat-upness. There are toe-made holes in the front of the fabric and the soles are worthless. I still like them. I bought them because I wanted an extra pair of shoes at WTFest VI last October. They look very hoboesque. Not great for when you have to leave the house, absolutely fantastic for when you do not. I also bought a One Direction advent calendar at that purchase. Great pairing (get it?).

I’m not wearing a belt today! Hooray for me! This pair of pants is one of the few that do not slide down when I wear them. They do a bit, but in the end they’re a near-perfect fit. Very good pants. I bought them at Celio, best store around when it comes to decent-fitting and generally good-looking clothing. Their clothes are not exceptional, but they are amazing. They put you in a good mood. Another plus: easy to take off! Ask my girlfriend, har har har.

I am wearing a gray printed small Fruit Of The Loom t-shirt. It features a dead bird in black and grey, the words “THE DUTCH RUDDERS” on top and the caption “Life just disappoints.“ at the bottom. Why, you ask. Well, I would not know. What does it mean? Why is the rudder Dutch? Who said that life disappoints? Isn’t life grand? I like the shirt. It is pretty. Sometimes it is as simple as that. You have seen the sweatshirt before. I wear it a lot. I do not make a secret there from. I believe fashion is about finding the balance between grace and comfort. I do not claim to have found that balance, but as you see I am trying my best. The hooded sweatshirt is especially convenient because I got a recent haircut. You know how you do not like your hair the first couple of days after a haircut? That is exactly why hoodies were invented.

Maybe not.

- Karel

[pantsarejustpants]

It’s just another Sunday. (May 17th)

It is a lazy Sunday. That is still not a reason to dress like an absolute idiot. Yet here I am!

I will not tell you that this is cool now or anything like that, because it is not. I am sporting some shorts I found laying around that were not used enough to hit the laundry basket. You might remember them from blogposts such as ‘If I could just stay awake.‘ Perfect for an afternoon inside the house making onion rings. Those onion rings did make sure the shorts are now ready for laundry though. Messy dough stains.

The shirt is an At The Drive-In merchandise item printed on a black Gildan softstyle. It was way too expensive but I bought it at Reading Festival 2012 because it was getting cold at night and they are one of my favourite bands ever so I just went ahead and bought it. It’s a bit too small but who cares really?

My socks are awesomely bordeaux and my hat is pretty stupid.

I wear my hat backwards because it looks cool. That’s a fashion tip right there!

-Karel

[pantsarejustpants]

Black jeans, blue shirt, dumb shoes

They often say “dress to impress“. I don’t believe in that. I think people are onto your phony intentions if you’re dressed too well. I do believe in the “undress to impress” idiom, but that’s a different story. Anyway I got a job today.

I looked like that. Is it casual chique? Is it faux-propre? Can I make up any other words? I don’t know. But it is comfortable and it looks pretty decent. I did button up the shirt one more time later, so it was tight and looked slightly more professional. I went to my job interview this morning. As it goes with many interviews, I ended up not talking all that much actually. I sat across my future-employer, looking pretty, smiling and telling her how I felt about the job and why I should do the job. So this outfit shall now be known as the “I would like to do services under your command in trade for currency please“-look. I will have to go buy and wear some more decent shirts for this job so get excited for silly old boring designs and rebellious hidden details. The shirt is an Original Esprit Vintage Style design. I do not know why it is labelled like that but it is. Someone decided it should be like that and so it became. That works for both god and employers. I do not remember when or for what occasion I bought this but I have had it for quite some time. I think I wore it to a formal dance for the first time maybe. I think it was our middle school graduation formal dance party. I think I quickly decided to unbutton it that night. It was a good night. I got very drunk. And now this shirt got me a job. Well, sort of. It might have something to do with my human capacities as well. Oh well.

The funnest fact about those pants is probably that they were my mother’s trousers. They didn’t fit her anymore so she gave them to me. They are great! I absolutely love them. They are Mac brand pants, Carrie Pipe series, 80% cotton, 19% polyester, 1% elasthan. I am a total sucker for elesthan. I would bed over backward for it. What is more, I do not want to be a brand geek or jump on any brandwagon, but damn, Mac is a good brand. I have at least two pairs of Mac pants and they both fit and feel great. It is pretty confusing though, because there also is a cosmetics brand called Mac and Apple computers are also often called Mac. But rest assured, these pants are not any sort of make-up, nor are they designer iPants. Sometimes, pants are just pants.

EDIT: Got a illuminating message - “Anonymous said: Not to mention that McDonald's is something referred to as "de mac". Makes you think.“ Definitely, thanks for the remark anonymous person!

I was a bit worried they would test my French at the job interview, and my French, honestly, is not fantastic. It is decent, like my outfit. It is there, but not so notable. That was why, underneath the “please hire me“ button-up shirt I wore my Helltons shirt, printed on Gildan heavy cotton. They are a French band, friends of mine and I hoped their T-shirt would morally support me on this semi-important morning. My employer-to-be did not inquire about my French, so it was all good really. Nonetheless I really like this shirt. I received it from the band when I hopped in the van with them past December. I only brought one T-shirt so in order to not smell too bad, I got an extra one. Total sweethearts. The person printed repeatedly on the T-shirt is Alain Juppé, mayor of Bordeaux. Below it says “les pires d’entre nous“, which roughly translates to “the worst among us“. Needless to say the band is no fan of corrupt governing and long-term city mayors.

And yes, I need a haircut.

-Karel

[pantsarejustpants]

I wanna be naked.

My housemate and good friend is signing a contract today so he went and bought some new clothes, appropriate to the company’s norms. Shirt and tie. He’s always been a handsome motherfucker, but damn...

Would you look at that?! While I was hanging out in my room naked, Domien come back home looking like a piece of proper man-candy. Of course I put on some underwear just in time. He did pay good money to look like this though. His fit shirt makes him look like a total chump... I mean, champ! Classic design, a bit on the safe side maybe, but a man has got to do what a man has got to do. I think the light-blue colour of the small carreaus attributes a definite likeability factor to the shirt. A light, neutral and classy pattern comforts the social environment. So, on top of a stylish option for the work-place, it is also a perfect outfit for the slightly more classy night out, a dinner by candlelight, a summery wedding party or just a good old fuck-date - just take care the shirt doesn’t get destroyed by wild females trying to get you naked.

To fully experience the grown-up world, ties are indispensable. They have the ability to bring you from the “I have no idea what to do with my life“-look all the way up to the radiant “I am successfully successful“-glance. Note that it is the idea behind this that counts, and that I am not saying anyone without a tie is a clueless nit-wit. This guy here chose a neat darker blue tie to complement the shirt. It is a subtle highlight in a sea of little blue squares. Adequately knotted and well-hung*, the accents nicely pop out and while the upper part is an eye-catcher for sure, it is anything but distracting, as is appropriate in employer-employee relations or work-related situations. As they say “my eyes are up here, babe.“. By now most of you have probably already undressed him with your eyes, and no one blames you for it, but it is not due to the outfit. Let me tell you that.

Well anyway, this is a clear-cut case of company dresscode and there is no other choice than to submit to it if you wanna survive in the real world. From the photo above this paragraph, taken 5 minutes earlier than the first one, you can see the person followed the advice of tucking in his shirt. Immediately you see the point I was making earlier: tuck it in, you are ready for the job - leave it out, you are ready for a fun night at the cocktail bar. It is a very polyvalent outfit in that area. When it is tucked in, you can however clearly see the belt, a sign of class and an ever-lasting reminder that very few pants in your wardrobe actually fit your waist. The feeling of a beltless pair of pants that doesn’t drop or slide down all the time is heavenly. And also non-existent. Gott is tot. Nietzsche. Look it up.

These pants are, by the way, pretty close to heavenly. They form a stylish transference between the shirt and the casual-chic brown shoes (not pictured). The colour palette works. I don’t know if he got any help in the store, or if he assembled it all by himself, but at least someone did a good job turning this attractive abyssal dog into a sexy handsome hellhound.

Meanwhile, I just got back from a thing I had to do and it is way too warm.

- Karel

* pun definitely intended